


Desiderium (Drarry) boyxboy

by CompletelyDrarry



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: BoyxBoy, Gryffindor, Hogwarts, LGBTQ Character, M/M, Slytherin, Top Draco Malfoy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-08-10 10:48:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 20
Words: 140,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20134210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CompletelyDrarry/pseuds/CompletelyDrarry
Summary: noun,plural des·i·de·ri·a [des-i-deer-ee-uh]/ˌdɛs ɪˈdɪər i ə/.1.an ardent longing, as for something lost.





	1. Chapter 1

It was months after I had defeated Voldemort, and I mean months. A year, almost. Hogwarts was nearly finished getting rebuilt. 

If I'm honest I'm not sure any of this was even real. It was hard to process. I didn't know how. Eight months of peace and I should've taken this time to process and relax, but I drove myself bloody mad. 

Nothing felt real, every last thing spooked me and I found myself isolating and distancing myself from everyone. 

Hermione and Ron have been constantly checking on me, I think they've noticed my sudden change. It felt like I hardly even had a personality before. 

After Voldemort, it feels every last bit of reality and happiness I had left just got stripped away along with him. 

But it was the first day back at school, I had been debating whether I wanted to go all morning. But Ron said I absolutely had to. 

He reassured me it'd be an amazing day. 

Harry Potter; the chosen one and the man who ridded the world of Voldemort and saved Hogwarts. 

I'm even more of a legend than before. 

And I didn't want the attention. 

Anyway though, Ron and I met Hermione at the train and got to Hogwarts soon after all that. 

The whole train ride was them talking and trying to include me, but I was quiet and hardly even there the whole train ride. Physically, I was there, but mentally I was dozing off. 

I couldn't help but wonder what this year would be like, I just wanted to get by unnoticed like all my peers, but I'm Harry bloody Potter so that means heads turn everywhere I go. 

You get used to it, but after I hit this weird phase of distancing myself and clamming up every time someone showed interest, I got anxiety just thinking about how bad it'd be this year. 

I don't think I can handle something like that again. I felt so empty, I wouldn't want to fight it. 

The three of us stopped where we were supposed to part ways with Hermione, in the middle of the crowd. 

"Boys," she grinned. 

"Hermione," Ron returned the grin and they smiled fondly at one another. 

I pursed my lips, but forced a tiny smile and gave a nod when she turned to me. 

"I better be off, I need to get settled." 

"Of course, I'll talk to you later, yeah?" 

The two leaned in and joined together for a sweet short kiss and she almost didn't pull away, but licked her lips with a cute smile as she turned away. 

I sighed deeply, "Before you ask, I'm fine."

I could tell Ron was rushing their goodbye to ask me that. He was clearly anxious and groaned. 

"You aren't! All you do is ignore me and respond with short crap, I'm tired of it!"

"I'm sorry, mate. Trust me I really am," I stared him in the eye and rested a hand on his shoulder, "not so recent events have me a little messed up, I guess. But I'm fine, I'll get over it I just need to recharge, is all."

He was short with me this time, just pursing his lips together and gesturing so I'd start walking. 

Yeah, I wasn't in the mood for this conversation either, so I did start walking. We both did, in silence. 

I've always been honest with Ron, but I didn't have the heart to tell him I felt empty and that I couldn't process reality. 

It's so hard to explain, I don't even know what it is. But I've accepted it, nobody else wants to though. I'm the great Harry Potter, I'm not supposed to feel alone and empty. People would give everything they had to me because of everything, as a reward, and yet I just want to be alone. 

I feel alone, and I want it that way at times. 

Maybe pushing my only friends away is a bad idea, but it's all I could do, otherwise I'm just a burden. I hated how I felt but it is what it is. 

We were traveling the long halls in silence, keeping close. That is, until we spotted a familiar someone. The whole room stopped talking to stare. 

He stared back. 

"Malfoy." Ron whispered. I felt my heart drop. 

I didn't expect to see him return, not after the whole school witnessed him and his family on Voldemort's side. I wouldn't have the guts. 

Draco swallowed hard and pushed forward and through the crowd, trying to push past Ron and I but then he realized who it was, staring at me and stopping in his tracks. 

"Malfoy.." I repeated Ron's words from earlier and spoke without a second thought. Our eyes met and we stood there for a second, but he broke the contact and started pushing past everyone again. 

I turned to watch him run off. 

"What the hell is he doing here?" Ron stared at him as well. He hated Malfoy, he didn't see the boys struggles and pressure he was under. 

Draco hid that side of him, and I paid attention. I wanted to help him, at times. But I was too late by the time I realized it. 

But I didn't say a word and turned to start walking, Ron wouldn't understand. 

He shouldn't be back, I'll say that. But I admire his courage. 

In the end I know what happened and there isn't a thing I can do, but it doesn't mean I'll give him a harder time than he's already probably having. 

I just left it alone, didn't think about that moment for weeks, until everyone was settled and I had to use the loo. 

I walked down the halls and into the restroom, where a boy stood in front of the sink and stared at himself in the mirror. 

He looked as if he were struggling, overthinking everything. That's what I gathered the second I saw him. 

After a few seconds I knew who it was; Malfoy. 

He looked at me in the mirror, and then turned to face me with swollen eyes. 

"What do you want, Potter?"

"I've got to take a piss." I answered nonchalantly, walking next to the sinks where the urinals were and unzipping my pants. 

There was a weird silence, but I wasn't sure what I expected to be fair. 

Draco cleared his throat and straightened his back, "What, no 'why're you back' or 'you've got some nerve'?" 

I did my business and then eyed him after a few seconds. 

"I'm sure you get enough of that as it is, I don't think you want to hear it from the man himself."

I could sense a slight smile, but avoided eye contact once I started letting the water run over my hands. 

As cocky as it was to say 'the man himself' when referring to me, we both knew how accurate my words were and I knew he knew. 

Everyone knew. 

So it was no surprise I acknowledged it. 

It was no surprise that Draco felt almost relieved, I assumed he had gotten a lot of shit since he got back, because if he hadn't he would've returned to giving me shit, and he hasn't. He got a taste of his own medicine, I bet, and started being considerate. 

"You're the first person to actually say something like that, believe it or not." He turned to face me but I grabbed the towels to dry my hands and forced a smile. "Doesn't mean you're any less of a self-centered arse."

"I figured. Still," it was nice to have a quiet conversation, without wands or arguing, as in I didn't argue with him. He had no reason to be soft. I've never had a decent conversation with him, a normal one. "It'll cool down eventually."

Draco didn't respond, he just turned back around and watched himself in the mirror. 

That was that, I didn't want to push anything and anger him, so I nodded, clicking my tongue and left. 

I went back to my class and sat next to Ron with a small smile. He stared, a little confused. I had been all nonchalant and distant and suddenly a trip to the bathroom I'm all flustered? Yeah I get where he's coming from. 

But it's not that I was flattered or anything, I just was happy to have that conversation. We both needed it, him more so than I. But I'm hoping it cleared things, he might not hate me as much for being considerate about his situation. 

Hey, all I could think about is how bad it must be for him back here. This whole school is terrified of Voldemort, Draco looked him in the eyes and had to follow his fathers footsteps, the school witnessed that. I witnessed it.

Can you blame me for being considerate? For thinking about it constantly?

Everyone assumes I should hate the guy, he tormented me through every school year and then sided with Voldemort, but unwillingly. That's the part everyone leaves out, he didn't have a choice, I saw it in his eyes. There was hesitation, and slight resistance. I know what I saw. 

Doesn't change the fact that in no way I'd even consider being his friend, but doesn't mean I shouldn't consider all sides to the story. 

Soon the day was over, Ron and I were gonna go visit Hagrid, we were on our way at least. 

He kept pushing and asking why I was all smiley, because I hadn't been for awhile. All summer I ignored them anyways, so it's only understandable that he'd question me I suppose. 

"Look, Ronald! I've just processed things. Draco..is getting a taste of his own medicine, I think for the first year he won't be in the picture. Voldemort is gone, the school is stable again, things are good. We finally get some peace." I don't know why I lied, that wasn't true. I hadn't processed that. It's a glass half empty or full situation, and it was not half full to me at all. Half empty, because that's all I felt; empty. 

I knew what mindset I had to have, I was above major struggling. But I let it get to me for once, just to cope. I never got to cope with my emotions, I found distractions. Voldemort was my distraction. 

Heck, that was my coping method. Distractions. It wasn't very healthy. 

Now that I have time to manage it, I've been trying. 

It's harder than I thought but not terrible, not something I can't handle. 

Only thing is it's hurting my friends slightly, and I realize that. 

"Yeah," Ron didn't question me further, accepted the answer despite his suspicion, "Draco had it coming, I suppose. Karma's a bitch, huh?"

I kept walking, but frowned, "Yeah, but it's for the wrong reasons. Do you honestly believe he'd side with you-know-who, Ron? He never had the guts. After everything I think he was on our side."

"No, he wasn't." He scoffed and stopped walking just to face me. I turned as well, because I knew I'd have to defend my opinion. It's not a common thing, most people despise Draco for having the audacity to return to Hogwarts. But think of it this way, if he truly didn't belong here, do you really think the ministry would allow him to return? Absolutely bloody not, they'd deny his attempt at reenrolling. 

Ron sighed deeply, lowering his voice because he noticed my angered expression. "Harry..Malfoy was not on our side. You're too kind, sometimes that kindness blinds you. He deserves the shit he's getting, don't try denying that."

"Look, all things considered, trust me. But I know what happened, Draco had every last opportunity to betray us, to expose me and hand me over to Voldemort, but the fact that he didn't counts for something. He's just at a low, Ron. And it's because of my kindness that I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt, it's all about perspective, and I personally think mine, it's looking at all sides. Not just the assumption you're all making." My voice was steady and stern, I wasn't gonna get all dramatic over it. I didn't want to. 

Ron could tell I wasn't worth arguing with, he simply frowned. But just because he could tell didn't mean he didn't want to. 

I've always had a weird opinion on Draco. The reasonable emotion to feel is hatred, considering what he's put me through and who he was involved with. Especially hatred from me, but I don't. I feel nothing towards him. If I have to name an emotion, why not call it sympathy? Maybe I'm a fool but Draco probably would disagree if I expressed my opinion. 

"He didn't want blood on his hands. It's not about whether he did it for you or because he was on our side. It's about him." He gritted his teeth, "You're flattering yourself, Harry. He was looking out for himself, not you."

I didn't agree. As much as I'd like to, I didn't. I grabbed my friends wrist and stared harshly before speaking, "We both know that isn't true."

The red headed boy was preparing his next argument, but something fire like came flying in our direction. 

Luckily I noticed it enough quickly, yelling 'duck' and pushing Ron down as it passed and hit the brick wall behind us. 

I saw the creature who threw it at us, standing far back and running closer. I quickly pulled my wand out, my mind racing with what spell I could use. I can't kill whatever or whoever this is, it's on school grounds. 

So, I aimed it at the man and hesitated slightly. My breathing was heavy, it was defense, if he did die I'm sure I'd get by with a detention of some sort, right? Maybe. I don't know. 

My name counts for something, usually there isn't harsh punishment. 

And that's because my name, it's because I'm targeted by a lot of people. 

Just like now, I'm the target. Not Ron. If it were Ron he'd be dead, but it's me the fire was aimed for. Ron happened to be closer because I held his wrist. 

"Expelliarmus!" 

His wand came flying my direction and Ron grabbed it when it hit the ground, standing as well. He didn't have his wand currently, but I was paranoid, so I carried mine everywhere. And it's bloody good that I do otherwise we'd die. 

He pointed the wand at the guy as well but I reacted all too quickly. Don't give time by questioning their motive, because you give them time to debate their next move and give them a chance to distract. I've learned the hard way in the past. 

"Crucio!" I yelled, angrily I might add. 

He fell to the ground, groaning in excruciating pain. I took this moment and breathed, dropping my arm and watching him struggle to stand back up. 

"Alert Hagrid, please." I watched Ron run down to his house and sat on the ground, the man yelling still. 

That was the first attack since I've got back. I didn't expect there to be more attacks. I thought it was over, but I suppose it's never over. 

I felt so mentally exhausted, just thinking of how many more there'll probably be. I hated this guy already, for just reminding me peace hardly exists when you're me. 

I sat next to him but at a slight distance, holding my wand out and whispering, "Incendio."

His arm caught fire, and he panicked even more. 

Hagrid and Ron came rushing back up, seeing the mess I created. I found it amusing, because I was upset the man reminded me that I'm never safe. 

For awhile my mindset has been healthy, kind of. I was managing and then this ugly twit decides to ruin that. Of course. 

"He tried to kill me." I said before Hagrid could comment. 

He saw the emotion–that hardly was visible–in my eyes and nodded, "Right then."

"Why do ya think he was targeting 'arry?" My friends accent was thick, I don't know why but whenever he failed to pronounce my name with 'h' I just smiled. This time I didn't, I was upset this man tried attacking me. 

"You-know-who's followers, I guarantee 'yer. They think good ol' Voldemort is living inside Harry. His soul latching onto the nearest living thing. 'Our lord will rise again' n' all that." Hagrid had mumbled something under his breath and the man stopped groaning and the fire disappeared. 

He grabbed the man and turned back to me, "We'll talk later, boys."

The two of us watched Hagrid walk up the hill. We were both upset to hear that now. Maybe Ron more so than me, I figured that moments ago. 

It's similar to what Dumbledore had said, me being a horcrux before I died. It reminded me of that. 

If he were living inside me, you'd think I'd be driving myself mad. But I'm fine, I feel empty but it's only because I'm letting myself to cope. It has nothing to do with him. 

It's no bloody surprise that his followers are gonna be attacking now though. 

"There's never any time to relax, is there?" I sighed quietly as Ron rested a hand on my shoulder. 

"Not as long as you're you."

"Yeah," I watched Hagrid disappear behind the wall and finally turned to Ron, "you're right, sadly."

~

Hermione laid on the couch with Ron at the other end, her feet on his lap. I stayed in the chair across from it with my legs curled. 

We were trying to figure out a plan for these threats. 

And really, that conversation went about like this. 

"Absolutely not, I'm not putting you in danger!" I raised my voice slightly, only because I said it four times already. "Last time I had help-" 

I didn't dare finish, Ron hated when I blamed myself for his brothers death. I kept quiet when he narrowed his eyes. 

Neither said anything about my half-finished sentence. 

"We do it together." Hermione interrupted the silence that was trying to settle. 

I felt terrible about his brother, his family had been heartbroken, Ron didn't talk to me for months, I didn't talk to him either. 

Not only did it feel terrible, it was. I feel selfish, in a way. People should not get to risk their lives for me. Especially the only people I dare care about. 

"Point is.." this time I lowered my voice, easy and calm, "everyone who helps..ends up hurt or even dead. After last time..I can't do it again. I can't lose you guys, I can't lose more family."

They smiled slightly at each other and stayed silent. I never refer to them as family anymore, because the second I do it means if they die it'll hurt more than it has to, because I've accepted our deep connections. 

Neither saw it that way, but I did, sadly. 

I couldn't possibly risk their lives. If it's just Voldemort's followers, I'll be fine. They're not that intelligent. 

"You doing alright, Harry?" A voice spoke from the doorway. He had his belongings, meaning he was coming back to the room. It was Neville. Also meaning, our conversation was over. 

He walked closer and set his books down, "I heard about the attack, the whole school has."

I forced a smile, "I'm alright, Neville, thank you."

Neville coughed, "It got me thinking, what if you-know-who will return, like he isn't dead? What if he uses the resurrection stone? Or returns in a different body. Isn't it possible?"

My friends stared at Neville for daring to speak what everyone was thinking. It's not like the possibility didn't cross our minds, we're all paranoid, some more than others. 

I've been left alone with my thoughts, that one is a reoccurring thought I have often. 

"Err, Yeah- I mean it's possible, and we'd be a fool to avoid entertaining the possibility, but let's not stress it? There's no telling. I wouldn't worry." I say, a hypocrite. Because all I do is worry! 

"No telling?" Neville almost laughed, "Draco would tell. He might know something. Is it just a coincidence that he's returned? He wouldn't even begin to think about it..unless the dark lord himself has him keeping an eye on Harry. Because he wants to have the element of surprise and he can only do that with someone on the inside, in case we know he's planning on having the element of surprise."

It was a good theory, but I couldn't help but take the possibility into consideration. Like I said, we have to entertain it all. There's no telling, and I highly doubt Malfoy would tell me a thing. 

If my perspective is the most accurate, then he's probably insecure about it. I wouldn't even think about pushing. But what Neville said had me thinking. What if he was right? 

"Neville!" Hermione threw a pillow at him, "You and your bloody theories! Leave it be. Voldemort is dead, that's why Malfoy is back. To get his life back together."

I smiled slightly, at least someone agreed with me. All I've heard is how foolish and blind I am. 

Ron rolled his eyes but kept quiet. 

"What??" Neville chuckled, "Was it harsh? Or unrealistic?"

"Both!"

The whole night I tossed and turned, thinking hard about what I should do. Neville had a point, even if it wasn't fully..realistic. But Malfoy could still be a follower, a death eater. And Voldemort couldn't have used the stone, but who knows. Entertain the possibility, remember? So you're always prepared, or so I am, I guess. 

Finally, I just sat up, staring into the slight darkness. The moon shined through the windows and I sighed, deciding I would just take a walk. 

Of course I wasn't allowed, so I grabbed the Marauder's map and my wand, wandering down the halls. 

I didn't care that it was late, I was exhausted and couldn't sleep. 

Sometimes I'd just hide out in the library. It was always so calming, the smell of books, the dim lights added a whole aesthetic I really liked. Something about the room calmed me, and so I go there if I can. 

But when I reached the door, I heard sniffling. The lights were on, which was unusual. Meaning someone was in here. 

The person sniffles again, and I fold the map back up and shove it into my pocket along with my wand. 

I walked closer when I heard a sob, peeking through the cracks of the bookshelf. I spotted a familiar bright blonde headed boy and frowned deeply. 

Again? He was crying again? 

He must've sensed he was being watched, because he stopped immediately and held his breath. 

That's when I went around the bookshelf and peered down the long row, giving a sad small smile at Malfoy. 

"What the bloody hell, Potter?" Draco was quick to wipe the tears and rub his eyes until they were raw. "Don't you ever knock?"

"I couldn't sleep. And there isn't exactly a door I can knock on." I say sternly. His arm with the dark mark was showing, only for a few seconds. It looked bruised and swollen, as if something had happened. But he covered it up the second he noticed my stare. "What happened?" I tried, only to receive a glare from him. 

"The day I turn to you for support is the day I've lost it." Malfoy looked away from me when I took a few steps closer and slid my back down the other wall. "Get lost, okay? I'm not-"

"Your arm." I said, "It's bruised, swollen I think. What happened?"

Draco didn't answer and just stared up with the sad look in his eyes I saw the first day of school. I need to stop catching him in these states, I feel sympathy when all people ever say is I shouldn't, not for him. 

"You know," it was worth a shot, right? The classic connection talk. If it didn't work I'd piss off, but I think he needs it more than I do right now. I cracked a small smile and watched his eyes carefully, "they think you willingly went with Voldemort. And that you didn't come back willingly."

His head shot up and he stared, "Do you believe that?"

"No," my eyes fell to the floor, "I know what I saw. I know you know what I saw. Let people react how they want-"

"The whole school's turned on me, it's not like I have a say in any of this." 

I just smiled, "We never have a say in what goes on. Control is key to everyone, once you accept you aren't in control it's easy. That's why everyone's so harsh with you being back, they want control of this." 

Draco was hesitant, awkward even. I could tell he didn't want to really talk, but it didn't look like he wanted to be alone. 

"The ministry decided to let me back."

"I figured."

It got silent, because the small talk was over. I wanted to know what happened to his wrist, but I didn't want to push. It's a weird situation. 

"I appreciate your attempt at small talk, trust me, but you should leave." He sent me a cold stare but I didn't crack. 

I could tell he didn't want to be alone. His eyes lit up when he saw me sit down. I know it. 

"Show me your arm and I'll go." 

His hesitation said a lot, but I could tell he'd give in eventually. Draco pulled up his sleeve and showed me the mark. It was bruised, and it looked as if there were a bunch of mosquito bites aching to be itched. His skin looked extremely raw, my heart left my body when I saw it. 

"Is it- because he's dead?" I couldn't help but assume that it was my fault, that's where my mind first went. Can you blame me?

Malfoy kept avoiding eye contact and rested his hand on his knees that curled into his chest, "No, these arseholes did some spell."

I didn't say a word. I processed instead. 

After all those years of torment, even Malfoy never hit that level of low. To cast some spell or curse that nobody could possibly figure out without a ton of research? It must be eating alive at him, possibly quite literally. I didn't recognize it, nothing seemed familiar about the symptoms, but I still felt like I should try anything I've picked up over the years. 

"Don't say anything, I know the irony." He faked a snort and smiled through the pain. It hurt to see him like that, despite our past. 

I sat forward and onto my knee's holding my hand out, "Can I.."

When I reached for his hand he pulled back and stared in confusion. I watched his eyes softly though, hoping the eye contact would be reassuring enough so I didn't have to use words. Words make it awkward. 

"No you twit, don't-"

"Malfoy." I sat back. "I think I can help. You're probably not getting a lot of that so let me."

He looked hurt, but I think accepted my response because he had been harsh for so long, me being harsh just once was probably enough for him to give in. 

He reached his arm forward and let me see closely, just watching. 

I pulled my wand out and mentally went over a list. I chose the safest I could use. 

"Finite incantatem.." I spoke quietly. 

The bumps blurred into nonexistence and the bruises faded slowly, leaving the serpent. I didn't comment on it, I figured he wouldn't want me to. 

Carefully, I sat back and against the wall, sighing relief when he didn't get angered I knew what to do. He's always got angry when I did something right. I don't know why. 

"This doesn't make things cool between us, by the way." He spat, but calmly. 

"I didn't expect it to anyways." 

He eyed me, "I never thanked you for saving my life, that day. I..well- it meant- I appreciated it. Thank you." 

Surprised, I cocked an eyebrow and smiled, "Must've been hard for you."

"Alright," Draco stood, "we're done here. Quit walking in on me, Potter. I'll make you regret it."

"Empty threats, Malfoy, empty threats." I answered just loud enough for him to hear as he walked out the doors. 

I simply sighed. 

Now for books, the real reason I came here.

~

The next few days were quiet. Occasionally I'd catch people messing with Malfoy, and here and there would mind my business but sometimes I'd set their shoelaces on fire to scare them. 

It didn't mean anything to Draco that I helped, in fact I don't even think he knew it was me. But I've been in his shoes, nobody helps except my friends. 

Not that we're friends, I just figured he could use the slight anonymous help. 

Ron and I were in our room studying for some potions test, Hermione was late but she had to sneak around, we're at the age where teachers get suspicious of girls being in our room, even if there are a bunch of other guys and they know we've been friends with Hermione since the start. 

But anyways, we were studying and getting frustrated when Hagrid popped his head in. 

"Harry, I need to talk to 'yer." 

I hesitantly set my books down at Ron's feet and walked over, where Hagrid practically dragged me into the hall. 

"You used forbidden magic when the death eater attacked you."

I blinked, not saying anything. Okay? I panicked! Give me a break. I've been through absolute hell recently, and it slipped. 

"There's a reason it's banned, if the ministry finds out–and its likely they will–you'll get expelled." He added, a strict voice. 

He's usually never strict, so I stared at my feet. The ministry would fire him if they found out he kept this from them. 

"I killed Voldemort, my heads been all over the place, Hagrid I swear it was on accident it just slipped and-" 

"Relax, I have a job for you and the ministry doesn't have to find out."

"Really sir, what is it?!" I exclaimed excitedly, because it was good to have an offer like this. Most teachers don't think twice. 

"A detention, of some sort. I'm going away, for a bit, the ministry suspects I'm hiding mystical banned creatures in my home. I need 'yer to-"

"You aren't, are you sir?"

Hagrid coughed and looked away and checked behind him, "Do you still have that cloak, 'arry?"

I nodded. 

~

"This is not what I had in mind when you said detention of sorts." 

I stared at the..half cricket half bat half cat? I don't know what it was but I stared. 

"That's what the last one said. I need you to hide it if the ministry sends someone, it doesn't make noise, if you feed it. It's a-"

"No offense sir, but I'd really rather not know what it is. I'll do it." 

Hagrid pat my back, "Thanks lad."

And as it turns out, I never figured out what it was called and I'm glad. Every chance I had free time, I went down to Hagrid's and watched the cross..creature. I was gonna say breed but it's not even the same species. 

I even skipped some classes for it, claiming I was 'sick'. I wasn't. I don't usually get sick but for Hagrid I do I guess. 

I was studying in his house, while multitasking in a way and feeding the weird thing as well just so it didn't start screaming at me. It was loud when it was upset. 

While I sat, I could hear footsteps. I had threw the cloak over the creature and quickly stood in a panic, peeking through the window. 

It was a bright blonde boy, no teacher. I realized it was Malfoy and rolled my eyes, I didn't think I'd have to see him again. 

Aside from helping him when someone messes with him, I really couldn't care less about him and I feel Hagrid set this up. He knew I was helping Malfoy, he's been keeping an eye on me. I've caught him watching before. 

Since I used the banned magic he's been watching, at least until now. 

I went to go open the door but he pulled his wand out and unlocked it himself, opening the door without a single sign of struggle. 

"Potter??" He groaned, "Just what I needed, you sitting around and trying to make small talk."

"What're you doing, Malfoy?" I watched as he shut the door and plopped down in the nearest seat, fumbling with his wand. 

He scoffed, "Same as you, genius. 'Detention' as he called it. Where's the ugly mug?" 

Once I processed what was going on, I kneeled down and pulled back the cloak for him to see, "Hagrid asked I brought my cloak."

Draco rolled his eyes but stood quickly after and started rummaging through Hagrid's belongings. I didn't want to comment, but nothing about what he was doing felt necessary. 

"What're you doing?" I asked again, this time with a blank expression. 

He simply sighed, "Hagrid supposedly took something that belonged to my dad, the night of the battle with Voldemort and Hogwarts. It was a potion, it was rare. And dangerous. One of a kind. My dad asked me to fetch it, so I punched this kid in the nose after his shoelaces caught on fire, got myself detention."

I nodded and didn't question him further, until I realized he mentioned his dad. Then I turned, "I- Wait I thought-" I ignored his harsh stare when he stopped picking up the scattered objects and throwing them to the side. "Your dad and Voldemort were like- I mean you know I don't believe that you had a choice in all this but it's awfully suspicious-"

Draco didn't like my rambling. If I was gonna confront him I should've said what was on my mind. 

So, he grabbed my shirt and twisted it, pulling me close so we were inches apart, "Don't accuse me of such, Potter." He spat. "I'm getting it for my dad because the last guy who took a small sip of it died immediately, I'm protecting Hagrid. Don't you ever accuse me of working with Voldemort, willingly."

When everyone else did, he let them. When I did, he didn't. He was more comfortable with me, which is saying a lot because we hate each other, but me saying that might've hurt. 

My mind is open, I see through a lot and usually there isn't confusion anymore, but gosh this confused me. 

I held my breath.

Malfoy let the words linger, and the tension thicken before he dropped me and went back to searching the house. 

I watched for a few more seconds, and then finally just sat down and frowned at the weird creature, he stared back at me like a lost puppy. 

It had the wings and face of a bat and a body and tail of a cat and then legs of a cricket, but somehow the face was growing on me. It was kind of cute, once it calmed down after about an hour of yelling at me for not feeding it enough treats. 

"Does it kill everyone instantly?" I asked, a little quieter and softer tone than I intended but I didn't want him getting upset and doing that again. 

Draco stopped and turned his head slightly, but not enough to face me, just the side, "It has a different effect for everyone, but instant death is the most common."

"Was it your dads? Or does he just want it."

"Both, But he made it for Voldemort, not to use on, but he's dead now so, yeah. It was actually gonna be used on-" he stopped and tensed, but softly turned and his eyes met with my own, "You, it was gonna be used on you. That was my purpose. That's the part I played in all this. I never went through with it though."

I nodded slowly. What, was I supposed to thank him for admitting he didn't kill me even when that was his whole purpose? No, I prefer the silence. 

Draco forced a laugh, but it could've fooled anyone, but I know the difference between fake and real. He cocked an eyebrow, "I'm not back here to use it on you because I failed the first time, Potter. You idiot. Everything I've said is true. I'm back because I want to be. Voldemort is dead. Your only issue is death eaters."

"And I'm just supposed to kill them all, then?" My sarcasm was quite clear but Malfoy ignored me to keep looking. 

He didn't want to comment, he used to be a death eater so it's like, killing his associates. I don't want to use the word family, that would offend him. Even if it's mentally.

A silence settled, Malfoy took advantage of it and kept looking. 

I watched closely, only because if it is everything he says it is, then I want to see it close up. It should get destroyed, not delivered to his dad. But whatever, it's his dad after all. I trust he won't give it to someone who will use it. Hopefully. 

Finally, he picked up some small bottle with blue liquid inside it, smiling to himself. 

But I tensed and pointed my wand, "Accio bottle!"

Draco gasped when the bottle went flying at me after I caught it. He stared as I examined it. 

"Give it back Potter." The boy demanded with a strict tone, but I sat back and continued studying its features. 

"This tiny liquid was supposed to kill me instantly?" 

He rolled his eyes, "If you don't believe me be my guest, bet it still works."

Startled from his response, I handed it back and he snatched it harshly, turning his back and ignoring any attempt I'd make at another conversation. 

However, I tried anyway. 

"The death eaters, suspecting Voldemort being alive, is that true?"

Asking seemed to cross a line, judging by Draco's dumbfounded expression, but there's no going back now so I just awaited a response. 

"He's dead, quit it with your questions. I already said he was dead."

I gave a sheepish smile, "Sorry. I just figured you'd have some answers."

Malfoy rolled his eyes again, I swear he does that so much. "No, Potter, Voldemort is not alive. He is not living inside your body. Yes this potion instantly kills, or occasionally curses someone for a lifetime and has no loophole. My dad is still a death eater, and I no longer speak with him now that I'm seventeen, and no, I do not want to be your friend." His tone was harsh. "Don't think I don't see you helping when people mess with me. It's karma, and I can handle myself. The kind gestures imply care and trust me you should not care, so quit it. I can hold my own."

"From day one I said we aren't bloody friends!" I raised my voice but smiled slightly, "Malfoy I'm not trying to be your friend. You don't have anybody right now, doesn't it feel good to know someone's on your side?"

He avoided my eyes, staring at the cracks in the floor and possibly memorizing them to avoid answering. Eventually time caught up and he forced a smile to hide his frown, "If it's you who's on my side, no it doesn't feel good. You're just this delusional kid who is known as 'the boy who lived'."

"Wrong, But I accept the answer." I murmured and spread my legs, staring, "Just know, the offer is there. If you need someone-"

"If you don't stop it with that rubbish I'm going to punch your face in."

"-if you need someone, I exist. You know you put me through a ton of shit if I haven't been through what I have I wouldn't have the guts to talk to you. So when I say-"

I should've listened because seconds later he grabbed my shirt again and straddled me, punching my jaw repeatedly. 

"I-" He gritted his teeth and watched as my face slowly swelled, "told..you..to..stop."

When he finally stopped, a slight smile grew on my face when I elbowed his gut and pushed him on the floor, deciding against kicking him in the face like that one time he did to me. I was snooping, it's understandable. 

My eye hurt, but I nodded to myself when he looked at me after a short groan, "Despite that, the offer still stands. Doesn't have to be as friends."

"I'm not hiding behind Harry bloody Potter. I don't need you to defend me." 

"That's not what I mean. All I'm saying is you don't have to be alone. It must be a new low, for you, right? Figured you could use someone right now."

Draco didn't answer and just narrowed his eyes to the floor, fumbling with his fingers. He must've felt as if I were insulting him by offering a hand, I felt bad immediately after. 

I wiped the blood off my face from the cut he gave me and rubbed my left under eye, it was definitely gonna bruise. Ugh. I should've went for his face for payback. 

Before it could even get silent, we heard footsteps from outside and muffled voices. 

In a panic, Malfoy and I made eye contact and then scurried onto our feet and threw the cloak onto the creature. 

We'd get in trouble for being in here, but they'd question us if we were in here for no reason. 

"There's no where to hide- this oaf needs to clean its horrid in here-" Draco yelped when I grabbed his wrist and shoved him onto Hagrid's couch. 

I made sure to grab a tissue as quick as I could and handed it to him carefully, whispering, "Here."

He was confused but when I sat down next to him he got the idea, bringing his hands up to my face. One to hold my cheek, the other to get the blood off with the tissue. 

Our eyes met nervously as the door clicked open and a few people–probably from the ministry–waltzed in. 

"Potter? Malfoy? What is this?" The woman asked, a hard stare. 

We turned to her quickly and hesitated, but I spoke up quicker than Draco could. 

"We got in a fight- like with these other kids and this was the nearest place. I-"

"Get back to school grounds, now." Another said, one I didn't recognize, "I don't want to hear excuses. Someone will come by to discuss your two's punishment. Breaking and entering."

Did the fight excuse not even matter to her?

Malfoy and I shared a look before slowly pulling away and walking past them and up the hill. 

Once we were far enough, we sighed relief.

Nothing else was said, the eye contact was too much and even I knew that, we both reached our socializing limit I suppose and went back to our rooms. 

Oh boy. 

~


	2. Chapter 2

Let's just say that's the last time I offered a truce with my enemy. 

Getting punched? Not the best reaction but if we're being fair he warned me. And I got him back. 

My face was slightly bruised and every time Ron asked about it I simply answered with 'I tripped' and he'd question why Draco and I were making eye contact almost every time we saw each other, and we only did that because our minds were racing and who was on who's mind? You know the answer. 

When I looked at Malfoy all these questions run through my head, and I think it's the same with him otherwise he wouldn't stare back. 

Maybe it's an excuse, because it feels like one when I tell Ron that we're just thinking hard. I'm about the only person who hasn't been mean to him since his return, even Hermione has sent him strident stares before and usually she doesn't bother with him unless he's messing with me. Ron just glares but nothing more. 

I've seen a lot of people–even teachers–give him cold looks or frown upon him or push him around. And what's he supposed to do? Defend himself when the whole school would hate him for trying? He doesn't have much of a choice people are too sensitive. 

There hasn't been more attacks, yet. I don't want to jinx it, because frankly I don't feel prepared for any whatsoever. 

Ron and I were eating and joking around, Hermione joining in occasionally but she was just admiring our expressions and laughs half the time. 

She appreciates these moments, I've always caught her smiling with her fond look she was trying to force away, which never works but she tried. 

It was more at Ron, though. I'm glad they finally got together because it was taking far too long. 

Ron knows about Ginny and I, despite me avoiding her absolutely any chance I get, he didn't mind. 

I mean, he'd mind for sure if he knew I was avoiding, I just dont feel stable trying to maintain our relationship. 

Yes, she's the girl of my dreams. But it makes the pit of my stomach ache every time I think about it, makes me want to vomit at the thought of a future, literally, and not in an insulting way. 

She had asked me to meet her in the boys bathroom at midnight, because she knew something was up. That's all she said, probably wanted to talk about how I've been different. A conversation I've already had with Ron and Hermione. 

People don't take the hint, I don't want to talk about it. 

The whole time I was talking with my friends, I could feel someone's eyes. I knew who that someone was, a certain blonde boy. 

I didn't want to turn around because if I did, he'd feel embarrassed that I caught his eyes. I was afraid Ron would turn to see who I was looking at if I returned the stare, and tell Draco to piss off, so I kept my eyes on Ron with a forced smile. 

He was pretty much zoned out, everyone was except Draco. 

If he was staring, I wanted to assume he was considering my offer. 

Sucks we're in different houses though, but nonetheless the offer stands. 

"Harry!" Ron exclaimed, angrily. 

My eyes landed on him immediately and I bit my lip, giving him a sheepish smile and in return I received a frown, "Lad, I've only been explaining how Ginny wants you to talk to her. She's mentioned your avoidance and I swear if you bloody hurt her I-"

"Ron-" Hermione interrupted but I shook my head at her, waiting for the boy to continue but he didn't and exhaled sharply. 

"I've been avoiding everyone, she shouldn't take it personally. I'll get it together, I promise."

He sent a satisfied look and turned to Hermione, who seemed like she was ready to lecture him. 

Somehow she always knew when the right time was, she must've been able to tell I was deep in my thoughts. And I was, because I was fighting the urge to look at Malfoy's soft eyes. 

Finally, I did though. Mine met with his and I swear his cheeks got slightly flustered but it was hard to tell. 

"Stop staring." I mouthed, giving a fake glare but he actually smiled slightly, only to purse his lips and turn back to his book he had. 

He still had been receiving all kinds of stares, it upset me. 

My stare lingered for a moment, but when I was about to look away he looked up with an annoyed–yet amused–face, getting up and watching me as he left the room. 

I got the hint and turned to Ron quickly, "I've got to use the loo I'll be right back mate."

He nodded as I got up and Hermione went right back to lecturing him as I rushed out to find the back of Draco rushing into the bathroom. 

When I stepped inside, there was a wand against my throat and I walked into the wall, staring with wide eyes. 

"You're following and staring like a lost puppy, why?"

I smiled slightly, "You were staring first, why?"

"I asked first." When he cocked an eyebrow, I just rolled my eyes and pushed his wand away, causing him to laugh slightly. 

"I've gone bloody mad, having to resort to talking to Harry Potter, just so I don't crave interaction, gosh." 

I snickered quietly and watched him pace. He wanted to talk to me, and I didn't mind that. I mean yeah there were insults thrown into the mix but I felt that was normal. 

"Why're you even bothering? That's my question. I'm a dick to you, always have been. Why the sudden interest?" Draco finally asked. 

I'd been waiting for that one. 

"Because," I swallowed and prepared myself, the answer I had thought of before, "you have nobody, it's not like talking to me will ruin the reputation you have, Voldemort ruined that not me. That and I don't like seeing you alone, as sappy as it is."

Draco just rolled his eyes, "I don't need your pity, Potter."

"I know."

We got a little silent. It seemed to happen a lot when I didn't want to push and Malfoy only spoke when I did push. 

I sighed after deciding I didn't want it to be silent, "Since your stares have no meaning whatsoever, can I make the assumption you're cons-"

"No, we aren't friends."

"So you want to talk to me but we aren't friends?"

"I don't want to talk to you, at all."

"Then why are you right now? Wanting me to follow you to talk?"

"Because I-" 

Draco didn't finish that and he briskly turned away to groan in frustration, "Would you just quit it?"

I didn't respond and tapped my foot. 

Quit it..and accept it as it is? 

He doesn't admit things easily, which leaves me to make assumptions he doesn't like. What the hell am I supposed to do, right?

But I can't speak my mind because he doesn't want me to, so I stayed silent as he paced and thought hard about what my offers were. Or at least I think.

No assumptions, I'm gonna keep that in mind. 

"You look like you wanna get something off your chest." I spoke up after a long silence of him just pacing and running his hand through his hair. If I didn't know better I'd say he was having some sort of mental attack, but I've seen Ginny have one I don't want to think it's the same for everyone but that's where I am. 

Mental health has never really got to me, and I know I'm lucky for that but apparently I only know luck, considering what I've been through I've had a fair go with it. 

Malfoy's head shot up in my direction for a split second, but then he just turned away and shook his head. 

"Do you remember that one day?" Draco–who stared like a scared scrawny puppy–turned to face me, as if he was being considerate of how I felt about what he was asking, which was extremely unusual because this is Draco we're talking about. He crossed his arms, "When you almost killed me? And Snape interrupted? What was that?"

I froze. The slight smile I had quickly faded, and was not planning on a return. That was the one thing I had hoped would never get brought up. It felt as if that were my darkest moment, and I hate that it happened. I wish I could go back and make it so it never happened. 

His eyes didn't leave my frozen self for a second, he was waiting and he was not going to accept any other answer except for the truth. 

"I...was messing..with some very...dark stuff.." I swallowed the lump and nodded, finally meeting his eyes. "It's over with."

"That dark stuff almost had me killed, if it weren't for Snape-"

"I swear to you–on my life–that it was never my intention. Draco I mean that with all the emotion I am capable of, I'm sincerely sorry that I did that and that it happened, I regret it daily." Although I never bring it up–and who would, it's seriously my darkest moment–it doesn't mean I'm not haunted by it. 

I'm scared that I'm capable of that. That I could just do that to Draco and would not get a second chance to make it right, if it weren't for Snape of course. It was over within seconds, I had almost killed Draco, and I hated that. 

It was one thing to be capable of that, but another to do it purposely without knowing the possible outcome of it. And another for Malfoy to have to go through that. 

He must-

"I can't help but think about it, you know?" He looked angered, but that was okay, he never really got to acknowledge this and I didn't either, so I was okay with his response. "Every time I look at you I see that boy, Harry Potter, the one who nearly killed me without a second thought. I wanted to be your friend since the start, but I'm me and you're you, it would've never happened. But even now, I look at you and see that. The day just replays in my head all the time, everything I go through is always somehow tied to you, why is that?"

We shared the same hurt look, he was looking for answers meanwhile I needed some type of closure. 

"I don't know." My tone was soft, had a small hint of guilt, if I had any left to express that is. And trust me I think I did. "It haunts me too, knowing I was capable of that. It's terrifying how one mistake can ruin everything, in less than five seconds my whole life was different because I almost killed you. If Snape hadn't got there I don't know what I would've done, honestly."

After a few moments, Draco coughed and nodded to himself, "I'm done with this dramatic confrontation, you know why we can't be friends. I'm fine on my own, I don't need you to hide behind."

When he tried to push past me he stopped for a second and caught my eyes, but frowned and sighed when continuing forward. 

Yeah, you could say I'm a little messed up after that. I never thought I'd have to talk about it, especially not with him. 

And the fact that he would rather stay alone than just talk with me despite our differences says he's afraid, and that makes me afraid because if I'm capable of getting Malfoy afraid after everything, what else am I capable of, right?

Anyways, I feel our weird thing is over. If I try to be nice he'll fire back with something rude. I have a good feeling, that's what I want to assume at least. 

Finally I went back to my friends, receiving a suspicious stare from Ron but I ignored it because what Draco said had me..a little shaken up, honestly. 

No one dares to confront someone about their dark past when they've moved on from it, but in a way I'm glad he brought it up, it gives us closure, it's not just a haunting memory now, maybe for him at least. 

I didn't join their conversation, I sat to the side and fumbled with my thumbs. 

Malfoy never went back to his seat. He must've went back to his room, to just recharge and process I suppose. That's what I want to assume. 

But suddenly, the windows broke, glass shattered everywhere and landed on the tables, some people maybe even getting cut by it. The room erupted in screams and a sudden smokey darkness filled the front of the room. 

I reached for my wand, but stopped when a face finally formed. I recognized her. 

I don't know her name, but I recognized her. She was a death eater. I forgot it. 

"Bellatrix." Ron whispered. 

My eyes widened, "I thought your mum killed her-"

"Malfoy." The woman yelled, and in the process managed to block every attack any adult threw at her. She seemed too powerful for anyone to stop whatever this was. 

If it were an attack someone would be dead already. 

"Draco Malfoy." She added, watching everyone's heads turn to where he should've been sitting. I'm glad he wasn't there anymore. "Where is he?"

Ron's eyes landed on me, "You were just with him."

I blinked, "No I wasn't-"

"We saw you head out the same way he did after staring, Harry where is he?" Hermione grabbed my hand in a panic when the lady walked closer to us when she noticed me. 

"Harry Potter," Bellatrix grinned deviously, leaning down as the smoke disappeared and she now appeared as if she were actually here in the flesh rather than some ghost. "I don't suppose you know where Malfoy is? After all you two seem to have a thing, him protecting you like that? Tell me where he is and.."–her eyes landed on Ron–"your friend here doesn't get hurt."

She giggled when I gave a furious stare, "Absolutely bloody not you insane psychopathic t-" 

Bellatrix grabbed Ron's ear, "Now, Potter."

I shook my head and panicked, I couldn't use my wand, I'd get in trouble so I turned to Hermione, but she shook her head and gestured. "He was in the dungeons last I knew."

Once she let go, Ron winced. 

"He's hiding," her eyes rolled as she groaned, "Well, I've always enjoyed a classic game of hide and seek, Harry do you want to join-"

Suddenly, a man–who I didn't recognize at all–came up behind her and shoved some liquid down her throat, catching her when her eyes rolled into the back of her head. 

He straightened his back, "Go back to what you were doing, we'll take care of this."

I waited for him to leave the room, before quickly standing and running down to the Slytherin hall, where I checked every room for Malfoy. 

Hermione tried following but Ron stopped her to let me do whatever trouble I was about to get into. I understood anyways. 

When I finally reached the end of the hall, hoping for Draco to be in the room, he appeared behind me with a confused expression, "Potter, Gryffindor is the other way. What're you doing-"

"Bellatrix Lestrange is looking for you." I stood still when his face dropped and looked like he were panicking as well. 

"What? I-" he didn't finish and started rushing down the hall while I followed. 

"Why's she looking for you? I thought it was sorted and-"

"They all think I abandoned them, that I stopped believing in the dark lord. But how can you stop believing in someone you never truly believed in? She's come to take me back, probably did something to my father. I have to go-"

"Where would you go?" 

Draco ignored me and kept briskly walking, he knew if someone caught him running they'd suspect he was up to something, like leaving the school. Nobody would allow that. 

"Malfoy seriously where would you go?" I raised my voice, but cautiously. He was panicking, I didn't want to make it worse. 

He yelled, "London."

I stopped walking with him for a second, furrowing my eyebrows, "Are you an idiot?!"

Malfoy stopped and turned, watching me harshly, "Hogwarts is nowhere near stable at this point, you're telling me they'd protect me? I-"

He paused, a frown washing over. Malfoy was hesitant, I wanted to hear what he had to say. 

"I..betrayed the school, some people who didn't deserve it, I've-" His words just cut off immediately, because he probably thought even he was going to tell me. I had an idea what he wanted to say, but I didn't want to assume. "I've done things no student should have to. But because of what happened, this school would happily let me get taken to probably be executed, so yes, you arse, London. I can protect myself."

"No you bloody can't?!" I almost laughed, "You? Versus what? Hundreds of death eaters? No! You can't! Fool!"

He scoffed, "Insult me again,"–Malfoy walked closer–"because I did not come back here to be insulted. Call me a traitor, call me an idiot, anything you want but I'm no fool, I know what I'm doing. You haven't been through half of what I have, don't try it."

"You realize you're comparing your problems to Harry Potter's, right? Some weird bald guy without a nose and wrinkly skin made it his life's mission to murder me and ruined an entire school and killed a bunch of my friends in the process do not go comparing. We've all had rough go's." I crossed my arms, because I was annoyed. I'm not one to one-up people, but Draco wasn't listening, if I had to hurt him more just to get him to use common sense–for whatever reason I wanted him to–then so be it. He'll get over it. 

He stared, maybe even his eye twitching. Yeah, get annoyed, but you're still here so it worked. 

"It's not an insult saying you can't handle yourself, you've been through enough to know what to do, but that doesn't mean you're capable of doing it, especially alone." I tried, again. After he said nothing I was unsure what to do so I kept going. 

Instead of agreeing, he turned and started walking while furiously shaking his head, "You have some nerve, Potter."

I groaned and started following again, "Even I couldn't do it alone!"

"You see," he kept walking, eyeing me from the side, "the difference between you and I is the world wouldn't let you do it alone, they'd insist they help. Nobody is insisting or offering. Whether I want to be or not, I'm alone here. I don't trust anyone in this school, not after everything."

I stopped walking, shocked he'd admit that. He's not one to admit something that made him look like a loner. I think he's afraid of being alone. I've seen enough recently to figure that. 

So, I bit my lip and debated it, he was still walking so I had to decide now or never. "I'll help."

Draco stopped and slowly turned, just watching me blankly. 

I went closer, "I'm offering, okay? If I were in your shoes I'd want help, so I'll offer. I insist you take my help."

For a moment, he seemed to consider it. But he ended up laughing and turning back around, "You're pathetic, stop sympathizing. I have to go."

"It's not sympathy! Hell, you're so stubborn would you stop turning away?!?" I groaned, running in front of him and backwards because he didn't stop, "If anything you deserve what's happening but am I pointing that out no-"

"-out of sympathy."

"No! Not out of sympathy! Think for once! I'm offering help and for someone who was practically forbidden to live, I'm still here. I can help!"

"You only want to help because you almost killed me, you want redemption. Look elsewhere, I don't need your desperate attempts annoying me."

I rolled my eyes, "Take advantage of it then! I want redemption, and you need help! We're practically fighting the same battle; Death Eaters."

I watched as he shoved past me angrily but also in a hurry still, turning down the hallway that I was all too familiar with.

It was the room of requirement, Draco waited for the door to show, and when it did he ignored me following and went inside it. 

"You can't go to London!"

Finally, he stopped walking and pulled a suit case out from behind a bookshelf. Soon, he acknowledged me, "I don't know why you're so bloody determined to keep me alive but I can guarantee you I don't need help."

"You had a suit case packed?" I chuckled, "That meant you knew they'd be coming for you. Which also means you're scared-"

"-it means I'm prepared."

"No, you're scared. Let me help." I went to grab his suit case but he dropped it to the floor and walked close to me, putting his pointer finger on my chest. 

His expression intimidated me in the moment, he looked so annoyed he'd do anything to get me away from him. But he simply made an empty threat, "You're the last person I'd team up with and turn to for help. Go back to getting praised and being the privileged dickhead you are, I can't stay here."

"Fine," I pursed my lips and shook my head, "but I'm still helping. We go to London. Then what?"

"My father has a safe house for situations like this. I have a key. It's hidden with magic, but if they're really determined they can find me."

"Us. They can find us."

Malfoy sent a piercing glare because I corrected him, but I raised my eyebrows and he dropped it because my smug grin. 

"You aren't going. You'll die, and I'm not gonna protect you. This school will hate me more than they already do for letting their beloved Harry Potter die."

"You don't have to protect me, I'd protect you-"

"I don't need your protection, for the last time!"

"-I'd help keep you alive, and come up with plans. Fighting our battle, it's like killing two birds with one stone. We have a common enemy. Teaming up is reasonable, not just because I need redemption."

It was quite clear why I wanted to help, I don't need to explain. I truly wanted redemption, because the memory of him laying on the ground bleeding out haunts me. And if I can make things right between us somehow, I'd feel redeemed. 

If that makes any sense. 

To be fair I was just rolling with it. 

Malfoy must've been too because he finally rolled his eyes, shoving past me, "Fine, but we are going to London. Pack now. Weasley and Granger don't get to know where we're going. They'll end up coming and you're already bad enough as it is."

I nodded my head because what else did you want me to say? I wasn't gonna defend them, he puts up a good fight so I've learned not to. 

We stared at each other for a second, "Go!"

"Its not very reassuring having me go alone. What's to stop you from leaving on your own?"

"Guess you'll just have to trust me."

"You don't even trust me."

"You're right, I don't," He nodded too, "meet down at Hagrid's, we can't leave in plain sight."

We stared at each other for another second, but I nodded and didn't say another word, rushing towards my room. 

When I got there Hermione and Ron were sitting on his bed, he was holding her and they seemed worried. 

It's understandable, I mean there was an 'attack' on the school. You'd think everyone would be used to it by now, but really no one is. 

The second they saw me they broke apart and Hermione shot up, "Harry! Where'd you go?! We were worried."

I awkwardly grabbed my suit case out from under my bed, I didn't want to waste any time because I knew Draco would get impatient. So, I forced a smile as I opened it, hoping they wouldn't comment but I knew they would. 

"Harry.." Hermione added, "Why..?"

Then, I opened my drawers, letting them piece it together. 

"Where are you going?" Ron stood up with her, just as hurt and confused. 

I cleared my throat, "Redemption," I answered weakly. I felt bad. 

"What?" Hermione went over and shut the drawer with my clothes in it, "Explain!"

"I can't, I just- I have to go. And don't try stopping me, or joining. You can't come along, and I'm not gonna beat myself up if one of you die because of me. So stay." I opened the drawer and shoved the very few clothes I had into the case, along with the three pairs of shoes. 

Ron shook his head and grabbed the suit case, throwing the shoes to the side, "No! You can't possibly expect us to let you walk out that door without an explanation!"

I stared for a second, "I'm going to London. You have my phone number, we'll keep in touch. I'll explain when I can but I'm going and you guys are staying. You're safe here-"

"And so are you!" Hermione raised her voice but her face painted over with guilt when she saw me wince, "I'm sorry- it's just, you walk in here like nothing happened and say you're leaving to redemption."

My expression stayed blank and I started shoving things back into the case, "I'll explain later. I'll call you."

I placed a hand on each Ron and Hermione's shoulder, smiling, "I love you guys, ya know."

"Okay, you're getting sappy." She crossed her arms, "You're heading to your death, where?"

I groaned, "I'm not putting myself in any more danger than I already am. I'll keep in touch," 

With that, I rushed out, I couldn't put up with any more. Sure maybe it was harsh, up and leaving, but I had to. 

I was desperate to fix this with Malfoy, and everything worked out so me going with isn't just to be redeemed, but because we have a common enemy, because we'll work better together than we would alone. And if that meant leaving behind the two I care about? I'd do it because I'm not putting them in danger. 

Quickly, I rushed down the hill where I saw Draco leaning against the fence, when finally he saw me and sighed relief, "You took forever."

"And you're still here." 

"Don't flatter yourself, I'm a man of my word."

I just nodded, "Hermione and Ron wouldn't let me leave without knowing what was up. I didn't tell them but eventually I'll have to."

"You're pathetic, all three of you. Your love and affection for each other will get you all killed."

He opened his case and grabbed a folded pair of black clothes, "We have to change. Can't go around the muggle world wearing a robe with a tie."

He went into Hagrid's house and didn't say another word. I figured he was changing, so I just changed outside. I already had jeans on, I just needed a shirt and jacket which I luckily had, somewhere in the rubbish I call clothes. 

I folded the robe and set it to the side as I tried to find the shirt I wanted. I had found the black leather jacket, because it's considered 'cool' with muggles, stylish, so I always looked forward to wearing it. 

Malfoy came back out in a fully black tight suit, buttoning the buttons on his wrists while looking at me, "Hurry up and get a shirt on. If someone saw this they'd get the wrong impression."

I squinted, "Don't say that, otherwise I'll have to picture it." And then, I slipped my shirt and jacket on, fixing my hair. 

"Knowing you I bet you'd enjoy picturing it."

When I sent him a glare, he backed off and pulled his wand out, offering his hand. 

I stared for a second, confused. 

When finally, Draco rolled his eyes and reached even closer, "Come on you twit."

I grabbed his hand because I didn't want to upset him more, when suddenly everything swirled and I felt my stomach drop, and my head started to pound. 

It's the thing Dumbledore used to do, I wasn't familiar with it but I recognized it. I wasn't too fond of it, not my favorite way to travel. 

Finally, it was over. What was actually two seconds felt like an hour of sickness. 

We were in an alleyway, when finally the cold air hit my face, nipping at my skin. One thing I loved about Hogwarts is the weather was never this annoying. I hate London, even though I also love it. 

We were taking in our surroundings, when finally Draco pulled his hand back after coming back to reality, clearing his throat, "Okay, safe house is five blocks away. Come on."

I followed closely behind him until we got to the side walk and stood to his left, "I say we have a week or so before Bellatrix gets out, she'll immediately be coming for us. The safe house will only work for so long."

"Until I figure out how to handle them, the safe house."

"We." I corrected again, "We figure it out."

This time he didn't comment and just sighed with a hint of annoyance, but continued, "We have to kill. It's us or them, I'm not a suck up so someone's gonna die and it's not gonna be me."

"I call Bellatrix." I murmured, I still hated that woman with a burning passion. So much that every time I think about that night, my entire body fills with rage and it gets out of control. 

There's a dark side to me and my magic, Draco unfortunately has come face to face with that side of me. 

But I feel it, there's a darkness in me and I hate it. It's like a battle every single day of my life just trying to contain it. It's only bad if I let it be, but I have control, for now. 

Draco snorted, sarcastically, "Everyone thinks you're so innocent, that the blood on your hands were to protect yourself. I call bull."

I ignored him, just turning the corners when he did and gritting my teeth. 

"You're so desperate to kill, for revenge. There's nothing redeemable in you, you're far too gone."

"No one ever said I was innocent. How you decide to take my mistakes is your choice, but don't base your opinion off the day."

He eyed me slightly but shook his head and exhaled softly, "I'm not dying for you, during any of this. If it's you or me, I choose me."

"I'm not dying for you either."

"This is temporary." He added, when finally we came to a stop in front of a small shop, "This is it."

I looked at the sign. "A..candle shop?"

He sent a smug grin, "You didn't think a safe house would be an actual house, did you?"

I gave a slight crooked smile as I followed him inside. It reeked of pumpkin, I assumed it was because they had a fall collection maybe. 

The two of us easily walked into the back room without getting stopped, nobody paid attention to us. 

Draco then waved his wand at the wall, a door appearing. He smirked slightly, thinking it was impressing me or summat and opened the door to reveal stairs going up. 

"Ladies first."

I gave him a sarcastic smile and dropped it the second I passed him. 

When I got upstairs, I saw an old dusty room. It looked as if it were like a one bedroom apartment that was extremely cheap because nobody wanted it. 

Hey, I don't judge. But I wasn't sure what I had been expecting really. 

"I don't know what's happened to my father, whether he's dead or alive but if Bellatrix came after me, makes me assume something happened to him." He frowned slightly, "But this was his place, nobody can see us from the outside, you have to be a Malfoy to get the door to show anyways. So you can't leave on your own, I'd have to come with you. The bathroom's down the hall, you can see the kitchen, and there's only one bed. Big enough for two, but you are sleeping on the couch, blankets in the closet."

He started walking towards the hall as I eyed the thin ugly looking couch and cringed, "Pillows at least?"

"Use a blanket!"

When he turned the corner, I rolled my eyes and plopped down. Its not too bad, could be worse. I could feel the wood through the cushion, it made my back hurt just thinking about sleeping on it. At this point the microwave would be more comfortable. 

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and scrolled through my camera roll, sighing at the picture I have of my parents. 

Times when I feel low I just have to look at it, it reassures me that I'll manage just fine, for some reason. I feel like after everything I've been through I always manage just fine and it's the memory of my parents that motivates me. 

Soon Draco came out from the room and sat down next to me, since it was the only place he could sit. Not even the table had chairs. 

He ignored the picture I had pulled up and reached over to click the phone off. "Once they figure out I'm not at the school, Bellatrix will go searching for you, and when she realizes you aren't there, she'll naturally assume we're with each other. And they'll start hunting us down, have people watching all over London. Which means, you can't casually go into town. Being on the run means you keep running."

"How's this 'running'?" I gestured around us, which Draco took offense to. 

He stood and crossed his arms, "A magical safe house not good enough for your highness? Get an even lower quality hotel, you're old enough now."

"No- I didn't mean that. I mean sitting and not moving, this is waiting them out. We can't stay here forever, eventually they'll find us." My tone was easy and soft. I've been trying to keep the harshness to a minimum. 

And even more so now that he's allowed me to come with. 

"Like I said, I'm gonna figure out the plan first. If that means staying here for a little while? Then okay, but plans have to be well thought out and look at every potential scenario. Otherwise; tragedies happen."

When I gave him an annoyed stare, he softened and nodded, correcting himself, "We're gonna figure out the plan."

I nodded and set my phone to the side. I was trying to think, we were pretty unprepared, the fact that he's running right now says he's scared, and that's the last thing we need. 

He can't be scared, Bellatrix will sense that, take advantage of it. She'll nip at every last weakness and insecurity she finds until she has him on his knees and shaking. I won't let that happen, he's vulnerable, I used to be like him, until I was put through so much trauma I stopped reacting to it. 

You think the old me would jump at the chance to leave Hogwarts where I was safe to go on the run with my mortal enemy? No, I wouldn't. I only do now because all I can do is make up for my mistakes, that and I'm not afraid of death, not anymore. 

I know Ron and Hermione would be okay without me, they have each other, and I have no family besides them–obviously not by blood–so the thought of death doesn't phase me. I don't have anything or anyone to live for, not that I'm suicidal. 

Because I'm not, I'm not depressed either. I just don't react. Potential death courtesy of death eaters? I don't care, one day everything will catch up to me and I'll fight for as long as I can. 

But I can say I'll accept it when the time comes. 

"So we're just supposed to kill every last death eater? That's like? Hundreds?" I didn't know exactly how many there were, but it didn't sound reasonable. Us against like two hundred times us? Yes, because that's common sense. 

Draco side eyed me when going through the books on the bookshelf. They were old, probably important. I didn't ask. "Please, like you aren't up for it. You're not the innocent man you pretend to be."

"Nobody's pretending," Draco was ignoring me, my decision in defending myself, he didn't acknowledge it so I continued, "when you're associated with Voldemort I don't think you can come out of that innocent. We've all done things we aren't proud of. Whether you accept it or not is your choice."

I fished around, seeing if he reacted to that last bit. I remember, he almost killed Dumbledore. He almost went down a road he'd never come back from. I wish he'd admit it, or acknowledge it. That haunts me just as much as Draco's blood on my hands–literally–did. 

But, he only stopped for split second and then finally carried on, pulling a book out and opening it immediately, "My dad had a journal of his strategies. If I can study it maybe I'll have a better shot."

I didn't bother correcting him because I hardly paid attention to it, "You do that, I'm gonna go downstairs and smell candles because that's all I'm good for, apparently."

He nonchalantly waved me off when I opened the door. I had expected more than that, he wouldn't let me before because people could be watching or I couldn't get the door to show again, but really if he wasn't gonna pay attention to me, I'd take advantage of it. 

Do you know how long it's been since I've got the chance to go into London? Too long. 

When I successfully shut the door and Draco hadn't yelled my name in case he realized what I was doing, I smiled and rushed down the stairs and shoved my wand into the inside of my jacket, along with my phone.

I tried rushing out of the store, but when I got to the door, it was locked. 

Nobody was in it, just the cashier and she was a scrawny old lady. I glance at her, but she didn't even look my way. 

I groaned, trying again. 

I wanted to use my wand to figure it out, but even I wouldn't risk outing myself to an old lady. Who knows what old people are capable of nowadays, I hardly visit muggles so I don't know how much meaner they got. 

When I tried one more time, nothing happened, the bell just jiggled. I sighed, turning around to see Draco sitting on the counter where the cashier stood, "Yeah, you aren't going anywhere. I said we can't risk it. This woman can't see you either, perks of a magical safe house is as long as you're in it, nobody can see you. This shop is part of it."

I figured that was the case and leaned against the door, "I signed myself up for boredom and house arrest, lovely."

"Pretty much," Draco gestured behind him, "We gotta figure out a plan so we aren't unprepared, you're helping since you're so set on 'us'." 

Instead of arguing, I just nodded and followed behind him when he gave a satisfied fake smile. I've learned not to argue, it's better if I don't. 

Once we got upstairs, he set the book down on the coffee table in front of the couch and pointed, "I think the best plan is go in from behind instead of face to face. Something they wouldn't expect. They're expecting two kids to show up and give a pathetic fight and eventually lose. But if we go in as a death eater, they won't know."

"And what's to guarantee they don't recognize us?" 

"They have the masks, and hoods. And slowly we come up behind each and every single one, taking them out easily."

"Then what ensures Bellatrix to not find out. She'll expect an army of them, she'll know something is up if there's less and less each day."

"Go along with it? Wing it. Figure it out when we need to."

I sighed, it was the best he had and honestly wasn't a bad idea, just was risky. But what's not risky at this point. 

"I didn't let you come along to be told to wing it."

"Then, we don't go in as a death eater. We play the fear card." 

"Okay, we wait until they're on the streets, they'll be disguised as regular people so you'll have to figure out which ones are death eaters."

Draco nodded, "We have a week. Rest well."

I watched as he rushed down the hall and went into the bedroom, sighing and collapsing onto the couch.

Hermione texted me, asking me to call. I debated it, for a few minutes, but then deleted the message and eyed the hall. 

What was I supposed to say to her? That I'm with Draco who would happily let me die during this stupid redemption fantasy? No, I can't. I didn't have the guts to admit that I was an idiot and this redemption thing would get me killed. 

I made my way down the hall after a moment, peering into the bedroom where Draco stood in front of a mirror, fixing his hair but then noticed me, stopping. 

"What do you want, Potter?"

"This place has no food."

He took his eyes off me through the mirror and back on to him while straightening the suit out, "There's..bread. And crisps."

"Molded bread and extremely stale crisps." I leaned against the doorframe and frowned like a puppy, "Can't I just leave? We have time before they start come looking. I could go stock up on food-"

"With what money?" He chuckled, until he realized I didn't join in and stopped, turning, "What money?" He repeated. 

I stuck my hand in my pocket, pulling a fair amount out, "People felt they needed to reward me after Voldemort..a lot of people. I have enough to get some food." 

"Of course they did," Draco sighed, his hands hitting his hips and bounced as he walked past me, "Fine, I have to go though. Who knows where you'll wander to."

"Sounds like you're concerned." I said, only for Malfoy to scoff, "Yeah right. I'm going because I'm not checking every ten minutes to see if you're downstairs to let you back in."

I followed, "Can't you just add me to the charm?"

"No, this spell is years old, it would take me forever to figure it out. My dad knew a guy, and the man helped him go on the run before Voldemort finally caught up with him. My family has been associated with the dark lord ever since."

"And that's why you were pretty much forced into it?"

"Pretty much?!" He asked suddenly and angrily turned around before he could reach the door. 

My eyes widened and I shook my head, realizing I offended him, "No! Not like that, I know you were, I don't doubt it."

Draco eyed me with annoyance and narrowed his eyes, finally slowly looking away and back to the door, "If I have to deal with you and your choice of words or your choice of breathing for more than two weeks I'm gonna have to rip my hair out to cope with the frustration."

I didn't argue and just snorted, smiling. I didn't take offense, I already knew he wasn't fond of me. For some reason I found his response funny and yeah, I could take criticism. I've been doing it my whole life. 

Heck, nobody thought I'd live to see tomorrow the second Voldemort returned but look at me, returning to the battle with my arch nemesis and confidently letting him watch my sixth as if he wouldn't stab me himself and strut away proudly. 

I've just stopped caring and guess that does a lot. I've been through too much to worry about anything, if I worry I get left feeling sick and it's not good for me. You only live once right? Take risks. That tumblr mojo. 

~


	3. Chapter 3

It's been a few quiet days. Draco and I have basically just avoided each other. 

Most people would rather socialize if they were forced to be in the same one bedroom apartment, but we're just doing anything but socializing. 

I'm not the one avoiding, to be fair. He is. I'm minding my own business so I don't cause more drama between us. 

It's working out so far. 

I sat on the couch, like I always am, with a bag of cheddar popcorn. It was really good, the food just melted against my tongue and I couldn't help but moan at the taste. 

Draco was entering the room while I did, scoffing, "Bloody thought you were jerking off."

"Please, that's a show you'd love to attend."

"Your funeral is something I'd love to attend."

"Mm, I'm sure of it." I grabbed the bag of popcorn and set it on my lap because Draco was walking towards the couch to sit. 

He grabbed the bag from my lap and shoved a few in his mouth, agreeing at the flavor and took a handful next. 

He wore a tight T-shirt and sweatpants, something I haven't had the pleasure of witnessing this whole week. He was always so formal and proper with his outfit choices, I was a little surprised to see him casual. I mean, I suppose I never considered that he slept in casual attire. Maybe I just thought he slept in an all black tight suit. 

The thought never crossed my mind for me to debate, Draco never really crossed my mind until recently. 

My eyes wandered down his body unintentionally. He was tall and muscular, it suited him thought, for some reason. 

I always thought he was scrawny. But now looking at him, he isn't. 

My eyes landed on the dark mark, frowning at the sight. 

Draco noticed my stare and sighed, handing the bag back over, "You make me regret even leaving the bed."

Before he could leave I grabbed his wrist, "Is it a tattoo or like spelled?"

Usually he'd threaten me for even thinking about touching him, but this time he just tensed up and pulled his wrist back, standing still. "A spell."

I crossed my legs, waiting for him to sit back down, when finally he did. 

"What do you want to ask?" He exhaled deeply and took the bag back. 

"Does it like.. hurt?" 

"It's kind of like a brand, for most it represents their loyalty. Voldemort used it to summon death eaters, or we used it to communicate to him, it doesn't hurt though, only when he was alive and summoned them. I've been trying to figure out how to get rid of it."

I just nodded and kept my eyes on it, peacefully studying it. It was quite faded, almost like it'd disappear in a few days. Reminded me of temporary tattoo's you could get from the dollar store. But I knew it wouldn't fade until it wasn't visible. It'd stay. 

I bit my lip, when wanting to look closer. Draco could tell I was curious but we weren't even near that level of trusting. He hates me despite staying. 

He sighed again, "Without going into a lot of detail, my dad did this..selfish thing. He wanted an out, it didn't go as planned. So, as a punishment, I got dragged in."

And..your task was to kill Dumbledore. I pieced it together. 

Although he didn't admit that, I was there. I saw it. I lost a piece of myself that day, to be honest. It was a lot to witness that. 

And I've never seen Draco so vulnerable. He was broken. In the moment I was pissed, thinking that was who he is; a killer. But looking back you could see the suffering in his eyes. He wanted it all to be over. 

And to think he's still fighting it? Even after Voldemort's dead? 

Maybe I did feel bad. 

"I could help figure something out, to get rid of it?"

Draco snorted, "As if. It's not that simple. It's a scar now. And it's not a tattoo, you can't get it removed. There's no magic left in it, since Voldemort is dead."

"I wish we knew that for sure-"

"He is." Draco spat, angrily. He grit his teeth but finally exhaled and tried to soften his expression, but it turned out slightly less angered, "I appreciate the offer, but I've tried. It's here to stay, I just have to put up with-"

"No," I interrupted, sternly, "that thing is..like a constant reminder of–probably–one of your lowest points, I know I'd want it off. Come on, we can figure something out. There's no such thing as can't."

He laughed quietly, "Why are you so pushy? Jesus."

I shrugged, taking the bag back from him. 

"We aren't friends," he added moments later. 

"Its not a friendly gesture,"

"Good."

"Good."

We stared for a second but I averted my eyes to my phone when it buzzed.

Draco looked over my shoulder slightly and shook his head in disapproval, "Can't they just accept the fact that you're gonna die and get over it? I have."

"Difference is between you and Hermione and Ron is you don't love me, you think our friendship is gonna get us killed."

"I'm waiting for the day when you prove me right so I can say 'I told you so' to be honest."

"Can't wait." I murmured nonchalantly as I texted Hermione a quick 'I'm doing fine, how are you' because I didn't really want to have a conversation and I knew she'd be in class in five minutes. 

Usually I wouldn't respond. But I took a risk this time. And it worked out because she didn't respond for hours. 

A little bit of time went by, Draco still hadn't said a word to me. 

The whole talk we had last week was quite fun, and a lot, and unusual. He would never admit something personal to me, so consider me flattered. 

I don't know why the dark mark fascinated me so much but it did. I mean yeah, I don't like that Draco has to have it his entire life now but the fact that it's like a brand? And you could summon Voldemort and he could summon you? I'll say one thing; it's clever. But cruel. 

So, while Draco ignored me, I was searching through all books in sight, hoping for a spell to get rid of it. 

Spoiler alert, I never did. 

Was it really so much to ask for that not even a common spell existed to get rid of it?

It's not a tattoo, there's no laser that can remove it. It's magic, and there's none left in it now that Voldemort's dead. But you'd think it'd be removable even after his death, right? 

Draco walked out and into the kitchen. I watched him for a few seconds, but adjusted my glasses and started reading over the lines again because I lost my train of thought. 

Usually, he'd walk out and immediately go back in. I didn't think much of it, assuming it'd be the same as always, but to my surprise he plopped down next to me and the sound of his soda can opening echoed off the walls. 

I looked at him, "So is it continuing to fade? Or is it like scarred." I gestured towards the snake and started thinking hard before Draco could stop me. I knew he would so I tried to quickly think of something while it was still in my sight but he moved his arm so it wasn't visible. 

"You're still obsessing over it?"

"Yeah," I looked at the book and flipped the page with a heavy and exhausted stare, "If there was something permanent on my skin and it was a constant reminder of the day I almost killed you; I'd want it gone. That was my darkest moment, I think it's safe to assume that's a reminder of yours-"

"And what do you suppose is my darkest moment? If there is one?"

I knew it was Dumbledore, I remember the pain in his eyes. He doesn't show emotion very often, and when he does he gets defensive. He thinks it makes one vulnerable. I've seen it. 

"You tell me." I chuckled quietly, and for once Draco didn't take it as a judgement type thing. 

I laughed because I knew I couldn't guess it, if I didn't know what I know. 

Draco knew that. 

He pursed his lips, "I appreciate it all, but give it a rest. I don't care that much. That and I've found a few death eaters in the area, I think we should go across town and kill off a few, they'll assume we're in that area and go more towards there, getting them off our trail."

"Right." I shut the book carefully, "That should work. But I'm gonna keep trying. I have nothing better to do."

He stood and grabbed the book from me and set it on the shelf, "Fine, but put it on hold. We have a three hour train ride to catch."

When he set a pair of tickets down, I furrowed my eyebrows. "Now!?"

"Yes, now, we have nothing better to do."

I nodded, sighing and grabbed a pair of clothes from the side table and headed to the bathroom. I was wondering why he was dressed all fancy in his black suit. The suit..suited him. So I wasn't complaining. I liked it.

I pulled on a pair of casual tight black jeans along with a gray t-shirt and my leather jacket. 

When I walked back out Draco tossed something at me. I flinched slightly but managed to catch it, holding it out and then looking at him. 

"It's cold. You'll want it, the subway is a long walk away"

I sighed, watching him pull a long draped coat on and fixing the collar. 

With that, we quickly opened the door and went downstairs through the candle shop. Draco had shoved the pair of tickets in his pocket, he must've had from before. 

We walked in silence, I was worrying about how the cold was hitting my fingertips and making them numb, while Draco walked a little faster than I could manage. I wasn't the tallest, give me a break. 

With every turn we took I got even more cold, I regret not wearing a heavier jacket but this was all I had. And it was fine, I was just freezing trying to keep up. 

Draco didn't care that I was struggling, he didn't even notice. But if he did I know he'd brush it off and probably go faster just to piss me off. 

It felt as if we were walking for ages. My nose became bright red from the gloomy weather continuously nipping at my skin. My fingertips were numb, my pockets weren't even close to keeping them warm. 

Finally he had stopped walking so fast and I managed to get caught up and stood next to him, shivering. 

"Hermione." He said, literally randomly. We hadn't said a single word since we left the safe house and all of a sudden he wanted to have a conversation. 

"What about her?" We walked down the stairs to the subway quickly and went towards where our train was. 

Draco waited until we stopped walking, which was only a few seconds and sat on a bench when waiting for the train to arrive. "You two. Together. Did you ever screw?"

I almost laughed, just smirking, "Are you delusional? No, never. Ron and her are together."

"What?!" He squeaked, choking on his own words and then laughing, "You're the chosen one, gonna have a successful future due to your name. And she chose the poor loser?"

I sat next to him and kicked his ankle, "Don't talk about Ron like that. They're extremely fond of each other. And I don't date, not even consider. Especially my friend. You assume because she's female that she and I were bound to get together?"

"Is that not accurate logic?" He smiled but only from amusement. He was enjoying watching me answer and shift uncomfortably. 

Hermione and I would never happen, I love her don't get me wrong but my god since day one those two have been so incredibly fond of each other, and not in a bad way. 

I admire their love for each other, it's heartwarming. Draco wouldn't though. 

"No, it's not. She could be a lesbian, you wouldn't know. That and you think loves a dangerous disadvantage-"

"Which is exactly why I wouldn't be surprised if you two screwed."

There was a short silence, because I didn't want to keep the conversation going. He was just amused and not taking me seriously so I slouched down and nuzzled my nose in the scarf and exhaled deeply. 

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Draco staring at me blankly, I think. He had his arms crossed but only to be comfortable, and he sat sideways in the corner of the bench. 

I didn't acknowledge his stare, instead I stared at the ground and thought hard about Hermione. I had hoped she was okay. I know she's mad at me and I don't want that anger to get in the way of her schoolwork and stress her out. She stresses easily. I suppose I should explain some things, it's been long enough. 

"Never?" He asked again. 

"Never!" I repeated, louder, "Hermione and I are and always will be just friends. Quit obsessing over it."

"Sorry." Draco genuinely apologized and slouched with me casually. 

I hadn't paid attention to it, but once I processed his words–like three minutes after being said–I shot up and stared at him, wide eyes. 

"What?"

"You just apologized?"

"Big deal?"

"Uh, yeah?! You're a dick, I literally thought you were incapable of sincerity. That apologies weren't part of your vocabulary."

"I'm capable of sincerity, just not to annoying pricks like yourself."

I smiled slightly and chuckled, Draco doing the same. 

He sat up with me because he heard the train, holding eye contact, "I'm not incapable of genuine sincerity or pity. I'm quite capable of it. But it's pointless, so I don't feel it often. And I don't force it for someone else's sake."

"Uh huh."

"Screw you." His smile faded and he averted his eyes, despite knowing I was being sarcastic. 

I was still smiling at him though, I hadn't even realized the train had stopped and doors opened. I was still staring at Draco, zoning out. 

You know, I don't have ADHD but sometimes it sure feels like I do. 

It was as if I had completely forgot what was going on seconds ago and just started studying his features, even though I wasn't. 

What I was doing was thinking about him, nothing specific, just his name, how he looks. It was weird, but I didn't realize it was happening until he sighed and stood up, waiting for me to stand with him. 

"Let's get this over with."

I snapped out of the weird trance and jumped up, causing Draco to stare at me oddly but only for split second before he turned around and got on the train. 

It wasn't packed, hardly anyone was here. 

So luckily, we got seats on the back where there was hardly anyone but a homeless man. 

He was asleep with his feet sprawled out on two other seats.

I plopped down next to Draco and tried not to pay attention to the man, despite him having a literal wrapper in his long beard. I just stared up and impatiently tapped my foot, because yeah I was anxious. I've always hated trains. I hate planes, trains, get car sick easily. 

It's been so long since I've been on a train though. I never get on the train for Hogwarts anymore. I just use my magic and hope nobody acknowledges it. Overtime I've grown to get motion sickness. 

We were visiting my cousins and they hated me, drew on the walls and wrote swear words saying I did it when I was in the corner playing with yarn strings. But whatever, I was used to that type of stuff. 

Safe to say majority of my family hated me, because I'm me. Obviously. 

After a little while, I looked over to Draco again. He seemed so deep in his thought, as if he was debating every last spell he could use in case something goes wrong or what strategy is best for what scenario. I wish he wouldn't stress about it. When the time comes he'll know. 

I quickly looked away when he started moving to take his draped coat off, having to stand to do so since it was so long. 

He paid no attention to me, setting it to the side and unbuttoning the buttons on his wrists to roll them up to his elbow. 

I noticed the dark mark almost immediately, and by the time Draco realized what he just started he sighed, heavier than normal and finally looked at me, awaiting the question. 

"Are you sure Voldemort's dead? I..feel like it was too easy. When I killed him it felt too easy." I frowned, "It's like death eaters put up a better fight than the dark lord himself."

Draco crossed one leg over the other and crossed his arms as well, turning his head, "I'm positive."

"You can summon him, isn't there a spell for that?"

He looked at me like he was offended, "What? You don't trust my word?"

"I do, but have you tried it? Even out of curiosity?"

"You want me to do it? In the middle of all these people?" He gestures forward to four people who all were minding their own business, excluding the homeless man. And then, he sighed, "Right."

He subtly pulled his want out, turning his body so it hid the majority of the wand and held it over the mark, looking at me, "Morsmordre."

It glowed for split second, as if it were reacting, because it could've been just from the magic and not the mark itself, but then the wand sparked and caused Draco to hiss, shaking his hand violently after dropping the wand, the wand of which I caught before it could hit the floor. 

Draco grimaced only slightly before shoving his wand back into the inside his shirt pocket, "He's dead."

"Why did it glow-"

"I don't know, for Christ sake, Potter."

Slowly, the eyes on the mark began to glow and Draco stared for a second, before frowning deeply, "It's burning-"

Someone else on the train hissed, shaking his arm violently and rolled his sleeve up to see what it was, eyes widening and immediately looking at Draco, who was trying his hardest not to react to the pain. 

"Him-" Draco hissed again and almost whined, "Shit- it burns, like a lot a lot." 

I reached for my wand to put an end to the man who was slowly realizing who we were, but Draco grabbed my wrist and pulled me closer, "Do not..act suspicious. You hardly look like yourself, your scar isn't visible and the scarf hides half your face. Do not make contact."

I furrowed my eyebrows angrily, "He could easily say the magic words and poof, we're dead. Nothing's stopping him-"

"No but if you beat him to it you risk killing this entire train, it could get messy and you'd hesitate. No contact."

"Well you being this close makes it look suspicious."

Draco's eyes twitched slightly and he almost ignored me, breathing deeply from the pain, "That guys a death eater, probably looking for us. He probably thinks we're a gay couple."

My eyes flickers from one eye to the next because I couldn't manage to stare at just one and I nodded, it makes sense. Last anybody knew was I was dating Ron's sister, because if Draco knew that–and he does because he's teased me for it before–then most likely his dad knows which means death eaters know. 

They won't suspect me being gay. Or Draco. 

Okay, maybe Draco. I've never once in my entire life since I went to that school seen Draco with a female and was flirting. It's always been guys, but I thought they were friends. Maybe he just doesn't date like me, or it's not public. 

I date, dated, and once. She needed space when her brother died, so I didn't deny her that. We never talked again, because she said she couldn't do it. 

Like okay I check in occasionally because Ron asks me to but I don't want to see her hurt again so I avoid her. 

I felt as Draco moved closer and kept a forced blank expression through the pain. "Don't show any signs of fear. Not in body language or eye contact, don't. He's still staring."

I felt the train coming to a stop and turned my head quickly when the breaks started, standing up just as quickly in a panic. 

The man did as well, only to stop being so tense when I grabbed Draco his coat, cringing at my mistake. 

Hey, I didn't mean to be so tense. Maybe I was just eager to get off. 

Draco gave the knowing look I had expected as I held his coat open for him. He got the gesture and turned around to put his arms through the sleeves all while hiding his mark. He adjusted it so it fit on his shoulders well, smiling–forcefully–at me, only because we had an audience. 

Once the doors opened, we walked out and the man followed but at a safe distance. 

He placed a secure hand on my back and pulled me towards the next train that was stopped on the other side, hoping the man wasn't following but sure enough, he was. 

"Shit- he knows." 

"I'm doing it-"

"Wait-"

I grabbed my wand out of my pocket and turned as quick as I could, the man doing the same but I yelled first, "Sectumsempra!"

He probably expected something simple like stupefy, which is why he yelled out in pain when deep gashes showed all over his body, causing him to scream. 

All the people around us were screaming and scurrying out of the subway area and up to safety while the man weakly fought back. "Crucio.."

Suddenly I felt my head start ringing violently, throbbing like it'd explode into tiny bits everywhere. I felt like my skull was reforming into a different shape, changing structure. I collapsed to the ground, groaning. 

"Avada kedavr-" Draco tried, but I fought the pain just enough to stop him. 

"Stupefy!"

He went flying backwards and groaned, as I quickly kicked my feet out and knocked the man off his and stood, my wand against his neck and stared hard, "Expelliarmus."

The wand flew towards Draco at his feet as he went over to me, all grouchy and upset I stopped him. 

He couldn't kill the guy in front of all these people, if someone was talking to the police? We're in some deep shit. I'd rather not have to clean a mess that could easily be avoided.

"You shouldn't have stopped me." Draco murmured, angrily when turning his back.

I rolled my eyes and stared at the man for a few more seconds, "You're gonna get up, and come with us calmly."

He did as told, a very stern and hesitant expression but nonetheless came, accepting the defeat. 

I grabbed his wrist tightly and dragged him to the train we were on before, that luckily hadn't left yet. 

Draco followed behind but at a safe distance, sitting across from the man and I. 

The man stared coldly at Draco however. 

"Fag."

Draco sat up and stared back, "Excuse me?"

"I said fag." He spat at Draco's foot, "The dark lord would be ashamed if he knew you were teaming up with his enemy. The only reason I can think of is you being a fag."

"Or because all the death eaters are trying to kill us both and dickless over here doesn't give up when he's determined." Malfoy gestured towards me but smiled slightly when I sent him a half-hearted glare. 

"Might as well kill me, they'll know where you are if you do. They'll be closer to finding where you two are staying. And when we do, you'll die an extremely crucial death with no mercy, as the lord would want."

Draco rolled his eyes and waved his wand casually, "Silencio."

The man's words became muffled, too muffled to even make out what he was trying to say and he couldn't open his mouth, just as it should be. 

Suddenly, the glass all shattered and the back of the train came off, hitting the wall and ground. 

The man stood up and grinned, using his wand to pick up chairs from the ground and levitate, throwing them at Draco who then yelled, "Diffindo-"

The object split in half, flying out through the open window from the glass being broke and causing the train wheels to squeak loudly, possibly breaking. 

He then ran out of the train, rolling on the ground and pointing his wand at Draco. All too quickly there was a ball of ice zooming through the air and towards Draco. I quickly stepped in front of him, throwing the ice to the side and breaking when it hit the wall. 

He wouldn't have reacted quick enough. 

I grabbed Draco's shoulder and 'teleported' (if that's the right word to use) behind the man who was waiting for us, almost immediately trying to shoot a ball of ice at him, ya know, give him a taste of his own medicine? But he threw it to the ground. 

Draco and I pointed our wand's at the same time, a long line of our magic meeting with the death eater's, but he stood no chance. 

Even he knew that. 

"I have to kill him." Draco said to me, eyeing me from the side while we struggled to take a few steps forward. "He'll tell the others where we are if I don't."

"You don't need my approval." I nodded towards him and he chuckled, "You got it?"

I tested the waters a little bit to see if I had more magic (stronger magic) and then raised an eyebrow and gave a certain nod, "Yeah, should."

Draco nodded as well and did a quick spin out of the magic and pointed his wand at the man quickly, "Avada kedavra!"

There was a flash of green light, but it missed the guy, he was gone but I knew he wasn't dead, that's not what it looks like when you get hit by the curse. 

I fell backwards from the impact of my magic hitting nothing, staring at where he was. "He isn't dead. That's not how it looks."

"I know," Draco nonchalantly answered. 

My eyebrows furrowed immediately and I looked at him like he was insane. How's he bloody know?! Has he used that magic before? 

He didn't notice my expression, just walking over to where he was standing and examined the area for anything of his but there was nothing. 

Before I could ask how he knew, the tunnel started getting brighter and brighter, and that's when I realized a train was coming our direction. 

My eyes widened and as quick as I could–in a single three seconds–I jumped up and grabbed Draco, shoving him to the side where the train wasn't. If he hadn't had grabbed my wrist as he went down, the train would've hit me. 

We both grunted when hitting the ground and I looked at him after a moment, "That was a floating train."

"Yeah," he laughed quietly while catching his breath, "London's not as boring as I thought."

I snorted when getting up but I turned my head and saw the man, another train cart coming.

This time Draco acted quicker than I did and shoved me out of the way, backing himself up against the other side of the wall. 

The cart passed and we stared at each other for a moment, short of breath. But before we could even break eye contact the death eater pointed his wand at me and started to murmur something. 

I panicked, and pulled my wand out, not even having to turn around and pulling the cart back behind us and at the man. 

I heard him grunt and then dropped the cart onto him, seriously hoping nobody was on that. 

That'd uh, that would be bad. They just went on a very sad and magical rollercoaster. Not exactly my idea of a fun day but who knows. 

Draco slowly dropped his arm from before because he was gonna fight the man who was trying to fight me, but I beat him to it. 

"That was just one." I smirked slightly at Draco who scoffed, playfully. 

"Yeah, imagine Bellatrix."

"Oh god," I tried not to laugh, "let's hope she doesn't have a thing for throwing trains at people."

"And if she does; show her how it feels." Draco walked over and crouched down where the man's legs popped out, "Life imitates art." 

I crouched down with him and furrowed my eyebrows in his direction. Draco caught my confused look and furrowed his eyebrows as well, "Wizard of Oz? Wicked witch?"

I shook my head and shrugged, "Spent most of my life locked in a closet under the stairs. Literally. No idea what that is."

Draco chuckled, "Always one upping people, huh?"

"As if my tragedy of a childhood would be something to one up someone with. Piss off, you know the story." 

He didn't take offense, "Yeah, I know what people say. Not what you say about it though."

"I don't plan on taking a trip down memory lane for you, so don't push it." 

With that I stood up, just to make sure nobody was on board. 

So, I really don't talk about my past? But the entire wizard world pretty much already does, besides how I was treated after my parents death. That could explain why Draco didn't know about that. 

But I'm just so used to everybody knowing that there's no point in feeling ashamed I didn't experience the brightest things. 

Hey, those dark times got me to where I am and I'm pretty satisfied with this. 

Draco stood as well, "Good, because I wasn't asking you to."

We were silent as I opened the door and saw nobody on, luckily. 

He looked over my shoulder and then turned, "Alright, so I will take care of the cart, you do the body-"

"Too dangerous. If we get caught dragging a body? Especially if Bellatrix catches it? We do the cart together, and use magic to do the body."

Draco just rolled his eyes, "Fine." He put a hand on my chest and pushed me backwards while ignoring my confused stare. 

Then, he pointed his wand at the cart and moved it off the body, dropping it. 

He walked over to the body and leaned down, checking the pockets for anything he would've had, nothing but a wand though. 

I noticed him eyeing the man's dark mark, kind of tracing the outline for split second but then taking a step back and mumbled something I couldn't hear as the body slowly shriveled up and into dust. 

With that he turned to me, "The train, then."

We both pointed our wands at the cart and started walking slowly behind it as it floated up. 

"People saw us on the train using magic, we can't be sloppy. If the police get ahold of it-"

"Probably already have."

"-we obliviate anybody who has knowledge of what went down."

I looked to Draco to see if he agreed but he didn't say a thing, so I continued, "Their service probably doesn't work down here, so they'll still be on the train. It's only been like a half hour, right? Should be easy."

Draco then casually snorted at my question, causing me to be confused. 

Nothing about it was funny, which made me curious. 

He noticed the curiosity in my eyes when ours met and raised his eyebrows, "Death Eaters usually don't go alone, especially if they're looking for someone dangerous. We're considered dangerous, you killed their lord and savior-"

"Did I?" I interrupted, even he was unsure with how many still believe Voldemort is still alive.

Draco ignored my interruption and continued, "When they were searching for my father they traveled together, never found one alone. Even with Voldemort dead Bellatrix would run things the same way. There's got to be another one."

"That's a reach, an assumption, we can't know that for sure at this point." I responded, but only to receive a small annoyed glance. 

We continued in silence, mainly because Draco was tired of hearing my voice and I was tired of hearing my own voice. 

The silence was comfortable, it was quiet. I wasn't gonna complain it was nice. 

-

We took care of the cart and repaired the train we were on before alone with obliviating anybody who got startled when we appeared on the train out of nowhere. So basically, everyone, even the man controlling it. 

Then we continued onto where we were going in the first place. There were far more death eaters on this side of London, and oh boy, I think Draco was actually right. 

They seemed to all be together. 

It was tiring, having to fight all of them off and kill every last one. I felt drained, but Draco was still having his fun with it. 

We found them in libraries, pizza shops, as cab drivers, police officers, even just walking the streets. They were covering every last inch of town and it was bloody annoying. 

I was drained, I said that. But the reason Draco isnt is because–personally–I think he feels like he's getting revenge. 

Although Voldemort did this to him, the death eaters are immensely committed to him, so it felt like the same thing, only not as satisfying but he felt if he did it and killed enough it'd feel almost as satisfying as killing Voldemort. 

He was acting on rage, and those are always the weakest among all fighters. 

However, he wasn't insulting me or commenting on my lack of..murder. So I wasn't gonna stop him. Maybe if I felt it was too much, but really it's hurting nobody but the death eaters, and it had to be done. 

If he needed my help, I would step in, but his rage got to them before they could him so it was very rare. 

I watched as he shot a ball of magic at the woman–who put up quite a good fight in my opinion–and watched as she disappeared into flames and ashes. 

Draco breathed heavily, turning with a harsh angered look on his face and looking at me, but I knew the rage wasn't for me. He's had that look for hours since we started this. 

"You just gonna sit there and not help?"

"You seem to be doing fine. Plus you're taking your rage out. I didn't think it'd be as satisfying if I helped." 

He didn't react and just walked past me. 

I hopped off the dumpster I was sitting on and followed him out of the alley. 

"By chance, it's rage, right? Not trying to ease any pain and suffering, just you trying to ease the anger?" I tried, because at some point you have to draw the line, right? 

It looked like rage, but if you looked through it you could see pain. 

It was him trying to cope, I'm gonna take a wild guess. I think he was trying to cope with the pain subconsciously rather than being up front with it. 

I could tell he didn't know how to handle pain, as if he wasn't allowed to feel it or be vulnerable. 

And after everything he's been through that I know of? I don't blame him. 

Draco sighed and softened his expression after realizing my concern, "I'm fine. It's not pain. These assholes partially ruined my life, let me live, rather than them. It's getting the job done, isn't it?"

That's what I thought in the first place, so I laid off. 

Eventually, he decided to call it a day and we headed back to the train a few hours before sundown. 

When we got back, it was dark. And Draco was exhausted, as was I. 

The second we stepped foot in that apartment, he collapsed in his bed and I threw my jacket to the floor when face-planting into the couch, as if I did something today. 

When really, it was all Draco. Not me. 

But hey watching and thinking hard is mentally draining. Give me a break. I worked hard. 

~

It was a little bit after that, few days later. 

Draco had went out to grab us some dinner nearby. 

I trusted he knew what he was doing so I didn't stop him, in case he got caught. 

I mean, it's been quiet since that incident. We think it pointed them in the wrong direction anyways so it was fine. 

I had texted Hermione and Ron in our group chat some updates on what I was doing. I didn't tell them I was with Draco, because they know he'd let me die. I told them I was with someone I trusted, even though I didn't trust him. 

Just so they wouldn't insist on coming to help. 

For the fun of it, I threw my cloak over my legs because I was cold, watching as the bottom half disappeared and chuckled to myself. 

After that, Draco walked in as I texted away on my phone, snickering at Ron's stupid jokes. 

"Pizza was the only thing I could find around here. Bloody twenty-five bucks for this. Drink tap water, I'm not buying soda." 

I looked up and saw he styled his hair slightly differently, it looks more fluffy rather than slicked back and flat, I liked it. And this time he didn't wear his regular black suit with a long draped coat. I've noticed that's what he wears the most. 

"You look different." I pointed out and eyed him casually, "It's a good different. What inspired it?"

He smiled, for once in his life, and sat next to me with the box of pizza after moving my legs to the side, "Got tired of it. Felt maybe I could try something different."

"Yeah, it's nice. It's a good different." I grabbed a slice from his paper plate because he put the box on the table next to him and ignored his piercing stare, moaning as the delicious gold cheese almost melted against my tongue, the pepperoni adding a little spice to it and blending the whole taste together. "This is so good."

Draco nodded in agreement and grabbed his slice, taking a small bite and eyeing my phone, "..Hermione."

I glanced at him, "What about her?"

There was a small silence because he wanted to finish chewing, when he then made a blowjob gesture with his hand and chuckled when I kicked his foot. 

"No! How many times do I have to tell you? I'd never do that with her. She's with Ron."

He just brushed my response off and coughed, purposely. "I don't know if I believe it."

"Oh, please do. I'm a virgin, when your life is at risk by a wrinkly old grape lacking a nose and hair you kind of don't have time to get around sexually."

Draco snorted, "I'm not surprised."

"Don't be so mean."

He smiled at me from the side, eyes flickering slightly between both my eyes and giving a side frown, "Have you figured out a spell for this?" He gestured to his mark. 

I looked away to my phone for a second and nodded, "I have a few. Mind if I try later?"

Malfoy nodded in response and waited a few seconds before continuing because he was chewing, "I don't know why you're so determined."

"I told you already; I know I'd want it gone. Plus, if you 'trigger' it so far, it causes pain. Even more reason to get rid of it."

And then, there was another short silence. I had a point and Draco knew that, but suddenly he jumped up, pointing, "Wait! What if we used it against them? I can tolerate the pain, it's not that distracting but you saw that one death eater; he could barely handle it unless his life was on the line. Why don't we use it?"

I smiled, he had a good idea. Wish I had that. "Maybe, or we could figure out how to get rid of it first and trigger another death eaters mark, because who knows whether it gets worse or not. The pain could get so bad to the point you can't handle it. I don't want to risk it, not when there's hundreds of delusional pricks looking for us."

He just laughed quietly with me, "You aren't as annoying as I thought. Thanks-"

"O-m-g!!! Did you just say that? I'm so flattered!"

"I take it back, Christ." Draco groaned and plopped backwards, "One moment. That's all I ask!"

I giggled and crossed my legs, smiling at him. 

Yeah, I noticed I was enjoying him around too. Having to spend time with each other and interact maybe helps you build some tolerance. Because before I couldn't even manage to look at him without feeling terrible because he hated me, but now; I want to look at him. 

And I consider his rude remarks bickering, so it feels better. That and I know it's just his personality, he insults people but never means it. He stopped picking at my insecurities as well, because maybe I grew on him, he's kind of grown on me anyways. 

"Okay, Fine." I answered, "You aren't as bad as I thought either. I kind of see through the act now, you aren't a douche like I thought."

"Don't push it. You don't see through me, you think you do."

"Oh, so you aren't sensitive when it's comes to certain things? Like what happened with your dad? Or What Voldemort had you do to prove yourself? Or the fact that you have something that represents what you were once loyal to, or who preferably. Or that you don't have anyone anymore? I see through it, you push people away, because you're afraid if you don't they might hurt you like your dad did, or might get dragged into the 'business' shall I say because you love them. Am I wrong?"

He blinked slightly. I don't think he appreciated that, or could even brush it off. 

Okay, so that proved I was right. I knew I was about at least half of it, but I know he pushes people away by acting like a douche. That or it's to maintain his reputation. But I doubt it's because a reputation anymore, Voldemort gave him a new one. 

He feels he has to push me away, which is odd, because I'm not trying to get close. Maybe he sees me as someone who could get close, so he pushes away to be safe. I don't know. I just guess. 

"I'm right, aren't I?" I repeated and gulped when he looked me in the eye for a few seconds. We both stopped moving, mainly because we felt a little scared. I had just exposed him, read him like a book, and his expression intimidated me. I didn't know how he'd react, honestly. 

"No," he finally answered. "I push people away, yeah, but Voldemort is not your business. It's not that I'm afraid of people finding out, everyone already thinks so low of me, it's that I don't want to relive those moments. Don't act like you know stuff. I don't tell you anything."

"Because you think I'm trying to get close with you?" I asked, because I was confused and afraid to not respond. I owed him a response, I started this awkward conversation, might as well continue it. "Because believe me, coming with you..was just to redeem myself in any possible way. I apologize if you felt threatened, genuinely-"

"Would you quit it? This conversation is pathetic enough, I don't need your apologies."

"Sorry- I mean- uh, okay." I pursed my lips and stared at my feet, when Draco just laughed, because of my response. 

I smiled slightly when seeing his face light up, admiring it because it's a rare thing to see. 

"Look, Potter, I'm really not gonna talk to you about what I'm sensitive about, you can make assumptions and read into my body language and expressions all you want. Im not the type to talk about it so do not expect me to. Cool?"

I felt better about responding now, because he had a small smile on his face and bit his lip when waiting for me to respond. 

"Okay," I said again, snorting when he did. 

"Okay."

~


	4. Chapter 4

We were still sat on the couch, by this time we had already gone through the entire pizza box. 

It was a large too, I felt stuffed. 

It wasn't the original plan, heck I didn't even think he'd sit out here, but we went through the entire box and talked about how much the kids at Hogwarts sucked. 

Hey, it wasn't always Draco giving me a hard time, other people joined in, nobody wanted me there, because Voldemort wanted me dead which means, he'd try to. And the school sadly stood in the way of him getting to me. 

So yeah, I got some shit for it. But it's nothing I couldn't handle. 

I knew where boundaries were, like Draco being a death eater, I knew not to touch the subject. 

Then we had got to the topic of his dark mark. That's where we are currently, he let me try different spells, all hardly did anything, but it didn't stop me. I tried anything I thought could work, but if they didn't it was because the magic was possibly just too unique for simple spells to tackle. 

He had his arm in my lap, staring up at the ceiling. I think at this point he was desperate to get it off, even if he won't admit it. If he wasn't desperate he wouldn't let me help, because he practically hates me. 

"Do you remember what spell he used when giving you it?" I asked, because maybe if he did I could research it and find a loophole, or go backwards. 

But Draco shook his head and sighed softly, "He didn't say it out loud, he did in his head. He never let anybody know the spell, it's dark magic, and he doesn't want people trying to learn it to trick him. He was careful about that."

"Lovely." I murmured as I traced it slightly, "Reckon Dumbledore would know something about it, hm." I looked up to see his reaction and bit my lip when he hardly reacted, just shifting in his seat. "He always knew what to do, wise man he was."

"Yeah," He finally answered, turning his head to look at me, "though, I don't think he was the fondest of me."

"Why not?"

"Oh, I was just..a dick. To everyone. Not you specifically."

I smiled slightly and glanced back down to his arm on my lap and blinked, considering my response before opening my mouth, "He..didn't care who you were. He saw the best in everybody. I think you were someone he saw a light in. Don't think so low of yourself."

Carefully, Draco looked away from me and chuckled, returning his eyes to mine when I looked up as well, "Why do you always insist not everybody is lost and can be redeemed?"

I shrugged with a small grin, "Because I have to hear about how bad you think you are and how you don't deserve anything good blah blah blah, I disagree."

"You hardly know me."

"Maybe," I nodded, "but I don't need to know a lot to know you don't deserve the misery"

We sat in silence, Draco decided not to come back with something snarky and just accept my response. I didn't want to argue it either, because he's not as bad as everyone–including me–thought.

"You really shouldn't put yourself down, ya know.." I said and glanced up at him again, considering this a soft moment because he returned the eye contact. 

Instead of saying anything, he pursed his lips and let me continue tracing the mark, staring back up at the ceiling. 

"I'm serious." I added. 

Draco didn't move and just said, "I'd argue if it was any other day but nobody thinks I should think highly of myself, so it's flattering." 

There was a hint of sarcasm in that sentence, I knew that he wasn't all that flattered but it wasn't a bad feeling either, so I smiled in satisfaction. 

"Works for me."

He gave a small forced smile, knowing I'd see it despite him staring up, and allowing me to continue with my spells. 

We sat in silence as small sparks came out of my wand but none of the spells worked. 

After maybe another half hour, I just groaned out of frustration and dropped my wand into my lap beside Malfoy's hand. 

He didn't move it, despite me letting go of it, and looked at me, "It's useless. Your attempts are pointless."

I agreed, they were, but did I have to stop? No. 

Plus, him just sitting out here with me is nice, he's the only company I have, and although it's my arch enemy, I'm glad I have someone. 

"Pointless Maybe," I eyed his hand and tilted my head, "but can't hurt to try."

I'm not one to admit things like 'I enjoy your company' or 'you're making me feel weird, a good weird' because for one; this is Draco, he's not like that either and two; I feel it's dramatic. 

Draco swiftly turned his body to face me, staring me in the eyes and handing me his arm, "Can't hurt to try, huh?"

"It's two in the morning, maybe we should-"

"No, we have nothing better to do. C'mon Potter, you know the spells, not me."

I nodded and quickly picked my wand back up while mentally scratching off the last ones I did. I only had about thirty left, but I could always look deeper into loophole spells. 

I tried at least fifteen times, not expecting anything to happen because the last two hundred spells didn't work either, but this time, something weird happened. 

The entire room lit up from the mark, it glowed green and bounced off the walls and practically blinded me, more so than I already was. 

I winced slightly as did Draco, peeking through our fingers to see it. 

He hissed moments later and groaned, toes curling while clenching his teeth. 

I panicked quickly and pointed my wand, reversing it. 

When the glowing stopped and the lights turned back on, we took a breath. 

Or at least me, I did. 

When my vision finally settled and things came into focus, I saw Draco staring off into space, right at the wall and nothing more. 

I carefully sat back down, but his eyes didn't even move, not to even focus on me. His pupils didn't dilate. 

I snapped in front of his eyes; nothing. 

It then and only then occurred to me, the mark was there, but it's color was back. It wasn't its usual faded dusty colors, it was vibrant. 

My eyes widened and I quickly shook Draco, "Draco! Hey! Are you okay? Can you hear me?"

I pushed off him and bit my tongue as I debated whether I wanted to punch him. When I decided, I readied my fist and pulled back, thrusting it forward but he came back from whatever trance that was, holding my fist in his hand, inches away from his face. 

"What was that?" I asked immediately.

"I..have no idea." He sat back as if he were in shock and stared off into space, letting go of my fist. Until finally, his eyes met with mine, "I saw like, darkness. I don't know what it was."

I scoffed, "Obviously you saw darkness you twit the entire room went pitch black and then the..mark glowed green."

"No.." he answered, like he was weak and then furrowed his eyebrows, turning quickly, "No! You arse, I mean when you did the spell, I saw darkness. Not in this room. It was like a dream, but I can hardly remember it. Like I was there, but no matter what direction I turned there was just black smoke, everywhere. I don't know."

I crossed my legs when sitting back down across from him, narrowing my eyes slightly. We didn't say anything for a few seconds, until he inhaled sharply and awkwardly rubbed the palm of his hand. 

"I think it was Voldemort."

The eye contact was a little intense, but I managed a fake smile, "Voldemort? Thought he was dead."

He tilted his head and scrunched his nose, "You want me to admit it?"

I hummed, leaning back. 

Draco watched me with annoyance and sighed, "You were right, I think he's still alive."

Then, I smiled wider at him and he groaned, "Shut up."

I laughed quietly as I processed it, even though I've had time to think of it, "You sure?"

He didn't answer and instead looked at his lap, not even intentionally. I could tell he didn't want to answer. 

"I'm sure."

"It's not just paranoia?"

"Of course I'm bloody paranoid, Potter. But I have a really bad feeling, I know it's him."

It shouldn't be possible, I swore I killed him but even I was speculating. 

Draco eyed the mark and carefully ran his fingers over it, in fear it'd react and then said, "I think that's a sign we should call it a night."

"Okay," I nodded with a concerned expression. 

Instead of getting up to go to his room, he sprawled out on the couch we sat on and closed his eyes without a second thought, his feet on my lap. I furrowed my eyes at the odd gesture, because he'd never do his even if he were tired. But I didn't stop him, or move him. 

Just sat there, staring out of my extreme confusion. 

He's like being weird. First off, he'd never even stay out here with me. Second; he'd never share the couch with me. And third; he hates my guts, so you can understand why this is weird for me. 

For a very long time, I stayed where I sat with the light on, looking at him while he slept. I was trying to wrap my head around it. 

What just happened was weird, it's kind of understandable why I'm speculating the reason for this. 

Whatever happened to him, it's that, this isn't his choice. I refuse to accept that he decided he wanted to stay here because he'd never. 

A lot of time passed, and I guess I fell asleep at some point with the light on because I woke up when there was sun shining brightly through the windows and with Draco's and I's legs tangled. 

My eyes fluttered open as I sat up slightly to process my surroundings, because it felt new with Draco out here for some reason. 

I pulled my legs to my chest as I reached behind me to turn the lamp off and grab my phone, seeing a bunch of missed calls from both Hermione and Ron. 

I hit her contact seeing as she called me more than Ron did and listened as it rang a few times, finally her picking up. 

"Harry!" She answered, a concerned voice. 

"Yeah.." my morning voice was a little rough, and deep, but she didn't question me and continued. 

"There was another attack on the school. Nobody knows who it was, or what. But they went in your room, took a lot of stuff, mostly Ron's. They must've mistaken his things for yours."

I rubbed my eyes and sat up even more, "What? Who would even.."

"No idea." 

We sat quietly for a minute, and I sighed when Draco shifted because I didn't want to wake him. 

"Can I call you back? I just got up.."

"It's three in the bloody afternoon, the hell were you doing all night you idiot?!"

"Nothing, Mum, jeez." I sighed, "But seriously, I got to go. Text me any updates if there are some, I'll call you back later."

She hummed in response and the line went dead, leaving me to stare at Draco, who now had his eyes open and stared at me, with droopy eyes. 

"Yours mum's dead." He said.

I nodded, "Thanks for the reminder?"

"You said mum."

"Oh," it was Hermione, I hadn't even realized he was listening, "that was Hermione, I told her I just woke up and she got on my arse about staying up late."

"Hm, sounds like something a girlfriend would do."

"Okay, Malfoy." I didn't want to argue, could you blame me? I've already denied Hermione and I, what more could I do? Arguing is pointless. 

He sat up as well and stretched, "Whats going on?"

"Someone broke into the school, stole stuff from my room."

"Maybe it's one of your delusional fans."

"Or a death eater. Or Voldemort."

"Yeah, them too."

"Maybe..we should look into it. We're just sitting around and waiting for something to happen here, it's not working out-" The suggestion of going back to Hogwarts didn't settle well with Draco, obviously. He immediately shook his head and pointed with annoyed eyes, "No! No way. I'm not going back to that pathetic excuse of a school."

"Fine! I'll go then."

He watched as I got up and started packing my suit case, finally sighing, "You can't just leave- what if something happens? You won't know and we'll be screwed."

I walked over to him and held eye contact, leaning close and grabbing my jacket which sat behind him on the window ledge, "Then come with me."

Draco only gave a slight death stare and then pouted when he dropped the expression, "I hate Hogwarts."

"Then stay!" I was multitasking and really didn't want to argue, Draco hated that I was multitasking. 

"I- Something could- Ugh!" He breathed quickly and sat forward, "Harry- listen I don't-" he pursed his lips when I stopped and stared him in the eyes, that was the first time he's called me by my first name, I could tell he was serious because of that. His eyes flickered between both my own and then he sighed, crossing his arms, "Whatever."

Whatever that was about, I felt bad. I wish he'd just up and admit stuff, but it's not how most people work sadly. I don't even work that way, and Draco has more issues with trust than I do. I can tell. 

So, with a sigh, I sat down next to him as he avoided meeting my eyes. 

"Listen," I started, obviously off carefully, "Hogwarts could be in danger. My friends could get hurt. I won't risk it. They're the only people who believed in me, everyone thought I'd be dead within seconds once Voldemort came back. And now that he's back–possibly–again, who knows what will happen-"

Draco interrupted in a subtle panic, "Exactly, he could come for me. You have- You're..more experienced in the fighting department, against Voldemort."

"Which is why I should check on Hogwarts. It's selfish to stay here Draco, I think you know that. I'm not the type to be selfish. So come on, because I'd be risking your life as well if I left you behind. We'll leave once we figure out what happened. And we can stay hidden, nobody has to see us. I have my cloak."

He just sighed and shook his head as he stood up, "Fine, I suppose. It's better than being alone and on the run."

"Well, you can really only trust yourself when you're on the run."

"True that, Potter."

After that, we got our stuff together and got to Hogwarts with magic. We made sure to hide out anywhere nobody could see us. 

We stayed in the walk in closet of Draco's room until his mates left for their classes. 

"Bloody arseholes, they threw all my shit in the corner." Draco pointed to the pile of dark clothes and looked at me, which in response I rolled my eyes and pushed the door open. 

"The corner!" He repeated while following close behind. 

We started down the long hallway's and sped walk considering we could be seen at any given moment. If a teacher caught us we'd be in some deep shit, they'd be watching us twenty-four seven if they caught us here right now. 

"I don't want to be seen by your two puppies either," He added after a little bit. 

I eyed him easily, "Why not?"

"They'd hate that we're on the run together."

"They just hate you in general, really."

"You do too, so whatever."

False. I didn't hate him, he just annoyed me. But I've developed some tolerance to his annoying nipping insecurities attempts. Or annoying in general. 

However, I didn't argue. 

We continued down the halls until we reached my hallway, Draco sticking close to my side. 

I could tell he was anxious being here. Only then had I realized how uncomfortable this place made him. But I didn't have time to comfort, we just had to get this over with. 

Finally we had reached my room and were about to turn in, but Draco grabbed my wrist and shoved me into a small closet along with him. 

I yelped, but didn't question him when a huge crowd of students came rushing down the hall and passed the closet. 

"Must be an assembly." He murmured. 

"I don't do well in tight spaces." I mumbled, feeling my head start spinning slightly when my heartbeat sped up. 

Draco only nodded nonchalantly, but when he could hear my heavy breathing his head whipped my way and his eyebrows furrowed. 

"You claustrophobic or summat, Potter?"

I nodded and felt myself break into a cold sweat from the heat in here. It felt really hot. Or at least I thought I was breaking out into a cold sweat, I don't think I actually felt it though. 

I started to hyperventilate, shaking and exhaling sharply and hardly pausing for a brief second to breathe, only when my lungs felt short of breath. 

The herd of students were still passing and that's when Draco covered my mouth, panicking as well but only because my anxiety attack was frightening him. 

"What do I do?"

I shook my head and closed my eyes, still inhaling and exhaling harshly. 

He put his pettiness aside, just for once, and awkwardly pulled me into a hug, softly whispering in my ear, "Just breathe, okay, focus on the air in your lungs, it's coming in and out, you aren't short of breath. Okay-"

"No-" I choked, coughing, "Thats not worki- not working." I didn't want to wheeze, he wouldn't let me, so I tried to swallow it but that made it worse. 

"Look at me, okay, you're okay. I didn't realize that you were claustrophobic, I'm sorry, Harry." 

I pulled back and met with his eyes, seeing how serious he was and mimicked his gestures, taking deep breaths as well. 

He never called me by my first name and he never apologizes. 

Then, he placed his hands on my shoulders and nodded, "See? You're fine. It's in your head."

Although I knew I felt embarrassed, I just kind of stared. He stared back as well, the same expression I had; blank but with a hint of happiness. 

Once he realized I was okay, his face twisted into an awkward look and he dropped his hands, turning back around and opening the door, "I didn't know you were claustrophobic."

I blinked a few times as my heart slowed down a bit and followed him closely behind, "Yeah..spent most my life in a closet under the stairs, kind of fitting that I developed claustrophobia. I hated it. So much."

Draco turned to me, just to make sure I was okay once more and nodded with a forced smile, "Lets forget that happened?"

"Works with me." 

We nodded together and quickly turned into my room, making sure nobody was around and eyeing where my bed was. What confused me was how Draco knew which one it was, but I didn't have time to question because he pointed out the scattered things on my side table. 

"Someone's definitely been here if your roommates don't mess with it."

"Ron would've made sure nobody touched anything."

Draco and I held eye contact for a second before he pulled his wand out, taking a step back and mumbling, "Appare vestigium."

I furrowed my eyebrows as this golden outline of a woman appeared and he roamed through my belongings, taking my..hair brush?

It showed her jumping out the window and onto something, flying into the distance quickly before she disappeared completely. 

"Hair brush." I couldn't hold in my laugh, "We came here for a bloody hair b-"

"No, if she couldn't cast a curse or spell on you in person, she could take something of yours, like skin cells if he's lucky, dandruff, hair, nail, anything, and although it takes longer, it works. You're in danger."

"Who was it?"

Draco just shrugged, leaning down close to the floor and grabbing something and holding it up, "If she's gonna take your hair, we take hers. Any of your roommates have long black curly hair?"

I shook my head as he shoved it into a plastic bag that sat on Ron's table. I pursed my lips as I turned towards him, "We should just go. We have to do something about Bellatrix before they find us. Maybe kill her first?"

It wasn't Bellatrix who broke in, I didn't recognize the woman who did. 

"Yeah, sure, we walk in blind. No idea where she is. Great idea. Let's go." Draco sarcastically gestured towards the door and ignored my glare because he slowly backed up. 

My eyes quickly averted to who stood in the doorway with a wand pointed at him, and then I panicked, "Ron! Ron listen no! Don't."

"Th- Harry?!? What the hell?" He dropped his wand and his eyes flickered between us, pointing at both of us while making confused sounds, "He's here- and you- both of you ran away from this school and-" his eyes widened and he covered his mouth in shock, "Are you two hooking up?!??!"

Draco and I both widened our eyes and said 'no' in unison. 

Ron gasped again, "You are! Otherwise you wouldn't have hesitated. Harry you're gay?!? I thought you and-"

"No! Ron, I'm not gay! Shut up for two seconds! Malfoy and I aren't hooking up!"

He glanced at Draco for a few seconds as he passed him, walking over to me and pulling me into a tight hug. 

"Why the hell did you leave? Hermione and I missed you."

"As long as the two of us were here, Hogwarts was in danger.." I held eye contact with Draco, asking for permission to tell him what was going on without really asking, but he got the gesture and shook his head. 

When Ron pulled back to look at me, I forced a smile. "Do you..happen to know where Bellatrix is? Or at least any way we could find her?"

"Why Bellatrix Lestrange?" He asked, but when nobody answered he crossed his arms, "Hermione might..what're you two do-"

"C'mon Potter, we've got to go."

Ron turned to see Draco and his smile twisted into a scowl, "Shut up you arsehole."

He gave a mocking smile and then rolled his eyes, turning away. 

I put a hand on Ron's shoulder, "Listen, we do actually have to go. Don't tell anybody about this. I'll keep in touch."

"Do you seriously not trust Hermione and I enough to help? After everything?"

"It's not me who doesn't trust you.."

"Oh but he trusts you?!" Ron gestured towards Draco who gestured towards the door when I looked at him and he walked out, causing me to sigh and hurry. 

I pushed Ron aside, "No, I mean, I don't know. I'm sorry I have to go."

With that, I rushed out of the door and came face to face with Draco who just grabbed my hand before Ron could get to us to argue further, going back to London with magic and into the safe house. 

We both fell down and onto the couch, Draco groaning. 

"I hate your friends."

"They're not so bad."

He grimaced, "Doubt That."

"He didn't like that you were there, that's all."

We sat quietly for a few seconds but Draco snorted, "Hooking up? That's the best assumption he could make?"

I chuckled with him and smiled when it settled, our eyes meeting. 

"Thanks for..trying to comfort me when we were in that closet." I set my wand on the table. 

He brushed it off and squished his facial features together, "That? That was nothing. Don't have to talk about it."

"No, seriously. You're too petty and individual to do something like that, I appreciate you setting your ego aside for me."

"Don't flatter yourself."

I laughed quietly to myself when standing up and setting my wand to the side. 

It's so nice how he doesn't get offended with bickering anymore. I feel relieved and comfortable insulting him just as much as he does me. 

"I'm sorry Ron's upset." He added, moments later. 

A smile tugged at the corners of my lips and I nodded in his direction, "So you do trust me? Because you didn't deny it back there,"

Draco's mouth hung a little low while he got stuck on his words, stuttering, "Uh- Well its- I-"

I smirked and he sighed, "I don't trust anyone, but if it makes you feel better..you're getting there."

"I'm flattered, glad to know," I smiled slightly when Draco turned away to avoid a stupid argument with me. 

He stood up, "I'm gonna get a shower. This conversations too weird."

I nodded with a small grin plastered across my face, what could I say? I really am flattered. Never in my entire life did I think Draco would even consider trusting me. 

I texted Hermione asking her if she knew how to find Bellatrix, because she's quite clever and never disappoints, but instead of responding to my question she responded in all caps 'YOU'RE WITH DRACO? HE'LL KILL YOU, YOU FOOL.'

Ron told her, lovely. 

Before I could type back a response, I heard a loud crash coming from Draco's room and furrowed my eyebrows as I stood up to go check on him, because I know he went in there to get clothes. 

When I reached the hallway, he yelled, "Run, Potter!"

My heart started to race when I heard the panic in his voice, and instead of running, I ran to the room and saw Bellatrix standing in front of him. 

"You two were hard to track down, I'll give ya that." She pointed her wand at us, in response he pointed his at her. 

He glanced at me and saw I didn't have my wand out, but must've remembered I set it down on the table and turned his attention back to the hag. 

"What do you want?"

"Haven't you heard?" She asked with a fake sarcastic voice, "Our lord and savior is back. And no, not God."

She chuckled when I placed a hand on Draco's shoulder, glaring at her. 

"He's coming for the Malfoy's, and then the last of the Potter's. It's quite fitting that you two are together, it's poetic in a way."

I couldn't tell if she meant physically were just together and on the run, or if she meant we were together romantically. But I didn't even bother asking, because she laughed when breaking off the wall somehow, taking the bricks and with her wand she made them into sharp points, sharp enough to cut skin at least. 

All too quickly, all of them came flying at Draco and I. 

I grabbed his hips and threw him to the side and into the hallway, diving down to the ground on top of him. 

We both got up quickly as the bricks smashed into the wall in front of us. 

We scurried onto our feet and I jumped to my wand, pointing it where Bellatrix stood in the hall. I thought quickly, unsure of what spell would honestly work against her. I've been trying to avoid the three banned curses, only when necessary. Absolutely last resort, ya know?

Quickly, I watched as a ball of white light went flying at her, making a high pitched scream as it knocked her back. Only she was affected by the screams. 

I widened my eyes and stared out of confusion, I didn't recognize the spell. 

Instead of waiting for her to get back up, Draco grabbed my arm and used magic to get us out of there. 

Within seconds we were on the street, Draco still holding on to me when he started tugging me along, "Come on, she'll know where we are soon we have to go."

I quickly ran in the same direction he went, we hid behind two dumpsters when we heard a zapping noise, very familiar to the spell we used seconds ago. I poked my head to the side to see Bellatrix looking around angrily and giving up with a loud groan and running in the other direction. 

When I sat back and rested my head against the brick wall behind us, I noticed Draco more hyperventilating rather than trying to catch his breath. 

My eyebrows closed together and I watched for a moment. His eyes started to tear up and he ran his fingers through his hair, "Voldemort is back. He's gonna kill my father, my mother, and then me. You too. There's nothing either of us can possibly do to stop it."

"I don't give up that easily." 

He didn't even react to my response and let a sob out, "We're bloody screwed."

I hesitantly reached over and squeezed his shoulder to narrow my eyes and get his attention, "It's a team effort, I have your back, I trust you have mine. Just because we're out-numbered does not mean we can't manage. Voldemort won't show his face for awhile. We only know he's back for sure because Bellatrix, but as long as his second return remains a rumor for the majority, he won't show up. It's still Bellatrix and the few death eaters left. There's only about a hundred. We can do this."

He just laughed quietly, but not to mock me, it was genuine, "So we're like, fifty times outnumbered, so what?"

"Exactly." I returned the small smile. Then I added, "And as for your dad, we can protect him too. And your mum."

"I don't want to. Asshat ruined my life, any chance at it being normal."

"We're wizards, we carry wands around and have exotic pets no normal person without magic could without a permit. Nothing about our lives are normal, Malfoy."

He just gave a shy shrug and then wiped the tears, "Between the two of us, you did not witness me like that."

"Witness what?" 

We both smiled slightly and he stood, reaching a hand out to help me up. 

For a moment we watched each other, until he turned around to start walking. That's when I was looking for my wand, to put somewhere I could access it easily, but it wasn't on me. I felt all over my body in a panic, which caught Draco's attention as well. 

"What is it?" He asked immediately. 

"My wand," I shouted, "where the hell is it?!"

"Did you drop it?"

"I must've, obviously." I glared out of frustration and the two of us started looking around and retracing our steps, but nothing showed up. 

Finally we came back together and both of us sighed, because we knew where it was and how hard it was going to be to get it back. 

I must've left it at the not-so-safe-anymore-house. 

And we both knew that the second we held eye contact. 

"We have to go back for it."

"And risk our lives, story of my life."

"It'll be guarded."

"More fun for me." He gave a smug–also half nervous–smile and then I touched his shoulder, going to a pretzel stand that was a few blocks away from the safe house. 

Lucky for me, I always kept my money on me, rather than in the safe house laying around. I knew if it ever got left behind if someone was at the house I'd regret it, so I figured I'd keep it in my pocket. 

Draco stared at me as I asked for a small pretzel with cheese and no salt, pure judgement. 

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did you think this was your chance to stop for a lunch break?"

I scoffed, "Blending in with muggles. So no death eaters look twice."

Then, Draco reached for my hair and roughed it all up, to the point it were almost in my eyes. He flattened it all down and nodded to himself, "Your scar is how people notice you. Blending in, you said?"

He pursed his lips when taking a small step back, then reaching forward and taking my glasses, "You're too noticeable with them."

I tried to reach for them but he had already put them in his pocket so I frowned, "I'm like blind without them, you arsehole, give them back it's not a joke, I need those to walk."

Draco grabbed my arm and pulled it through his so ours were linked, dragging me closer as we walked. 

"Seriously? You're gonna treat me like I'm blind?" I asked with sarcasm and a hint of anger, but he chuckled. 

"All you need is a stick."

I couldn't actually make out anything. Everything was blurry, even nearsighted. I could barely make out Draco's face, and only reason I could was because I knew what he looked like, but a stranger? I wouldn't even begin to guess. All I could do is possibly tell their gender by their hair, but even then it's hard to tell in London, everyone's wearing bushy coats. Most coats people decide to wear are black, and dark colored hair decided to blend in with it without glasses. I don't have a say in what I see, okay?

Everything looked like a blob. 

"How are you not noticeable? Hm?" I tsked, but I noticed he didn't laugh and stopped us, "How?"

"I'm wearing your glasses."

"No they're strong your eyes cant handle it. We can't have two blind idiots! Only one!"

"Relax, they're low on my face. I can still see. Stop your worrying."

I let a deep husky sigh escape my throat and continued walking with him. It didn't help that I couldn't be a second pair of eyes. He was watching where we were going, shouldn't I check if we're being watched or followed?

After only a few minutes of walking, I just groaned and said 'okay' angrily as I reached for my glasses, putting them back on only to see a very annoyed Malfoy staring back at me. 

"You've got nerd glasses, if someone doesn't recognize you by your scar it's definitely the glasses."

"Shut up you sod." I let go of his arm and started walking quicker as he followed by my side. 

We were a corner away from being at the house, so I poked my head to the side to see who was there. And funny enough, the entire street was like covered in death eaters disguised as muggles. 

Most wore hoods to hide their faces, fools. 

"What do you see?"

"At least ten death eaters, maybe more. No Bellatrix."

"They're probably inside too."

We stood in silence for a moment or two, but then he excitedly hit my arm, "Your cloak!"

My eyes widened, "Yeah!!"

"Give me it."

My eyebrows furrowed with a judging stare, "It's extremely valuable I'm not gonna just let you take it into a room full of delusional pricks for the sake of my wand. I'll do it."

"What?!!" Draco exclaimed, "So what then? You make me admit I'm starting to trust you but can't let me borrow your bloody towel to retrieve your stupid wand?"

He had a point. I could only stare in response, My angry eyes slowly fading as I rolled my eyes, handing it over to him after I pull it out of my jacket. 

Draco took it and nodded at me, "I'll take it thats you not trusting me but le-"

"Oh hell no," I raised my eyebrows, "you bet I fucking trust you with it, I'll kick your arse if something happens."

He chuckled, "Subtle, totally not threatening."

"What more could I threaten you with? Cut your balls off while your asleep and make it singular, ball. Not plural?"

"That's a start." He nodded as he pulled the cloth around his body, his face only showing. "I'll take good care of her, be back in no time."

I gave a fake laugh as he disappeared completely and I heard a slight zapping noise, figuring he was gone and stuffing my mouth with pretzels. 

I could hear a bunch of crashes coming from the safe house and yelling, that's when I poked my head around the corner with my eyebrows raised and saw all the death eaters charging inside except for two. When I turned back around, Draco was in front of me handing me the cloak, "Come on."

I jumped and almost yelled, but he covered my mouth and pushed me against the wall since he hardly had a free hand because my wand was in his other and he was trying to muffle whatever sound I'd make next. 

We stood there for a second, but he checked around the corner and nodded quickly back at me, "Take the cloak and your wand. We have to go."

I did as he told and shoved both into my pocket as I reached for his shoulder, going to the only hotel I knew of, it was a very old rundown motel but I remember always passing it when we went to the store when I was a kid. It's the only store that was cheap. 

We both took a breather and I let go of his shoulder as I walked forward, "It's our only option until we figure something else out."

He stood there in the front of the street and stared at the crusty old gross looking place, frowning, "It's only one bed, Harry."

"We can take turns."

"We both bloody know that's not what will happen."

"Don't think about it then!"

He sighed in response and nodded as he fiercely walked up to the doors and walked in, seeing the man at the front desk not even look up to acknowledge us. 

"One night is fifty-five thirty, two is one-hundred and-"

I set a stack of cash down, "However many nights this'll get us."

The man glanced up at the both of us now and then chuckled, "Doubled, for the boyfriend."

"You don't have two beds." Draco stated, taking a step away from me and crossing his arms to establish we weren't together. 

"Suck it up, kid." 

I just sighed and went to grab more money, but Draco stopped me and then pointed at the cash, "However many nights that'll get us."

The man leaned closer when Draco did, "Doubled, for the boyfriend."

"It's not per person you fat oaf!" He grabbed the man by his shirts collar, "Give us a bloody room key and take the extra cash as it is otherwise I'm gonna take a gun to your head-"

"Draco!" I pulled him back, or at least I tried, but he pushed me off him and went back, "Room key, fuckwad!"

The man hurriedly grabbed a key as panicked as he was and handed him it, "I'm sorry sir, please, room two-one-six."

Finally he let go, taking the key, and then the cash as well, pointing at the guy, "Bad service doesn't get you cash, asshole."

I mouthed 'I'm sorry' as we walked out the door and headed for the stairs. 

"You had to threaten him?" When I broke the silence Draco just kept walking and didn't even bat an eyelash, "Yes, bloody muggles don't realize they're below us. So we show them. Make threats. It's how you get by here, Potter. If you have an issue with it go elsewhere."

He jiggled the key in the door and finally it creaked open loudly. I carefully shut it behind me and waited for him to sit down and face me before continuing, "Isn't it a bit far though? I mean a gun to the head is a stretch, even for you."

"You think you know me?" He cocked an eyebrow with a satisfied smile. 

I shook my head, "That's a serious thing-"

"As if neither of us have blood on our hands? Piss off, Harry. It's not a big deal. We're here for free, right?"

"Yeah, for now. What happens when he calls the police because we threatened him and said if he didn't let us stay here for free we'd kill him? Who's the police gonna believe two stupid boys on the run or the 'fat oaf'' who works here, as you call him."

"I think we have magic and can leave here at any given time. We're fine, stop overthinking literally everything you're proper annoying."

I watched as he collapsed backwards and I just rolled my eyes, "Okay, fine. I'm getting a shower."

He hummed in response, but I could tell he just had his eyes closed because he was tired so I didn't care. To be fair no response was really what was expected.

Somehow, I haven't broken down from stress yet. I feel, maybe because I'm the 'chosen one' in a way, that I have all this responsibility, that I just carry on my shoulders all day, and all night. I never get a break, nobody can take any of the weight off. 

I thought maybe when I 'killed' Voldemort, that would be relieving. But it wasn't. Somewhere in the back of my measly head, I knew very well that it was not even close to the end. 

And as for this whole situation with Draco, I couldn't just let him die? He'd be extremely outnumbered. 

So what, my reason wasn't because us teaming up made sense. I don't care that I wanted him to live no matter how badly he treated me. Nobody deserves to get taken out alone. 

I feel like I'm responsible for him, too. In a way. Ever since we started this 'journey' I guess, maybe I just felt I need to keep him alive. 

Any time it comes to Voldemort, the dark lord himself, any blood on his hands, yeah, I feel like that's all my fault. It's not, I know. But if I would have killed him, nobody's blood would be spilt. 

And because I didn't successfully kill him, Draco is gonna die. 

Before, I wouldn't have cared. Maybe felt guilty, but not because I couldn't help myself, because I know I should. But now, I think I'd do almost anything to keep him alive, even if I'm still not the fondest. 

Believe me, I'm not fond. I hardly can manage a conversation with him without the overwhelming urge to punch him in the balls, but I'd still keep him alive. I'd fight to, at least. 

That redemption story was no excuse, it was the truth. Well, part of it. The other half is that I can't live with myself if I don't get him through this. 

I almost killed him before, and now I will do absolutely anything to keep him alive. The second this is over, I won't feel obliged. And maybe I'm not so certain that we'll make it out alive. But I'll die regretting not getting him out. 

This is the only option I have, otherwise I'm someone I don't want to be, and definitely someone I don't want to live with my entire life. 

So, if I die trying, at least I died. I- 

Fuck. 

I meant tried. At least I died trying, fuck. 

That's like saying I'd rather die than make it out alive with Draco because his existence is too much to bare. 

You know what? I'm gonna shut up. 

Jeez.


	5. Chapter 5

When I finished my shower, not only had I realized the clothes I had were dirty, but I also thought I heard weeping. 

Had Draco been upset or something?

I threw my dirty yet tight and casual clothes on as I walked into the hall and silently watched him. 

He laid on the bed with his back facing me. He, indeed, was crying. 

The fact that he waited to be alone where I couldn't see means he didn't want my comfort. That or he was too embarrassed to take advantage of my sympathy and embrace the comfort attempts. And because I figured that was the case, I didn't try to help. 

It was quite understandable, I mean I know he fears Voldemort more than I do. 

I have nothing to lose, not anymore. Besides Hermione and Ron, but they have an entire school who would defend them against the dark lord. 

But Voldemort will be coming for Draco, that's what has him so worked up. He's scared. As vulnerable as that may make him, he is. And you know what?

It's okay. 

Because it means he's human (kind of), as cliche as it is, that's the only thing you can hold on to in a life as messed up as his. A life full of being forced into battle and no acceptance. No say in where his family wants him. 

They took his choice away, and I think that really hurt him. It messed him up more than anyone thinks. 

When you're old enough to decide on your own, imagine having to realize you didn't have a say in any of your options. You were forced into where you stood. Since day one. 

No looking back, but not because you were afraid to or needed to, but because someone held your head and you absolutely could not turn your head to look back and fix it. 

It messes you up. 

He didn't ask to be on the run, didn't ask to kill a man, didn't ask to be involved in such horrid tasks, he just wanted a normal life. 

I turned my back and went back in the bathroom while waiting for him to calm down. He didn't want me to see him like that, I can respect it. 

Also, not to mention I think he had abandonment issues. Someone left him, I think family. And they left him to fend for himself. The day they left probably just replays in his mind, any time he has a chance to sit and think about anything. 

It worries me. 

And trust me, it shouldn't. That's what I hate about it. I'm feeling sympathy towards this guy. Something different from the default; anger, hatred, sick. I felt more than that now, and I was incapable of controlling it. I hate it. Gosh, I really do. 

Finally I walked out because the muffled and almost silent sobs had stopped. Draco wasn't in the room when I walked in. 

I stared at the bed where he laid earlier, only to see the sheets all creased and messy. 

And he never came back, for hours at least. 

It had me worried. I laid in that bed, shirtless and kept my sweatpants on, in case he did show up. But that didn't change the fact that I felt he wasn't going to. 

Hours pass, he still isn't back. 

At this point, I make assumptions. Or maybe theories. I was trying to figure out where he was. What possible scenario's went down. 

I couldn't help but think Voldemort got him. And that thought made me sick. 

And although I was worried, I felt I had to trust him. I don't know if I did at all, but I do know that he'd want me to If this was him just trying to catch his breath. 

So, I decided to wait. 

Not once did I close my eyes, in fear I'd sleep too long and wake up to find no Draco. 

My god, I could not possibly begin to explain how sick this made me. I felt like I should sit by the old rusty toilet (that was ready to fall down the second someone sat on it and leaned a little too far). And sit by it not because I didn't know if I'd vomit, but because I felt I was going to. 

It shouldn't make me so sick, the thought of Malfoy getting caught. But it did. 

I wasn't gonna cry about it, as dramatic as it may seem I really am not going to. I was just expressing my concern, it's therapeutic, alright?

When Draco walked right through the door with two cases and a bag of snacks at three in the morning, you can understand why I was bloody furious. 

I shot up and we stared at each other for a moment, because he had realized I wasn't casual, or calm. It was something else, he couldn't tell what yet, because it didn't say my emotion in my expression. 

So, I chucked one of the hard stiff pillows that I had used earlier and got annoyed with, making sure I hit him right in the chest so it at least hurt a little. 

He dropped the case to catch the pillow, but was too slow and the case dropped on his foot. He yelled 'fuck' but in a more muttered tone, and spun in circles as he held his foot. "Christ, what the hell Potter?!"

"Where the hell were you Draco?!" I yelled, "You can't just disappear on me like that! What if Voldemort got you? Or a death eater?! Or that guy you threatened called his cousins up here to beat the shit out of you? Huh?"

A grin formed slightly, "Cousins?"

"I don't bloody know, you're an idiot that's gonna get us in trouble with the muggles!"

"Calm your tits," he offered me a suit case and the bag of snacks, I knew they were snacks because I could see a few small bag of crisps sticking out, along with an Oreo pack. "I got our suit cases, from the safe house. Figured we'd need them, we hardly have clothes and walking around naked while our one pair is in the wash feels like a step we shouldn't take. I mean not before you buy me dinner, at least." 

I've noticed he likes to joke about stuff like that, and normally I wouldn't find that humor funny, I had an odd humor, but because it was Draco making the joke, I found it funny. For some odd reason, I laughed with a genuine smile growing and didn't question it for a second. 

I softened my expression after a moment, "Don't disappear on me, okay? You've got your abandonment issues, I've got my issues." 

"Abandonment issues? You really think I have-"

"Yes, without question. What sweets did you get?" I poked my head into the bag to avoid an awkward conversation where he shuts me down and doesn't accept that I've seen parts of him he'd never let anyone see, not even me, intentionally at least. As if that bag would save me from the conversation, I dug into it but he pulled the bag back and held eye contact when our eyes met. 

"Abandonment issues?"

I nodded but with a scared twist to it. Draco was unamused, "Why do you insist you know me so well? You hardly know a thing."

"It's not a stretch to say you have a thing with people abandoning you, I mean your dad, in a way? Mum maybe? A family member? Sibling? Friend? Lover?"–I say lover because quite frankly, I'm unsure if he's gay or straight or heck, even bi, it's confusing with him–"You looked terrified when you heard I was gonna go to Hogwarts without you. So imagine how I felt when I saw you weren't here when I got out of the shower. You had me worried."

"But you didn't do anything about it, which means you knew I'd come back." He said nonchalantly as he stole the bag of junk, because he didn't want me digging into it while we were talking. 

"No," I answered finally, "It means, I had to trust you, and I guess that paid off in a way because I feel extremely relieved this didn't get twisted with me leaving and you making assumptions as well and losing each other-"

"I'm gonna stop you right there, because I don't want to hear you ramble. Move over I'm exhausted."

I did as he asked and laid down when he did, we stared at each other for a moment. But I sighed and turned on to my back, Draco sighing as well and turning his back to me. 

Just because we express things even if it's hard does not mean we have to be all soft and sweet with each other. 

Sleep is much more important to me in this moment anyways. 

It took everything even to manage to get some sleep, I just couldn't fall asleep man. What could I do? Honestly? 

You know, I felt like the unhappy wife in a marriage with no excitement anymore and I wanted more than just a boring marriage. That's what I felt like, laying awake and staring at the almost pitch black ceiling while he slept beside me, safe and sound. 

The big light out front that was merely hanging on before the lights gave out was about the only source of light currently, that and the one street light, that too was gonna give out any time soon. 

Sometimes, you'd hear a car pass, or whoever was in the room beside us have sex. They were quite annoying, if I'm honest. 

Sadly, I had to listen to it. Whoever was giving, sure did not last long and the moans were forced, because she didn't want to make whoever feel bad. 

Finally even they had fallen asleep, but I, well I still stared at the ceiling. Occasionally I'd glance at Draco, hoping he would wake suddenly, just to have a conversation with me, one that could help me stop thinking and get drowsy. That never happened. 

He did however, roll over in his sleep and rested his arm on my stomach, nothing more though. 

I furrowed my eyebrows when it happened, but it happens with everyone, honestly. So I didn't really move. 

It didn't change how I was laying, or my lack of sleep, so, I mean, whatever. 

In fact, maybe it kind of helped with getting me to the point where I was drowsy, so I could doze off and finally fall asleep. 

His body warmth was comforting, and even though I'd never admit it, I was okay with it, completely.

I knew it was a boundary between conscious us, one we really don't have to talk about, so I didn't do anything. I let him do it, and didn't return it or anything, he wouldn't appreciate that. 

After awhile, it felt natural. I mean I didn't care that he was doing it, but it just started to feel right, like it could happen more.

He looked peaceful, like he'd wake up with the sun creating a golden outline on him everywhere he walked, like he was gonna wake up and make someone's day, and I'd get to be around that positivity. 

But I knew that wasn't the case. 

He shifted in his sleep and moaned quietly, not sexually I must add. 

I watched him move and then sighed once he stayed in practically the same position, just with his head nuzzled into the pillow, so close to me. 

So he's a cuddler, in his sleep, some people sleep walk, or sleep talk. They can't help it, and he probably can't either. I figured this was the case. 

I heard the couple next door fighting, they were yelling back and forward and maybe even throwing things, I kept hearing thuds. 

It wasn't muffled to the point I couldn't hear, but it was muffled to the point I couldn't make out the argument. 

Then, the girl screamed very loud, causing Draco to wake up and both of us to jump. 

For split second, I thought we'd have to talk about how he has his arm on me and I let him, we stared at each other for a second, both showing concern. But then, there was a gun shot, and then a thud. 

We both shot up with wide eyes and stared at each other. 

"Shit." I muttered when I tried to stand up but Draco grabbed my wrist, "Ignore it, dude."

My eyebrows drew together and I couldn't help but huff, "Really? How sensitive, Draco. Someone probably just got their brains blown out."

"What?" He asked with tired eyes, even though he heard me. But then he realized what I meant and rolled his eyes, "No, I mean don't get involved in whatever just happened. The police will be involved, and I threatened that jackass downstairs, he probably will make a statement and get us in deep shit. So, it's best we don't get involved. When police show up we go. But for now; sleep."

With that, he collapsed back down and tugged the blanket over him more. 

I sighed once I realized he had a point and sat back down on the bed, looking at him because he was looking at me, "You know," I forced a smile, because I didn't want to confront him but because we both saw it I felt I had to, "you cuddle in your sleep."

He shrugged without a second thought, "Yeah, that's why I don't want to share a bed. Makes things weird."

"It's not weird," I responded with slight force and then tensed when he chuckled quietly, "I just mean you did it in your sleep. It's not weird."

"Have you even been to sleep?" 

"No,"

"You look like shit."

I stared because I was offended slightly, but he was probably right, "And you look lovely." I answered sarcastically, because he had bed head. 

Draco just smiled slightly, "Look, we've seen and been through worse than whoever just got murdered, or commit suicide, whoever the gunshot hit, and it's not insensitive to leave it be. We have our reasons, that doesn't make us shitty people."

I just laid down and turned my face to him, "I know. Still sucks though. I'm not someone to leave it to the professionals."

"Believe me," he groaned, but sarcastically. For the first time that was clear it was sarcasm, and not just a way for him to nip at my ego, "I know. You're always in everybody's business."

"It's a talent, really." I joked and caused the two of us to laugh slightly. But soon, it got quiet again. I watched when Draco closed his eyes, his eyelashes touching his cheeks so softly and the dense light hitting his face well enough for his small freckles to pop, freckles you wouldn't notice if you didn't look hard. 

Once again, he was peaceful. Memorizing his features just calmed me so nicely, my heart just felt full and made it very soft and slow for me to close my eyes and feel good enough to fall asleep. Whether I was tired or not, the peaceful tenderness was enough to help me right into that state.

And finally, I had fallen asleep. 

It felt like forever since I slept well, like a full night of no interruptions. Finally I had managed that. And I got to sleep in. 

When I woke, the sun was beaming through the very thin and dusty curtains, and Draco was standing in front of them, the sun creating a golden outline. 

It was how I imagined him looking like last night, it warmed my heart seeing that mental picture come to life. 

I couldn't help but smile when he noticed me. 

"Finally, you're up." He tossed me a shirt and stepped out of the sun, causing it to shine right into my eyes. 

My eyes squinted together as I sat forward to avoid it, watching him walk around the bed and seeing that everything was packed again and he had folded the messed up sheets. 

"Why are you up?" I tugged the shirt over my head, genuinely wondering why he was up. I mean, come on, we get to sleep for once. Who would want to rush it by getting up and packing everything when you could sleep in?

"Police have been knocking all morning, we gotta get going before they start to think we're avoiding."

"They're here?"

"Yeah, assuming it has to do with the gunshot, we'll be 'witnesses' and they'll ask a bunch of questions. Rather not get involved in a murder investigation. So, we should go." 

I watched as he walked down the hall and then back out with his toothbrush and comb, shoving them into a pocket on the bottom of the suitcase. Then, I stood up and watched him a little longer, "I feel bad. What if our information helps them figure it out?"

"What would you even say?"

"That they were banging all night and then suddenly started fighting and then there was a female scream, then boom, death."

"Seriously?" Malfoy scoffed and shook his head, "That's stupid. They can hear it from someone else. We have to go befor-"

There was a knock on the door, and the two of us immediately looked at each other. We then scurried to the door, but Draco stopped me and silently told me to stay still, reaching over to the sink and putting the water in his hands onto my hair, running it through evenly, then putting some in his. 

Confused as ever, I watched him open the door and a cop stood there, his eyebrows pierced with slight confusion when seeing us. 

Draco buttoned up his jeans and then zipped it, smiling at the man, "Yes?"

The police officer coughed, "I'm officer Lewis," he then stepped aside and another man stood beside him, "And this is detective Crawly, he'd like to ask you a few questions."

The police must've been here to make sure we answered this time, in case they had to be forceful. 

The detective was a scrawny little guy, he looked nerdy like me, so you can understand why I was a little excited to see him when I did. 

I beamed, reaching out and shaking his hand. 

The officer walked away once Crawly nodded, "Do you two have any information regarding what went down next door with the woman?"

The two were the only others in this entire building, my guess at least because there was only two cars, the worker and then the couple. 

Draco put a hand on my waist and pulled me closer, "Uh, well she had a boyfriend, husband, or lover I guess. They were.."

He didn't finish, fumbling with the hem of my shirt. I sensed he was struggling to figure out a sentence, so I jumped in, "Last night the two were having a ton of sex, after two or three hours they were arguing, then I heard the woman scream, and the gunshot."

He crossed his arms and nodded like he was interested, but really it probably hardly helped. "You heard it? Can you two tell me what you were doing?"

"Why do we have to answer that?" Draco gave a fake smile when the tiny man nodded nervously, "Well, it's been proven that most..killers..come to motels, and if their target is random, it's usually in a rundow-"

I figured he'd say that, we needed proof, or whatever. 

It's not like they'd find our DNA at the scene or anything, so really it's stupid he even has to ask. 

"Well, we did make love before I fell asleep, their moans and stuff kept my fiancé up all night. He's the one who heard the two arguing. I woke up when I heard the scream, then the gunshot." Draco leaned closer and rested his head on my shoulder with a very forced smile. 

I gave him a smug smile and then looked at the detective, "You don't think we did it, do you?"

That was a stupid question, I regret it the second I asked it. Only a uneducated killer would ask the police that out of nervousness. 

He raised his eyebrows, maybe a slight hint of anxiety, "Er- Well I'm afraid, I cannot answer that. But your input helps. Thank you."

We shut the door slowly once he was out of sight, and then the two of us broke apart. 

"Fiancé?!" I exclaimed, "I don't even have a ring!"

"Well he didn't see that." He muttered, "And we look like a gay couple, ya know? Being in this motel with one bed? Not answering the door all morning? Your bed head? If we were banging, we wouldn't have answered the door. Makes sense."

"Sense? You and I hooking up is probably the only thing that-"

"-makes sense," he didn't want me to finish that, because I knew why he said it and he was in a good mood, so I let him, "Fiancé's, right? They hook up."

"Fiancé's. You realize gay marriage is and will never be legalized, so there's no way detective nerd believed that." I repeated. Draco shrugs with boredom, "What's a paper gonna do? Officially make us married? We shouldn't have to go down to a wedding chapel or summat just because we want to be married, even if we could. Lots of gay people pretend to be married without the law on their side. We're a small percentage of them."

"Doesn't make it any less suspicious, genius."

He snorts, and we turned the other way to get our stuff, but Bellatrix stood right there. 

"Fiancé?!?" She exclaimed, with full sarcasm, but if we didn't know her you wouldn't be able to tell it was sarcasm. "O-m-g!! Congrats you two lovebirds! Finally settling down?"

"Settling down?" Draco laughed, "Yeah, because a wrinkly ballsack and the Disney villain is trying to murder us, of course we're settling down!"

"Who's the Disney villain?" She, genuinely, asked. Literally. 

Both of us looked at each other because we couldn't tell if she was serious or not, smiling slightly. 

I quickly ran forward and grabbed our suit cases, spinning backwards before she could get me and letting Draco catch me in his arms, immediately leaving the motel. 

We were back on the streets, walking quickly the second we realized we were in an alley. 

"How in the bloody hell does that emo moronic piece of bird shit keep finding us?" Draco murmured in a very frustrated tone. 

I knew it was rhetorical, so I didn't respond. 

"I think it's time we actually figure out a plan, Draco." I said as I stopped him. "It's time we get Hermione and Ron involved. We got to take out Bellatrix, and then figure out Voldemort."

"No- No! Under no circumstances will we involve your asshat friends! And besides, Voldemort is weak. We have time before he shows his ugly nose-less face."

"No, seriously, Hermione is good at this stuff. We at least involve her."

Draco paused for a moment but then shook his head-again. "Nope. We can figure out a plan. Okay?"

"Mm, usually I go with what you want," I pat his shoulder, but then smiled when his eyes found mine, "But Hermione is our best bet. Come on."

~

"No." Draco spat, pointing at me when Hermione began explaining the plan. "Absolutely not!" 

We had gone to Hogwarts and met down at Hagrid's house, apparently he's on vacation right now in America, and as it turns out, Ron caught us with Hermione. 

He sat in the corner with his arms crossed as he stared down Draco with death eyes. You could say he wasn't the fondest, especially now that I'm bringing him around. 

"Come on, it's a good plan." I tried to convince him otherwise, but it felt pointless. To the point I half-heartedly did it. 

He shook his head while he swallowed hard, "Breaking into their 'evil lair'? Having Harry and I split up? Me taking the easy way and avoiding all possible guards? No! That's suicide!" 

Ron scoffed dryly, "Since when did you care about Harry dying?"

Draco glanced at him and looked back to me, "You're not dying."

"Like Ron just said, you've hardly shown any concern about me stepping in front of the bullet, what's one more time gonna do?"

"Kill? You?" He gritted his teeth and pointed to Hermione this time, "I go through the g-"

"One has to get caught, okay?!" She yelled, at the both of us, "And Draco, they'll kill you immediately. Voldemort would want to have his last words with Harry, which gives you time to sneak in and take Bellatrix out and then save Harry. This gives you the chance to snoop around, find out what his plan is and then get Harry and prevent it. But they'll be suspicious if someone triggers the alarms and they find nobody."

"I'll be fine," I placed a hand on his shoulder to comfort him because he seemed genuinely concerned. If I didn't know better I would say he's growing fond of me, ya know, to be extremely concerned and show his anxiety, which shows vulnerability, something he makes sure he never does. It shows development. Then, I squeezed, "I won't die. Okay? Hermione would not let me do this if I would die. Voldemort doesn't have enough self control, he'll want to look me in the eye and give a petty speech about how I failed and nobody is there to save me what a shame blah blah blah."

Draco lifted his hand swiftly and knocked mine off his shoulder, "This is suicide. Your own friends would let you-"

"Everything we've been doing is suicide! Draco, listen to me! Nothing we avoid will change that our lives are practically a suicide mission so man the hell up!"

Hermione and Ron stared with wide eyes, waiting for Draco to pounce at me with fists clenched, but he didn't and pouted as he plopped down on the chair. 

I nodded, seeing how that was a little harsh. 

"Give us a moment, please." I said to the other two, who happily scurried out the door. 

I knew they'd be eavesdropping, though. I could see them peeking through the window. I didn't care. 

With that, I sat next to Draco who was watching me intently. 

"We are probably the only people capable of stopping Voldemort. We know more about him than anyone, besides death eaters-"

"I was a death eater, I know him better than you. Which is-"

"No, no." I interrupted softly, "If you know him best, then you know you'd be going on the suicide mission switching places with me. You know he won't kill me immediately."

"Sure, but that's relying on our predictions, and he tries not to be predictable. We're walking into this blind."

I pursed my lips, only slightly, and put a hand on his knee, which he definitely noticed and then looked at me with a confused expression. 

"You need to let me do this." I said quietly, so the other two couldn't hear. 

Draco raised his head to meet my eyes and stared carefully, he could see how serious I was about this. 

I mean yes, I've noticed we're closer, and aren't at each others throats constantly, but it's new to me. I think I liked that we weren't, it was relieving. 

Here and there he snaps about something and I'll respond with something snarky, but it's considered banter now. It's exciting, for me. 

He too knew that we were being eavesdropped on, so he just shook his head, "There's an unspoken rule we have, and it's that we don't let each other die. I won't let you practically kill yourself, it's selfish, Harry."

"It's not selfish when it is our only option. What's selfish is to deny me my right to make a bloody decision."

"I'm not denying you any right, what are you a Christian white woman wanting to speak to the manager? Grow up, Potter, and accept the fact that I just don't want you to die." He gave me a very sarcastic and loud shrug, making it clear he was being slightly petty in a way. 

"I don't even know what that means!" I yelled, groaning as I turned my back. 

"Because you spend your entire life going on suicide missions without giving a shit about who you leave in the process."

"I haven't left anyone and I don't fucking plan on it any time soon so quit your bitching Draco!"

He didn't respond, sitting back and crossing his arms, not even returning the eye contact when I stared him down as I processed what I said. 

Oh, that was harsh. I see. He kind of admit he doesn't want me to leave his life and then I told him to stop bitching, that was cold. 

But I was still heated in the moment and groaned, "And you two," I pointed to the window, "stop eavesdropping and go elsewhere for Christ sake!"

They scurried away when they saw me look at their eyes and I breathed heavily, trying to calm down. 

I shouldn't be so upset, Draco just didn't want me to die. We're kind of in each other's lives now, even if before it was temporary. Now I think it's gonna be a little hard to just split on each other when this is over. 

So yes, I can see why he's upset. 

Then, I sat down beside him, sighing deeply, "I didn't mean that."

He didn't respond and tapped his foot impatiently. It was a little cute, honestly. The way he was trying to play hard to get, in a platonic way but also, maybe not, deep down I knew the patterns to a friendship and these weren't close. But it never crossed my mind that it was possibly more. 

"I know you're afraid.." I started out soft and easy, testing the waters, ya know? It's not something I'd usually do, but I feel like I was too out of line, maybe I still am, either way, nothing can hurt.

I continued, "..of people leaving or betraying you. You've seen me as an enemy your entire life, so when you spent weeks and weeks with me and realized I'm not the type to split or betray, you felt relieved. So when I say I want to break into Voldemort's current location, you got scared, and all that relief went down the drain. I'm sorry."

Draco just cocked an eyebrow slightly, finally looking at me, "You're a dick, extremely self-righteous, partly selfish, a douchebag, and did I mention a fucking arse?" He inhaled sharply and then straightened himself, "But I admire that self-righteous part. You're probably the worlds only hope, and believe me this pains me to admit so enjoy every last second because I will never tell you again. I'll agree to the plan, but know that if you do die, this wasn't the absolute worst trip I've been on. You give me hope, Potter."

He then placed a soft hand on my shoulder and narrowed his eyes, "Thank you."

I smiled softly and nodded in return, because it was flattering to hear him say it. I mean Draco out of all people just told me he admires me, that's gotta count for something. 

"I can guarantee you I enjoyed every second of that speech and it's now memorized word for word, thank you." 

He chuckled slightly and awkwardly, did not say anything back. A tension rises, and we allow it. Both of us wanted to say more, we wanted to admit far more than just admiration and fondness. The subtlety of those confessions weren't enough to get the message across, because Draco is terrified of losing me to Voldemort, probably more than his fear of the dark lord himself. And I've picked up on that recently, so I knew he wanted to say more. He's just not the type of guy to admit stuff like that, he doesn't want to even if it's extremely clear to me as well. And I'm sure he regrets being that type of guy right now, because he ran out of time. 

Hermione and Ron walked back inside once they realized we were done, seeing the two of us watch each other quietly. 

I could feel their confusion, so I looked away and turned to them, "I'm sorry for snapping. We're gonna go with the plan, thank you Hermione."

She hesitantly stood back with a stern nod, while Ron hid in the corner with his arms crossed. He didn't like this weird alliance the two of us had, which I can understand. 

When I smiled softly at her, a small one tugged on her face and she plopped down next to me, "Good luck, Harry."

I pulled her into a tight hug and rubbed her back, watching Ron, "Ronald, I may die, maybe nows the time to man up and hug me."

"You are not going to die." Draco added. 

Hermione chuckled quietly. 

Ron gave in moments later, sitting on my other side between Draco and I. I removed one hand from Hermione and extended it to Ron, so we were all side hugging. 

"You guys are truly the best." I whispered with a short and dry smile. 

I knew this was dangerous, I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have these two to come back to. If I don't do something now, Voldemort might ensure I have no home to come back to. 

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Draco smiling at the group hug we had going. He'd never join this group hug, he was welcome to obviously, but he'd rather sit back and admire how close we were. I could tell he was happy to see us like this, but the second I look at him, he forced his smile in a straight line and avoided my eyes. When I didn't look away, he looked up, returning the stare. 

I nodded, to let him know this wasn't a goodbye. Not that he could know what I meant from a nod, but he nodded back and smiled slightly, so maybe he did understand. I don't know, but it's okay. 

Finally the three of us pulled away, and I turned to Ron. 

"Draco, wait outside please. We'll leave in a second."

He did as I said and left, only because Ron and Hermione did earlier. So he was returning the favor for Ron's sake. 

I squeezed his arm, "I know you don't like our alliance, but it's a little more than just an alliance now. He won't let me die, and I won't let him. It's really good, you have nothing to worry about."

"I don't trust him," he held eye contact, it was quite intense, "what if he tries to betray you? Or make a deal with Voldemort? Saying if he delivers you to him, then he gets his life spared-"

"Look, maybe the old Draco would've done that. But he's..different, or more at least now than he was a few weeks ago. Look, I can protect myself. I'm not relying on him to save me every second. Only when it's necessary. And so far he has absolutely not let me down. So just suck it up and I'll prove you wrong soon, okay?"

Ron just smiled, and I turned to Hermione. 

"Same for you-"

"I trust your judgement." She interrupted, "If you truly think he's changed, then okay. You're not an idiot, you know what you're doing." 

We all smiled at each other for a few seconds, then I pat the twos shoulder, "It's best I get going. Thank you guys for the help, I'll keep in touch but my phone got lost at the old safe house, so it'll always be in person."

"Well, I like socializing better that way anyways." Hermione pulled me in for one last quick and tight hug, and then when she pulled away I took Ron's hand and pulled him in for a quick side hug. 

"I'll keep in touch!"

They waved me off as I rushed out the door, Draco sitting on a rock and staring at his feet. 

He hardly even noticed I walked out the door, didn't look at me once. He was nervous about this. 

I just wanted to go and give him a big bloody hug, but he's not a hugger. So, I sat next to him, "You look like you could use a hug,"

I opened my arms as an offer but he waved me off, "No hug will ever change the fact that we're probably about to die."

"Hugs aren't meant to save lives, Malfoy. It's for comfort."

"Nothing can comfort me."

"Is that a challenge?" I grinned, "When I'm determined I'm pretty hard to shake off." 

He chuckled quietly, "Christ, no. It's not a challenge. I just want a few minutes before we have to go sacrifice pretty much a lot."

"If it makes you feel better, it's not a game of chess. You don't have to sacrifice everything to win. This feels..easy."

"That's why you should be concerned. Nothing is ever this easy when it comes to him. Me out of all people know that."

I frowned at the sight of him showing clear signs of anxiety. 

It really made me wonder; was he always like this? Okay with showing vulnerability? Because he's never done this, he always hides it extremely good.

And for once in my life I've felt bad for him, having to deal with it. We've all felt it once or twice I guess, maybe more, but I think it's more frequent with Draco, now that I know him better. 

"Easy or not, I think we'll manage. All we have to do is outsmart-"

"That's a terrible plan."

"Then- Well, we just figure out what the hell is going on with these idiots instead of running and you give the plan ideas, how about that?"

"Fine with me."

We sat for a moment, but when I stood Draco looked upset, desperate. He knew he had no more time to consider this all, and frowned when I looked down on him. 

I pressed my lips into a tight line and then just sat back down next to him, "A few more minutes, maybe."

"Yeah," he let a shaky breath out and tried to hold in the emotion, but he ended up letting a strained sigh out, maybe even it being a sob. 

I saw there were unintentional tears streaming down his face, he was trying so hard to stop them but nothing was working. He was just overwhelmed. 

Okay, I knew he was afraid of Voldemort, but I didn't realize he had to actually take the last second just to manage to cope before going into battle with him. 

I stared for a second with a frown, and then just pulled him into a tight hug, despite him not wanting it. 

"Come on!" He said weakly, struggling to get out of my grip, "This is a pity hug, I don't want it-"

"You never want a hug, that might be your problem. You didn't grow up with a family of huggers, I grew up with no family. I taught myself to be a hugger, which means you out of all people can be a hugger as well. So accept the affection now or forever-"

"You ramble too much." He practically whispered, resting the side of his head on my shoulder. 

The gesture surprised me, I expected more of a fight before he gave in. But he realized he wanted it, I guess. 

I smiled slightly when I rubbed his shoulder, "If it helps calm you, I assure you that as long as I'm in the building I will do everything in my power to make sure you don't die."

"No," he answered, "If Voldemort gets me, he's gonna want information, on a memoir, from my great great grandparents. I won't die right away."

I pulled away and furrowed my eyebrows out of the pure confusion. He never said anything about a memoir. "You never mentioned that."

"I know where he is, if he got my dad, my dad would've pussied out and told him I know where it is. If I tell you why it's important, then you'll be just as dead as I am when Voldemort gets you. So don't ask what it's about." He forced a weak smile, "If Voldemort gets me, you need to kill me. His plans are deeper than anyone thinks."

I stared, "Draco..If this is life or death, I'd like to know. No, I'd need to know. What is his plan?"

"Use the memoir, possibly expose the wizarding world to muggles-"

"Uh huh," that didn't answer my question, and he already told me he wasn't going to. Only thing that helped was the whole expose wizards to muggles thing. "look, I'm no help unless you tell me what's in the memoir. I-"

"We've already had the conversation about suicide, Potter. Me telling you, that would sign you right up."

"Suicide isn't fun unless you've got yourself a suicide buddy-"

"You just made this conversation even more unbelievably and overwhelmingly depressing, I wanna go before you make it worse."

I chuckled slightly when he cocked a smile and stood, "I'm serious though, I need to know."

He seemed to consider it for a moment, preparing to say it, but then looked away. He changed his mind, so I kept going. 

"He won't find out about my knowledge of it unless you tell him and-"

"Maybe I should, just to piss you off and stop pushing. I've given you my answer."

Okay? Douchebag Draco makes a return. 

Instead of arguing, I just sighed and sat back down, "We should go."

"Dark magic. And locations of the most powerful wands." He murmured, all rushed and without a single flinch. He didn't move a muscle, "That's what's in the memoir. Not just casual dark magic, I mean dark dark magic. If he masters the skill, guess who can kill you within seconds? Or take away your magic so you don't stand a chance? Voldemort. And he wants it, because he does indeed have enemies, we're just the first on his list."

When Draco finally looked up, he softened when he saw me smiling at him, so I opened my mouth to speak so it wasn't awkward, "You'd never give in before. I like this new and improved you, it's..."

"..relieving?" His eyes found mine and I nodded, "The wands?"

"My dad thinks that..he needs these wands to have another elders wand. To make a new one, because he doesn't want to screw up his third chance at killing you."

I chuckle, "Third times a charm, eh?"

Suddenly his face goes blank, only because he answered the only questions to be asked. "I'm not gonna trust you, or rely on you, like, ever, but you're the closest I've ever been to..trusting someone. Harry Potter has a reputation, so far he hasn't let anybody down. That adds to my opinion on you, ya know. I mean the self-righteous thing is a little annoying but at least it means you won't screw me over, hopefully. Doesn't mean I've let my guard-"

"Draco," I interrupted, only because he was rambling. Trying to tell me he wanted to trust me, but because he doesn't trust anybody, he doesn't want me taking advantage of his sudden trust towards me. I get it, sorta, "I won't screw you over. In the end this is an alliance that's developing into whatever the hell this is now, and considering how much we still need to be together- I mean, teamed up, that is, I wouldn't even possibly think of screwing you over. And for what? Just to hurt you? Who do you think I am, man?"

"A self-sacrificing and self-righteous idiot, that's what I think you are."

"You admire it though."

He sighed, "You'll never let me live that down, will you."

"Not as long as we're talking."

"Remind me never to give you the closest thing I'm capable of to a compliment." 

The two of us laughed, and then agreed to get up and start going to Voldemort. It was gonna be a long 'ride' and Draco agreed to a minimum timed conversation. 

He's warming up to me, I can most definitely tell. That or I just caught him in a weak moment, and he was incapable of a snarky comeback every two seconds at the time. Who knows. But I want to go with my first option, it doesn't bruise my ego that way. 

~


	6. Chapter 6

It was the next day, we were an hour away from where Voldemort was. 

Draco convinced himself that there would be hardly any death eaters, barely any of them get the chance to even be in the same room, let alone same building. Most are probably scattered around London and America looking for us. 

Voldemort was somewhere in the forest, Draco and I assumed he had a hidden entrance or summat, and it's reasonable, Voldemort has a tendency to be extra. 

I felt after that conversation the two of us had yesterday that we were a little closer. 

Like, whenever there was a sound of rustling or leaves cracking, Draco would inch closer to me. Not because he was scared, but because if someone was there that he didn't want them getting to me. Basically, he was preparing to protect me from whomever was out there, possibly. 

It was heartwarming, I will admit. 

I stepped on a branch on accident, causing Draco to grab my shoulder, "Did you hear that?

He's paranoid, after all we're about to face his biggest fear that I know of, I can understand the paranoia. 

"That was me, Draco." I answered nonchalantly. 

He responded with a short 'oh..' and we continued walking.

Every step we took, I could sense Draco getting more and more anxious. I was like the careless warrior, walking into battle while Draco was worrying about every single possible outcome. 

And as that supposed 'warrior' I felt it was my job to comfort. That or I just wanted to comfort him in general. 

I stopped walking and stared at him. He stared back in confusion and too stopped walking. 

"Are you gonna be alright?" I searched for any hesitation, any sign that showed he was nervous to answer. 

His eyes shifted and he gave a nervous nod, "Uh huh, are you?"

"Only if you are."

Draco nodded in response–once again, anxious–and pointed in the direction we were heading, "Let's go before it gets dark-"

"I worry about you." I interrupted, staring blankly. 

He stopped moving and turned his head to face me, it was almost as if he was angry, like he'd slap me for saying such a thing, but his eyebrows pressed together, and he gulped, "I think that's the first time anyone's said that to me, consider me flattered, I guess."

"I'm serious," I placed a hand on his shoulder carefully because this could be crossing a line considering we don't stand in a very touchy feely comforting friendship. His eyes scanned my hand but he allowed it, his eyes meeting back with mine, so I continued, "what are you so afraid of that has you jumping at the littlest of sounds?"

Draco barely even sighed, he barely reacted. The only thing moving were his eyes, back and forward between mine. He was trying to decide whether he trusted me or not. Draco wanted to tell me, but because he's a distant guy, he had to refrain. 

It sucked, I wanted him to trust me, because after discussing the plan yesterday one thing is clear; I trust him. 

Question is, has he decided yet or no? 

We stood silently because I was letting him think, it felt like forever, just standing there and watching him debate whether I'm worth opening up to or not. I'll tell you one thing, it sure as hell didn't settle well with my stomach. 

Finally, his facial expression softened and he closed his eyes softly, soon opening them and nodding, "I feel like, if this doesn't go the right way, the way we planned, that I'm walking back into my old life, like I'll have to compromise to keep my life, and Voldemort may allow it. I feel..like I'm about to relive my non freewill of a tragic life again, I can't go through feeling like that again. I'm just..scared," he let a shaky breath out and averted his eyes to his fingernails because he began to fumble with them, "I'm scared." He repeated. 

Look, I know I've said this before, but the old Draco would never do this. I felt so relieved to hear him admit that, but sad that he felt scared. 

It was my job to reassure and that's exactly what I did. After all, it's the least I can do since he opened up. 

"I'd die before I let him get to you, okay?" It's not that I was fond of someone that I wanted to protect–although I did want to protect Draco–it's more of who I am. I'd protect anyone if they needed it, for the right reasons of course. Malfoy knew this, he hated that I was like that I'm guessing. 

He opened his mouth to say something, but stopped because he wasn't ready to make eye contact with me, so his jaw just hung for a few seconds until his eyes met with mine, intensely, and then he said, "That's the whole point. I don't want anyone to die but Voldemort or Bellatrix. I don't want you to sacrifice yourself for some arsehole like me, I won't let you, and that scares me."

"You're scared because you won't let me die?"

"No," He placed his hand on mine, just over his shoulder, "I'm changing and it's your bloody fault. I have to worry about you dying now, and to add to that Voldemort existing. I just-" he paused, "I can't handle the anxiety I'm feeling. I never had to feel it until Voldemort got involved. He makes it hard to feel something other than anxiety."

"I won't die, and I won't let you die-"

"How can you say that for sure?!" He pulled back so my hand would fall and ran his fingers through his now somewhat long hair. Not like it hung low or anything, he had it in a quiff, and it suited him well. It's only long because we haven't had time to even consider cutting our hair. 

I watched him pace and waited for him to turn, soon grabbing his shoulders and making harsh eye contact, "Under no circumstances, will I let him get near you. I understand you're afraid, just let me put you at ease when I assure you neither of us are going to die-"

"Harry." He clapped his hands together, "You don't get it, the chances of us getting out of this 'war' alive are like two percent, we're extremely outnumbered-"

"It never hurts to ask for help. Let's just.. figure this out, go through with the plan, and talk about our next move afterwards, Okay? Just stay close, I won't let anything happen to you."

He didn't believe any of my sappy words, but stuck close nonetheless as we began walking again. 

It was very silent, he still reeked of anxiety, but I didn't stop this time to check on him because we were minutes away from the place. 

There was some abandoned building. It looked like it used to be a military camp. 

We reached the old creaky rusted fence and Draco had already had his wand in his hand. He muttered some spell and the chain and lock holding the gate together hit the concrete. 

It was snowing, so the chains impact barely made a noise except the metal clinking together, but it wasn't so loud anyone else would hear it. 

The two of us only had a scarf and a thin coat, with pants of course. We were both freezing, we had been walking for about an hour, if we traveled any other way we'd easily be detected. 

Draco paused at the gate as I walked through and I stopped to look at him, with patience. 

He didn't look at me and instead eyed all the buildings around us. They definitely looked empty, but we both know they weren't. 

Hermione tracked this place based on the amount of magical energy they were giving off, there's only few places in the world with so many people gathered in the same area, and it's Hogwarts (excluding the other schools), tournaments, and..evil lairs, apparently. 

It wasn't hard to decide which one made most sense to be linked to Voldemort and the death eaters. 

Abandoned buildings in the middle of a forest? Gee I wonder what these people are doing here.

All the abandoned buildings were small, they looked like they used to be fast food stores for people who walked down the pathway. 

When we neared closer to the edge, the trees had begun to separate further and further until we saw a huge..structure. It was too round to be a building, and frankly it barely even passed as one I guess. 

The two of us stared for a moment until Draco pointed, "Recognize the football team? Buckeyes?"

I looked to the sign he pointed at and my eyebrows drew together, "Why the hell would I recognize a football team? I didn't even know what WiFi was until a year ago.."

"We're in Ohio."

Draco and I eyed each other, and then I raised my eyebrows, "You didn't tell me you took us to America?!"

He must've done it when he used his wand to take us to the lair. Why would Voldemort be in America?? That's stupid, too far away from the enemy. The saying goes 'always stay close to your enemy' right? Him out of all people knows that. 

He raised his hands, "Mate, I'm sorry! Hermione knew you'd be against going to America for this fight. I don't know why he's here but he is, so as long as we get in and out, we'll be able to take the war to him, rather than on our turf. It's safer. So let's not blow this."

I turned my head coldly and started walking to the stadium. 

America was far from the UK. I don't like being far from home. Traveling that far via magic is harder than it sounds. It takes a lot of energy. 

Draco must be strong if he managed that and I didn't notice any sign of weakness, not even for a second. 

I didn't realize he was that strong when it came to magic. 

It would take me weeks to prepare for a spell that harsh, and for Draco to do it on command? Hermione must've known he'd be able to. 

It makes you wonder, it makes me wonder. He must be hiding something. 

"Oh come on, don't be like that." Draco groaned and quickly ran forward to catch up with me, "Hermione insisted we came here. Because it's so far, that's why I was afraid to come here with you. If you're hurt, I can't guarantee I know what I'm doing, people at Hogwarts do know what-"

"How did you do that spell? It's far too draining for you to do it on command, unless you have help.." I turned and we held intense cold eye contact, or at least my stare was cold. His was soft, and maybe even a little panicked. 

He scoffed, "What're you suggesting?"

"Nothing, I'm suggesting nothing. It's not that I doubt your strength or anything, but I've seen even the most powerful wizards get drained from traveling that far with a single spell. You haven't even finished your last year at Hogwarts and you managed that? I'd never be able to."

Draco just rolled his eyes, "Come on, Potter, we need to get going."

I just nodded, I'd confront him later. We started walking towards the...stadium. Jeez, this is an abandoned football stadium? Christ, it's..huge. 

Maybe that's a good thing for us though, bad for Voldemort. 

We reached the entrance and carefully avoided stepping on any glass from broken bottles of alcohol and very few bashed in windows. 

The halls were eery, exactly how I'd imagine an abandoned stadium. There were wooden chairs and tables and even some benches scattered all up and down across the walls. The ceiling was caving in easily, mold growing in certain spots. 

We passed the food area, seeing a huge mess of broken class from the popcorn machine, partly plastic as well, a broken register with a few coins scattered around it on the floor, there was graffiti all over the walls and anything left of the ceiling boards. 

It was creepy. 

When Hermione had shown us a generic version of this layout, I had failed to realize it was a stadium. 

But nonetheless I knew where we were going. We studied the crappy drawn layout steadily, Hermione made sure of it so we didn't get lost. 

Draco leaned down and picked up a bottle of beer that wasn't fully empty and a joint, chuckling quietly. He went to put the bottle up to his lips but I hit his arm. 

"Are you bloody insane?!" I whispered angrily. It almost echoed off the walls, but this building hasn't hit that level of old and capability. Over time it'd start echoing, but for now it was stable. 

He only gave a smug grin and offered the bottle, "Right, of course, silly me, ladies first."

"How many times do you have to make a 'ladies first' joke for it to actually start being funny?" I snatched the bottle from him and set it on the table. 

He murmured, "Well it's for my amusement not for your humor-"

I ignored his quiet response and took the joint as well, "First off, either of these could be laced with some shit?! Second, we might die and you want to get drunk and high? No? I'm not here to keep you in check, for at least an hour, behave?"

Draco clicked his tongue effortlessly, and then shrugged, "What more do we have to lose? Honestly our chances would probably be better drunk or high than sober."

"Well, I've never once in my entire life drank or gotten high and you know what? I'm still alive. I'll take that as a sign, you take it as motivation to not screw this up." When I spat slightly he just turned his body and continued walking. 

I felt like a mother lecturing some teenage boy. 

But after a silence, he turned his head as we walked, "So you've never actually drank before?"

"No, Draco, I have not." I said. "I've been far too busy trying to keep my friends and I alive, never had a chance to drink alcohol."

He smiled slightly, "The amount of innocent energy you radiate makes me want to be a self-righteous asshole too and I don't like it, so go get drunk, maybe get a tattoo, murder a guy-"

"Ah, okay, let me stop you right there. Not because the murder part, but because the tattoo part. I'm terrified of needles."

"Well, then I definitely can't picture you od-ing with a needle up your arm-"

I cringed, "Why would you try picturing that?"

"Like I said, you're too innocent. It makes me feel weird, like I have to be some church boy too." He shrugged, but still wore the smuggest of grins he was capable of. 

"I've never stepped foot in a church, and I'm not even entirely sure they'd want me there."

Draco and I continued walking but talked quietly. If there was anyone around, we'd know it. I would, you always can feel someone's eyes. It's not paranoia, more magic, in a way. You can sense presence. Dark, light, all of it. It's easy if you're able to focus. 

"Why's that?" He rested against the wall while waiting for a response. I didn't want to answer, he knew why I wouldn't be welcome in a church. I mean-

"It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

My eyebrows furrowed and I shoved him, not harshly, "No, you twit, I hide behind this righteous mask but you've seen the worst of me, you know I'm not this innocent guy."

There was a short pause before I even saw Draco react. He nodded while his mouth formed a small 'o' shape and he swallowed, "Yeah, actually, I get it. I didn't think the righteous thing was a mask, honestly, but it makes sense."

Then, there was a shadow from down the hall. It made some..weird noise. It reminded me of cicadas'. It was extremely obnoxious, but also, it sounded like a loud drawn cicada noise. It had my heart racing. 

They must've heard us. 

The two of us panicked and Draco grabbed my hip while diving behind the food counter, my body going with him. He did it just in time, I almost grunted but he covered my mouth. 

I saw the huge figure, finally. It was a man, but in a long cloak. A death eater. But this one was different. A fucking scary different. 

I still laid on top of Draco with my mouth covered and wide eyes as the creature passed cautiously. Jesus fuck, things just got weird. And no, not because of the position, but because I have not even the slightest clue what the hell that thing was. 

When I sat up, Draco still held my hip and he too had wide eyes. 

"The fuck was that?" His voice trembled slightly, it reminded me of Ron in a way. He never trembled, but I didn't think much of it at the time. 

I stood up and offered a hand to help him up, "That, my friend, was a sign we should stay the fuck away from it."

Draco let me pull him to his feet and we scurried down the hall in silence in case that dude made a return. 

The room we separate in is only ten feet away, we almost made it, but someone came rushing out of a corner and shoved Draco into a closet. I reacted quickly by pulling my wand out and rushing into the surprisingly big closet, but when I saw Draco's pained and confused face I knew he recognized this person. 

I lowered my wand as I realized this was Lucius when he took his hood off. He had a fistful of Draco's scarf and narrowed his eyes. 

"What do you think you're doing here? Are you trying to get yourself killed?!" 

Draco kicked his father in the shin and shoved him away, "Why the bloody hell are you here?!"

Lucius didn't answer when keeping his eyes steadied on Draco, slowly shifting to me when Draco stood by my side. He gave me a cold judging look when averting his eyes back to Draco, "He knows you're here. He knows, boy. Get out of here-"

"How would he possibly know?" Draco interrupted harshly, "We have tons of cha-"

His face sunk in and I could practically feel the twisted feeling in his stomach, "You..You.."

My eyes flickered between the two because I didn't understand what was happening. Between Draco not being able to finish his sentence and Lucius looking guilty, I was confused. 

Suddenly, my friend lunged at him and I reacted as quickly as I could by grabbing his waist as he yelled, "You selfish bloody wanker! Do you realize what you've just done?!??" His voice sounded scratchy, like he was on the edge of breaking down, "You screwed the entire world just so you could be the last one standing. You bloody arsehole! I'll kill y-"

"Malfoy!" I wrapped an arm around his chest and pulled him back, calming him down. He heaved without taking his eyes off his father, who now had a harsh expression. 

"Don't you dare talk to me-"

Draco shoved me away and tried lunging at him again, but once again, I grabbed his shoulders and held him back, practically wrapping my entire body around him just to keep him there. Yet, he still wiggled in my grip, hard, he was so determined to hurt his father that he was trying his hardest. "You sack of fucking shit he's gonna kill us all-"

Lucius narrowed his eyes again, "Sneak out of this place through the vents. You'll die if you stay." He gestured towards a loose air-vent and quickly rushed out of the closet, shutting the door behind him. 

Draco heaved and suddenly just collapsed to the ground, sobbing. 

The hell was that about?

I kneeled down, "What was that about?"

Obviously, my first instinct was to comfort, but my brain was having the hardest time piecing this together, so I questioned him first. 

He sniffles, to manage his words, "That memoir. My dad..gave it to Voldemort. That kind of magic doesn't exist with the charms we used, there is no loophole. We're screwed."

I placed a secure hand on his knee and that caused him to look at me sadly. I nodded softly, "Then we get it from him."

"If my dad is still alive, he must've negotiated. The book for his life. I'm afraid we're gonna be too late. I don't want to find out. Because if we are, there's nothing we can do." His voice cracked ever so slightly and he pulled his knees into his chest, causing my hand to fall. 

There's always another way to have a comeback and fix it all, me out of all people knew that. I wasn't worried, but maybe that's because I don't fully understand the level of power we're speaking of. 

I'm sure there was a boundary here, like I'm not allowed to physically comfort him, but I didn't recognize a single boundary. There was no unspoken rule stopping me this time. Because it genuinely felt like we had none anymore. 

I softly brought my hand to his head, running my fingers through his hair. It wasn't awkward, like I'd expect. He let me. 

I sat there without a single thought going through my mind. Instead I was nodding slightly as Draco's eyes met with mine. 

He didn't seem to question the gesture either, like it was natural he just let me. 

"We haven't lost just yet," with my softest tone possible, I responded. 

With only receiving a short smile, he wiped his tears away and straightened out his expression. 

"I'll believe you when you prove it." He said. It was clear that the moment was over, so I nonchalantly gave him one last caress, pulling my hand away moments later. 

He awkwardly stood up after processing what just happened, causing me to feel weird about it as well. It's not like I was embarrassed, it's just I'd never do that, to comfort someone I think the most I'd do is a hug. But for me to full on play with his hair? That's an..intimate type thing to do, it's..odd. 

Not in an uncomfortable way, to be fair I don't think we knew how we were supposed to feel about it. 

Draco sniffled once more before pushing the door open and turning back to me, "You coming or you just gonna chill in the closet?"

Well, I suppose it's what I've been doing my whole life, what's a little longer? 

Gosh, I just realized how gay that sounded. That could be interpreted the wrong way. 

I pursed my lips until a smile formed at Draco and he watched me stand and stay behind him, soon walking out and rushed down to the room we were supposed to go to. 

It had a bunch of files, all over the place. 

We were just gonna restate the plan and make sure we were on the same page, but I think Draco and I were more interested in the files. 

I dragged my fingers across the filing boxes and stopped a few rows down. I pulled the drawer open while Draco made his way down the other isle of boxes and cabinets. 

That's when I saw labels, it was names. Names of his enemies, I assume. I used my finger to guide my eyes until I landed on Malfoy. 

At first, I thought it was Draco, but then I read the name next to it. 

Malfoy, Narcissa

There was a big red 'x' over the front of her file. I eye Draco for a second and then open the file after making sure he wasn't gonna see me doing this. 

It had a 'deceased' stamped right next to her picture that was paper clipped to the vanilla folder. 

I couldn't help but frown, and even cringe slightly. Shit. 

The real decision was whether I tell Draco or not. 

All too quickly, I pulled my bag off my shoulders and shoved the file into it without a second thought. 

Hey, I can't let him know about this right now. He just broke down because his dad, it'd only be adding to the stress. 

Swiftly, I closed the cabinet and rushed towards Draco nervously, "I think we should go."

He slowly turned to face me and was holding another vanilla file. 

For a moment I feared he found a copy of his mum's file, but then his eyes found mine and I knew it was about me, not her because Draco nodded disappointedly. 

"These are files of his enemies, the ones he wants to kill."

"Obsessive." I murmured with another look, "But we should go."

He was suspicious of my behavior, but nonetheless agreed as I turned and started heading towards the door with him close behind. 

I checked both ways before turning around to face Draco one last time before setting off. 

"There's no specific spell for this, but uh, I need you to think about me? Hard?"

His eyes widened and he eyed me, "The hell, Potter? You're hitting on me? Here?"

My eyes grew big as well, "What?!!! No! Jesus, that's not what I meant! I mean, I need you to think about me if anything happens. As long as you're thinking, my wand will get a vibration. It used to be an old communication system wizards used long before wands were a thing. That way I'll know if you're in danger."

He sent me a short nod, "Ok..vice versa?"

I smiled and nodded and he returned the gesture, placing a hand on my shoulder, "We've got nothing to lose, I guess."

That was a lie, I didn't want him to die and he didn't want me to. But instead of protesting, I only nodded and quickly avoided eye contact when I turned back around. 

In one swift movement, I started running down the hallway. I was the distraction. Draco had ran the other way and I made my way towards the field, where–according to Hermione–they were the majority of the time. 

I cruised the lonely and dim halls cautiously and kept an eye out for that creepy creature we saw earlier. There was no sign of it, but you can never be too careful. 

It was quiet when I arrived at the door, and there was a stage on the opposite side of the field. 

The stage was built like it was made by all the death eaters, extremely uneven, gross, all that. 

Nobody stood there, anywhere, actually. From where I could see, I saw nobody in the stands either. But who knows, maybe someone was hiding. This place was too big for me to be sure. 

Draco was supposed to be snooping, and now that we know Voldemort has the memoir of spells, that's probably his main priority. 

This 'mission' was just to find out more about this plan of the dark lord. We were walking in blind, sure, but an extremely well step by step type plan would even be messy, so either way it wouldn't help. So, we didn't plan much, just basics. 

There's no way we'd snoop and Voldemort wouldn't find out, and he might slip up about something in his stupid talks he gives. 

He's too petty not to give a talk. 

So, I get caught, and he might slip up about something. Either way I'd get caught. One of us has to at least. 

I walk further down the field while keeping an eye out for any movement, until I reach the middle, and then a door slams shut. I turn quickly to see who it is, but nobody was there. 

Then all the stadium lights turn on, one by one and blinding me. My eyes follow them all the way around until the one in the direction of the stage doesn't turn on. 

It takes a few seconds, and then flickers on, a figure standing in the way of it. It was Voldemort, I recognized him immediately. 

"Harry Potter," His voice sounds the same, all too familiar. His tone was like a head master at the school, wise and noble. But he was quite the opposite. 

Voldemort has wide eyes, but they were naturally like that, "come to surrender?"

I made a stupid face and judged him almost, but quickly straightened it, "America? Why here?"

"Because, it takes quite"–he fumbled with his wand and stared up–"a bit of magic..to get here. Dumbledore is dead, he would've been the only one I know capable of it. So that leads me to my next question. How did you.." he pointed, "get here?"

"On my own." I walked forward, eyeing the stands still. I was afraid somebody would pop up. 

Voldemort was skeptical, he didn't believe a single word I said. And I mean why would he? Even I know I'm not strong enough to travel this far via magic. Not even years of experience with magic would get me enough to make it here. 

He flew forward, towards me. So we were closer. 

"You're here alone?"

I gave a satisfied nod, "Sure am."

He returned the petty gesture and sent me a fake frown, "Given up so soon? The battles barely begun."

"No one said anything about giving up.."

Usually, I'd fight back, no petty conversation, but I was buying Draco time. If he had a chance at finding the memoir this is what will help him get it without getting caught. 

I gripped my wand tighter when I saw that creature on the stage, standing a few feet apart from Lucius.

Voldemort glanced behind him and raised his nonexistent eyebrows, "Ah, you've met the Malfoy's, haven't you? After all you seem to be quite fond of Draco..Malfoy."

I tilted my head as I returned my eyes onto him, "How do you know about Draco?"

"Sources."

He means Bellatrix, she must've romanticized things when reporting back like the obedient dog she is. 

I pieced that bit together but like I said, buying time. 

The creature was not a Malfoy. Last I checked Lucius and Draco were the last ones left. Sadly, I don't know much about his mum, but I know for sure she's gone. 

To be fair, he never talks about her. 

When I nodded Voldemort just pointed his wand and started floating towards the stage, me unwillingly following behind. I didn't resist it, however. It had to happen. 

"You've made this almost too easy, why?"

I didn't answer. 

He wanted me dead, and I'm practically delivering myself currently, what more could the dark lord himself ask for? 

Voldemort dropped me to the ground and pointed his wand at my throat. I lifted my head, to avoid it touching me. 

"There's a catch, you Potter's simply do not give up." He spat with pure anger. 

What did you want me to say? Draco's snooping and-

Suddenly his wand pointed to all the stands and all the death eaters appeared with magic. All the stands were filled with them. 

Lucius and the unnatural creature watched. 

I swallowed a thick lump and side eyed them all. Christ, he always has to do more than necessary. 

"Now," his dreary horrifying eyes met with mine, "have you come to surrender and prevent a war? Or have to come to start one?"

"Oh, but ours was never finished, you see. You're still here." 

He smirked smugly and we both pointed our wands. Immediately both our magic met in the middle, but his was far too strong. Stronger than I could even remember. 

He overpowered me, and his magic struck me and caused me to go flying back a bunch of feet. 

My head collided with the fence, but the death eaters stuck their hands through it while the rest cheered. I quickly backed up from the fence and swiftly turned to Voldemort, who was no longer standing in the spot he was in before. 

I turned every direction but didn't see him. One last time, I turned behind me and there he was, a wand pointed at me. He gave me no time to react and struck me again. 

"I'll give you a merciful death if you surrender. I'm a man of my word, Potter-"

"In your bloody dreams." I muttered as I struck him, rolling out of the way and dodging his. 

It only knocked him backwards slightly, it wasn't enough to buy myself time. 

Voldemort avoided the more streaks of magic I shot at him effortlessly and tapped his chin, "If there's one thing I learned about having Draco Malfoy work for me, is he didn't have the heart to complete my tasks. He's pathetic, and was never truly dedicated. He's not good at doing ones dirty work. If you want it done right, you've gotta do it yourself. You should take that saying more seriously, Potter." 

Once more, he struck me again and this time I stayed glued to the fence, because the death eaters held my body through the fence. 

I tried to wriggle out of their grip, but I couldn't. Voldemort went back to the stage and then used his hand to gesture at the door. 

Bellatrix waltzed in with pettiness with Draco in her hand. She held him by his hair. 

"Let go of me you crackhead-"

She pulled him to the stage and his eyes met with mine. He shook his head. 

He didn't have the memoir. 

I looked away immediately and frowned so nobody could see. I didn't like seeing Draco like that. 

"Next time you pay a visit, remember to do the dirty work yourself." Voldemort walked over to Draco and took his wand from him, snapping it in half. 

You could see the pain Draco felt behind his blank mask. It pained me as well, only because he was trying to hide it. 

"Next time?" I called out. 

He smiled slightly, "Next time." Voldemort repeated my words as he grabbed Draco's chin and made him look into his eyes. Lucius winced when Voldemort pointed his wand. 

"Your father is a dishonorable man, Draco." A cloud of magic appeared above the stadium. 

It showed Lucius talking to Bellatrix. 

"Please, I beg you, if you spare my life, I'll return the favor-"

She narrowed her eyes, "I don't need your protection."

His face dropped and his mouth formed into the shape of an 'o' once again. 

Bellatrix pulled her wand out and got Lucius onto his knee's, but before she could finish the 'avada kedavra' curse, Lucius wailed, "Please! I can bring back Voldemort!"

She slowly lowered her wand as he kept his hands up when reaching for his own wand, waving it and the memoir appearing in his hands. It looked centuries old, the pages were stained yellow and the leather or fabric was ripping apart. 

Then, the clouds disappeared with a 'poof' noise and Voldemort crosses his hands, "He had a choice, his life or the entire wizarding worlds life. He chose..his." 

Voldemort's eyes shifted, "Funny, how a simple choice can ruin everything. One moment is all it takes to destroy the whole world, and your father didn't bat an eye."

Lucius fell to his knee's same as Draco. 

But now, Draco was able to stand up. He did, and looked to me to see if I was okay. Voldemort's eyes landed on me as well and suddenly I was flying towards them. 

He set me next to Lucius, now both of us on our knees. 

"Think of..your father..as your life, and think of Harry as your world. Given the choice, who lives?" Voldemort was testing him, seeing if he too was honorable. It was clear manipulation, but he was too messed up from being scared of Voldemort to realize that. 

His eyes flickered between us, when suddenly stopping on me. 

My eyes widened ever so slightly and I furiously shook my head, "No- Draco no you'll regret that decision your entire life. Do not choose me over your father. Do NOT choose me. Do you hear me?! Draco-"

My mouth was practically glued shut and all that could come out was loud hums or groans. Voldemort lowered his wand and held it with both his hands while awaiting a decision. 

Draco and I held eye contact for a moment until he slowly pointed to me, "Harry." He answered weakly. 

My face sunk in and I stopped being so tense, shaking my head at him. 

He just signed his own fathers death sentence, you don't come out of something that cruel the same. 

Voldemort grinned, "Interesting.."

With his wand, Voldemort murmured something and blood started flowing out of Lucius' eyes, nose, and ears. He started to wail in pain as Draco kept his eyes shut tight. 

Soon, his father collapsed to the ground and Draco finally opened his eyes. They were a dark red and you could tell he wanted to release his emotions. Specifically his pain. 

I glanced at his dad and immediately looked away. 

"Is it possible..Draco Malfoy has grown fond of the legend Harry Potter himself?" Voldemort was circling us, when finally I could move again. 

This is all just a test. He's gonna use it against us later, I know it. 

"So fond that he got his own father murdered just to keep some boy alive? Hm, very interesting." 

Draco pulled me up off the ground and quickly stared, his eyes wandering all over me to make sure I was okay. 

There were a few cuts scattered across my face and he definitely noticed them because there was blood streaming not far from it but nonetheless I was bleeding. 

His hands ran over it slightly and then he pulled me into a tight embrace. It was so unbelievably unlike him, but I think he seriously needed a hug right now anyways. He did just choose me over his father, that's gotta hurt. 

And I think because that decision said a lot, he felt it was okay to hug me. 

"Are you okay?" He whispered. 

"I'm fine." I nodded into his shoulder and his hand found the back of my head and he tightened his embrace. 

"I'm sorry."

I pulled away and nodded at him, he'd regret it for sure, but now wasn't the time to lecture him about his foolish decision. 

"Like I said, there'll be a next time. I've got all I need." Voldemort opened the doors with magic and gestured, "Good seeing you two again."

I glared slightly but Draco didn't hesitate to grab me. 

Immediately everything started spinning. It made me feel drowsy, in a way. 

We were on a beach, of a lake. 

He sat down, almost like he fell, and stared at the water blankly. There were tiny waves, it wasn't cold enough for the lake to be frozen. 

The thing is, I don't think he's ever been to America, which means we came here randomly. If you don't know the area, it'll be random when you go there. This must be random. 

I sat slightly to his side, but a little far back. 

He wasn't crying, no, he just..looked empty. Like he had nothing else left. 

I didn't have the guts to say anything. From now on I'm a walking reminder his father is dead, it's best I keep quiet right now. 

"I just killed my dad." He whispered. 

"No, Voldemort did." Did you expect me to tell him he chose me over his father? No, who do you think I am? A monster? 

"Yeah but he gave me a choice-"

"It was a test. And in his eyes, you succeeded."

"I don't want to succeed in his eyes. I don't want anything to do with him-"

"Draco!" I raised my voice, but softly. "I don't think you made the right choice, sure, but he wants you to blame yourself. That's the whole point of that test. He's gonna tear you piece by piece until one last time before he ends us. You can't let him win-"

"With that memoir, he already has."

This time I didn't respond, I didn't want to continue protesting when he clearly didn't want to hear it from me. 

Draco sighed, "Let's find a hotel, okay?" 

I shot up at the thought and watched him in surprise as he stood up, holding a hand out. I took it and stood with him as we started walking off the beach. 

We started walking down the beach to the first person we saw and asked where the nearest hotel was, and they told us a few miles away. It was one on the beach, but hey, it's a place to stay until we go back to the UK. 

We walked to the hotel in silence. I didn't know what I was supposed to say. I felt bad!

Draco let me get us a room, this time they had a two bed room available. 

When we got to the room, Draco immediately went to the phone for room service. 

He plopped down on the bed and waited for someone to pick up the hotel phone. 

"Room.."

I frowned slightly when his eyes met mine, "214."

"Room 214, your finest bottle of bourbon, kind-"

He furrowed his eyebrows, "What? Just- listen get me- Oh, oh okay, that's fine. Thanks. 

Draco set the phone down and scurried over to the fridge which was behind me, pulling a beer out of it and popping the cap off, "It's been a long day." He muttered when passing me. 

"Are you even old enough to drink?" I giggled slightly when I saw him fall backwards into the sheets. 

He shook his head, "In London, I am. America? No."

I nodded and sat down next to him, because that's what I thought. Despite there being a whole other bed next to us, I wanted to sit by him. 

I laid down so our faces were the same level, "I'm sorry you chose me over your dad. You shouldn't have had to make that decision."

His eyes flickered between mine and then he turned to the ceiling, "It was my choice. All I found out was he wants to expose the wizarding world, get everyone but him and his followers killed. He basically wants to wipe out all of humanity. He's basically hitler."

"Ah, yes, just what we needed." 

Draco chuckled and pressed the bottle to his lips, facing me again, "I think today is a very good day to lose your alcohol virginity."

"Alcohol virginity? What-" 

He pushed the bottle closer to my lips until I rolled my eyes, "You're torturing yourself. Alcohol won't solve anything."

He scoffed, "Fuck you, Potter."

I ignored him and grabbed the bottle, and setting it on the table as he watched. I leaned closer so I was in his face, "Don't do this to yourself. Self-medicating? It's toxic. Talk to me, alright?"

"Last I bloody checked you weren't a therapist and drinking alcohol doesn't necessarily mean I'm self-medicating-"

I shoved his hand away when he tried to reach for it again, "You just killed your father, or at least signed his death sentence. You chose me over him, I'm a walking reminder you lost your dad. I'm your enemy, which makes this worse. You don't want to talk to me because of that, and because you're scared to be vulnerable."

He fumbled with his sleeves and averted his eyes to his lap. Draco tried his hardest to ignore me, but I didn't let him. 

So, I crossed my legs, "I can't sleep, half the time. After Voldemort, I imagine waking up to him alive again, and my loved ones laying on the ground, lifeless. I fear if I get too attached to someone, they'll get taken away from me. That's why I won't date Ron's sister anymore, he needs her more than I do. I'm afraid to relax, because I'll get caught off guard. But every time you're near me, that fear disappears, I can sleep when you're around, I'm not sure how I feel about it."

If I was gonna get him to talk, I have to be vulnerable too. Maybe that was an odd approach, but if I've learned anything, it's that he doesn't like being weak. Vulnerability shows weakness, he's aware of this. 

In my eyes, it doesn't make him weak. It shows a side to him that nobody gets to see. Showing me it would make him courageous. 

Draco looked up and stared at me for a few seconds, then draped the sheets around his shoulders and let them hang for comfort. He brought his knees to his chest and hugged them, "Im afraid Voldemort will take everything I have left. Which isn't a lot. And somehow, I still have everything to lose."

My eyes found his and I couldn't help but feel a little upset. I mean, he didn't deserve this shit. 

Draco continued after a moment, "My father was a dick, I'll admit that bit, but he didn't deserve to die. Making that decision is something I have to live with my entire life, I don't know why I made that decision, but I did."

I placed my hand on his knee to at least comfort, "Make the decision worth it, then. Was I worth choosing over your fathers life? Only you can answer that."

Good advice, huh? Not really. 

I felt satisfied with my response. I'm not sure how he'd take it, or interpret it, but I got my point across. 

"I don't think that decision will ever be okay, no matter what I feel. If that's what you were implying, obviously."

Implying? I don't know what I was implying, so I stayed quiet and let him continue. 

He gave a sad smile, "I hope you're worth this shit Potter, otherwise I just did a terrible thing and I might kill you one day if you aren't who I think you are."

I leaned forward slightly and almost whispered, "And who am I to you, Malfoy?"

He pinched his eyebrows after breaking the eye contact and sighed, "Flirting won't help you be worthy, Potter."

"Worth a shot." I shrugged it off and leaned back with a small smile because he almost laughed. 

A small silence flooded over us. Maybe..now was a good time to bring up his mum. He was feeling vulnerable, but I was too. And if I'm vulnerable when presenting this new draining information, he'll feel at least a little bit better about it. Hopefully. 

My mindset could just be completely fucked but eh, ya know. 

Im gonna go with it. 

He saw my nervous expression and tilted his head subtly, staring like I just announced some crack addiction. 

I leaned over to the side and picked my bag up, hesitantly pulling out the vanilla folder and handing it to him cautiously. 

"What is this, Harry?" His eyes flickered anxiously between the folder and I and he grabbed it harshly. I think he recognized the folder, because we were looking at them earlier. 

He swallowed hard and opened it when I didn't answer. He scanned the page and you could see the look of hope wash away and his face go blank. 

"What is this?!!?" He asked once more with an angered tone. Tears were threatening to spill and he flipped through the information given, "Harry- Where did you get this?! Don't just bloody ignore me! Tell me where the hell this came from!"

He spat in my face, and I was a little afraid if I'm honest. Not of him, but afraid I just ruined him by letting him see it. 

I squinted my eyes from seeing him in pain, he was barely handling this. Me not responding must've not helped. 

"Harr-" His voice cracked and he couldn't hold the tears any longer. They streamed down his face and he threw his arm around the front of his face and covered his mouth from shock, sniffling every now and then. He began to hyperventilate, just slightly and sobbed hard. 

I shoved the papers to the side and wrapped my arms around him in an instant. Look, I didn't have the guts to respond to him. If I did I'd confirm what he already knew, and there's a difference in knowing she's dead and then it getting confirmed who killed her. Big difference. 

He just needed to process before details. 

Draco let his arms fall to the side and then they wrapped around my body and hugged me tightly as he cried into my shoulder. Sure, I was getting soaked, but I felt like he needed this. 

"Im here," I whispered. 

And the reason I said that was because; he had nobody left in his mind. Maybe his mum wasn't around (because she's dead, not deadbeat), but now that she's gone, he needed reassurance he wasn't alone. 

"I'm not going anywhere, Draco. I promise you that. Your family may be gone," I pulled away to look him in he eye, "but you are absolutely not alone. No matter what terms we're on I'll be there, even if you don't want me to be. I promise you this."

He sobbed harder and I pulled him back in. 

Hey, that's what I would've wanted when I grew up. I would've wanted somebody to say that to me, and mean it. I needed someone, and nobody was there. 

And I feel, I could make a huge difference if Draco had what I never did, a shoulder to cry on. It makes a big difference, when you trust someone so much to be vulnerable like that around them. I've never had that. I've always wanted it though.


	7. Chapter 7

"I've just realized," Draco said, staring at the ceiling with pure emptiness. He then looked at my eyes to the side, "I'm an orphan now."

I raised an eyebrow. 

He was kind of empty mentally right now. I don't think he was able to process much, and for him this all just got hysterical. 

I can only imagine. Not really though, because I've lost family at an age I had to process it, but I never was able to. 

In the end, Voldemort ruins you. 

"You'd think it'd be easy to process the fact that you have no parents, like 'oh wow, okay get over it' but it's more than that. You feel like you lost a part of you."

I nodded in agreement. There was always this mental pain that just got so overwhelming if you thought about it and then it'd start to cause you physical pain in your chest. The thought of losing everyone you love fucking hurts, versus actually losing them, it's even worse. 

Draco eyed me and then laughed with dryness, "Shit, I forgot who I'm talking to."

I smiled and hummed in response. 

Draco's dry responses and expressions were the reason I wanted to help him through it. I've been through the same, losing family isn't easy. 

His hesitant expression caused me to tilt my head out of curiosity. "What am I supposed to do when I walk down the isle?!?"

"You walk down it?" I smirked. 

Draco widened his eyes and immediately sat up so our eyes were the same level, "Wait I didn't- That isn't what I- Ah, fuck."

"I think you just accidentally came out, Malfoy." 

"I mean, yeah." 

I couldn't help but giggle and bite my lip. I mean I'm not really surprised, at this point he kind of just subtly flirts a lot. That and I've never seen him with a woman. 

So was I surprised? Not really. 

Did the concept make me uncomfortable? Only because it wasn't socially accepted. I envy him, he's confident about it. 

Instead of making it awkward, making Draco feel like he had to explain, I rubbed my knees and sighed, "We should get back to London. Update Hermione and Ron. Figure out what happens next."

Draco pouts, "I'm tired of having to plan our next move every five seconds."

Me too, bud. Me too. 

The two of us jumped when the phone rang. It wasn't supposed to ring. It didn't receive calls. 

Draco and I shared the same skeptical look and then I reached forward and took it, releasing a breath I didn't know I was holding. 

"Hello?"

"Harry?!" A female voice exclaimed. 

"Uh, yes?"

She exhaled sharply, "Thank god, it's Hermione. I wasn't sure I did that locators spell correctly. How's Ohio?"

Draco gave a questioning look and I mouthed 'Hermione' and he nodded with a quiet 'ohh'. 

I straightened my posture, "Hermione! Hey, Ohio is..eery, I guess. I feel like everywhere I look is like some ghost-town." 

She giggled, "Right, heard they have good corn."

"Why're you calling, Hermione?"

She seemed to be nervous, and I read the pause as hesitation. "I uh..think you should turn the news on. And then immediately come to Hogwarts. Okay?"

"Why-"

"Just do it, you'll see."

The line went dead and I immediately grabbed the television remote and sat close with Draco. 

"What is it?" He asked. 

"I don't know." I watched the color appear and the news. 

There was a sweet beautiful brunette sitting on the screen with calm eyes. She took a deep breath, "Mysterious man invades London, U.K. with what appears to be an army of followers. Our sources say that he claims that there is an entire world of people with magic, and that their leader–Harry Potter–is plotting a war against humans. It has yet to be confirmed whether this man is delusional or not. Five policemen have already been killed when they attempted to stop this man. It looks as if he is shooting fireworks out of a-"

Draco grabbed the remote from me and muted the tv. He immediately stood up and grabbed my coat, "We have to go. If he's exposing us, it's not long before he convinces the bloody queen to arrange an attack on Hogwarts."

It just then occurred to me; Draco is concerned for the safety of Hogwarts. I think my heart is in pain, I'm pretty sure, because Christ I feel so good about that for some reason. 

He tossed my coat my way and I caught it as I tugged my arms through the sleeves and kicked my shoes on. 

"Do you have enough energy for this?" I wanted to be cautious. I mean there was no way he could make this trip all in one day, did I mention twice?

He pulled his gloves on and gave a not-so-confident shrug, "Sure, you might have to drag me to your room but I mean," with a shrug, he pulled his wand out and grabbed the suit cases, wheeling one my way. 

I nodded as I grabbed his hand, awaiting the nauseousness. But it didn't come as soon as I expected. Draco seemed to be mentally preparing himself when I glanced over. 

"Are you..okay?"

Draco shook his head, "Yeah, sure. It's just the distance and traveling via magic..it's draining."

I nodded and squeezed his hand, "Take your time. It's not like the wizarding world is on the brink of collapsing or anything." 

I tried to joke, but Draco only smiled in my direction and took a small breath, "Okay."

Seconds later, things started to spin and then we were outside of Hogwarts. 

I caught Draco when his legs gave in and wrapped his arm around my neck, whispering, "I've got you,"

He seemed weak and his eyes were drooping, not..that I didn't expect that. I can only imagine magic draining you that much. If he keeps it up, he'll die. 

Safe to say from here on out Draco's magic abilities are on suspension, signed by me. Thanks. 

I dragged him and the suit cases up the hill and soon into the building.

The outside looks even gloomier than Ohio did, with the fog over the lake. 

On the inside everyone ran wild and were screaming. I barely managed to get past them all without one of them running into us. 

Finally, and slowly, I entered my room where Hermione and Ron were holding each other close while Neville sat in the corner with his legs tucked into his chest. 

Hermione gasped when she saw me and immediately ran over and helped me with Draco, "What the bloody hell happened?"

"Did you think it's easy traveling countries with magic?" Draco spat weakly as we laid him on my bed. 

"I don't know you dick, it's practically impossible-"

"Oh, piss off mudblood, your lord and savior Harry Potter got here safe and sound." He tried but coughed near the end because I kneed his hip. 

Hermione gave a mocking look and then turned to me, "What're we gonna do??!"

Before I even could brainstorm ideas, we were interrupted. 

Neville gasped, "Harry!!!! Oh my god! You're back! We were all so bloody worried, lad! We all thought Draco Malfoy ran off and murdered you in-"

Draco sat up and his eyebrows furrowed–still weak–and Neville sat there with a dumbfounded expression. 

I placed a hand on Draco's shoulder so he didn't say anything snappish, so he'd take it as a calming gesture. Neville closed his mouth and then nodded to himself, scurrying off his bed and out of the room. 

"Pathetic grimy bitch." Draco murmured angrily. Ron kicked the leg of the bed and gave Draco a look, as Draco held his hands up as if he was surrendering. 

I turned, "He wants a war, so we give him one."

In response, Draco made it known he disapproved and turned as well, "Problem solver of the year. It's like giving a drug addict a pound of cocaine and calling it AA. You're just fueling the fire, man. Why don't we just ignore it and piss him off?"

Did he have a point? Meh, I mean, maybe. 

Ron almost laughed, "And that isn't fueling the fire? If he knows we're ignoring him he'll see it as disrespect and guess who dies?"

"You, I'm hoping." He spat. 

Ron tried to lunge at him but Hermione pushed him backwards so he landed on the bed and then she crossed her arms, "Bickering won't help!"

I sat beside Draco, "No, but neither will you guys. Hogwarts has suffered enough. We can't-"

"Oh my god! How is that even a fucking option?!" Hermione didn't usually swear, but when she did it was bloody terrifying. I was taken by surprise, to be honest. "I think we should give him the war. Besides, he's back now. The war from before is still on! We have no choice here, it's time, Harry."

"Everybody will die! He's using dark magic, something absolutely none of us are educated on? You are trying to commit suicide, you-" Draco tried. 

I cut him off before he could get his insult out there and whispered, "If anyone knows anything about the book, or the magic itself, it's you."

"You mean like fight fire with fire?"

I tilted my head, "I..suppose it's something like that. But not the expressions actual meaning. I mean..fight black magic with black magic..yeah."

Draco eyed Hermione and Ron, "Leave."

The two opened their mouths to argue but I nodded at them and towards the door. They obeyed with my nod and left the room so the two of us could talk. 

He was very nervous to say whatever he had to, but he trusted me, and I knew this, so I was patient. My patience seemed to be appreciated because he placed his hand on my knee, "I'm gonna tell you something, and I don't want you to get mad. I just want you to know it."

Okay, back up, that actually scared me to hear. He's warning me? Did he get someone pregnant and he feels like I should know or-

"I..used to study the magic. The dark magic."

I widened my eyes, "What?!!? Isn't that like..life threatening? Draco, if the magic overwhelms you, you'd cease to exist what-"

"I know!" He groaned, "But I know what I'm doing. I knew I'd use it against Voldemort one day. But the only way we beat him is if we are the same level of magic as him. I can handle it."

I didn't respond. 

He searched for any reaction in my eyes and face, but then looked away because he didn't want to look pathetic. 

Now that I'm thinking about it, this explains how he could travel from country to country via magic. 

And he seemed okay, I haven't noticed anything that changed with him. He seems to be handling it. 

"Okay,"

Draco looked up at me with hope. 

"I trust you. I think you can handle it."

I watched as a smile tugged at the corner of his lips and he bit the edge to stop his excitement, "Yeah?"

I nodded and smiled, and he said, "Cool. Yes. Okay."

He excitedly sat back and turned his body to me, "We need the memoir. I have an idea."

"What's the idea?" My eyes got a little skeptical but Draco brushed it off. "I think I can bring someone back from the dead."

"What? No-" I stopped and huffed, "Who?"

"You."

My eyes widened again as I shook my head, "What?!!"

Draco tried to reassure but I'm not sure it worked. "The element of surprise is key for us. I genuinely think I can do it and if I didn't I wouldn't even suggest it. If you aren't alive, Voldemort will take the opportunity to come for me. He knows the two of us are stronger than most would think, you being you and me with the black magic. You can sense when someone in the room uses it. He knows I am. So, if he comes for Hogwarts, I'll bring you back and we can have the opportunity to take him down."

"That's..not only dangerous but I think we'd be fools to even risk that." I stared hard because I couldn't tell if he was serious or not. Something in my brain just didn't process this. 

"We'd be fools if we didn't take risks right now."

I frowned, "Draco listen, we did something like that the first time, we can't do it again. We'd be predictable." 

"Predictable!?" He exclaimed. Before I could elaborate, we heard a muffled conversation from the hall, of what sounded like an argument. 

I stood up to go walk towards it, but I stopped when some girl walked through after pushing past Hermione. Hermione must've told her we were talking and didn't want anyone in the room. 

"Draco!" She said when her eyes landed on him. Draco stood, "Pansy!"

They both collided and started hugging, tightly I might add. I took a small step back and awkwardly crossed my arms, watching the hug go on for what felt like forever. 

I'm not sure I even know who Pansy is. 

I know Draco is gay, but what if he's bi? And is interested in her. Shouldn't I know that?

Fuck if I should. It's not my business I don't know what I'm even thinking. 

I cleared my throat, causing the two to break away and look at me. 

Draco had a smug look when his eyes landed on me, but 'Pansy' seemed interested in me. 

"Harry Potter, I've heard about you. All this arse ever does is talk about you." She giggled, pointing at Draco. 

I reached my hand out and shook hers while Draco nudged her. 

"She left out the part where it's usually trash talking you." 

"Yeah, that sounds more realistic." I smiled slightly and pulled back, "So uh..you two together?"

Pansy widened her eyes, "Draco and I?! Please no. He's not my type."

His eyebrows furrowed and then she gestured behind her to Hermione, "She's more my type."

A sigh of relief escaped my body and I nodded with a smile as Hermione blushed and stepped out of the room with awkwardness. 

"Why do you ask, Potter." Draco wrapped an arm around her and my eyes following his arm, meeting back with his eyes. "Jealous..?" He added. 

I panicked and immediately shook my head when swallowing loudly, "No- no no, I'm not. No. Just..making small talk."

Pansy rolled her eyes and shrugged Draco's hand off her shoulder, "Don't use me to solve your weird sexual tension. I'm not part of this. I just wanted to check on you, Draco."

The two of us widened our eyes more but I stayed silent. Sexual tension?!! What???

I know we've been getting closer but there's never been a sexual tension? And how would she know? I've only just met her. 

"Pansy." Draco murmured, "It's not like that."

She nodded sarcastically, "Right..."

Draco rolled his eyes and then sighed, turning around. "Where's Blaise at?"

She scoffed, "How should I know? Dude ran off."

Hermione was back in the room and Pansy turned with him, staring at my friend smugly. 

I stepped between the two and walked over to Hermione, "Where's Ron?"

She furrowed her eyebrows and quickly looked outside the door, "Shit, I don't know. I haven't seen him in awhile!"

I glanced at Draco nervously and he let go of Pansy, walking forward, "Well come on then, he couldn't have gone far. We can go look for him."

"I..could do that locators spell?" Hermione suggested as Draco placed a soft hand on my shoulder. 

"Yeah," I nodded softly, "meanwhile, we'll go look."

Draco smiled, "And Pansy can help you with it!"

"What?!" Hermione almost choked, "I mean, okay, cool."

Pansy smirked slightly in our direction because Draco was being like a wingman. It was funny. 

When we began to walk away I could hear Hermione talking, "Don't get any idea's, I have a boyfriend. You're beautiful and all, but I'm not gay."

"I'm not either." Pansy said, and I glanced back just to see her expression. She rested her elbows on Ron's table and stared up at Hermione, who was trying not to laugh. 

"The thought of Pansy screwing Hermione makes me want to vomit, that means your friend will be around me more." Draco spat. 

"She won't, she and Ron have had a thing for each other for as long as I can remember." I tried to reassure, but Draco gave an unimpressed stare. "You have no idea, Harry. It's like a talent. Pansy turns all these straight girls gay and if she wants Hermione, then-"

He stopped when I giggled. "Alright. Fine. You'll see."

I nudged him, "It's not that I don't believe you, it's just..we're kind of friends now. Hermione would probably be around you more either way."

Draco stared even more, "Shit."

I smiled and looked away. 

The two of us were so calm compared to everyone else. Why were they running? Probably because the school was supposed to be getting evacuated right now, maybe. If they announced an evacuation, sorry to disobey but I'm not leaving. 

That or they willingly decided to leave. 

Everyone was brave the first time, but after losing so many people to the war, I guess nobody's truly prepared for that heartache again. 

And that's fine. Nobody should even have to go through it again. So I'm not gonna complain. 

Draco followed me around as we checked all places Ron would probably have went, but we didn't see any sign of him. 

So, we started to head back to my room, pushing through the trafficked halls. 

It was weird seeing everyone feeling so panicked over something minor. But maybe they didn't understand the situation. I have yet to see any adults roaming around. Which was also weird, considering what's going down. 

We had hoped to see Hermione running towards us with a report, but when we stepped foot in the room, she looked nervous. 

"What is it?" 

The two girls turned our way and were biting their lips nervously, less Pansy than Hermione. 

I gestured for them to tell me, like a reminder, but Hermione shut the book. 

She writes all her spells down, the ones that...aren't necessarily forbidden but more..not documented or taught at Hogwarts. It's not dark magic, just ancient. She's quite interested in ancient magic so..

"It didn't work. Wherever he is, someone's blocking the spell. And no offense, but Ron isn't smart enough to know how to block such an ancient spell!"

Draco facepalmed, more than once, "Shit shit shit-"

I looked at him and he opened his eyes, "Voldemort has him. Think of anybody besides me that would be able to do that-"

"You?!?" Hermione asked, with a judging tone. 

I just glanced at her while Draco glared until his eyes met back with mine, "He would need proof of the wizarding world. But he has a wand, why not prove it himself rather than taking someone hostage?"

Pansy jumped in with enthusiasm, it was quite surprising considering the circumstances. "Well, obviously nobody would believe him. These are muggles, we're talking about. Anything or anyone different from them is considered a threat. Voldemort doesn't look..even remotely human. He's got no nose. That's gotta be creepy and threatening for them. Ronald Weasley looks human. Who would humans believe more? A scared boy or a purple nose-less bald moronic Barney looking dude who claims there's an entire wizard school that they cannot ever get to, hm?"

All three of us stared in awe, kind of. 

Nobody really expected her to pitch in such basic logic that we couldn't come up with. 

"She's right, the humans feel threatened by anything. Voldemort wants to be on their side, they don't see it that way-" Hermione tried but I interrupted, "Wait, they don't see that Voldemort is on their side. What if his way of proving magic is real and that he's on their side is murdering Ron?!!"

My eyes landed on Draco and he shook his head, "Or..they'd believe the man who took a kid hostage because nobody with slight remorse would even think about that. That, or, and here the actual simple logic, he went to the bathroom."

When he turned around to walk off, I quickly followed while glancing at Hermione desperately. 

Draco didn't stop when I tried to stop him. In fact, it reminded me of how this all started. Me begging him to let me tag along. 

"Please! Draco, look, if Ron wasn't in danger the locator spell would've worked! You know that!" 

He didn't even look my way. 

"What's the problem?!?" I exclaimed, louder than I should've which brought attention to us slightly. People would slow down to look at us but when we passed them they'd stay. 

Draco finally turned, "No offense but Ron is a douche, I couldn't give two shits if he was in danger or not. I'm not some hero either, I don't save assholes."

"Nobody is asking you to be a hero!!!" I groaned, but Draco rolled his eyes and started speed walking again. So, I quickly grabbed his arm and he stopped to stare at me coldly. 

"Please," I gave him a very intense look, but it was desperate, "he's my friend, Draco. I can't let him die."

He stared, blankly. 

"Just..do it for me, please." I asked softly. 

Was it a lot to ask?? Mm, I suppose, yeah. He didn't owe me anything, I was just hoping he'd do it out of the kindness of his heart. 

Draco looked between both my eyes to look for any genuine emotion, maybe he thought this was some prank and I'm an asshole. But it wasn't a prank. I was serious. 

He'd never do something for me, this would be the first if he gave in. Either he's changing or I'm seeing a completely new side of Draco that..probably nobody has seen. Maybe Pansy, but besides her. "Why do you think that would mean anything to me? Because it means something to you? We aren't boyfriend and girlfriend here, Potter."

"All I ask is for your goddamn pity, Draco. I don't care if you didn't like Ron, he is my best friend, and you being someone I trust dearly, maybe you should set aside your ego for two minutes and help me find my best friend!"

"Okay. I'm sorry you even had to ask. It shouldn't be like that for you."

From shock, I just kind of wanted to hug him. In what world did those words come out of Draco's mouth? There's a glitch in the simulation. 

But I didn't hug him, because I was mad still. I just softened my facial expressions. 

I didn't break the eye contact because I was just..yeah. No word can express how I feel about him saying that to me. 

"Are you gonna cry?" He asked, a hint of panic in his voice. 

"I might." I nodded while laughing slightly. 

"Please don't, I'll feel like I have to comfort you-"

My eyes started watering and he pouted while wrapping his arms around me. For the record, this new Draco was totally someone I would be friends with and I think I kind of love it. 

He tightened his grip when I sighed relief, "I'll..see if I can find a loophole. There might be one with whatever spell he's using. I might be able to find your red headed friend."

I pulled away with wide eyes. That's more than I expected from him. I just wanted his presence while we tried finding Ron, I didn't expect him to offer to find him. 

"Bloody hell, I could kiss you right now." I stared hard, while he stared back. 

"Is that the new way to thank people?"

"I'll do it, I swear. Thank you." The smile fought my straight face and the two of us laughed when Draco snorted, "You need to figure out a plan to get the memoir. We need someone on the inside to figure out where it is."

I nodded when he placed a hand on my back as we started walking back towards the room. 

"Pansy? Maybe?"

"No, absolutely not. She'd get the dark mark and it's not exactly an experience you'd sacrifice yourself for-"

"I'm just suggesting her. You can't, he knows you aren't on his side."

"Hermione?"

"As fucking if he'd believe she's on his side. Her and Ron fought by my side my whole life, as if she'd betray me and Voldemort would believe it."

Draco raised an eyebrow, "You really trust her that much to say such a thing?"

"Without question." I gave a stern nod as we turned the corner and re-entered the room. Hermione immediately looked at us and stared, "I..did not expect you to convince him to stay."

"Yeah," Pansy, too, raised an eyebrow, "me neither..."

"Save your surprised faces for later, we've gotta save red."

Hermione almost laughed but she covered her mouth when Draco rushed to her book, "Is this any use?"

"I doubt it," she laughed slightly but Draco ignored her because he'd feel embarrassed if he didn't. 

Pansy stepped beside me and eyed me up and down, looking for signs, "The sex must be really good if..you got him to change his mind..even he wouldn't do that for me and I'm the closest thing he has to a friend."

"Pansy, we aren't screwing." He tried to jump in but what was the point anyways?

She turned around quick, "I'm not the only one thinking it! You two go on the run together, all that time with no other interaction with anybody else..you've gotta bond, and two teenagers alone for weeks? Horny teenagers? Look do I need to spell it out-"

"Oh for crying out loud I'm not gay, quit it with your pathetic insinuations!" I groaned. She winced at my tone and then glared afterwards as she walked out of the room. 

Harsh tone, was probably why. 

Draco glanced at me, more just to look than to read me. I couldn't read that expression. I wasn't sure why he looked hurt, but he did. 

If that was the right word that is. 

"Harry, everyone was thinking it. You didn't have to be harsh. She has a point." Hermione added but when I looked at her she softly sighed and turned to go after Pansy. 

I don't know why she's so considerate, even if Pansy is a stranger. I guess that's just who Hermione is. She's a good person. 

I'm not even sure why I snapped. I felt bad now. 

"Does the thought of us getting hot and heavy in bed really annoy you that much?" Draco asked without even turning around. 

I furrowed my brows and walked closer, "No, but when everyone acts as if whatever this is..is their business, I get annoyed. I don't want me be sexualized without my consent."

"This?" 

"Yeah, this. I don't know what it is but it's something. Something nobody should be bothered with."

Draco chuckled dryly and continued reading through the book. 

I stood back because I thought he'd be better off with some space, but I've only realized it didn't matter whether he had space or not. So, I walked closer and faced him, awaiting his eyes to meet with mine. 

"I'm sorry I snapped at your friend. But, Isn't it annoying that everyone thinks we screw?"

He finally looked up and stared, "No, it's not annoying. I like the idea."

I almost choked on the air, coughing, "What?!"

"Yeah, it's like some cliche. Enemies to lovers. I'd go see that movie." 

I nodded anxiously, "Oh.."

He chuckled at my reaction and then went back to Hermione's book. 

My eyes wandered the room as if I haven't been in here my entire time at Hogwarts 

Draco slightly turned his head and side eyed me, "What's another word for uncomfortable?"

I covered my mouth thinking I said something bad and then realized he was analyzing my body language. "Well- It's not that I..don't like the idea of sleeping together- I mean- Well I'm just inexperienced, the thought is..eh."

He sneered, "I'm willing to set aside our differences for pleasure."

"Well," I nodded strictly, "I'm not."

Draco's smug grin remained in tact when I turned away. He was clearly enjoying picking at me like this, not that I'm sure I should consider this teasing. But still, my uncomfortableness is the cause of his smug looks and amusement. So, therefore, I'm annoyed. 

An idea then popped into my mind. 

I popped a smug look on my face and stepped over to the table he was facing. Draco only glanced at me. Then, I dragged my fingers down his torso and to his hips.

He looked at my fingers and then my eyes, "Whats this?"

"Seductive manipulation. Is it working?"

"Er..kind of. Why?" 

I bobbed my head, "Cool. um, okay, listen Pansy has to be the one on the inside. Nobody else can do it, believe me! I didn't even know who Pansy was until you, there's no way Voldemort would know-"

He then shoved my hand away, "I'm no longer enjoying the pathetic manipulation."

I pouted, "We have no choice!"

"Send Neville!" Draco exclaimed when I crossed my arms. 

"Neville?!?? As if I'd ever do that. He's clueless and doesn't need to be brought into all this!"

"Neither does Pansy!"

He got closer with every point he had, until we were inches apart. 

"You know shes our only option. And a perfect one at that." I grumbled lowly, while he put a hand on my shoulder to lighten the mood, "You wouldn't, because she'd be your friend. You don't like putting your friends in danger. You shouldn't be so careless when it comes to mine."

"I'm not being careless, I'm being smart! We need someone on the inside and then we can get the memoir back and you can kill him! But we can't go in blind anymore!"

Before he could open his mouth for a snarky response, Pansy and Hermione waltzed back in and they immediately noticed the tension. 

Pansy scoffed, "Go ahead, mister hetero, finish up the moment we'll wait outside."

Draco rolled his eyes, "Pansy, not now."

I gave a mocking smile and she quirked an eyebrow when seeing it, getting ready to lunge at me. 

"You've got some bloody nerve! Who do you think you are in this situation?! His boyfriend? You think that label protects you? Yo-"

Draco yelled 'hey' and she winced, stopping. I'll take it he's never really yelled at her before. I really wish I knew what their friendship was like, but I don't. It makes me curious. 

She straightened herself when finally coughing up what I've been waiting for, "I think I should decide that for myself. Me being Voldemort's bitch isn't exactly the worst idea I've heard. It's good. And I won't be in danger. I can put on a pretty convincing show if I want to."

"It's not that simple! Do you honestly think he'll buy the whole act? You have to dedicate your entire life to him, be ready to sacrifice, or jump in front of the bullet! He knows if it's not genuine!" Draco seemed to be extra annoyed. I felt maybe that was my fault. 

From the corner, I crossed my arms and watched him. I wanted to apologize. But we both knew I was too stubborn to. 

Malfoy wasn't wrong. This was–from what I know–his closest friend and honestly? Probably his only friend left after his reputation was dragged through the dirt. 

Who am I to ask him such a thing? I'm lucky Pansy is practically volunteering. 

"Then so be it, Draco. You aren't my bloody father why do you feel like I'm incapable of taking on the hard tasks?!? It's more than anything you'd do-"

"Woah," I interrupted, maybe, possibly, with a small glare, "don't pull that card."

"Why not?! Am I wrong?" She laughed, turning to Draco again and ignoring me. "You're just like your father! Selfish, controlling, and a fucking narcissist!"

With every breath she took, the more angered Draco got. They were heaving, angered. Draco was trying to control it, Pansy wasn't. 

"And your Mother too! Pathetic and-"

"Don't you dare talk about her!" His voice cracked, "Don't you ever- I swear-" between coughs, he turned around and his eyes met with mine, I could see his tears. 

Oh, gosh. 

"Can't take the criticism?! Huh? As if nobody ever had a problem with the perfect family?! Malfoy's are the reason we're screwed and you break down over the slightest criticism?! Pathetic, like I-"

"She's dead!" He yelled as he faced her. "My father too! So why don't you rub it in you bitch! I trusted you with everything I've told you and you have the audacity to waltz in and spill it to everyone!? Or insult my deceased parents? I've had a hard enough time going through it alone, I don't need you to remind me how shit my family is!" 

Hermione and I stood back awkwardly. 

Whatever has been going on between these two, it was behind closed doors because they seemed close moments ago. 

Draco opened his mouth, "I'm trying to protect you! Okay?! I wouldn't wish this life on absolutely any of my enemies, and that means you don't get to go through the bloody trauma! You have to be some heartless arse to get through it all! Don't you get it? He takes everything from you, every second of your life. He drains it from you, had you do his dirty work, kill. Not even I managed to come out okay, and-"

"And..yet, you made it out." She crossed her arms. 

He stopped being so tense and just dropped his arms, staring at her in defeat. 

I glanced at Hermione and gestured my head towards the door and then looked at Pansy. She got the idea and placed her hands on the girls shoulders while whispering something into her ear when they started for the door. 

I pushed off the wall and neared Draco cautiously. He didn't move a muscle, just his eyes to the floor. 

I then carefully put a hand on his shoulder and watched as his eyes met with mine, "She has some nerve, huh?"

He shook his head, "Guess so. I was okay until..she brought my parents up. My mom, at least. It's funny, I despised my father my entire life, I feared him, and what he'd do if I disobeyed his orders, yet I miss him so much. At least when he was alive, I had someone to look out for me. It sucks having him gone."

I nodded as I pulled him into a hug, "I'll look out for you. It's..nothing new. I have been since this all started."

Draco gave a breathy laugh, "When did we become close enough to hug each other and make promises to protect? Gosh, I don't even remember getting past the pointless bickering."

A smile grew when I pulled back to see his face. He looked hurt, still. But you could tell he was coming around, because I was comforting him. 

"Somewhere after you trying to get drunk or that night in the hotel when you cuddled in your sleep. You unconsciously crossed a boundary." I chuckled as he did too, smiling like an idiot. 

Then, I gave his shoulder a squeeze, "Look, she's just upset you don't want her being a self-sacrificing idiot like me. But she has a choice. She was acting on annoyance. None of what she said was genuine, or true."

He scoffed, "Well, she wasn't wrong, about being selfish, or controlling, and or maybe, even possibly in the slightest bit, a narcissist."

"You aren't selfish." 

He laughed, "So it's true, I am a controlling narcissist!"

"I didn't say that.." I answered nonchalantly. 

"Then what're you saying? Huh, Potter??" Draco got unbelievably close and I maybe even let my breath hitch. It wasn't intentional. But what it is, well, it was confusing. For me at least. 

But I didn't push him away. 

I think I kind of liked the distance being closed. 

He had this smug look of satisfaction and gosh, it annoyed me that he did, but my body reacted differently than my mind did. It was weird how I couldn't control how I reacted. It's never happened to me before. 

I couldn't work up the courage to speak either, because once I said something he'd move back. This whole thing felt seductive and it shouldn't have. If I'm honest, I don't know what it was supposed to be. But I read it as seduction. 

"The more you know." He turned away with a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. I immediately brushed off whatever trance I was in and stood with wide eyes. Did he just..do that to me?? What?!?

"Wait- Whats that mean?!"

"I just..didn't realize I had that effect on you. The more you know." He grunted, but it came out as more of a deep chuckle and I crossed my arms, "What effect?"

Play dumb, great job Harry. As if that isn't transparent. He'd see right through me but I'm too stupid to realize that before I said it. 

He genuinely laughed this time, "Did I just create a sexual tension?"

"No-" I pursed my lips when our eyes met, "Okay, maybe.."

He smiled and nodded, "You're desperate, huh? If I can get you hard then your standards are really low."

"I'm not- Wait did you just insult yourself?"

"A little. Yeah."

We both laughed and I glanced down, I wasn't hard. I don't know what he's talking about. Sure my mind probably..is a little turned on but he doesn't know that. Unless...I'm really that transparent. Shit. I think I am turned on. Jesus, what has this alliance become. 

"I have high standards." I smiled slightly and he beamed, "Nice! A compliment from my arch nemesis! And the sexual tension thickens."

I chuckled quietly when leaning against the table the book laid on. I can contemplate what I was gonna do about Draco later. I was worried about Ron, but clearly not enough since I just let that happen between Draco and I. 

Whatever. 

It made me wonder, why did I let it happen? Why did my body allow him to..intimidate or..seduce. Whatever it was. 

Like, did I subconsciously decide I was madly in love with the guy and I wanted him doing stuff like that? Because last I checked I didn't even look at him that way. 

I mean, I guess it wouldn't suck. Being with Draco. I've grown quite fond so for me to say it's my worst nightmare would be a lie. 

It's not hard to picture either. 

Maybe before, but not now. 

"Again?" He quirked his eyebrow with a smirk plastered on his face. 

I had realized I was staring at him the entire time I was thinking about us being a thing. 

Shoot. 

Quickly, I shook my head, and decided yes; I've subconsciously developed a crush and I'm angry. 

He chuckled, "Relax. You're so tense."

There was a silence when our eyes met. I snorted, "This is the part where you tell me to sit down, give me a romantic massage, and you know..maybe it leads to..something else. But whatever. Your loss."

"Hey, I'd be down. You're the one who isn't."

"I didn't say that."

"Wa-"

Hermione walked in with another book. Draco and I broke apart, not that we were close. We tried to cover up the sexual tension that was present by not making eye contact. Is our logic..logical??? No. Did Hermione honestly care? Probably not. I didn't either. 

"This is from Snape's office.." she murmured, "Nobody had the guts to clean it out yet. Or ever. I don't know. I know he was into all that dark magic though, remember-"

"Yeah, I remember." I interrupted with a harsh tone. Draco's eyes landed on me with confusion, it pierced my ego so much I don't know why it did. 

I avoided eye contact as much as I possibly could. 

Just because I've owned up to it doesn't mean it's my proudest moment. 

She was watching me with a concerned look but Draco interrupted, "I'll see if there's anything in this that could help with Ron. Go take a walk."

"A walk-" Hermione went to question him but he gestured towards me and she nodded. I scoffed, "I'm fine, you two! I'm not gonna take a walk."

I tried to walk over to grab the book but Draco stepped in my path and narrowed his eyes, "Coming from me, you should go take a walk if you want me to find your friend."

"I'm fine- Don't be an arse-" 

When I tried moving out of the way he stepped in my next path and I stared at him. Draco only stared back. He didn't say anything. 

"Harry..you always talk about..that moment. With him. You talk about how you regret it and you'd do anything to take it back. Do you want to repeat it?" Hermione waltzed over and took my arm. I was too shocked, dumbfounded, to react. 

"Go, I can handle it. I'll keep you two updated."

She pulled me into the hallway. By now it's calmed down. Everyone was either gone or hiding. I didn't worry about it. 

Look, I didn't expect Hermione to bring that up in front of Draco. When she did, it felt like I was back in that moment. I got a disgusting power feeling. It was dark, if it consumes you, there's no turning back. I hated knowing that was a possibility. 

The two of us walked a long way until we reached the great hall. No surprise, but it was empty like we had expected. 

She sat at the edge of the first table next to me. I slumped down and sighed deeply. 

I didn't like the idea of Draco getting deeper into this dark magic mojo. It wasn't gonna end well and I just knew it. 

"You alright..?" She eyes me funny and I shake my head with a laugh. 

"I trust you-"

"Well I hope so."

I forced a smile, to hide the fact I felt weird saying this. "Yeah, but because I do, I want to tell you something I realized today."

"Uh..look, Harry, as much as I love you, and though I'm very flattered, I'm fully committed to Ron-"

"Ew, Jesus no, Hermione." I chuckled when she sighed relief, "Draco. Actually. I think I realized I like him. In like a romantic way. And there's been so much-"

She laughs, "But..he's a guy."

"Yeah, he is a guy." 

Hermione pauses for split second, then realized I was coming out, she was quick to cover her shocked 'O' shaped mouth. She exhales sharply, "I feel so inconsiderate. Of course you actually like him. I just...thought all that teasing was a joke but Pansy-"

"If a stranger notices there's something going on, I think there's a good chance there is." I mumble.

There was a short pause, and then Hermione shot up slightly, "Do you..like, love him?"

"Love..is a strong emotion. I'm not sure how I feel about Draco. I can't place the emotions I feel. It's not even mental."

"Subconsciously in love?"

I just purse my lips and fumble with my fingers....subconsciously, "Are you okay with it?"

"With you liking Draco?"

"No." I stare, realizing she was still clueless, "With..being-"

"Not heterosexual?"

"Yeah."

She gave a half-hearted smile, "I support you. From what I can tell, you have this power over him, and he feels like he has to please your wishes, because if he doesn't you'll be disappointed. He holds you high, it's kind of sweet."

I smile. It made sense. He hates Ron but saving him is suddenly his number one priority because I asked. I can understand why she'd say that. 

"It's cliche, I like it." She nudged me and I leaned onto her shoulder, "What has my life come to? Chasing after my enemy, being at war my entire life, orphan."

"I think it's playing out fine." She smiled brightly. 

"How're you holding up with Ron?" I have to ask. It's not that I felt like I needed to, it's just as a concerned friend, I want to. 

Hermione let a shaky breath escape and turned her head slightly, "I'm fine, you know. As long as I'm not thinking about how his life is definitely at risk and he could get brutally murdered any second. I mean, feels like I'm having a panic attack, but mentally. But I'm holding up fine. Hearing about what's going on with you comforts me."

"I feel selfish just talking about myself-"

"I want to hear it. Unless you want me to breakdown right here and now."

I chuckled slightly and then just shrugged when I pulled back from her, "I don't know..it's nice, the bond Draco and I have built. But I didn't realize I had a thing for him until today. Weird, huh?"

"When did it all start?" She genuinely leaned in like she was actually interested. It was hard to tell whether she was faking it or not. 

To be honest, I don't know. "I guess..I was just..there for him when shit went down. His parents dying, Voldemort coming back. At some point I started to see him as comforting and vulnerable. I don't know. He's not as big of a dick as everyone thinks, and that's coming from me."

She smiled fondly, and didn't say a word. 

"It's weird. I never thought I'd see Draco as anything other than a prick. But-"

"But you're madly in love with me and are trying to think of how you want to express it?" Draco came rushing in with the book, clearly being sarcastic. But I tensed up. 

He furrowed his eyebrows when Hermione put a hand on my leg, "Jesus, relax. I was only joking. I consider you a friend too, glad we're on the same page."

Sure, it sounded like I was confessing to our newly profound friendship, but that's not at all what it was. 

Hermione chuckled, "Friend-zoned."

"You find it amusing?!" I exclaimed, laughing with her when Draco sat across from us. 

He slid the book to Hermione casually and then quirked an eyebrow, "You friend-zoned me first."

"Not true."

Draco smirked slightly but Hermione was eager for an answer. 

"Well?!?"

He shook his head, "No. nada. It pains me to admit, but Pansy going undercover as a death eater is probably our best hope."

"Oh god," Hermione's voice went high pitched and she covered her mouth, "I think I'm gonna be sick."

The two of us watched her run off out of the room, and Draco sighed. 

"Exactly how I feel about it."

*********


	8. Chapter 8

Draco was watching me with caution, I think. It had been a few minutes since Hermione left and I eyed the book. 

I felt drawn to it. I knew something inside me wanted to open it, and study it for the sake of victory. But I couldn't. Because Draco kept a close eye on me. 

He too noticed how it was drawing me in. 

"Snape and I were close before Voldemort killed him. He told me about all these books he locked away. When there's something dark within you, it feels it. These books practically exist for darkness. You feel drawn to it because of that."

I didn't want to deny that, because I knew something was wrong with me. I've known it ever since that..incident with Malfoy. 

"Yeah, I was almost placed in Slytherin first year. If I hadn't begged to-" I tried but he chuckled. "You and your stereotypes. Do you think everyone in Slytherin is dark or evil?"

"No, but you sure set the expectations for Slytherin. Every year until now you were a dick."

"That was optional. Not because I've got some darkness in me." He grinned, "Look, I'd one up you but I'm trying something different. I'm trying to be honest with you. So, no, that was fully me choosing to be a dick and give myself a reputation, not my personality."

My heart felt as if it jumped, and I smiled softly in his direction. For a moment, he smiled back too. Until I glanced at the book. "So..you don't feel drawn to it?"

"Wish I could say I did. With how much dark magic I've learned, you'd think I'd feel drawn to it. It's concerning, but I think I'm handling it."

"Yeah, you seem to be." My smile slowly faded and the both of us knew what conversation was coming. I could tell he knew because he started getting anxious and fumbled with his sleeves. "When..were you going to tell me about the dark magic?"

"I guess..when I felt I could trust you?" His shrug wasn't very reassuring. He noticed me averting my eyes and then reached over and grabbed my hand, "Harry, listen, I know you deserved to know with the alliance we have, but if you've learned anything, it's that I'm terrible with up and admitting things such as that."

"I want to be mad, you know because if you lost control someone could get hurt and I wouldn't have known, but you seem to be handling it. And I trust you as well. You've got a good heart."

He gave a fake groan, "I don't want to be the hero of this story. That's your job. Don't be complimenting me."

"Okay," I pursed my lips to stop a smile from forming. A big stupid grin, is more accurate. 

Draco sighed and leaned back when he let go of my hand, "What is it?"

"I'm proud of seeing you become this..man. But, it was an honor watching you become this person. Plus, righteous Draco Malfoy is quite attractive-Not that you weren't before, obviously. But-"

"I think I get it." He chuckled quietly and stared because I softened when he didn't make me finish my rambling. 

Draco sat up and grabbed the book, "I'm gonna go put this back in Snape's office. If we get caught in here with it, best case scenario we get expelled and can run off into the sunset together."

"Uh huh, because expulsion is best case scenario."

"After all I said expulsion is what you wanted to correct?" I caught Draco's smirk and my cheeks went red slightly. I shook my head with a smile, "Yes, Draco. Expulsion."

He laughed, "I'll be back. You should check on Hermione."

I watched him leave the room after tucking the book in the front of his belt and pants and hid the rest under his shirt in case anybody saw. 

Once he was out of sight, I started towards the only place I know she'd run off to; the restroom. I mean, the women's bathroom is probably empty, so me going in there won't be an issue, right? I'm probably gay if I fancy Draco, so it won't matter to me. 

I rushed to the room and glanced around a few times before pushing open the door. The bathroom was mostly empty, all stalls were open. 

I walked further down the rows and finally saw Hermione sitting weakly on the floor. She looked to be procrastinating everything. I felt bad if I'm honest. 

"Hey..you alright?" I got her attention and her eyes went wide. 

"Harry this is the woman's room get out!"

"Oh, piss off, as if anyone cares right now." I chuckled and she just shook her head after forcing a laugh. 

She frowned, "Ron's probably so anxious right now, he's hoping we're gonna come to his rescue any second now because we think quick, but it'll take days to get a plan and have Pansy get in on their inner circle before we actually even get close to Ron. It's not fair."

"If he was gonna do something with Ron, we would've heard about it by now. There isn't anything about him on the news. For all we know, Voldemort just took him to draw us out and expose me. Don't jump to conclusions, H." I kneeled beside her and she stared up with sad eyes. 

"Last time I thought I was gonna lose Ron was when his brother died. He was so devastated, distanced himself for months. It took him forever to recover. For awhile, I thought he wasn't coming back. But one day he just rings my cell, and starts with 'Hey, you got a sec?' and he told me about every last thing he was going through and how he's ready to come back. I remember it so clearly. I was so relieved to hear his voice for the first time in months. I keep looking at my phone, but I know he won't call this time."

I smiled shortly at her, and rubbed her shoulder, "I promise you we will get Ron back. I know what I'm doing. Voldemort won't kill him unless I'm in person. He wants me to beg him to take my life. He wants to strip every last piece of happiness from my life day by day, year by year. He isn't in a rush. I won't let him take Ron from us."

Hermione tries to smile, but she just lets her head fall between her knees that were tucked into her chest and she sighed deeply, "I hope that's true."

"It's good to have hope." 

The door shut seconds later and I jumped up and poked my head out the door. Yeah! I was panicking! Women are scary when you look like some pervert!

But lucky for me, it was Luna. 

And..Ginny. 

"Harry.." Luna greeted, kindly, while Ginny stood back. 

"Hey Luna!" I smiled and rushed over to hug her. Last time I saw her, she told me the story about how Neville made her realize she's attracted to women. It was probably one of the most realistic and casual nights I've ever had. It was the kind of life I wanted to live. Sleepovers with my friend, no magic or arse trying to kill me. It was nice. Ever since I've just been more fond of her. I guess I feel like I can relate. 

Only issue; she's friends with Ginny. Or she's dating Ginny. I haven't been able to figure that one out yet. 

"I'm sorry if this is awkward- I mean you and Ginny left things oddly and well-" Luna tried to speak, she had started rambling a lot more and it's always when she's nervous. I love her personality sometimes. I just smiled, "No, no, it isn't. Hi Ginny."

She gave a short wave and then looked away from me. Guess it was awkward for her. 

"Ginny?!" Hermione poked her head outside of the stall and ran over to hug her, "Hi!"

Ginny stumbled backwards when Hermione collided into her, but nonetheless hugged her back. 

I think she was so excited because Ginny looked like Ron. And she was related to him. Hermione was just emotional right now. 

"Mind if I ask why you're in the ladies room?" Luna tilted her head as she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. I gestured towards Hermione and she just nodded, "What happened?"

"Voldemort. He took Ron-" Hermione tried. 

"That's an assumption. But at this point it's reasonable." I corrected, because Ginny was about to panic. 

She pulled away from Hermione, "He what?!!!?"

I sighed and left Hermione to explain, "I'm gonna go find Draco, it was nice seeing you again guys."

"Draco?!!?" Ginny exclaimed but I didn't stop to explain that either. I could distinctly hear Hermione explaining it as I walked through the door. 

Seconds later, I collided with someone. 

"Sorry-" I looked up and saw Draco. Then I looked down to his hand, he held some cord and an air pump. "What's all this?"

"Good question..." he glanced at the door and saw the label, "..miss..Potter. I can explain later. For now come with me. It's getting late and if we get caught by any adults, we're screwed. In for a hell of a punishment. C'mon!"

He had a point, so I followed him. We rushed up all the moving stairs and in the direction of Snape's office. I didn't know why. 

As we entered, he locked the door behind him and I immediately saw the air mattress on the floor. 

"Look- you have to buy me dinner first-" I tried to turn around and leave, but Draco put a hand on my chest. "Relax, this wasn't set up for you. When my dad and I got into a huge argument, I stayed in this room while Hogwarts was being fixed up. Snape was the only person who ever looked out for me. I felt like a piece of him was with me when I stayed here."

He wasn't kidding when he said he was gonna start being honest with me. 

I raised an eyebrow, "And you're carrying an air pump around for?"

"Was looking for you, it was in my closet. I needed it because we're sleeping here tonight. We avoid confrontation as long as we can."

"You seem very comfortable with me. You're insisting on sharing a bed."

Draco giggled as he popped in the plug to an outlet and attached the pump to the mattress, filling it up with air. He closed the lid once he was done and then raised an eyebrow back at me, falling backwards and landing on the mattress, "I am comfortable with you, Potter. And besides, this place is quiet. No..Hermione, Pansy, Neville- everyone else."

I gave in and plopped down beside him. The two of us stared at the ceiling. But for me, I was more staring at nothing. He was admiring the designs above us. 

"I just saw my ex in the bathroom. My ex who isn't really my ex because I never really ended things with her, I just avoided her until we decided not to look at each other in the halls. It was weird. She was with Luna."

He turned his head, "Did you get punched?"

"No.."

"Then it was a happy little reunion. But in case her anger continues boiling, steer clear of the Weasley girl. They're all vicious if you're on their bad side. Ron hates me. I'm only doing this stuff for you, not him."

"And I appreciate it."

"I know you do, that's why I'm doing it."

Since when did his not-so-flirting flirting start to be considered flirting? Huh?! When did I even start smiling when he flirted casually. Was it even flirting? Because he has this thing where he starts sexual tensions purposely and likes to mess with me so is he really flirting or does he just want to get to me-

"Something nobody knew about Snape was that he was into architects. He told me the story about how he got the ceiling put in. Used some luring potion on a muggle just for the sake of his office having some architecture. He had some legend do it. It was an old guy, who built practically half of London. The stained glass and brick are worth thousands. It's so endearing to look at. I know why Snape loved this stuff." Draco stared up at the stars without a second thought. He looked as if he were in some trance. 

I watched with him, "He was so mysterious, I didn't know a thing about him. Other than he was in love with my mother."

Draco's head snaps my way, "Really?"

"Yeah.."

He chuckled, "Classic."

I admired the stained glass that faded to a clear glass with a golden outline. 

The rest of the office looked as if someone was going through it, but decided they'd call it a day and just never went back. Papers were stacked everywhere, there were clothes scattered along with shoes in the corner. His desk was pushed back into the corner, but only because Draco must've done that for his air mattress. 

He had a bunch of books, that I could feel. They were dark. I turned my head towards the direction I felt like I was being pulled towards. 

It was some chest, tucked in the corner. A long draped coat covered the majority of it. 

Draco noticed, "I can move it."

I shook my head when I looked away, "No..just, like, keep me distracted and I'll be fine." My eyes met with his to see his reaction, but I kind of got lost because the moonlight shined through perfectly to cover half of his face, and the other side was a small weak lamp that hardly worked. It was quite the sight. 

For a moment, I thought he was gonna kiss me. Part of me was cool with that, because I've already come to the conclusion I feel something more than platonic. But another part of me doesn't want that, because there's no way Draco feels the same. After everything it's just platonic for him. I felt like he'd just use me for pleasure in the end, like he's talked about before. Ugh. 

"I'm good at distractions." He nodded as his eyes landed on my lips, going back to my eyes when I nodded, "Uh huh." I was agreeing, because I was eager. 

I don't know why but I saw an opportunity, and I didn't want to waste it. 

Draco's lips slowly pressed against mine and I almost smiled, but the feeling of his being against me was too much to react to. 

It felt as if I were having my first kiss. That mushy warm sensation you feel because it's overwhelming. I wasn't having my first kiss, but it felt like it. 

I brought my hands up to his face when we broke apart for a second, "Wait why-"

Neither of us opened our eyes when Draco simply interrupted me with a husky voice, "Distractions..."

A smile grew when he reconnected our lips, but this time it was more eager and had more movement. I cupped both sides of his face when his hands moved to my hips. He pulled me closer when slowly leaning back, but he then changed his mind last minute and flipped me over, so I fell onto my back and Draco could get on top of me. 

I bit his bottom lip with a grin because he kicked both my legs open and laid between them, our chests pressed together. 

He broke apart from me and leaned backwards quickly so his hair would flip out of his face. And then he started fumbling with the hem of my shirt. 

"Are we really doing this?" I asked breathlessly. He lifted the shirt over my head with lust filled in his eyes and then he leaned back down, nibbling at my jaw. 

A very delayed reaction was given, but at least he gave one. He only hummed in response, and it was quite hot if you ask me, but I moaned slightly because his lips traveled down my neck. 

"You're not just using me?" I asked as I pushed him back so I could pull his shirt off him. Draco stared at me smugly. He didn't give an answer, instead he leaned down and started kissing my lips again, more hungrily now. 

Now, if I'm gonna be honest, the thought of him using me both made me sick but turned me on. So, I didn't stop anything. I let him. 

His hands moved down my torso with passion, until his hand reached my pants. A smirk appeared and he pulled away, watching how I reacted to him getting close to my bulge. 

My breath hitched by him just touching the hem, but I arched my back and threw my head into the mattress when he slid his hand inside my pants. 

I've never been touched by anyone before, it was a whole new sensation and I genuinely didn't know how to handle it. I bit my lip, moaned deeply, tried to dig my fingers in the mattress, but Draco only watched and that made it hotter. 

Draco hummed again, and then drew his hand back and started to fumble with the button and zipper of my pants. 

I breathlessly watched him tug both my pants and boxers down, seeing I was hard from just kissing him. 

He grinned and immediately leaned down and pressed a long drawn kiss on my lips. For a moment I thought he was gonna stay, so I softly grabbed the back on his neck, but he soon pulled back with that familiar smug look he's had this whole time. 

In response to this teasing–teasing I didn't stand for because christ, I was eager–I push back up off the bed and reconnect our lips, while holding him in place. 

Draco enjoyed the surprise, how I just didn't allow him to dominate the kiss. 

It only lasted maybe fifteen seconds before he grabs my chest and shoved me hard onto the bed, biting his lip.

I giggle from that same smugness, it was hot. 

I watch him sit back, debating something in his pretty little head. I tried to figure out what, but before I could even entertain a single possibility, he gets off the bed and stands, "I'm hungry."

"What?" I stare at where he was before, hoping I was just imagining him leaving in the middle of this. 

"I'm gonna get some food. Hungry?"

I whine, "You're gonna leave me hanging?"

"What do you mean?"

He genuinely sounded innocent, and I scoff, laughing, "As if I got the courage to finally kiss you and you are about to hook up with me, but instead of going further you want to be a monumental dick?"

Draco just smirks, and tugs his shirt back on. 

I watch him leave and then collapse backwards, groaning at how hard I was and how I wasn't one to masturbate. I hardly ever do. 

So, instead of hanging back, I pull on my clothes as quickly as possible and rush out to catch up with him. 

He was walking so unbelievably slow, he knew I'd come running after him.

I walked beside him, deciding if I said anything I would cockblock myself. 

This silence annoyed me though. Walking down the halls and subtly avoiding anyone who would dare roam the halls after what just happened with Voldemort. 

Not many people did, but there were a few roamers.

"They aren't even serving, D." I do this weird gesture and almost use my body language to express my annoyance. More so of a whine, that Draco just reacted by pursing his lips. 

"My dorm has a vending machine."

I furrowed my eyebrows, "A vending machine?!! That's so unfair, not to mention unapproved."

"Slytherin minds are unique, that's what you get when you're any other house."

When this one kid (who clearly already saw us so we didn't avoid) saw me, he gives me this up and down nod and I stare with shock. 

"Seriously?" Draco yells at him from down the hall. The kid turns and flips him off because he knew something was up between us. If I didn't know any better I'd say the same. 

I snort, "What, so you can leave me hanging with blue balls but when some random dude sees me and gives me a cheeky look you get all protective?"

"What, so you naturally get to assume I was okay with taking your virginity without a single word being shared about the fact that you have no idea what you're getting into?"

"Dick goes up the ass, penetration, oral maybe, teasing, I've got a vivid picture in my mind."

Draco shakes his head, "No, believe me I'd love to tear off your clothes and kiss every inch of your body while you call out my name-"

"Okay, done."

"–But, your first time should be special. Not some hot and heavy rough kinky shit."

I suppose going into it without knowing what he meant by 'special' might be a sign I should just listen. I wanted to, but if he had a point and I didn't understand, I didn't want to make a fool out of myself. 

"Okay, then...let's do it. I want to." I cling onto his arm like a pouty baby. Something about tasting his lips just gave me this confidence around him. 

"You don't get it. You barely know what it is, how would you know if you want to or not?"

As we're about to turn the corner to the busy hallway of all the students switching between classes, I grab his wrist because he was being a dumbass about to walk into that. Snape always stood outside the door when students left, so they wouldn't goof around in the halls. They're too afraid to. Now they're just paranoid he's watching over and will curse them if they even think about it. 

The Severus Snape effect, I like to call it. 

We collide against the wall and he gives this annoyed stare. 

"I just got carried away. It didn't happen."

I ignore him once the halls were empty, letting him drag me to his dormitory and using his wand to get out a handful of snacks.

While on our way back, we spot a familiar face, it was Ginny. She was walking and talking to a girl I didn't recognize, when I quickly grab Draco and shove him into the nearest door, which was that same closet from before. 

"Don't close it don't close it-" I mumble, peeking through the crack while she passes. 

Draco knowingly turned the light on because he knew I was claustrophobic, and I sigh relief, shutting it and waiting for the people to get to their classes.

When I turned, my eyes met with Draco's painfully smug eyes. He leaned against the wall, impatiently I might add. 

I knew it was a weird time to really bring it up, not that I haven't been arguing, because I have. 

"Why does it matter how I lose my virginity?" I tilt my head with pure curiosity. It was clear he wasn't up to arguing, as if I wouldn't continue though. 

"Harry, you should look back and be reminded it was special-"

"I'd rather look back and be reminded of how hot you looked."

"No, I'm serious, stop the flirting. Things shouldn't move that fast if we're gonna do that. I want it to work."

"Just because we didn't go on a date first-"

He groans, "You'd screw someone you don't know?"

"I know you better than anyone in this school."

"Pansy-"

"Yes," I give a stern stare, "Pansy doesn't know you. You know she doesn't. You've never let anyone get close to you." 

He grew silent and watched the shadows of kids charging the halls (quietly) to get to their next class. It was only enough to distract him for a second or two. 

Then, he looks up, "You mean something to me."

"Good." I nod back, "then making love to me shouldn't be difficult."

"How is the thought of wanting to hold you down against a shitty blow up mattress with your hands tied above your head and fucking you 'making love'?That's just an exclusive porno you would never have the money to afford."

I just slowly walk closer, and he knew what my goal was because he shook his head, "No, Potter, don't come any closer."

I didn't listen. I slowly press our chests together and lean close, which was enough to cover the light on his face with my shadow. 

It was a very dim light, barely working, but nonetheless a light source. 

"I want you," I almost forgot my short drawn pout, "don't you want to seize the moment? We could die any moment at all, and it could be before we even got a chance to make love. We have time, tomorrow we might not. You can treat me however...I want you to. I just want to feel you, I don't care how I take it."

"That's the thing, Harry." His eyes finally find mine after he stopped turning his face, "Either of us could die. Screwing you changes a lot, makes me accept this isn't just a blooming friendship. Then guess what; I lose you next. It's not our time."

"It'll never be our time, so why not make it our time?" 

All I felt when holding eye contact was hope. I hoped he'd give in, understand holding back will only result in walls. If he doesn't give in, he'll never experience what we could be. With anyone, because he could die tomorrow, or I could.

"Despite begging to lose my virginity, it's not as hot as it sounds." I plop on the floor with a sarcastic grunt. 

The halls are always crowded for at least ten minutes before it would die down. 

After a moment, he sits, "As much as I want to give in, it just changes what things are. You become even more of a target for Voldemort, I do too, he'll use it against us. Letting this become something more than just a friendship? You know it's a bad idea. Even you're not that dumb."

"We're already targets, he's already used it against us, he knows. Your dad is dead because you feel something more than platonic." 

Finally, he stopped arguing. Draco simply sat next to me with his head between his knee's, ending the discussion with a deep sigh. 

When I just suddenly inhale sharply, "Well, if you're not willing to take risks, I can go fuck anybody."

"I don't want to risk it because I don't want you dead, for fuck sake!" 

His sudden tone makes me wince, while my brows draw together in attempt to process it. 

"I'll die with or without you, it's just a side effect of being me."

"Which is why I don't want to take this any further than it already is. I don't want to end up falling for your stupid righteous ass just to end up with ptsd after witnessing Voldemort decapitating you."

Instead, I stood up, deciding this wasn't worth my effort and time. I twist the door open and stop for dramatic effect. 

"You're a pussy, Malfoy."

I walked through the crowds going undetected. 

It's pathetic. 

We're gonna die. We're in constant fear. We're at war. There is no pros or cons for either scenario's! Except one gives your remaining time on this horrid planet actually pleasurable. 

I'm not sure how I feel about his argument. Yeah, it'll hurt like a bitch, but in the end, it was something different. 

We aren't even gonna be twenty-one before potential death! We won't have time for love. It'll never just happen because the time would finally be right.   
If now isn't the time, then when is it?

That sounds like a bigger risk than being together. 

I just stormed back to Snape's room. 

What angered me more is he couldn't decide why we couldn't. First, it's my virginity, next it was not knowing me, then it was too risky. 

I mean, it just beyond angers me. 

Hours go by and he still hadn't came back. Just hiding in the closet, like one would when they're scared. 

It had become dark out, nothing but the stars lighting up the room. 

I felt like a hopeless housewife waiting for her cheating husband to come home so she knew when to stop moping. 

After what felt like days–when it was simply a few hours–I heard the door creek open. I expected a full apology, and to be treated like something more than what he's brushing me off to be. Otherwise I'm going to drop this and move on. 

If I've learned one thing from life, it's that I give a hell of a good cold shoulder and move on just as coldly. 

The light from the hallways peers into the room. It reflected off the wall and the side of my face. I could see his shadow, and for split second, I thought it was wrong, until I realized Ron wouldn't have known I wasn't in our dormitory. 

I turn my body to face him as he slowly shuts the door, in fear I was asleep. 

But the second he noticed I was awake, he sighs relief. 

"I-"

"Before you say anything, I need to say my part." 

The lad sits on the edge of my feet. He softly scoots closer to just be at my waist. "I'm not gonna be a cliche story. I won't ever be able to meet your standards. I'm not sure I deserve to be who you want me to be, or if I'm capable of it. But all I can promise is I can try. I'm a selfish bastard, and I'm extremely hypocritical and a narcissist, but one thing I'm not is a bad person. I know you deserve more than what I can offer, but if this is a mutual decision, you can back out any time you want. I won't blame you."

If I was capable of tears right now, I think I would've ugly cried into his neck. 

I sit up, all my features twitching from trying not to look sad. And then I smile, "That was one hell of a speech, how long did it take?"

He laughs, his eyes getting teary, "Bold if you to assume I was done.."

"Oh gosh, what else?"

"Without a doubt somebody isn't gonna make it to the other side of the tunnel. It'll be one of us, I don't doubt that. Im not perfect, which is something you deserve. I'm just...not boyfriend material. I have huge walls built, some ptsd, just a bit of anxiety, and I don't know how well I'd do letting you in. But all I can promise you is I'll try."

I smile, "You just did. Open up to me. And it's bold of you to assume you aren't perfect. Maybe to someone else you aren't, but I look at you and I see this guy, staring at me with so much self-doubt and misery and I want to get through that."

His tears rolled down his cheek as he subtly grabs my hand, which I had hardly noticed because I was holding a stern smile. 

"I have walls."

"Not a problem."

"And there's a good chance we'll die."

"Maybe so."

"And I can't guarantee this will ever turn into love."

"I'm willing to risk it."

Finally, he presses his forehead against mine, with a short shaky breath, "But, you don't deserve anything less than my effort to make it work. And who knows, maybe you're right, and this righteous hopeful personality you have actually helps you survive. All I know is I want to try it. And I am a pussy."

"I was just being harsh." I giggle. 

His lips were close, and I could almost taste him again. 

"In my defense, I wasn't the softest either." He paused, "Literally and figuratively."

I scoff playfully, "That was on you."

"Could be in you, though." 

"That was not smooth at all."

He grinned as our lips finally met each other, and closed the gap between us. 

Draco holds my face softly to keep me steady as his soft plump lips savored mine. 

He moved his lips carefully against me, not bringing tongue into the mix to let this remain soft. I knew this when this feeling came over me, the feeling being a big whole-hearted reminder that he needed something like this to reassure him it wasn't going to be the same as your average relationship. This was and will be different because we're willing to try. 

In this moment I was sure we both got that wholesome feeling. 

Suddenly, he breaks away to pull off my shirt, for the second time that day. Draco pulls his own off, and then proceeds to press me downward against the pillows. 

It wasn't too quick, just smoothly and carefully. 

He pushes off my lips and kisses down my neck to my collar bones. I brought my hand to the back of his head with a hitched breath, "Are we..?"

"Do you want to?" Draco pushes off my body for a moment to see my eyes, in case I was having second thoughts. 

However I wasn't, I just point to his chest, "Do you want to?"

"Of course I do."

He leans back down to kiss my neck as he's rocking his hips against me, in a circular motion. I drag my hands down to his torso and eagerly start to fumble with his jeans in attempt to get them off. 

With his lips on my neck and the little nibbles he'd give, I couldn't help myself. I wanted it.

I groan while my body gets nervous. I curl my toes, and it's almost as if my legs were expecting so much more than just this. 

They'd move with eagerness, because I couldn't stop imagining his lips between my legs. 

I'm new to this, I'm not sure where this is supposed to go. I'm not experienced and I've never bought porn, if I'm honest. 

But Draco knew where to take it. That's why I let him lead it. 

Draco pulls my hips downward to meet with his, "You put on a show, but you're nervous." 

I stare. He could see this was the case. 

Truth is I'm nervous as one would be, but all I know right now is this is who I want, all of him and exactly what I want. 

If there were to be anyone to take my virginity, I'd want it to be Draco. Now that he's more than just a stranger. 

"I see through you." He slowly unbutton's my jeans and carefully pulls them off, with both my legs together and resting on his shoulders while his bulge kisses my bare arse. "Though, being tense will only make it worse."

"Are you trying to scare me away?" I drop my legs around him to lean forward, "Because I may be inexperienced, but I know a thing or two."

He watches my scrawny hands fumble with his own pants, enjoying the vivid sight of his dick popping out the second his boxers dropped. 

With more and more time gone by, the more I realized how nervous I was to learn. Especially with Draco watching. 

Yes, I'm nervous, but I don't feel pressured. To have the pleasure (literally) of giving Draco everything I can as of now means more than just a simple fuck. 

I'm not in love with him or anything, but I want to give him something words can't. 

Being in love in this century? Cute, but gay. Not approved. Especially with all the attention surrounding the aids riots. 

I take Draco in my mouth without a single word, feeling as my jaw unhinged just to do this. It felt good, knowing that he was feeling good. I just wanted to make him feel good. 

"Fuck-" he squints when he realizes I wasn't hesitating to give him my all despite not knowing how far my all could go. 

I maneuver my tongue in swirling motions around his tips, also in attempt to fit him in my mouth. 

If I'm honest, he's big, but I'm not entirely sure I have a range for comparison. 

Draco lets me take my time, he knows I wasn't entirely sure this is how it goes. 

I look up, only to see him grinning and he pulls his hips back to lean down and kiss my lips, "I'll show you, hm?"

"There's a difference between showing, and teaching." I stroke him as we're still close, kissing him one more time before leaning back down.

"The tip is what's most sensitive, and pleasure is based on preference, but one thing that gets every guy, is the tip." Draco positions himself to help me take him in my mouth. 

The tip goes in, and this time, I use my tongue to swirl around the tip, staring up for his approval. When he closes his eyes and opens his mouth from the pleasure, I take it as an approval and continue. 

"A-And, one thing people forget with blowjobs..i-is suction. And easy on the teeth. It's a process."

I only manage to fit him halfway in my mouth, before I give in and start sucking.

"Use..your tongue to continue that warmth with the suction, so you aren't sucking dry, and you.." He feels me obey and moans, holding my hair, "bob..your head-"

I do as he says. And carefully, I grab his hips and easily feel his muscles having a spasm, not intense but just enough to exist. 

I pull my hand down and massage his balls (because I know that at least feels good), but he hunches over me, squeezing his muscles together, "Okay Okay Okay, Potter- Jesus- you're gonna make me cum."

As he pulls himself back, I watch with intent, "Isn't that the point?"

"Not if you want to screw." 

Draco tugs my pants down, "Inexperienced?" His breath hitched while he leans over me and between my legs. 

"I was just doing what you said."

"I must be a good teacher, because damn." He kisses my lips for split second, when he just pulls my pants down for a second time that day and kisses down my torso, until reaching my thighs. 

He looks up to see a expression filled with pleasure flooding over my eyes. 

Because that's when he took me into his mouth, knowing that this, too, would be my first time receiving something like this. 

My head falls back, as he takes me deeper and deeper into his throat. 

It was no surprise he knew how to give the same way I was before. What surprised me was just how amazing it actually felt. 

Every time he slowed down even slightly, I'd throb for that same pleasure as before.

"Right there right there-"

Draco covers my mouth when a short shadow steps into the light, that stood through the cracks of the door. 

They always do hall checks and then the lights go out after. Not that the hall checks were necessary. People have either got permission to leave Hogwarts or those who don't have a home besides this school are hiding in their rooms, avoiding as much as possible. 

Once the clacking of their shows disperses further and further away to match the lights going out, he pulls back to see my face. 

I just..kind of wanted to say I love you. Whether I meant it or not I just felt so overwhelmed. 

But no, I've heard the stories. One thing you never bleed out during sex is I love you if it's never been said. 

You'll think it's alright, but then the next day you're being avoided because you said the L word. 

"You want more?" He murmured huskily against my neck. I hold the back of his head as my whole body erupts in a cold sensation, because I was aching for more than just a simple love bite on the neck. 

"I want you." 

As easy as I could, I pull him up to my lips once more, only this time he pulled back with angst. He was debating what more could be done, all things considered. And by all things, I mean me not being experienced and not able to tell him how or what I want. 

Porn isn't exactly something I can get off of, only tried once and then I've just forever backed off it. 

Honestly, look at it as educational and then you don't feel as bad for buying porn. 

"Stay here." 

I watch his back dimples move swiftly across the room to grab something from a drawer. Draco returns back between my legs with a clear plastic bottle. 

The sound of the cap flicking open sends a shiver down my spine, because moments later he drizzles it between my thighs, moving it closer to my hole. 

Because we weren't in the best position (but one I preferred, Draco grins while my face curls into a pleasured expression because his fingers. 

"I can go slow," he says, briefly, "or, I can be forward and more dominant."

"Mm," I smile? "the thought sounds hot."

Draco got the answer easily, because going slow felt like it's what we should've done, but dominant just ringed my bell. 

He slowly puts his middle finger inside me, which had caused a stinging pain that was crucifying my nerves. 

I didn't know it was possible to piss your nerves off, but I felt like I was in a fight or flight scenario. 

Draco narrows his eyes on me as he stretches me out further and further. 

"Your first time is gonna hurt," he says, but I scoff, my legs naturally causing me to try and squirm away, "I think that saying is really just for the straight girls, I don't think it goes both ways-"

He could feel my struggle to get words out, so he shoved another finger inside me, in which I gasped, "Motherfucker!"

"Huh, slipped."

"I get it I'm a smartass-" I groan loudly when accidentally moving the wrong way while squirming, and his curled stiff fingers hit something that sent a bolt of pleasure through and up my insides, "I-"

He's staring in shock, "That was easy. It usually takes like at least five fucks to hit that."

"Stop talking," I desperately pull his wrist closer and his fingers deeper, "please d- please, just do that- again."

And so he starts to pump his fingers, using the sounds of pleasure leaving my lips to navigate. 

Words could not explain how good this felt to experience. 

It was so pleasurable that I forgot that his fingers were painful, and that it was even possible to get pleasure out of that pain. 

"You're so fucking hot." Draco watches me squirm but force myself to stay in place, because he kept repeatedly hitting whatever the hell he was doing. 

I moan even louder at his praising tossed into the pleasure. 

Then, I realize, this could feel even better, "Wait Wait Wait-"

Draco doesn't stop to tease me, in fact he goes even harder with his fingers and practically lifts my arse off the mattress from trying to get me to orgasm so bad. 

Any second my stomach was gonna have to unleash that warm tingling feeling and I knew I'd orgasm any second from how hard and close I was. 

It was too intense for me to fathom. 

"Stop- I want more-"

"Cum for me," his pretty sapphire blue eyes stare me down with such innocence, when this moment was the opposite. 

I've never been the religious type. In fact religion is just...for the muggles, if I'm honest. 

Some part of me has always disapproved of the concept of me praising a man who can sound hypocritical (I don't believe that was him though, more so the muggles who praise him and give a bad message). 

Draco, one last time, pumps his fingers with such passion, and I finally almost yell out as I cum, only for him to cover my mouth because these walls were old, and definitely not soundproof. 

Having sex in this school is the hardest concept possible. You either can't because the professors are too strict and don't stand for anything sexual related (mainly because of their sexual harassment rule, and the sexism rule applies here too) and so it's strictly educational, and no, there is no sex ed. 

He hovers over me with his fingers still pumping pleasure into my veins, and slowly watches me come down from the orgasm.

I exhale so passionately, words won't even come out of my mouth. 

"What is it you wanted to say?"

Draco's voice was just so...moving that his eyes were enough to make me want to orgasm again. 

"Do that..." I swallow harshly, because my throat was hurting from everything escaping it, "again, but fuck me, please."

"I think I can do that," he pretends to check a watch as I let a horny sigh slide off my tongue, wanting to laugh but not having the energy to from the sexual encounter. "I'd love nothing more than to do you that pleasure."

He starts to push off of me and I weakly hold his head while he positions himself. The two of us watch with intent as he slowly pushes inside me. 

I was still coming down from what had happened, that I barely even knew I was sweating, or that my breathing was very rigid, or that I had came all over both mine and Draco's stomachs. 

The pain was there, but all I could feel was how my walls were rubbing up against him inside me, or the touch of his soft skin brushing over mine, and his hands softly holding up my legs. 

Finally, his hips hit mine, and the two of us let a short grunt out as he briskly falls over me. His eyes shut to take in the feeling, every second counted as a pleasurable moment in our minds. 

His hands too had let go of my legs and fell on top of mine, and he holds them in case I needed something to hold onto, but it was so nice that the pain was practically nonexistent. 

That or my mind didn't focus on it, which made it feel nonexistent. 

When he feels I finally had adjusted, Draco slowly builds up and thrusts inside me. 

My jaw hangs open ever so slightly, and Draco carefully presses his lips against my open ones. 

I kiss him back, only for a split second, until the pace gets a little more passionate with speed and I squint my eyes shut and moan into his shoulder. 

"You feel so good." He whispers, with this sexy tone in which I respond with another moan. 

The penetration triggered that same pleasure from earlier, and I realized Draco had adjusted his position to hit that same spot again. 

He thrusted into me with this soft and slow pace, but I ached for more. My dick ached and ached until I gasp, curling my toes because he hit the spot again. 

My nerves were on fire, as a warmth spread through each and every square inch of my body. 

"Ohh- my god, do that-again- a-"

"Faster?" He helped me finish my sentence. But instead of awaiting some approval that I couldn't function enough to give, he did it anyway and quickened his hips. 

The moment felt so personal and soft, despite it being about causing an intense orgasm rather than making me feel loved, if that's even the point. I'm not sure what the point is. Pleasure, love? Should there not be a difference?

"You're gonna m-make me cum- agai-n! Draco- please-" I could feel my body with intensity, just slowly getting closer and closer to the edge. 

As if I were on the edge of a cliff, and if I fell, I fell into a pit of shock and warmth. Like I were on drugs, and it's starting to hit and forcing me out of reality. 

"You stole the words out of my mouth."

He leans in, trying to kiss me but he throws his head back in pleasure, leaving an opening for my lips. I attach my lips to his neck and sexily nibble and suck, until I'm too satisfied with the feeling of him repeatedly hitting the spot one last time. 

With that last thrust, I felt like a rocket, all too quickly targeting the sky. 

He immediately pulls out and falls backwards onto the mattress, as I quite literally shake so bad that my top half of my body falls off the bed and hits the floor, which wasn't too far. 

We both pant, staring at one another from the side. 

"Holy shit."

"Holy shit." He says with me, "I think I just earned bragging rights."

I hum in response, not acknowledging the sticky situation we have going. 

I was on a drug, and slowly was coming down from the sky. All too quickly, it was over.

-


	9. Chapter 9

When I wake up, I have a massive headache. I don't know why, but I felt it were connected to the chest of books. 

Anyways, Draco's arm draped around me ever so carefully. The two of us were naked. 

I had almost forgot what went down last night. That woke me up; remembering what happened between us. 

When was something so far from realistic ever supposed to happen? Specifically us screwing? I never thought I'd see the day. 

When I sat up, it was rushed, because when I fell asleep last night I had still yet to process what happened. Draco slowly fluttered his own eyes open, adjusting to the bright sunlight that kissed the very edges of his structured face. 

"Morning." He runs a finger up my arm, because he could tell something was up. 

I simply run a finger through my hair, "Last night..was that real?"

"Hm,"

Draco just hums, sitting up, "Walk to the door."

I furrowed my eyebrows, "What, am I a runway model?"

"With those legs? I'm sure you could be."

While I could bicker, I decided not to. I stood, and a sharp stinging pain corrupts my bum and back, "Oof-"

Immediately I sit, biting my fingertips. 

"Last night was real," he pats my bum while pulling on his boxers and goes to his suitcase and grabs a fresh pair of casual clothes. Your average black skinny jeans and a white shirt tucked in. 

Not his usual style, but still works. He didn't have a specific distinct style, but I know he leaned towards his body type. Whatever suited him, he'd wear. Black was a big style choice, I've learned. 

Anyways, I look over at him watching a bird outside the window. He easily found beauty in anything that caught his eye. 

And yet another side to Draco I've picked up on. 

Behind the desperate attention-seeking act–which really only was towards me, so I've learned–he was truly this genuine person who's just misunderstood. 

He's destined for things no other would even remotely have a chance to achieve. Then I came around, and he felt threatened. 

Some kid who never had to try to be considered the chosen one? Meanwhile he's grown up surrounded by that?

Of course he felt threatened. Draco Malfoy was supposed to be different, and then somebody put him in the background and stole his reputation, of which he worked for. 

So I understand him now. I've looked at all angles. 

When he looks back down at me, he looked cheekily at my neck.

"Why the smug face?" I ask, softly. 

"Not smug, just..admiring my work." He let a sigh out and grinned at me as he pressed a short kiss onto my lips. "I've got coffee. Want some?"

I rub my neck, as if I'd be able to feel the hickey, but that didn't happen.

He pushed me off of him casually and got up after grabbing a mug from the floor. 

"You have a bloody coffee machine? How'd you manage that?" I stared dumbfounded. But Draco chuckled, "That's a secret."

"Lemme guess," I tapped my finger on my chin, and put on my surprises face, "magic??!??"

He snorted at my muggle impression and handed me the mug of coffee. "No creamer, sadly. Sugar, though."

I waved him off, "It's fine. I've gotta go find Hermione and check up on her."

"I have to check up on Pansy, but I'm in no rush." He trailed his fingers up my leg and I watched with caution, "It's too early. And you may be in no rush, but Hermione is, which means I am too. Capeesh?"

"Aye-aye captain." He saluted and grabbed my coffee from my hands and sipped it, "Only one mug."

I chuckled, "Alright, whatever. Where'd you put my clothes?"

"On the desk." He pointed while glancing up at the ceiling again. He did that often I've learned. I stood up and glanced at them and then cocked an eyebrow, "Folded? Mm, husband material. Harry Malfoy."

Draco scoffed, "Please, you don't want to take on the Malfoy name. Potter is much better."

"Draco..Potter. Has a nice ring to it."

"Great, I'll call our families and make the announcement- oh..wait." He gave me a fake smile, I'd call his expression an 'oh darn' face. That's what popped in my head when I saw it. 

I shook my head, "Funny. Ha-ha."

He waved me off smugly as I pulled my clothes on, making my way towards the doorknob to grab my shirt Draco had thrown last night. 

I could feel his eyes on me, so I glanced behind my shoulder and saw him eyeing me. 

"You sure you were a virgin? You're handling the limp like a champ." 

He tapped my bum when I passed him to grab my shoes and I narrow my eyes, "You're flattering yourself. Who said there's a limp?"

"Hey, don't insult me. I haven't had sex since before all this death eater bullshit. Next time you'll get the full experience. A limp and everything."

"Next time?" I raised both my eyebrows but he only bit his lip and took a sip of his coffee. 

"My bad, I just assumed this wasn't a one night stand. Seeing as you're running out on me, I guess we'll keep it professional fro-"

I dropped both my shoes and got down on my knee's, pressing my lips against his. It was nice how I could just do that without question. How it was so casual. 

Casual was the last thing I expected from Draco, but we're pulling it off and I bloody love it. 

I could feel as a smile tugged against his lips and he laughed into me, "Never did I think I'd be in my dead professors office kissing my mortal enemy after a night of taking his virginity."

I pulled back and sighed sarcastically, "Well, I didn't think I was gay until about up to twelve hours ago, we're all full of surprises."

"Pshh, you've always been gay. You don't come out straight with that haircut you used to have during first and second year."

"Says the one who slicked it all back with excessive amounts of hair gel."

"Touché." 

I raised my eyebrows for a moment and then pat his leg, "Find me later. Back to business. We figure out the Pansy plan today."

"Got it, boss."

I smirked at him as I kicked my shoes on and left the room. It was cute how he was calling me 'captain' and 'boss' despite him topping last night and being dominate. I liked that he considered me in charge, unless it was in bed. That was a new thing, and I thought it was pretty damn cute/cool.

I ventured through the halls until I managed to get to Hermione's room. She and her fellow mates that decided to stay were all scattered along the same bed, which felt impossible when looking at the size. 

I'm guessing Luna and Ginny decided to stay with her and they had some sleepover because none of them shared a room. 

Luna laid next to Hermione with their feet tangled and Ginny had her feet up on the bed and the rest of her body on the floor. I can picture how that happened. 

I carefully stepped over Ginny and went to Hermione, "Hey,"

She murmured some rubbish and lazily swatted me away. 

"Hermione!" I whispered while shaking her. 

Hermione opened her eyes slightly when she recognized my voice and then smiled slightly, "Hey..where'd you run off to yesterday? I got worried.."

I chuckled as I straightened my back and took a look around the room, "You...genuinely would not believe me if I told you." I could see Pansy laying on her own separate bed, curled up into a ball with some other random girl spooning her, one I've never met, nor recognize.

Hermione moves Luna's legs and sits up to rub her eyes. "Find Draco?"

"Yeah..I did."

"And..?"

"And..I went to bed."

"You're a terrible liar. Your eyes do this thing where they glue onto whoever you lie to and you study their reaction to see if they bought it or not. Can you tell I didn't buy it?"

I sighed heavily, "Yes. Mainly because you called me out. We'll talk about it later. I just wanted to make sure you were alright." 

She only nodded in response and laid back down next to Luna to go back to sleep. This gave me time to...go do something, I guess. 

"Walk with a little more passion Potter, I can see the limp." Pansy said without even opening her eyes. I stopped and glanced at her with a grin, and straightened myself one last time as I went through the door. 

What to do..?

I mean, there really wasn't anything to do..

The halls were as empty as can be. 

This was the only time I think I'd ever get the entire shower room to myself. 

I smirked as I ran down to my room with pride, and grabbed a new pair of clothes because mine reeked. It's been a long two days, I guess. 

When I reached the showers, they were empty, just as imagined. I've never had great experiences in the boys shower room. It's not that people pulled pranks, it's more I get flustered if I make eye contact. 

Maybe that was a sign I was gay. Or..bi, I genuinely don't know. 

I'd always keep my eyes low because if I didn't, somebody would catch me staring and then rumors form. Sometimes I'd even get the slightest bit of a glimpse, you know, of someone's junk. That was another sign, because I never looked away until it got covered up. 

Though, I was always in my shower when that happened, because otherwise I'd be averting my eyes to the ground. 

I had my shower caddy with me and didn't even bother to keep a towel on my waist when I picked my shower. It was empty. Who cares?

I turned the water on, let it heat, and even for the fun of it left my shower curtain open. Because why not? I'll enjoy this peaceful environment as long as I can. 

When I finally let the water hit my bare skin, I remained care free when the door opened to the room. 

So what someone saw my ass? I don't care. 

"You should bring a taser in here." A familiar voice said, one that caught my attention. I turned and saw Draco, who wasn't allowed to be in here. This was Gryffindor's showers. 

"Yeah, to tase Slytherin's who waltz in." I turned with a smirk and pinched his side and he chuckled and backed up. 

"No, you arse. Showers are where you're most vulnerable. I almost got raped once by this arsehole. Got him suspended for two months because of it. Bullshit huh?"

"You shouldn't joke about that, ya know." I turned back around and let my hair soak up the water. He scoffed, "It wasn't a joke! It happened."

"Why're you in here?" I grabbed my shampoo from the caddy but Draco took it out of my hand, "Hermione said you'd probably be here. She said you wouldn't miss an opportunity to have the whole room alone."

"How'd you know where to find Hermione?"

"Dark magic, keep up. You're so slow."

I hummed in response and tried to reach for my shampoo which I could barely see, but Draco backed up slightly with a grin and grabbed my glasses that sat on my towel outside the shower. 

I sighed in response, "What do you want?"

"Finally, a good question! You, preferably."

"Hah, I might have to pass. Not in the mood." 

Draco furrowed his eyebrows but I just shook my head because I could barely see his expression. I snatched my glasses from his hand and managed to tap his bum when I did. 

Despite being in the shower, I put them on anyway, I did this when I needed to, water doesn't hurt the lenses. 

Once I saw, I realized he was fully naked. How could I not see that before?!! I just assumed his clothes were a peachy white color, I was wrong. 

"You? One who just lost his virginity? Not in the mood?" Draco walked in closer and shut the curtain but I rolled my eyes, "I'm worried about Ron. Everything's going wrong and here we are, having fun. It feels wrong."

"Last I checked it felt good.." 

I grabbed the bottle of shampoo, "If you listen to me rant I'll let you do whatever except fuck me. I'm not in the mood for it."

"Deal.." he turned me around so I were facing him and pressed me against the wall, the water running down his back and causing his hair to get wet. It was a beautiful sight. 

"It just really sucks how after my entire life this war really still goes on. I mean I'm not surprised I'm just drained, ya know?" 

He nodded as he pulled my hand down to his dick and forced me to stroke him until I started without his guidance. 

"Not to mention it's just hurting everyone else? Ron doesn't deserve this bullshit, Hermione doesn't deserve the distress, you don't deserve the distress, I'm tired of it. And now we're putting your friend in danger? It's getting out of hand. I wish we could just end it."

He leaned closer and pressed his moist smooth lips against my neck, "We can, together."

I sighed, "If it were that simple we'd be done." 

Draco pressed a series of kisses down to my collar bone and aggressively pressed his chest against mine when I wrapped an arm around his neck for a better grip. 

"It just sucks because I can't involve this entire school again. It's like fifty-fifty, that's increasing the risk of everybody dying. That's selfish to bring people into the war, people who didn't ask to be."

Draco put his hand down on my crotch area and moved his fingers to my hole, circling the rim. "It's selfish for them to not want to fight in this war. It's their lives or Voldemort's. Really, their choice. It's not your call to make."

"No, but it should be-" I gasped when he pushed a finger inside of me and grabbed the back of his hair, only resulting in him snickering, "You didn't say I couldn't finger you..."

"Finger-fucking is included!" I lifted my leg slightly because I couldn't control the uncomfortableness but Draco grabbed my leg and made it rest on his hip as he continued pumping his fingers, "You're too late to call it now."

"Wh-whatever," I took a short breath and rest my chin on his shoulder so I could continue, "I'm lost- without Dumbledore, I have no idea's. It's just a sim- simple plan, sneak in, outsmart, kill purple nose-less dimwit, but how?!!"

My voice cracked a few times because he started giving me hickey's all over the upper half of my body, even one on my jaw, but I knew he was listening either way. 

"We figure out how today, once Hermione and Pansy are ready. And then we leave today, so you either keep ranting and stressing about your life problems in what could possibly be your last moments alive, or..you let me show you how much we've grown and fuck you. Choices, oh choices.."

"I need to actually shower though-" I tried but he set the bottle aside because I had just been holding it with my free hand. Draco looked at me at nodded, "You'll get to shower, but you have to get me to cum first. A way to speed it up is let me stick it in the ass."

"Is there honestly anywhere else you'd be able to stick it?" I laughed slightly. 

He shrugged, "I mean, yeah, but it seems too...unrealistic to picture."

"Whatever, just do it, but when we're done I get to rant and you have to wash my hair and scrub my body spotless."

"Yes sir...I can do that." He kissed my jaw one last time before I closed my eyes, allowing myself to drown in the pleasure I was already experiencing.

~

It wasn't long before he came on my bum, and when he did the two of us took a moment to breathe before I turned to face him. 

I don't think he was trying to last, honestly. I'm not judging, I wanted him to be quick. 

"Damn.." Draco murmured, smiling tiredly when he leaned closer for a kiss. 

All the showers had walls, except if you were tall, the walls cut off at your shoulders, so you could awkwardly make eye contact with the naked person next to you. Why was it like that? No clue. 

And you didn't even have to be tall, because I wasn't, and I could still see over. 

Some people went as far as blocking the gap with magic because it was so annoying. I've done it before. 

Draco and I heard the door open and we broke apart immediately. I looked over and saw Neville, of all people. 

Immediately, I shoved his head down so he'd go to his knees, "Go! Christ-"

"Harry??" Neville asked, confused. 

"Hey..Neville." I forced a smile, because if I didn't I'm afraid I'd moan. Draco had started to kiss all over the bottom half of my body and put my dick in his mouth.

He tapped my side and I snapped out of it and opened my eyes at Neville. 

"You alright..?" He walked into the shower next to me fully clothed and grabbed something, I think it was his phone. 

"Yeah..yeah, my leg is just cramping. I'm fine." 

He just nodded awkwardly and slowly walked out of the shower room, in which I finally let out the moans I was holding because he finally left. 

It was quick, but felt like he was in here forever. 

I moaned loudly and gripped Draco's hair as he bobbed his head. 

For a moment, he pulled back, "If you want a shower you have to cum too."

This sex thing that was going on with us felt even better than just casual sex. I don't know why I liked it so much, the secrecy of us banging, I liked it, I really did. 

My eyes followed his head back and forward until I finally felt like I were gonna cum. When I did, Draco allowed it to be in his mouth, even swallowing. 

The sight of him not even gagging was beautiful, not to mention annoying because that meant he's done this type of thing before. I know I'd be gagging.

I let go of his hair and fell forward slightly so I could grip the wall behind him, my eyes shut. "Holy shi-"

He moved his head all the way down my cock and managed to make my tip hit the back of his throat. In which I responded by moaning loudly and cumming in his mouth. 

"Fucking hell Draco-" I murmured and he laughed slightly, putting his hands up as if it were a celebration. 

He whooped, "Its been too long since I've actually had good sex, I fucking love this."

"Am I just sex to you?" I ran my fingers through his hair patiently as he began to stand up. 

His eyes met with mine and he wiped something off my lips. He looked almost as if he were admiring, which seems almost impossible. 

"I'm pretty much incapable of anything other than sexual attraction-" he giggled when I glared and then gave a short sigh. "Seriously, Potter, quit worrying, if I wanted to use you I would've the first night in the safe house. This was all built up. You need to calm your tits and let it ride out."

I didn't respond and pursed my lips because can you honestly blame me for being slightly afraid? This felt all too quick for me. I mean we went from hating each other to fucking and I don't remember that happening. 

"I just have a weird feeling about this. I mean it's nice yeah, but I can't help but worry." I finally said, but only because he was staring me down and I was getting shy. 

Draco grabbed the bottle of shampoo and poured a small amount in his hands, beginning to massage it into my hair. 

I took my glasses off because I could kind of see him since he was so close, and sighed. 

"Do I have to make you a goddamn promise, Potter?"

As childish as it sounded, it would feel reassuring because Draco never does that stuff. And the one time he does, you know he'll take it seriously. 

He pushed my hair out of my forehead and stared me directly in the eyes, "I promise I'm not using you for pleasure. Do you honestly think after everything so far I'd use you? You've got a fucking darkness in you I'm not trying to get my brains blown out because you don't approve of the sex."

I snorted, "Maybe the darkness should be a reason you stay away. It could lash out, I don't know how it works."

"I'll take my chances, I've seen far worse." Draco pat the side of my cheek and then moved my body under the running water. He had turned me so my back was pressed against his chest and he tilted my head backwards so water didn't get in my eyes, letting me rest my head on his shoulders.

"This is nice.." I said quietly. It was, it really was. 

He responded with a humming noise and then reached to turn the water off after we had went through that same process with conditioner. 

"Why am I so comfortable with you? I shouldn't be comfortable." I murmured, turning around to face him as he pulled a towel from the table. He grunted, "Aside from the fact we slept together..we've been fighting the same war. You gotta be comfortable with your war buddies, yeah?"

"War buddies?!! Buddies?" I exclaimed but he turned to face the mirror. I watched him carefully adjust his towel and then he watched me in the mirror. "Was buddies too platonic?"

"A little, yeah."

"Well anything else I'd say would just be considered an insult, so I'll refrain from it."

"It already was an insult." I grinned and stood next to him as my eyes followed his in the mirror. He nodded my way and finally turned to me, "Come on, I wanna go steal all Neville's snacks before he goes back to the room. Doubt there's any actual food during this time."

"You're stalling," I grabbed his hip and squeezed, "don't stall. I'm just as anxious as you are. Pansy will be fine. I know."

Draco frowned slightly, "It's not stalling. I'm just worried. I need a distraction.."

"Look as much as I enjoy hooking up we should slow down a bit I can't handle it-"

"No! Potter. I mean overall I just need someone to distract me. I don't care how."

Oh...makes sense.

He then continued, "By the way, Potter, If we're hooking up it needs to be hot I didn't spend my entire life dedicated to ruining yours for our sexual attraction towards each other to be boring. Throw in a few kinks and we'll be set."

I stared at him for a moment and stared at myself in the mirror like I was disappointed in myself for allowing his stupid jokes. I was hella confused. 

Draco noticed and snickered quietly to himself, but I noticed. 

My head snapped and I frowned, "The hell is a kink?"

"I'll teach you later." Draco quickly threw a shirt on and walked over to me because I was by his stuff. He leaned close but only to grab his comb, but he didn't pull back right away. 

His mouth softly rubbed the very hairs on my neck, not even touching my skin. His breath following his lips and to my ear, "Notice how this makes you react? It's because you have a kink. Like people like getting tied up."

"That's what people mean when they say 'I'm a little tied up'??? What?!??" I widened my eyes and suddenly can't stop thinking back to the time I had called Hermione when I needed to hear her voice. 

It doesn't seem like Ron or Hermione to be into that. But I guess they are. 

"There's different meanings but one is sexual, the other just means you're busy. How you interpret it is your choice." He grinned cheekily as he pulled pants on. "I was serious about Neville's snacks though. Feel free to come find me when you're done."

His eyes wandered down to my lower half and then trailed back up when he turned the corner. I waited until he was out of sight to let go of that sexually frustrated sigh. 

"You're gonna watch porn today, Harry. Because you're a clueless fucking twit." I nodded to myself in the mirror and someone walked in as I said that. 

I pursed my lips when we made eye contact and quickly threw clothes on and rushed out of there. Heh, as if I wasn't already embarrassed enough. 

Instead of meeting Draco, I rushed down to Hermione's room to see if she was up. She wasn't when I got there, but her phone wasn't in sight either. I sighed. 

Now I started to head to my room where Draco would be. He'd be there stealing Neville's shit. I wasn't too surprised to see his knees tucked into his chest with a bag of popcorn laying on the bed next to him. 

He looked away from the small tv Neville snuck in three years ago. It's old, but works. 

"What do you want?" Draco gestured towards me for no reason and tried to fit even more pieces of popcorn into his mouth. 

"Frankly, your affection. Hermione is still asleep which means we have more time to figure stuff out without them." 

I wanted to say figure out us, but we all know it was too soon to label this. I'm afraid if we label it it'll become some big commitment that neither of us can afford because everyone's out to kill us. Yeah, makes sense. 

"Pfft, fuck you, Potter. I don't do affection."

And here is where we skip ten seconds to the point where I rest on his chest while one arm is around me and the other is holding onto my arm. 

His smug face remained in tact because his sarcasm from earlier. 

What I did was roll my eyes and walk over and lay on him. You don't need a big explanation to get the gist?

I glanced at the tv and saw some random movie playing. Without a second thought I grabbed the remote from in between Draco's legs and switched to the news. 

He groaned, "Come on! I was watching that."

"Watch it later." I mumbled as I read over the words. Any chance I get I always check the news. Since Ron of course.

But I can't, because I have no phone. It sucks, I have to find Hermione's or someone I know who's nearby and too would be checking it nonstop. 

There wasn't anything of Ron or Voldemort, so Draco snatched it back and turned the channel. 

"Wait-" I pouted when he succeeded, "There could've been more about it later."

"If there's anything–I can promise you–your friend Hermione will be all over it. You shouldn't be on watching duty."

Somehow, I felt like he was right. Though Ron is my friend, I kind of get a short break here and instead of being a nervous wreck I should be enjoying this. 

But that's hard to say, when your friend gets kidnapped tell me how you're gonna take a break without worrying. With how much I've been through, it felt easy to zone out the Ron stuff, just long enough to relax with Draco. 

I glanced to the side where he was fumbling with the sheets. His face seemed uneasy, which made me uneasy. 

"You alright?" I couldn't help but feel concerned. 

Draco nodded nonchalantly, "Yeah, fine, why?"

I simply rolled my eyes at his blatant lie. "Something is clearly bothering you."

"Yeah, could say the same for you."

"What??!"

He shrugged, barely even reacting. He didn't even look away from the tv. Like? What?

I sighed out of annoyance because he didn't really care about my concern and was hardly listening. 

Draco noticed my frown and kind of glanced at me but also just didn't acknowledge me. 

I rolled slightly in his arm and kicked my leg up and over to his other side, "Can I ask some personal questions?" My eyes wandered up to find his and that definitely caught his attention. He furrowed his eyebrows and nodded with complete and utter caution. I'm sure he's never got that question before. 

"The other day when you were arguing with Pansy, you talked about this masked Draco that was almost as if you had to completely change your personality for the sake of your life. And that you went through it alone?" I looked away to fumble with his shirt because eye contact would maybe spark some moment and make me want to kiss him, but I really wanted answers. It had been bothering me. "Could you elaborate on all that?"

He inhaled sharply and carefully nodded. "It was almost as if Voldemort just..sensed weakness. I had to completely switch my personality because he just knew I wasn't committed. That I was resistant. He hated resistance. It fucked his reputation, if he let someone get away with resistance. So, I practically altered my personality and made it unrecognizable, which he reacted by making me do more tasks. He knew that I was doing this, but I guess I took it too far because at a point I enjoyed the rage that filled inside me. He ruined my life. And I did go through it alone, no friends were able to comfort me, they were too afraid, my parents left when it all started. Selfish prick, my dad was. He forced my mum to leave me. So I stayed, and every day did something the old me would never. Like I got careless, less anxious. It wasn't my best time."

I finally looked up and saw his eyes begin to turn red, but he wasn't crying. It was just threatening to. He wasn't gonna allow it. I could tell it was gonna be fought. 

"How'd you get out of it?"

"Voldemort wanted me to find you, keep an eye on you. He always knew I had it out for you, but I always had a choice when it came to you. Voldemort took my choice. So it was different, now. I didn't like the idea of being forced to be on your bad side and maybe eventually have to kill you. So when I got the opportunity to go back to Hogwarts out of complete sympathy, I took it and waited until they realized I wasn't reporting in. That's when Bellatrix came, and that's when this all started. Funnily enough, instead of killing you we ended up fucking. I blame Voldemort."

He gave a dry chuckle and I rubbed his side, "If it makes you feel better it's over now."

"It'll never be over." He whispered as he–kind of desperately–pulled me up and closer to his face, so my head could lay on his neck and he could reach my bum. If we're being honest, I think that was the only reason he pulled me closer. 

"You're with me now, and I'm quite confident that you are not going to die under my watch. I'll make sure of it. I'm Harry fucking Potter, if I were to let people I care about die you wouldn't have just heard my name as a good thing. But you did, because I have a good reputation."

"How reassuring.." he smiled as I swung my leg over him and pulled myself up to straddle him, "It is fucking reassuring, you're right. Quit it with your tragic beliefs and just trust me for once." 

"I do trust you, but I'm afraid when it comes to Voldemort, not even Harry fucking Potter can save me from whatever he has in store." Draco ran a hand over my face when he sat up and got very close to my face. 

I didn't react how I wanted to, I was kind of dumbfounded. It hurt to see him so unhopeful, everybody needs at least a little faith in someone. 

"You're trying to be sweet despite completely admitting you have absolutely no faith in me and admitting that you think in the end of all this you'll be dead. You're funny, Malfoy." I pushed his hand away and tilted my head out of anger. 

Look, I'm gonna be direct. Under no circumstances will I let this blonde arse die, it's just like a given fact that I'll protect him with all I have. Any last decision I have to make to save him I will, because fuck happy endings. This is war bitch, and war has casualties. 

This war will end with Draco alive, even if I'm not. I don't care. He's damaged, I only wish I could've helped him sooner. I wish I would've discovered our potential sooner. 

"There's not a thing you can do to change the fact that somebody is gonna die, and you're delusional if you think it'll be you just so I can live. That's selfish of me, funny that you think I'll allow it." He pressed a small kiss on my lips to shut me up from arguing. He knew the sweet gesture would shut me up, and it did. 

I didn't know how to react to such an uncommon thing. I'm still getting used to it, but in the middle of a serious conversation? It just warmed my heart, and took a moment to process. 

He laid back down and watched the Telly, ignoring the fact that I was straddling him. His blank expression left me angered, but I just sighed, turning to get off him and wake Hermione, but he grabbed me and said a quiet 'stay'.

"Do you honestly care if I leave to wake Hermione, Malfoy?" I was trying to guilt him, but it didn't work. He just stared me in the eye and said, "Yes, I care if you leave."

So, I slowly got in the position he wanted, which was laying on top of him and tangling our legs together with my head on his chest. 

His words were so blank, there was no passion or anything in them, but my god it meant so much to me hearing him admit he didn't want me to leave. It shouldn't, because it's something cheesy and probably out of a movie, but because those words left his mouth, I was extremely happy. 

I quickly wrapped my arms around his body slightly and he rested his at his side, but one hung onto my arm softly, just so we were touching. I didn't think much of it, and before you know it, I drifted off and fell asleep. 

I didn't wake for awhile. It wasn't until I heard a door open and I tensed up. Both Draco and I tensed up, it hadn't occurred to me that the person opening a door couldn't possibly be Draco, but obviously it wasn't him. He was under me. 

The two of us broke apart and he started eating his popcorn as I rushed over to Ron's bed, laying in it and facing the opposite way from the door as if I were napping.

I turned with a hint of drowsiness, seeing Hermione in the doorway. 

Her eyes went from Draco and then to me, soon she sighed, "We just need to go get Ron. I feel like I'm gonna throw up every second I think about it. Screw Pansy becoming a death eater. We don't have time!"

Draco stopped munching on his popcorn and chuckled as I sat up, "Hermione it's dangerous. It's what he wants."

"There isn't another option that isn't time consuming." She grabbed the remote and switched the Telly off as Draco said 'hey, what's with you geeks turning my shit off'. 

When he reached for the remote one more time Hermione threw it across the room, "Ron is relying on us for Christ sake! Please!"

I glanced at Draco and he reached behind him for the cup of coffee he must've brought with him. He shrugged and I looked back to Hermione, "Though he'll die, we can I guess."

"But if I die, I want my coffee machine to go to Harry." 

"You won't die either." I sat up and turned to Hermione, "You make the plan. I'm only making an exception because I know Ron is relying on us. You pulled that card."

"It worked. And will do." She stayed in the middle of the room and awkwardly gestured her eyes towards Draco, like she was quietly asking some question. 

I just shrugged out of confusion.

Draco scoffed, "You look like two deaf people arguing."

Hermione and I tensed and I looked over to him with a blank expression and Hermione forced a smile, turning and walking away. 

"If you touch my pudding I will personally throw you into a pit of fire along with all the strawberry flavored pop-tarts." She pointed two fingers and Draco almost smirked, but he was too busy processing the word 'pudding'. 

"You have pudding?"

"I'll be back in like an hour with the plan." She didn't even answer his question while walking away. 

I stood up and casually sat back down in Draco's arms, "Take that threat seriously, she has burnt strawberry pop-tarts simply for existing. She was trying to send a message to the company, to stop making them. So when I say take her seriously, you really should."

"Pffft, she's a softie." He snickered but stopped when I looked up at him, "Softie? She'd take that as sexist."

"Everybody is sensitive these days." He answered while munching on more popcorn and finally looking away from what used to be on the tv and down to my eyes. 

"Not sensitive. Just..passionate.."

"Passionate about ridding the world of strawberry pop-tarts? You've got to be joking."

"Hey, passion is passion and dont you forget it. Because if she ever catches you eating one, she'll burn it in front of your eyes while holding eye contact. Don't underestimate her, that's what she wants."

He only snorted in response and let a silence grow. I found it comforting, but he ruined it seconds later. 

"So can you get the remote?"

-


	10. Chapter 10

Out of the kindness of my heart, I got him the remote. Not because I'm whipped. Because I'm nice. Ish. 

And as for Hermione, she came back and started explaining this whole big plan. Like she had all the details in an hour. I call that commitment. 

She started off with where him and his dumbass followers were hiding. It was some old abandoned house, and she said every inch was being guarded. It's likely where Ron is being held captive. 

She said one of us needs to quite literally get in contact with the queen, and let her know we aren't looking for a fight. 

Somehow, that statement felt very directed towards me. It totally wasn't because Hermione said it while staring me right in the eyes. No, 'course not. 

"So you want me to do it..?" I asked and she beamed, "Wow! Volunteering, thanks Harry!"

I pressed my lips into a tight line and just sighed, "You know what? I'm not gonna complain. How do you suggest I get in contact with the queen without getting murdered?"

"Figure it out yourself, I'm supposed to make the plan to get Ron, not prevent a war." 

Draco stepped in, "And how do we get into this building?"

Hermione grinned, "We need to get in without being seen. Do you have some death eater attire locked away somewhere, Malfoy?"

"My fathers, maybe." Draco crossed his arms slightly and glanced at this drawing Hermione made of the house. She said she used magic to figure it out, but there's more to it I think. 

"Okay, the front entrance is here, guarded by two guards, but on the inside there's five. They all take a lunch break every three hours-"

"How do you know that?" I asked but Hermione ignored me and continued pointing. 

"They switch shifts every seven hours. We need to get to the attic, it's where Ron is. I don't know where, but I know he's up there."

I didn't want to ask how she knew. I really didn't want to know. 

I glanced over to Draco and he smiled at me nervously, so I sighed, "The queen can be tomorrow. we'll be majorly outnumbered. You guys need all the help you can get."

When Hermione smiled at me and started to continue with the plan, I kind of zoned out and quickly reality faded from my vision. 

It was different. 

I was in a dark room, but it wasn't me. Everything was dusty, and it reeked of old creaky wood, and the air was extremely dry. 

There stood a man I couldn't quite recognize, he was dark, I couldn't see his face. To his right there was a costume, the one I saw that day with Draco at the stadium when we were in America. 

"We need to be cautious, my lord. What if they don't come? We can't go to Hogwarts. You're outnumbered. You've been given a second chance, don't screw it u-"

I slammed my fist down, but it wasn't me. Like I said. I was whoever this was, but it wasn't Harry Potter. 

"You've been given a second chance, not me. They will come for the boy. Oh, I count on it. I-"

The man in front of me interrupted, "Why don't you kill the boy, send a message. They'll fight with their anger, not their wands. It gives you an advantage."

"Unless it doesn't. And it gives them even more motivation to end this war. The quicker this ends the less casualties."

Then I realized I was Voldemort. I didn't know how or why, but I was. 

Truly, I was panicking, but it felt mental, I couldn't feel my body reacting. 

"I know him. He's f-"

"Stop." I demanded as I sat forward cautiously, "They're listening."

"What? Ho-"

The memory like flash type thing faded and I was back, a fist hauling at my face. I quickly dodged it and fell to the ground, "Christ! Do you ever solve anything without your fists?!"

"Well my fist sure as hell solved your hard-on last night, Potter." Draco crossed his arms and I glared at him as Hermione giggled at his comeback. Though that was true, she didn't realize he was serious. 

"What was that?" Draco asked as he pulled me to my feet. I hesitantly stood back and watched the two's concerned and curious eyes scan my every movement to see what was going on. 

"Voldemort..I like, saw him. But through his eyes. He was talking with this..guy. I don't know who it is, but it was about us. I'm sure. He's counting on us showing up for Ron. It's to draw us out. But good news is he isn't dead."

I heard Hermione sigh an excessive amount of relief meanwhile Draco groaned, "So he's expecting us."

"Well of course he's expecting us, taking Ron would result in us showing up." I was still holding Draco's hand from when he helped me off the ground and before either of us could notice Hermione's eyes found ours and she smirked, nodding to herself. 

I was the only one who caught her smug expression, Draco finally let go as he started to pace, "This is why love is a disadvantage. Shit."

"Oh would you loners quit it with that saying? Love gives us a reason to fight and live for. Ron motivates me to get out of bed in the morning. Harry motivates me to push myself past my limits. Love..is the reason we're here-" Hermione got so caught up in her thoughts she hardly noticed Draco interrupting. 

"No, we're here either because somebody didn't pull out or they bought a condom from a dollar store." 

I snorted slightly and stopped when Hermione tilted her head in my direction, "We wouldn't be in this room, together, alive, if it weren't for love. We have each other. That's not a disadvantage."

Draco turned his head towards me and we held eye contact for a second. She had a point. And worded it exactly as it should've been to be convincing. We both knew she was right, though it felt like a personal attack because neither of us admit such a thing, or even categorized our..not-so-alliance-anymore. 

"So quit being a bloody pussy and swear to me we're gonna go through with this plan for Ron. He needs us." 

Draco crossed his arms and waited for me to agree before he said a word. I smiled weakly at Hermione and put a hand over hers, "Of course we'll go through with it. The plan needs..more, though." 

"More? I can do more." She went to grab her drawing but someone grabbed her hand. 

It was all too quick for me even to realize who it was, but once it calmed down and I processed it, I realized it was Pansy. 

"I'm more." She nodded with confidence and put her hair in a bun quickly, straightening her casual attire–which was leggings and a professional looking flannel–(because nobody was wearing anything required, school was hardly continuing right now) and taking my glasses, putting them on herself. 

I couldn't see much, but she was close enough for me to make out everything. She looked..good. What was the point?

"My name is Elena Canton, I work with Channel 4 News, can you spare a few minutes as I ask some questions?" She hopped to the side as if she were playing two characters, "Why yes, this is perfect. Please, come in." 

We stared dumbfounded while Draco just laughed with sarcasm. 

Pansy handed my glasses back and fixed her messy bun, "He'll want the media on his side, I'll guarantee we work an angle that supports him, not Harry Potter. He wants to get a message out to the queen, likely without violence until we make a message. A reporter showing up at his doorstep is like Christmas in February."

I nodded, "Thats actually not a bad idea. He won't expect it. And it'll distract him long enough to get Ron out."

Draco slid a hand down on my lower back and stood beside me, facing the two girls, "Let's sneak down the chimney, really make it feel like Christmas."

His hand went further and further until he reached my ass, and I just jumped slightly but kept a blank expression. 

"Okay but what's to guarantee the chimney is big enough? Or-" Hermione tried but he smirked. 

"Abandoned house? Nobody would abandon a perfectly good house in London. One preferably away from everybody. Which means it must've been built a long time ago, before the smaller ones were invented. Everybody wants to live in London, why not buy the property? Because it'd cost more to fix it than to buy it. Simply making it easy for Voldemort, and easy for us. Bless." 

I looked at him, like a warning stare, but he didn't budge and continued messing with my bum. 

"My mind is connected with Voldemort's, still I guess, since he came back." I added quietly, and Draco smiled at me, "You should put gay porn in his mind. Just to fuck with him."

Pansy laughed with Hermione as I just got all smug when he looked at me. 

Finally he removed his hand and walked forward to the drawing, "Though the chimney would go through the attic. It'd be a win for us. Just to distract them long enough while we take out the guards upstairs and get Red."

"Red?" Hermione asked. 

"Weasley." Draco murmured, eyeing every room. 

"Okay, so then let's get ready. Anybody have a camera I can use?" Pansy asked as she readjusted her boobs and unbuttoned the first two buttons and tucked the bottom of the shirt in her pants so she looked classier, hotter. 

"Neville has one, in his bottom drawer. Photography turned out to be harder than he expected, that and there cannot be any photo evidence of Hogwarts otherwise muggles will see it." 

Pansy looked for the messiest bed, and surprisingly found the right one and went through his drawers, pulling a camera out seconds later. She grabbed his glasses as well, because Neville wears contacts. 

"Hey, you break those you buy him new ones. I don't want to hear him cry about how he can't see anything when he runs out of contacts." I pointed to her and she held her hands up once she put them on. 

"Please, this is hardly a strong prescription, he can handle being 'blind' for a day."

Pansy waltzed out as she wrapped an arm around Hermione. I think Hermione only allows this because they're more buddy-buddy than flirty. Or at least she's more buddy than flirty, so it works for her. 

She knows Pansy is interested but I admire her commitment to Ron. 

Draco turned my way and eyed me, "You're unusually quiet for me completely and totally touching you in front of people you haven't come out to."

"It was hot." I answered nonchalantly as I walked over to my closet and grabbed a new outfit for this rescue mission thing. 

He stared, cheekily, "When we fuck, can I take it as far as I want?"

"With how much I've been through, I doubt a hard fuck will even slightly scratch the surface." I grabbed two shirts and held them up to my chest, switching between the two for Draco. 

He pointed to the regular t-shirt over the striped one, "What does that mean?"

I scoffed, "It's means yes, you can fuck me however you want. Christ. Why is this a priority right now?"

"I'm horny, you yelling at me makes it worse."

I glared sarcastically as I scooted past him but he purposely rubbed our hips together, only I just sighed once I got through his sex trap. Not today bub, not today.

He did a fake and forced moan, "Look at me like that again, it was hot."

I sighed and continued changing, glancing at him and seeing if he was hard before I took my shirt off. He was being sarcastic, so I continued. 

Once I tugged my pants down I felt him pull my hips back and he bent me over the table, chuckling when I rolled my eyes. 

Instead of fighting him, I turned my head back, "Are you done being fake horny? Ron's waiting."

"I'm not faking-"

I kicked his shin and grabbed my clean pants, tugging them on. 

Draco bit his lip anxiously and stared at me, blankly. He was kind of zoning out, the look was all too familiar. I always zoned out when I was deep in my thoughts, anxious even. 

"You're trying to stall? What's wrong?" I looked for his eyes but they were somewhere else. 

He just brushed me off, "Nothings wrong. You're just paranoid."

I zipped my pants and walked over to him, "Fine, if you aren't going to tell me what's wrong, then just know I'll be with you the entire time this goes down. Totally not because I can't guess you're afraid to walk into Voldemort's trap and you're tired of admitting your fear of him.." 

Slowly, I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him softly, "You know, you don't have to help. This is mine and Hermione's problem, not yours."

He didn't deny it and barely hugged me back before I pulled away, "If it's your problem, it's mine. I'll be with you the entire time this goes down." 

I hated that he used my words against me. I pouted, "You can't just do that! How long do you think you can keep this up with me? You're afraid you'll die-"

"And the fact that you're asking me that means you're afraid I'll die too. Which implies you care." Draco walked closer, "Do you care, Potter?"

My expression softened as I sat down to stare up at him, "Of course I do, Malfoy. This whole hooking up thing would be insanely weird if I didn't."

He raised an eyebrow, as if he didn't expect me to be direct with him. He probably didn't, we never really have been direct when it came to these topics. I think he just expected to create some sexual tension, but it wasn't a priority, sex, that is. Ron's my priority. 

Finally, Draco awkwardly sat down next to me. I know he isn't one to admit such..honest things like I just did. He expresses it through subtle hints and some flirting, or just bickering, Ive learned the difference between his subtle confessions. Over time you learn. 

"I...know I don't express my feelings often, but if I had to pick someone to do it with, it'd be you. Potter You're kind of a dick, and nothing would make me happier than to punch you in the jaw, but I've also never felt so connected with someone before. I never have been able to rely on someone and yet somehow, I feel like I can rely on you no matter what." 

I smiled softly and placed my hand on his knee, "Kind of an insult but also I'm a little flattered. I'm glad you can rely on me."

He took a deep, uncomfortable breath, and forced a smile when our eyes met. I think that was his first time admitting something so serious in his book. He looked extremely reluctant. "Also, I think we need to talk later tonight."

"Wow," I chuckled, "we didn't last very long, huh?"

"Pfft, If you think I'd pass up the opportunity to bang Harry fucking Potter? I'll tell you-" 

I snorted and stood, "As much as I enjoyed this little moment. I need to check on Hermione. Find Pansy and meet us at Hagrid's."

Draco nodded, "See you in a bit."

Without turning back, I started heading towards Hermione's room, it's likely where she'd be. 

I received a few stares from my peers that were brave enough to stay during the evacuation, that wasn't really directed, and more of a choice. 

They'd whisper to each other, wondering if I was the Harry Potter. Because last everyone knew I was missing, on the run, as Draco Malfoy was missing too. Two plus two, right? 

Everyone thought death eaters got me, because Draco. I hated that that's where everyone's minds went. But what can I do, honestly?

Once I reached Hermione's room, she was tugging on her shoes and jacket, looking up when she noticed me. 

When she saw me, she stared for a second, and then went back to tying her shoes. 

"You know, throughout everything Voldemort puts us through, you're always the one to save the day, to make a great plan. Nobody ever wonders what kind of pressure someone like you must be under. I'm here for you, ya know. I'm proud of who you've always been, Hermione. You're strong. Stronger than anyone I have ever met."

Her eyes shined brightly as she listened to my words, my well thought out words. I spoke from my heart, and she felt that. 

Hermione looked up and smiled weakly, "You're the strong one, Harry. The one who saves the day."

"It seems that way, huh?" I sat beside her and her eyes followed me until I did, "But when you look at it, you make these plans, you're the brave one, you are the one with the beautiful heart. You're the real hero of our story, nobody gives you enough credit."

She didn't say anything and barely even gave a smile. She felt too weak to smile at me. 

I continued, "You, Hermione, are the best person I've ever met. Someone who's so pure, and kind, brave. Ron doesn't say it often, but he admires you for you being you. He's fond of you, because you're you. He'd admire you even more if he was here to see your determination, it's heartwarming."

Hermione looked at her feet and frowned, "It doesn't feel like he appreciates me all that much."

"He's a boy, men are stupid." Pansy jumped in. She stood in the doorframe, watching us. 

Her hair was shorter now, at her jaw. She had a blue streak that curled with the rest of her hair, and had these black glasses that suited her well. She wore a tight button-up shirt with a green tie. It almost looked like a school girl outfit, but her skirt and socks made it look more like a sexy librarian, and I think she was going for that, to kind of seduce the death eaters. It'd honestly probably work. 

The two of us stared at her, with all this curiosity. 

"Tell me, do you think it was worth chasing after the same boy all these years just for you to not feel appreciated? Is all this trouble worth it? You decide." She waltzed over to the dresser and leaned close to the mirror, as she applied a nude burgundy lipstick. 

She looked at Hermione through the mirror, "I'm helping because you need it, and Draco seems to be fond of Potter. And Draco's my best friend. So before you ask, this is for Draco."

"Well thank you, Pansy. I appreciate it." Hermione stood and distantly gathered anything she'd need. 

She was distant, that was very accurate. It's like she was worrying, debating everything she was doing. It almost looked as if she was unsure this was worth it. Of course she loves Ron, but even I've noticed he hasn't always seen her the way she sees him. Sometimes even I think he doesn't appreciate her as much as I do, and everything I've felt towards Hermione has always been fondness and platonic. His should be romantic, meaning his should be stronger. But they hardly look stronger. 

I turned to Pansy, "Draco, where is he? He's supposed to be finding you."

She just shrugged and I turned to the doorway, seeing him appear. 

"Can we get this over with? There's this feeling in my gut making me want to vomit despite the fact that I won't, and it's seriously sickening. Let's get this o-"

"That's called anxiety, Draco. Anxiety."

He took a few deep breathes and nodded furiously, "Anxiety. Right. Go figure."

I smiled slightly and rubbed his shoulder, "I'll be with you the entire time this goes down."

Draco sneered at my cheekiness, and nodded at me as if my reassurance and inside joke helped put him at ease, just a little bit.

Pansy pulled Hermione to the side for something real, and honest. I could tell by how her attitude softened and she touched Hermione only slightly. It was out of her comfort zone, but I could tell she was willing to reach out for Hermione. 

Draco tugged my arm to get my attention so I'd look away from the two, and to him. 

"Aren't you worried Voldemort is gonna realize your minds are connected again?" 

My head snapped his way, "I'd feel something if he knew by now."

"What if you won't feel anything? And he knows about our plan?"

"Then..I don't know. We're screwed?"

"Reassuring, Potter, real reassuring." Draco rolled his eyes and walked off like he was dozing off. 

My head turned back to Hermione and Pansy. I felt like I was watching some friendship bloom. It was heartwarming. Hermione doesn't have any friends that get honest and soft with her. 

I know she wants someone who isn't worried about masculinity, or anything really. That's why I try to be..good enough for her. 

With Ron, I don't get all soft with. It's like this 'bro' thing, though I don't have toxic masculinity, I don't call a guy bro because it expresses the platonic admiration in a compliment or something, I never call someone bro. Honestly. 

It's like an unspoken rule, with guys and their 'bro' labels. It's like saying no homo but without having to make it awkward because you think a compliment means you're gay. 

Parents compliment their kids, but they aren't child predators. Hopefully. That's uh, awkward, if they are. And gross. 

I've always been soft with Hermione, she needs to know I'm comfortable with her. Our friendship is soft like that, and it means so much to me, and her. She understands men and their pathetic toxic masculinity, I know she appreciates me setting my masculinity aside, and never feeling insecure about it. 

If I were insecure about it, I would've never done anything with Draco. I trust him, but I'm not sure I'm quite there yet. 

Pansy said something sweet, and Hermione beamed as she pulled Pansy into such a tight hug. I've never seen her hug someone so passionately, gosh. 

I smiled at the sight of her. She was growing fond of Pansy, I could tell. 

When they pulled away, I turned my head and was about to walk towards the door, but I stopped dead in my tracks and gasped. 

Someone said 'Potter' as if they were trying to scare me. But they weren't. They were trying to connect with me, and I was fighting it. 

Since the first time Voldemort and I's minds were connected, I've learned brain exercises, to make it harder, and give Voldemort a delay. 

I knew this was him, because he had this distinct voice, so familiar and it always sent fear into everybody's hearts when spoken, all except mine and Hermione's. 

She's always been the bravest, never afraid. I admire that. 

"Draco-" I called out as I fell to the ground. I've never experienced how hard it was to fight his power. If he got through, he'd know our entire plan. There isn't much he can do to prevent what we're about to do except give us his best fight, but that's a sacrificial play, he'd have less death eaters, not that he has a lot to begin with. Draco and I ensured we took out half of his, in return since he took ours. 

Hermione and Pansy came running my way, holding me up. 

"What is it?!" Pansy asked in a panic. She must've thought I was having a minor heart attack or summat, because it felt like that. 

My stress level increased the longer I felt him barging through. It was crazy, because it felt like he was physically beating me, like staring into my eyes and manipulating me without even blinking. But he wasn't, it was all in my head but it was very real. 

I took deep breaths and started to hyperventilate. Hermione squeezed my hand, "Harry! What is it?!"

"Draco-" I wheezed, "get him-"

Pansy let go of my arm and scurried to her feet as she ran down the hall screaming his name. 

I felt Hermione squeeze tighter, she was more worried than I was. 

Everything was spinning and I felt like I was about to pass out, but in reality Voldemort was trying to get in my head, practically take over my body temporarily. 

The room was getting fuzzy, I felt like it had this checkered pattern from a different dimension or something, and I could barely make anything out except Hermione, because she was close. 

She had me leaning on her lap and held my head, saying things. I saw her mouth moving, but I could only hear ringing. Her voice was muffled, I heard my name a few times, it was in and out. 

Two people came running back and I had realized it was Pansy and Draco. Although I showed no signs of relief, I was. 

Draco immediately fell to his knee's in front of me and pulled me off Hermione, making me lean against the wall. 

"Is it Voldemort?" He asked, with the same panicked voice as Pansy and Hermione had. 

I nodded as my eyes dozed off to the hallway, staring at the wall. I stopped hyperventilating when I saw Draco, because I felt like I was lost of breath, and it reminded me that there were air in my lungs, that I could breath. 

He grabbed my cheeks and forced me to look at him, "Listen—" he kept going out, his sentence only processing in 20% of my brain. "Look at—hand"

I watched his eyes as I used the wall as support for my head, and when he realized I was listening, he grabbed my hand and brought it to his face and made me hold him, "You're here—stronger than him—fight him, Harry!"

Draco has never looked so scared in his entire life, it almost worried me but I could hardly focus in the moment. 

Suddenly I wasn't there, with Draco. I could still feel him, but it felt like I had just woke from a dream, and the mental picture of it is hardly there. I couldn't picture what color he was wearing, or the fact that Pansy was there behind him. It was vague. 

I was in a different room. I looked around, seeing Voldemort in front of the fireplace. 

The man from last time stood beside him. 

"Why isn't it working?!!" The man yelled, but Voldemort stomped on his foot, "You fool, the boy is stronger than before. If it were easy he'd be dead already!"

"Or you're just..you know, bad at murdering children? Have you considered different hobbies? Like, knitting?" I asked, crossing my arms. 

Voldemort turned to me in shock, but the other man didn't react. He still had a hood over his head, so I couldn't see him. He was more cautious than me. 

"What is it?" The man asked as he looked in my direction, but he didn't see me. 

"Potter, he's here." Voldemort eyed me, cautiously as well. 

"That's impossible, he's weak, and pathetic, he wouldn't possibly know how to get in your head, let alone his body, rather than yours." The man said harshly, but I snorted, "Right."

"This war cannot be fought without you in the flesh.." Voldemort walked closer, eyeing me like a drunk deadbeat father would, ready to neglect you any chance he gets. 

"Stay out of my head," I said as my eyes followed him while he circled me, "You never give up and it's so bloody annoying. The villains are always pathetically determined."

"Let's see how far my determination can take me..tick tock, Potter." 

All too quickly, I wake up to reality, where Draco was holding my hands as his eyes expressed the amount of stress my reaction put him under. 

I focused on his sigh of extreme relief as he pulled me into a hug. 

Hermione joined in and I started to catch my breath, because I wasn't feeling that panic in my body reacting to him. 

"Voldemort is threatening to do something, we need to go." I pushed Draco back, and Hermione pulled back with him. The two helped me to my feet once they were on theirs and Draco snorted, "You just had some stroke or summat and act like it didn't happen. We were worried!"

"That's the first." Hermione said as she eyed Draco suspiciously. 

He ignored her and pulled me into another hug, "Are you okay?"

"Yes," I hugged him back, tightly, "it was him. Voldemort. He was trying to get in my head, but I got in his instead, he knows I'm stronger. Which means he's gonna fight harder. We need to prepare, after we save Ron."

"It's not worth saving him." Pansy said from the hall. We all looked to her, except Draco, who just seemed annoyed, but looked like he agreed. 

Of course he'd agree, he doesn't like Ron, but he's doing this for me. Pansy is doing it for him. That's how this all works, because we have someone we don't want to disappoint. 

"Ron doesn't appreciate you guys. He relies on you, and yet, none of you can rely on hi-"

"I can rely on him. You don't know what you're talking about, Pansy." I knew I could rely on Ron, he might be a little all over the place but nonetheless, I could rely on him and trust him. 

She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow, "Rely on him to what? Save your life? Satisfy you in bed? Or be a complete and total useless twat."

"Hey-" Hermione tried but when Pansy looked at her smugly she stopped, like Pansy had some control over her. 

"If all you could do is rely on the people you love, you'd be damn hopeful they don't give up on you." I walked closer, and she remained smug. I continued, "You'd hope that someone comes to your rescue, someone you love, or hope loves you. You too, would be anxious, wondering if they'd ever show up for you, when it's been over twenty-four hours. You would rely on your friends, just as they'd rely on you in the same situation. You'd hope someone like yourself wouldn't insist on leaving you to rot." 

With every word, her smugness faded and she gulped when I eye her with disgust, and turn away to Draco, him watching me with a smirk. 

I ignored him, "Let's go. Ron is relying on us." With one last look at Pansy, I grabbed Draco's hand and held mine out for Hermione, who took it seconds later, and the three of us stared at Pansy, awaiting her to join. I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't. 

Her eyes flickered between Hermione and Draco, and then me, trying to decide whether this was worth her time or not. 

She saw the hopeful look Hermione had. The hope that Pansy would join, and be better than who she's trying to be. Hermione knew she wasn't really like that. She wouldn't leave someone to die because they don't appreciate someone enough. 

Moments like this–Ron's moment–is what makes you appreciate your friends. That hope that your close ones will come to your savior is what keeps you going, and when they finally save you, you appreciate it more than before. 

Pansy forced a short smile and grabbed Draco's hand as we all went to Voldemort's 'lair'. Obviously, we didn't show up right in front of it. We were at least twenty feet away. 

Draco, Hermione, and I needed to get onto the roof, while Pansy distracted them. 

"Okay, so Potter and I will get Ron from the roof, and Hermione needs to stand guard, seeing if anyone shows, or calls backup. If someone does, alert Pansy through the earpiece and Pansy will alert me in this earpiece, okay?"

Draco handed the two of them one, and I pouted, "Do I not get one?"

"No," Draco smiled and swung his head slowly my way and eyed my lips, "you don't get one. You'll need to rely on me, love. Can you do that?"

I rolled my eyes and walked forward, purposely shoving his shoulder, "I promise this is going to work, Hermione. Ron's important to me too. I won't let him get hurt, I can't live with myself if I do." 

She smiled slightly and nodded, hugging me softly, "He'll be fine."

Pansy put a hand on her shoulder to comfort her and the four of us stared at each other, only nodding as we parted ways, in groups. 

Draco and I waited for them to start walking before making eye contact. 

"What if you use this mind thing to your advantage? Like, see if Voldemort is suspicious, or what his move is gonna be."

I furrowed my eyebrows at him, "That's dangerous. My mind would be vulnerable if I did that, and soon he'll realize that. I-"

"Not today, but just..consider it. This would make it easier." 

I gave a side frown and grabbed his hand, going to the roof immediately. 

When our feet touched the tiles, Draco almost slipped but my hand caught him. He made soft eye contact as a way of thanking me, and I just smiled in return and started towards the chimney. 

He pulled his wand out, it sparking and creating a fire-like laser that easily broke through the brick, perfectly I might add. 

Draco handed me the rope and started descending downward to the attic level. 

"I'm refraining from making Christmas jokes right now." I shout/whisper at his...Santa imitating self. Heh.

"Deeply appreciated." He grins. 

I watched him carve another hole and waited for him to go through and give me the signal. 

When he gave a thumbs up–meaning it was clear–I took a deep breath and jumped, feeling his hands wrap around me and pull me on the level. 

It's like trust falling, but you're actually falling and relying on your enemy to not let you break a few bones just for his own amusement. If that doesn't say how much I trust him I don't know what does. 

The room looked untouched, like nobody has dared walking up the ladder and going through anything. I knew that wasn't the case. 

My eyes roamed until I found the wall Hermione described, "Look, there."

Draco's eyes followed my finger towards the wall and he nodded, pressing down on the earpiece, "Distracted? Pansy?"

"Pansy?" Draco repeated, and a look of panic washed over. He sighed relief when she started talking but I couldn't hear. He gestured so I wouldn't worry and go find Ron, but when I obeyed and checked inside the wall, it was empty. But there were foot prints in the dust on the wooden floor, meaning somebody was here. 

I shook my head at Draco, who scoffed, "He isn't here! And nobody is answering the door. Sounds suspicious-"

"Well of course it's suspicious," a voice said suddenly. 

I gasped and backed away from where it came from, but I couldn't see anyone. Draco hardly reacted to anything but my gasp, glancing at me but not commenting, as if it were normal. 

"It's almost as if you were meant to come to this place, that Ron was supposed to draw you out." 

This wasn't Voldemort's voice, I know this. It's someone else. 

The voice appeared behind me and I jumped back in the other direction. 

"You're lacking common sense, Harry Potter. If you were Voldemort, how would you draw out your biggest threats..?"

"With false threats." I responded, cautiously spinning in case the voice showed. It was on the tip of my tongue, I recognized it, but I had no idea who it was. It wasn't Bellatrix, who is the only other person I could think of capable of this. 

"Who said they were false?" 

My eyes stopped on Draco who wasn't even reacting to any of this. 

I furrowed my eyebrows, "Draco, are you seeing this?"

"He can't hear you." The voice said, and when I turned, I saw a shadow. It was the man, that I've come to know as a creepy fuck. 

He stepped where the light would hit and walked forward to me, "As long as your mind is connected to Voldemort's, it's connected to mine. Weasley is pathetic, and stubborn, he reminds me of you, but he lacks the bravery you carry. And that bravery will cost you millions, possibly even your life."

"Gosh, get to the point." I crossed my arms and looked for his eyes, but it was almost as if he had none. It was hard to explain. It's like he's manipulating my mind into thinking he's faceless. 

The man chuckled, "Impatient, you're very much like your father. Your father..too, was brave. Look what happened. Consider this your warning, Harry. This will turn into something more than you could possibly ever be prepared for. Take this as you will, make the right choice."

"Wait wha-"

He was gone moments later, and I was in the same exact spot from before I dozed off into that odd day dream. I know it was real, but it didn't feel real. 

The..villain, just warned me? As if he were concerned, or on my side? What the-

Draco nodded and sighed, "It's empty. This is a trap we got to go, Potter."

"Remember that odd figure-man guy in America? He knew my dad, and he just warned me. Draco I don't know what the hell is going on but I really think we need to get out of here-"

There was a loud crash from downstairs and I widened my eyes. 

I would never back down from a fight, but I was so terrified. For the first time in my life, I was afraid to risk someone I cared for. 

All I wanted was to grab Draco and get out of here, but not without Pansy or Hermione. I knew I couldn't. 

But I was terrified, and it worried me. 

Draco started towards the exit and I grabbed his wrist, "Wait-"

"Stop being a pussy, Potter. Something is happening, we need-"

"I can't let you die-" I tried but he pushed my hand away, "I won't, alright?"

He reacted to my desperate tone with a subtle stare that was my reassurance. 

"You're right," I swallow hard and grab his wand from his hand, pointing it at him, "I'll ensure you're safe."

With a simple mind spell I learned from..a certain period of my life where I got into darkness, I sent Draco back to Hogwarts. Under no circumstances will I let him walk into this trap. 

I jumped down from the attic and rushed down the hall, to see a dark misty figure reaching out and holding Pansy against the wall, choking her. 

There was broken glass all around her, and Hermione sat in the corner bloody traumatized. 

It looked as if it were sucking the life out of Pansy. I panicked and pointed the wand at it, gulping. 

When I cleared my throat, I caught it's attention and it dropped Pansy after taking me in. I stared at it hard and cold, walking closer and closer with the wand confidently pointed at it. 

"I've had enough of these pathetic bloody games! Bring me Voldemort!" I yelled out of anger, and without even thinking some light rushed out of the wand and hit the figure, causing it to disperse and dust away. 

The wand fell from my hand as I gasped and fell backwards, "Holy shit.."

Hermione snapped out of it, and looked up at me. She was at my feet, and jumped up to hug me, "How did you-"

"I don't know." I hugged her back and Pansy was still catching her breath when she stood and looked at me, "Not bad, Potter."

I gave her a short smile and wrapped both my hands around her. "Where's Malfoy?!" Hermione asked, as if she cared. She only cared because I did. 

"Er..Hogwarts." 

Pansy laughed with a big hint of sarcasm, "Hogwarts? You're telling me Draco decided to split and leave you to do the fighting?!"

"I didn't say he voluntarily went to Hogwarts.." 

She laughed even more, "Oh, he's so gonna kill you."

I knew he would, so I stayed quiet and let go of Hermione, who sat on a pile of dusty stacked up books. "What do we do now?"

"We give our all, and I've got a lot to fucking give." I stared at Pansy as she lit up with confidence. 

"The game is on." Her grin grew wider.

"No, even better, the war is on."

~


	11. Chapter 11

We all went back to Hogwarts after taking a snack break. I was afraid to face Draco, I don't know how he'd react to such a thing, I've never done that to him before, and I'm sure nobody else has tried it to him either. 

I know he'll be pissed. 

I was walking down the empty lonesome halls, towards Snape's office. He'd be there, I'm sure. 

It wasn't long until I stood face to face with the door. On the inside, Draco would be there, waiting. I honestly can't predict any possible way he'll react because it's so hard to say. There's different ways I imagine him to react, none of them being easy and simple. 

This is how you know I did something wrong for the right reason. I didn't want him getting hurt, and I knew that going there was a trap. I did what I had to to protect Draco. I feared it was a trap to hurt or kill him. You know, even the playing fields? Draco and I together are too strong for Voldemort's liking. That's why he's skeptical. 

However, it took me awhile to gather up the confidence just to turn the knob, and push the door open. 

When I did, I looked around the room and finally my eyes landed on Draco, who was standing with his arms crossed and one hand on his chin. He turned to see who it was and it looked as if the stress from seconds ago washed away and relief overpowered it. 

Draco sighed, "Oh god," he immediately walked forward with open arms and hugged me as tightly as he could, "I thought something had happened.."

Shocked from the affection, I slowly hugged him back in case this was a trap, but he tightened–if possible–his grip even more. 

When I finally hugged him back, he pulled away and looked me in the eyes, blankly. It was as if he were checking if I was alright, and then, he shoved me backwards, "The bloody hell were you thinking you dimwit?! I practice dark magic, and out of the three of us I was the strongest and you thought 'hey, Malfoy might fucking die or get hurt let's send him back to Hogwarts so he can't ensure Harry Potter stays safe?' What the hell, Potter?!"

I knew it was a trap.

All jokes aside he was more relieved to see I was okay than to lecture me. 

"Why must you be an idiot?!" He exclaimed when I didn't answer. 

He shoved me again, "Answer me!"

I shoved him back this time and kicked the door shut, "I am not sorry that I didn't want to see you hurt. I'm not sorry that I was more worried about your safety than my own. And I am especially not sorry that I care about you! That was a trap, the man said so! You and I together are stronger than separate which is exactly why Voldemort would be more likely to take one of us out!" 

"And that's exactly why you don't fucking separate us! What if you were to get hurt? Then what the hell would I do? Blame myself? Yes! Constantly think about how I somehow chose you over my father and you both ended up dead? Hm!?" Draco got all in my face and I stared. He had a point. I didn't want him blaming himself. 

I just frowned and lowered my voice, "I wasn't gonna die. And I wouldn't leave you alone during all this. I'm not sorry, Draco, I know who I am and I'm not one to let someone I care about walk into a trap that results in their funeral."

"You don't seem to question it when Hermione or Ron stand by your side." 

I pulled his wand out of the hem of my pants and handed it to him, "Ron and Hermione aren't sexually or possibly romantically involved with me."

"Why's it matter whether we're screwing or not!?? Harry! Oh my god," He laughed out of frustration, "you're so annoying-"

"I'm annoying for wanting to keep you safe!??!!" I laughed with him, but not because it was funny, I too was just as frustrated. 

Draco threw his hands up, "No! Because you think it's your job to keep me safe. Where were you when I was forced into being a death eater?! Or had to murder Dumbledore to live-"

I heaved, but didn't respond because he's never admit he was trying to kill Dumbledore. He realized his mistake as well. 

"You can't blame me for not being there when that went down."

He realized I didn't comment on Dumbledore, and turned his head to face me, "You knew?!!!"

"So what if I knew? What difference does it make?"

"You never said anything?! You knew it was my darkest moment and decided not to say s-"

"That's why I didn't say anything! I knew you were forced to, Malfoy! Why are you so upset?!"

"Because you're Harry fucking Potter, perfect, tragically perfect. You're the guy everybody aspires to be, the one people hear stories about how he saved the world while balancing intense situations. Nobody ever gets mad at you and you act like this whole self-sacrificing instinct is okay! Like you did nothing wrong!" Draco yelled, he backed up slightly, because I could see the pain in his eyes. "You can't just leave me like that, or risk it, and then act as if it's okay, Harry! I don't fucking admit it ever but I'm just hoping by now you realize I need you here, not out fighting Voldemort when I can't do shit to protect you!"

Draco sobbed when tears started to threaten to spill. I let my jaw hang slightly as I cautiously walked towards him–because I didn't know if he were still upset–and pulled him into a hug. 

He sobbed even harder, "Please don't leave-"

My eyes started to water from hearing how broken he was over this. I didn't realize he felt that way about it. 

I was mad I didn't figure this out before. It's somehow wrong of me. 

His words shocked me. Draco doesn't admit this sappy stuff, he thinks it, but he doesn't admit it. So the fact he's telling me not to leave him? It means more than it sounds. 

He cried into my shoulder and held on tightly. Without getting poetic, it were as if he was afraid if he let go, I'd leave him. 

"I'm sorry." I whispered when I pulled back to see his eyes, he wanted to say something, but didn't and instead pulled me back into a hug. 

Draco brought his hand up to my hair and fumbled with a few strands. 

"What if we don't make it out of this..?" He murmured.

I pulled back and gave a sympathetic frown, "We will-"

"What if we don't?!"

I grabbed his hand and pulled him over to the air mattress and sat down, waiting for him to sit down with me. 

When he did, he sprawled out on the mattress and laid his head on my lap, staring at the ceiling as he waited. 

"We always make it out, it's nothing new." I ran my fingers through his hair and watched his reaction carefully. He didn't question me so I continued. 

"I'm asking, what are we gonna do if we lose this?"

I thought for a moment, "If we lose..Hogwarts won't be an option. We'll take a break, but we'll be back. We always come back."

"We'll go to London-" Draco smiled softly and looked up at me because I interrupted, "No, America. London has bad weather. He chuckled, "America, get a house, a full time job with a steady pay. We can get a cat, but not a dog, because-"

"-because dogs require more time, time we may not have one day. I'll be a writer, I've always wanted to be one."

He smiled even more and nodded, "I'll coach soccer, since most kids probably have no idea there's a sport that involved flying brooms and a floating ball."

I smiled back and leaned down, "I like the sound of that."

Draco nodded, "Me too."

We pressed our lips together for a small kiss and I pulled away, staring at him for a second, "The house won't be too big. A two bedroom, at most. We'll have a guest bedroom because I have a feeling once in awhile Pansy will need to crash at our place."

Draco nodded, "Accurate. She's always getting in fights with her partners because they realize she doesn't really want a relationship and just wants sex."

I chuckled and he smiled slightly, "I know I'm just vulnerable right now and you feel like we're having a soft moment, but I'm serious. If we lose this, I'm not staying. I don't want either of us to die. The second we lose and we're alive, if, we go to London or America, change our names, and hide."

"So we run?" I straightened out his strands of hair as I watched his eyes meet with mine. 

"Under intense circumstances, yes."

I nodded, it didn't sound all that bad. 

Even though, if it truly came down to running or fighting, the two of us would fight. This is the what if game, Draco wants to hear it for reassurance. 

"You know that even though we'd be running, one day we'll have to come back and win, right?"

"Yes, 'course. At least we'd catch a break though."

I hummed in response. 

"Do you recall that day when we were sat on that train station bench? And you were going on and on about how friendship and love was going to get the three of us killed?" I asked quietly. 

Draco hums. 

"You still stand by that?"

"I..supposed, I still stand by that. But I'm willing to risk it given the opportunity." He gestured up at me and we both smile softly, nonchalantly even. Until, the moment just ended. 

After a few seconds, the door swung open and Draco quickly sat up and pulled his wand out at the sudden gesture, but a man walked in, that man being..

"Blaise?" Draco asked, putting his wand down. 

That man being Blaise. 

His friend nodded and they gave each other a fist bump. 

"Wherever you been, you arse?"

Blaise's eyes found mine and he furrowed his eyebrows, "I've been..around. You clearly have been too."

Draco followed his eyes and saw that they were on me and then he rolled his eyes, "Yeah, I have been. How'd you find me?"

"Pansy said you'd be here, with Potter."

Does everybody just refer to me as my last name?

Draco put a hand on his shoulder and gestured so he'd walk out of the room, "Yes, clearly I'm with Potter."

"And you're on edge." He said, which could be interpreted however you'd want. Because him and I were being affectionate, or because he's currently at war with the dark lord himself. You decide. 

"Death eater season has been quite stressful."

Blaise rolled his eyes, "Theres only one mattress,"–he gasped–"You're fucking Potter?! Dude I didn't know you were gay. You....Y- Are you-"

"Out!" He pointed to the door and shoved Blaise out as I giggled at his reaction. Nobody ever reacts that excited. Being gay at Hogwarts isn't..the best for one, you could say. Everybody is pretty homophobic, I think of it as a muggle and a wizard getting in a relationship, it's practically forbidden for most, just like being gay used to be forbidden. People suck. 

Sometimes it speaks as racism, pureblood's despising mudblood's, wizards forbidding any relations with muggles, racism, homophobia, it is what is it and we already have the muggle relationships forbidden law, we don't need to bring muggles society into the mix, right? 

Its not necessarily the worst homophobia, I've seen it worse, but it can get bad depending on how involved my peers are with the muggles society. 

On his way out, Draco mouthed 'sorry' as he shut the door and left to catch up with Blaise. 

I figured he wasn't gonna come back, so I started heading to check on Hermione. She must feel pretty upset it was a failed rescue attempt. 

All I can do is check on her and reassure her, but we both know she won't listen. If anything that's inside her head says there's no chance, no matter what you say or what proof you throw at her, she'll be in disbelief and refuse to listen. So all I can do is support her through this, and I'm okay with that. 

Soon I reached her room where she was curled up on her bed with Pansy who was holding a mirror up to Hermione's face to apply a lip gloss. 

Hermione saw me and closed the gloss, Pansy lowered the mirror and turned to see what she was looking at. 

Pansy sighed, "I'll be back in a bit."

She nodded as Pansy walked past me with cautious eyes, like she was warning me to be sensitive or summat. Trust me, I'll be sensitive. Last thing everyone needs is Hermione throwing a hissy fit because someone was insensitive. She's weird like that. 

If it's wrong she disapproves, and you really shouldn't be on her disapproving side. It's terrifying. I've seen Ron on it before. He was terrified. Always claiming it's because her period, which angered her even more because it never was. 

I sat in front of her and grabbed her hand, "He's gonna be fine, alright?"

"Not this again." She sighed and pulled her hand back, "He's not fine, Harry. He's scared, and lonely."

"Nothing I say is gonna reassure you, huh?" I pressed my lips into a stressed frown but Hermione giggled, and that was enough to make me smile, seeing her smile. 

"I'm stubborn, I know." She blinked for a moment, "But I can't help but genuinely worry. What's confusing is how it's more concerning to me than you."

"I'm not romantically involved with Ron. And I know how Voldemort is. He's using Ron as leverage."

She just gave a halfhearted smile, distantly watching my eyes. It's funny, she was here, but it's like she wasn't. She hasn't been the same since this stuff with Ron started. It's concerning, but I know she'll brush it off and deny it if I ask, so I don't. 

Hermione holds herself, "I don't know, Harry. Nothing is helping put me at ease. Can't you like, go through Voldemort's mind and see what he plans to do with Ron...?"

I shrug hesitantly, that doesn't sound very safe. What if Voldemort is strong, and he realizes I've been trying to get in his mind? He's gonna take extra precautions.

But I'm gonna be honest, seeing that glimmer of hope in Hermione's eyes was enough for me to decide I needed to risk it for her. She needed something to put her at ease, it was the least I could do.

I chuckled, "It doesn't quite work like that. I can't access memories or anything, but I can see what he's currently seeing, and the conversation might be about their next move. Yeah?"

"Anything, please." She grabbed my hand and squeezed it because she could tell I was nervous to take the risk. 

I nodded and inhaled deep, before finally closing my eyes to focus. If I didn't I'd pussy out. 

Suddenly, I was in a room that was only lit by candles. The windows were covered with newspaper, and the fireplace was lit. I'm sensing a pattern here. 

I looked around and saw the man that usually wore the hood, but he wasn't wearing one this time. He looked awfully familiar.

Voldemort stood there in front of him, the two lighting up from the fire.

"We can't just kill the boy, he's our only leverage." Voldemort spat at the man and walked over to where I stood. But for the first time, he didn't sense my presence. 

The man turned, and I saw his face. My face completely sunk and I gasped, scurrying backwards from shock. I mourned him, it's impossible. I watched him die.

It was Sirius Black. Oh my god..

I was seeing Sirius Black, rather than Voldemort. Which is proper insane!

"We torture him, claiming to want information, and let him go. He'll run to Hogwarts and tell them how much more intense it is now and they shouldn't underestimate us. He'll be furious they didn't come for him, it'll start a fight, separate them. It gives us an advantage." Sirius was insisting on ruining us. I almost couldn't believe it.

Instead of sticking around. I walked backwards until I was back in my own mind, in Hermione's room. I fell backwards off her bed and kept backing up until I hit the wall.

"Harry!" Hermione scurried off her bed and rushed to her knee's beside me. "Oh my god, is it Ron?!"

I shook my head after processing her words and then furrowed my eyebrows, "No, Ron's fine, he's alive. I'm sorry for the scare, I'm not used to it yet."

Hermione sighed relief and stood up, "Thank god."

I ignored her and stood up, "They want to release him, maybe. So he'll be vengeful, maybe Voldemort wants to turn him to his side? I don't know, but look I have to go, I just remembered I have to get a new phone with Draco today. I'll see you later."

She tried to squeeze in a long goodbye but I was already halfway out the door when she started to say it. 

Look, I'm just so..shocked. It's like all that mourning, and avenging I thought I did was a lie. It's like I thought I killed Voldemort, and then I find out he's back but get this, even stronger than before. It's hard, but harder when it's family coming back from the dead. Especially when they're on the enemies side. 

I knew Draco wouldn't be in Snape's old office, but I didn't know where else to go.

When I got in there I paced the entire time and nibbled on the tip of my thumb. I paced until I got so dizzy my thoughts started to make sense. I look over to the clock and it says its seven pm. I scoff and finally go to sit down, but just as I do the knob twists open and I jump up to my feet and let a cry out, "Draco! Oh my god-"

I stopped running towards him when I saw Blaise behind him. 

His eyes widened at my urging greeting, and he stepped aside "Blaise, Potter, you two have met? Eh?"

My eyes looked away from Blaise and I swallowed, "Draco I really need to talk to you it's important."

"I thought you'd be gone by now. Why're you still here?"

"I didn't know where else to go. I don't know who else I should talk to." I glanced at Blaise one more time and crossed my arms hesitantly.

Draco bit his lip for a moment and then gave in, "Can you come back tomorrow Blaise?"

Blaise scoffed, "Choosing Potter over me, I see how it is."

Draco chuckled and gave him a noogie, "You've known it's how it is."

"So all I gotta do to have your time is let you stick it in my ass?"

"Not yours, love, not yours," Draco shoved him out the door and grinned, "talk to you later, alright?"

I kind of smiled at their cute banter but then the smile washed off when Draco turned and shut the door, "Okay, what is it-"

"Sirius is alive." I blurted out without a second thought. God, it was so relieving to just say that. I had been going back and forward with it for hours, debating whether it was impossible or not. But I guess in this world, it's not. Logically, it is.

"Sirius Black?" Draco almost laughed, "Why does this matter?"

I stared, "He was my godfather- or I guess is. Present tense. He's bloody alive."

"Wait I thought he was trying to murder you that one year?" Draco set his jacket down and had a insensitive smile plastered on his face.

I whined, "Draco! He's my only family. And he's alive. He's who we refer to as 'the man' with Voldemort. Meaning, Voldemort has something on him. There's no way Sirius would do that to me. He taught me what family was, and for him to just side with Voldemort? Something isn't adding up."

Draco dropped his smile and realized this was serious for me and he nodded, "Okay, you said he's family, you trust him. Let's confront him. Tonight."

"We can't just-"

"What's stopping us?" He raised his eyebrows at me as he grabbed my coat and handed it to me while tugging on his own.

I stuttered, "He- I- Because! It's just-"

Draco grinned at my stuttering and got close, "You're worried he's turned on you. Like you said, there's more to the story. Let's confront him and figure it out."

My eyes flickered from his to his lips, and he didn't wipe the smug look off his face until I took my jacket and gave in.

"How do we even know how to find him?" I asked as I followed him out the door.

Draco shrugged, "You mentioned your mind is connected to Voldemort's, start there-"

"My mind is connected to Sirius' mind too." I said as we walked.

"That makes it easy. There ya go."

I frowned, "I can't just do it face to face! What if something is wrong, and he's changed?! Can't I just do it in our heads?"

"If it's in your head it isn't real." He insisted, but that wasn't quite true. I don't have to be in front of him to have a conversation, just like you can phone somebody on your mobile, you don't have to be there to talk. 

"Draco! It's stupid. Think this through-" he finally stopped and turned to me which is what caused me to stop. 

He sighed, "Fine."

I nodded and anxiously walked back to Snape's office. I was fumbling with my fingertips, debating what my first word should be. 

'Hey, Sirius, should we throw you a back from the dead party?'

'Day of the dead is right around the corner! Literally, in your case.'

No, too petty. 

'Sirius, welcome back! How did death treat ya?'

Still petty. 

'Wow, Sirius, come to attend Remus's funeral since your buddy Voldemort killed him? Like you owe it to him?'

If I've learned anything from my anxious thoughts, it's that I'm upset. Yeah, definitely upset. 

"How about a simple 'hey'? Hm? Let Sirius do the conversation starters." Draco said, all so suddenly. I immediately looked at him as if he were reading my thoughts and he was confused at first, but then chuckled, "You're talking out loud."

"I am?!" I covered my mouth, "Shit. Pretend you heard none of that."

"Nah, I'm gonna keep that memory in the valuable files. It was cute how you thought out loud." 

I glanced at him to see if he was genuinely flirting, but his body language was so casual and relaxed, it's like complimenting me wasn't hinting at any love or affection towards me. 

Usually, I'd read into that type of compliment as romantic, but I'm genuinely not sure what Draco meant by it, so I looked away until we got back to Snape's office. 

I fell down to the mattress and hugged my knee's as Draco sat in front of me. 

He gestured and took a deep breath, so I'd mimic him. When I did, he grabbed a hold of my fingertips and nodded, "If you need out, I'll dump water on your head. Just squeeze."

I laughed, nervously, "I can get out myself. But I appreciate the offer."

"You don't know when to back down, precisely why I will be dumping water on your head if it gets too intense."

"Okay Malfoy." I brushed off his statement, although it did kind of stick with me. Do I really not know when to back down?

"I know what you're thinking. You're wondering whether you actually don't know when to stop. Take it from me, and Hermione if she were here, you're self-righteous side prevents you from backing down when necessary." He threw a blanket around him and laid down, waiting for his coffee machine to finish before setting a mug full of bitter black coffee next to him. He was staring up at the ceiling, admiring it, but he still held my hand. 

What bothers me is how comfortable he is with his sexuality. I can't help but feel..wrong. It leaves me with this gut feeling. 

Not that I'm homophobic- yeah sure. I'm not. 

It's just..I don't know, I'm terrified of someone judging me for it. Because I want to love someone of the same sex? How's that anyone else's business? Honestly? 

When I'm this so-called adored kid, nobody wants to judge me, just praise me. The only criticism I've received is from Draco, and look where we are now. Especially for a preference such as intimacy, affection, etc...

When I see Draco embracing who he is and not making a big deal about it, I feel at ease, like there's a future where I love myself. But the thought of being different–knowing society hates different–scares me to pieces. 

Look, I didn't grow up on social media, but I've heard enough stories. Hogwarts is full of homophobic assholes. 

But usually, the ones talking about homophobia are the ones against it. They hate being at Hogwarts just as much as I do when it comes to this. 

Don't get me wrong I love this place, it taught me love. It gave me a break from what felt like was my reality, but as it turns out, Hogwarts is my reality. And I love it. But I hate that everybody is so toxic. 

People associate darkness and mischievous with Slytherin, which is wrong. The only reason I did for awhile is because I had Draco as my example. He was trying his best to get me to hate him, for whatever reason. 

Even though he's explained why, I still don't understand, if I'm honest. 

Although I kind of suggested this idea, I was super hesitant. 

Draco was calm, giving me my time. It makes me wonder when and how we got here. 

My hand in his, him staring at the ceiling with a cup of coffee next to him. When did we become such a couple?

Stuff like this doesn't make me feel sick. When Draco and I are alone nothing can change the fact that I'm comfortable with him. But in public? It's different. I'm afraid. 

Carefully, I closed my eyes and tried to connect with Sirius's mind. I allowed that warmth and comforting feeling I got from Draco to consume me effortlessly, so I could go through with this. 

Once I was..there, with Sirius, I waited in the corner. He was in a different room. It wasn't the same dark room with a fireplace and candles lit, which were the only source of light. 

Now, the candles were the only source of light. Meaning wherever he was, must be abandoned, because otherwise the electricity would work. 

He sat on a bed, legs crossed, and the cloak covering every inch of his body. 

The more I looked at him, the more I almost backed out. So, I started, "Hey."

His eyes landed on me and he got out of his..meditating position, standing, "What're you doing here, boy? Come for Weasley?"

"It's over, Sirius. I've figured it out." 

I watched his expression–which wasn't really visible, more of me reading his body language–fade, and he slouched as he took his hood off. 

My eyes stayed firm, because I didn't want to show my betrayal. Not until I know what I'm dealing with. 

"A clever one you are, you're like your father." Sirius sat down on his bed and waited for me to come closer. But I didn't. Instead I pointed harshly, "You don't get to bring my father into this you scum. What the hell do you think you're doing with Voldemort? After everything that arse has done? You're just on his side?!"

"Who said anything about being on his side..?" Sirius grabbed my hands, and he brought them to his face. "I waited for the day you'd figure out who I was. I know you have so many questions that I can't exactly answer, Harry. I'm on your side, I promise you that. I made a promise to protect you, a promise to James. You have nothing to worry about, okay?"

I furrowed my eyebrows because I could feel his warmth, and his skin. He had a slight stubble, it was surprising. I didn't know I could feel him. 

"Wait- But what about me? You died! I mourned you! I avenged you! How-"

"Voldemort brought me back, with some spell. Though it had some casualties. Which he decided could be weaponized. Hence why I'm here, and not protecting you." Sirius grabbed my cheeks, "You need to leave, now. If Voldemort finds out you've been visiting me, he'll kill me. I need to make sure he doesn't succeed with his plan, and to do that, I need you and me alive. So go, I'll find you later."

"How do I know that's the truth?" I backed away as he walked over to his door and peeked to make sure nobody was listening and then he locked it, turning back around, "Take it from the only family you've got, I'm on your side."

"You aren't my only family," I said and eye him cautiously. I didn't know whether I trusted his word or not. The Sirius I knew, or so I thought I knew, he would've told me he was back, to relieve me. 

Sirius cocked an eyebrow, "Ah, yes, the Slytherin boy. What was it...? David..? Dra-Drake? Dra-"

"Draco." I crossed my arms. 

He smiled, "Your mother would be so happy. She was like an lgbt activist. She always wanted to write a book about her experience with talking at Hogwarts. She had her own speech, a new one prepared every year until she graduated. Dumbledore encouraged love, and acceptance. He changed the thought process of many students who were taught hate.. She never got the chance to write that book though." He walked closer and had the most casual and admiral expression I've ever seen, "She was so..so sweet, Harry. Both your parents would accept you, and support you so much. They'd want you to have at least one epic love..I think he's a great choice."

"It wasn't a choice, it just happened." I rubbed my arms nervously because I genuinely couldn't tell if he was taunting me or being serious. I was hoping he was serious. 

He smiled even more, "I love you, Harry. And I'm so proud of who you've become. Your parents would be so proud."

"How do I know if I can trust you, Sirius?" I ignored his words, although they meant a lot. 

"Give me time, I'll prove it to you soon."

I nodded and glanced around, preparing to go, "Please keep Ron safe? Whether you're on my side or not, the Sirius I know would do it for me either way. I don't want to have to remember you as someone you aren't."

"Of course, Harry."

Slowly, I closed my eyes and then opened them, seeing Draco laying his head on my lap with his hand still in mine. 

I guess maybe I took longer than I thought it would. It wasn't even that long..? How did he fall asleep?

I carefully moved his head to get up, noticing it was dark outside. How did I take that long?! But while trying to sit up, Draco slowly woke up and he tried his hardest to get wide awake. 

He drowsily mumbled, "How'd it go?"

"Fine. I'm glad water didn't get dumped on my head. Sirius claims he's on our side, I don't know if he's telling the truth. He didn't explain much."

Draco still had my hand in his and he squeezed it slightly, "So not like anxiety-attack worthy?"

"Err, I mean, that's a possibility. If I think about it too much." I tried to smile because he looked super concerned. 

He grinned slightly, "Last time you said something like that we hooked up."

I didn't say much, I didn't have anything to say really. I just slowly let go of his hand and curled up against the wall. 

"He's gonna be heartbroken when he finds out Remus died, Voldemort killed him." If Sirius is the man I know and love, the news about Remus will leave him unstable. Which is why I can't tell him until this is over. 

All I try to do is have a positive mindset, which usually gets my hopes up. I like to think the man I considered family isn't someone I can't recognize.

Draco realized what he said didn't really help my anxiety and paused for a moment to figure out what to say. 

"The obnoxious man known as Harry Potter, the man I know, he wouldn't let something considered a casualty in his life get to him. After everything do you really think coming back from the dead is absurd?"

Why did that actually help? I stared for a moment, because I didn't expect him to point out something so accurate. 

This was just a casualty. It's not like something like this hasn't happened before. 

"I..you're..right. Yeah, that's true."

"I don't try to comfort people, I don't really care."

I snorted and nodded, "Yeah, I couldn't tell." My sarcasm was very clear, and Draco got that. 

"But..." he sighed, "I'm willing to..change that. For you at least."

My head turned towards him and my eyes landed on him. Listen, Draco isn't the type to change for someone. If he's gonna get involved with someone, they're gonna have to like him how he comes. That's the only way I can imagine him in a relationship. So to my surprise he says he's willing to change being a self-centered cute asshole? Yeah. You get the idea. 

"You in love with me or something?" I chuckled, watching as he sat next to me and rested his head on my shoulder, "Hell no, Potter." 

Although it seems harsh, he said it pretty softly. He knew I was enjoying his warmth, and affection. It was in fact comforting. 

The two of us were sitting in silence, in Snape's office. Only one candle was lit, and we barely even needed it. I was only wishing it could always be this way. Draco and I, sitting in a–for the most part–dark room, comfortable silence, and affection. 

Obviously I know this is probably just a sexual relationship, and not romantic, but I couldn't help but try to imagine how this would end. And yeah, basically I pictured a small house or apartment in America, we have two (if he'll allow it) dogs, and maybe a bird that I had to beg Draco to let me get because he has a weird fear of birds, and then every morning while I do my work from home, he brings a coffee without me asking, it becomes a habit, and I frown every morning I realize he didn't bring me coffee because he was at work. That's a future I can get behind. 

It's not like we haven't talked about running away from all this. The second this shit is over I'm grabbing him and we're going to America. 

After an hour of dozing off and not saying a word, he finally lifted his head lazily and looked at me. I had my eyes on him as well, waiting for him to say something. But he didn't. He just stared. 

"We shouldn't get in a serious relationship, Harry." He said, because he knew I wanted to kiss him because he was staring intently. 

I frowned, "I know."

"Voldemort will use it against us."

"I know."

"Hooking up might be a bad idea too."

I gasped, "No! You're taking it a bit far aren't ya?!"

Draco just chuckled and then wrapped his arm around me, "Sex addict."

"Says the one who fucked his arch nemesis just because he wasn't getting any action."

"Because I was with you all those weeks!"

"If I spent a few months on the run with me I'd want to fuck me too." I mumbled with a cheeky grin and I leaned into him. 

Draco and I got silent, but then he pursed his lips, "That and..I don't want to see you end up dead because it'd make me weak.."

Though I should be flattered he said that, I agreed. Not- not selfishly, obviously, I mean vice-versa. 

"We're gonna make it through this." I tried to assure him, only because I too, was scared. I'm not a whole lot sure we're going to, but it's something he needed to hear. 

"Meanwhile, lets agree on sex buddies?"

"Friends with benefits?" I grinned. 

Draco laughed along with me, "Friends? That's pushing it. You'll just have to settle for a long-term booty call, alright?"

"Mm, I like the label sex buddies better.."

He shoved me as he rolled over to the air mattress, "They all have the same meaning."

I plopped down beside him and blew the candle out, "Same meaning, yet booty call feels more offensive than sex buddy does. Sex buddy is more friendly."

He rolled over on his other side, "Don't hog the blanket."

Honestly, the fact that he didn't turn towards me to spoon me didn't bother me, because I simply tugged the blanket over slightly and wrapped an arm around him. 

I could feel him smile slightly, but I was too tired to say anything. I fell asleep effortlessly, and I never fall asleep effortlessly. 

~


	12. Chapter 12

If I'm gonna be honest, I'm gonna say that whether I had a thing for Draco or not, I'd never give up the chance to sleep in the same bed with him. 

Something about him gives my body this peaceful good numb feeling that helps me sleep through the night. 

For awhile, I thought I had insomnia. Everything kept me up until the light would peek through the curtains and create a diamond shape. I used to be afraid to sleep, that I'd wake up to something terrible. 

I was afraid to sleep when I was on the run with him. That he'd do something to me in my sleep, or Voldemort and Bellatrix would find us. I haven't always trusted Draco, ya know. 

So when I woke up, I noticed I was holding Draco. And I took a moment to appreciate it, because I was afraid some day I won't see such a thing when I wake. I was always afraid of losing someone I care about. 

And I'll admit I care for him, but I know it's..a disadvantage. He's not wrong about that. Friendship is more powerful, romance is different. It's usually just the two of you, distancing yourselves from each other so neither gets hurt because both of you have a common enemy. 

Well, that isn't really how things are in your average relationship. We aren't exactly your average human being. 

Our lives are fucked. 

"The second you have to take in the moment is when you know it won't last. It's good you're appreciating him." 

My head glanced towards where the voice came from. It was Sirius. I wasn't that surprised, I was kind of hoping I'd wake up to him. He'd be eager to visit Hogwarts, even if it was just one room.

"It's not meant to last. I don't want it to. He'll end up dead." I rubbed my eyes as I slowly sat up and leaned over Draco to turn the coffee machine on. 

Sirius was leaning against Snape's desk and pointed to the crate, "Voldemort's gonna be looking for that."

"Why?"

"It's all he needs to be the most powerful wizard alive, not that he already isn't. But once he gets that, it's over. He's trying to find it." Sirius then turned back to me, "I told you, I'm on your side."

I poured the coffee into the only mug we had and curled up, "That doesn't prove anything. But I appreciate the input."

"You and Draco seem..like good friends."

"That's all we are, friends." I sipped my coffee and stared, because it was true. It's not like he was a boyfriend or anything. I still didn't know whether Sirius could be trusted. 

"Yeah, Harry, like I'm gonna be the one to out you to Voldemort. If anyone's at risk, it's the Weasley girl. Draco is already at risk, and it's not because you two. It's because his family has a target on their back by default."

I ignore him, "Yeah, well, we aren't together anymore. Decided the risk wasn't worth it."

Sirius gives a bold stare but backs off. 

And Voldemort knows I mean something to Draco, He'll try to use that against us. We have to prove we don't mean a thing to each other, being on the same side doesn't mean we're romantically involved. 

"How's Remus..?" Sirius awkwardly looked towards me and my eyebrows raised, "I..I-"

Draco shifted next to me and I quickly set the coffee down and started heading towards the bathrooms so I didn't wake him. I wasn't planning on updating him on things with Sirius. I'm afraid he'll have to comfort me, and we'll get closer. 

We can't get closer. 

Sirius was following me, but only because that's all he could do. 

"You're pathetic, Sirius. Voldemort? Seriously?" 

He scoffed, "Watch your tone-"

"No! I'm done trusting people. You either prove you're with me, or you're against me. And Sirius, as much as I dread losing family, I will kill you. I want this to be over, so I can finally have a life."

He paused and watched me through the mirror as I turned the sink on to put water on my face, to wake me up more. 

"He's gonna kill Ron, he wants to do it in front of you. He'll know your next attack, you need to send someone Voldemort wouldn't recognize. Someone quiet. Who can get by without being seen." Sirius watched as a guy passed me, with judging eyes. This kid hears me talking to myself and is thinking what the fuck, I knew that Potter kid was insane. Honestly, that's a guess but I bet I'm accurate. 

I looked up and immediately thought Pansy, but Draco can't know. I don't want to keep it from him, I'm afraid to, because I know it's wrong, but I have to. He wouldn't approve. 

"Why can't I go?"

"You'll die."

"Anyone else who attempts a rescue will too."

"No, I said someone quiet. You're loud. Harry Potter. Famous. Recognizable. The opposite of what I just said."

I inhaled sharply, "Hermione?"

"Better..but no."

I didn't want to suggest Pansy, I wanted that to be a last resort. If Sirius says no to me, it's a definite no to Draco. 

"Pansy..?"

"Who?"

Pansy it is. I frowned slightly and nodded, "Okay, Sirius, I'm going to trust you, once, can you get her in?"

He waited a moment or two before nodding, and waiting for me to continue, "Is Ron okay? Food? Water?"

"I've been taking care of him. I promised." 

I nodded and turned to face him as a small group of boys passed but I ignored them and gave Sirius my attention. "I'm trusting you."

"Always."

Suddenly, Sirius was just gone. I blinked a few times and shook my head as I started heading towards Hermione's room, I figured Pansy would be there. 

It probably wasn't that early, if people are in the showers. I hoped they were up, so I could propose the idea, and not give a lot of details on how it came to mind. I still haven't told either of them that Sirius is alive and connected to my mind. 

I entered the room with caution. Luna was sprawled out on a bed as well as Pansy, but then I noticed Hermione next to Pansy, with only a bra on, and Pansy only had a bra on as well. 

My eyes widened as I slowly pieces together what had happened and started to back up. Hermione wouldn't- she- 

Who am I kidding, Draco told me it'd happen. 

I backed into the dresser and knocked a stack of books on accident and desperately tried to get them, but I could hear shuffling behind me. Shit. 

When I turned, I saw Hermione sitting up. When she realized it was me she was quick to cover her cleavage. 

"Harry!?"

"Uh- Er-" my hand slipped off the edge and I twirled to catch myself, "Hey! Hermione.."

"What're you doing?"

"I wanted to talk to you..but uh," my eyes landed on Pansy and Hermione groaned and covered her face, "Shit.."

"I'm gonna take it I wasn't supposed to know this? And you wanted to tell me yourself?"

"Yeah.."

"Okay," I nodded and pointed at the door, "Find me at Snape's office, when uh, when you aren't busy. Bring Pansy. Please."

I didn't wait another second and left the room because I never thought Hermione would cheat on Ron. Actually..I'm not even sure it was cheating. I don't remember them making it official? I always thought it was casual..

Hermione wanted to question me but I was too quick to give her a chance. 

I walked past the great hall, where I saw everyone gathered. Everyone that stayed, that is. 

Hey, not everyone has a place to go home to. I don't. I get it. Or they're just stupid brave idiots like me. I get that too. 

There was a woman I didn't recognize, she seemed new, with her curly black luminous hair, and soft eyes. Young too. I slowly walked into the great hall and looked around for someone I knew to ask what was going on. 

"I'm Sidney McGonagall, daughter of Professor Minerva McGonagall." She seemed very shaken up, and even had someone by her side, who was trying to comfort her. I didn't recognize them either. 

I recognized nobody except Hagrid. 

"I want to announce I'm taking my mothers place. To honor her death, to make sure she didn't die in vain." Sidney waved off the man next to her and took a few steps forward, "I'm sure you all know, Voldemort is back. The majority evacuated this school. But the lot of you that stayed, I applaud your bravery. We can't just rely on a boy to save the day, don't you realize how selfish that is?"

As shocked as I was to hear a head professor say such a thing, I think my peers were more shocked to hear her say Voldemort's name instead of he-who-must-not-be-named. 

The man cleared his throat as a warning and Sidney nodded at him. 

"This is..war. One I refuse to lose."

Everybody started clapping. They applaud her bravery as well. I continued walking closer until Sidney noticed me, and I gave a faint smile. 

"Everyone, you're free to go." 

The crowd (not a big one, barely more than a hundred) of people scurried off back to their rooms, not that there were a lot, but they did. 

Sidney took her mother's hat off, and held it against her stomach. 

"Technically, you should be under suspension for leaving the school. But under the circumstances.." 

I pressed my lips into a tight line and crossed my arms, "Voldemort has Ronald Weasley. He's gonna kill him if I show up to save him, or if anyone does. He's waiting for me to show. What do you suggest I do?"

"I suggest..we end this war."

"I didn't know Professor McGonagall had a daughter."

"There's a lot this school doesn't know about my mother. Or me." She exhaled sharply and placed a hand on my shoulder, "My mother admired your bravery, but this war won't be following after you."

"If I had a choice, then I'd agree, but I don't. It's about Draco and I, anyone who stands with us is just a background character in Voldemort's book. He won't hesitate to kill any of you, but he will with Malfoy and I. I'm sorry, Professor. But I can't let the school be involved this time."

"That's not your call to make."

"It's not yours either. Endangering my peers? That's selfish. Relying on me isn't. I'm the only person who has a shot at saving us. You can't play a part in this war."

She chuckled, "My mother would want me to help the boy who she saw so much potential in. She told me about your stories nonstop, that's what inspired me to take her place when she passed. You're quite a dry conversationist, dare I say."

There's only room for one sacrificial dumbass, and frankly with how many adults died in the war, this school could use her. She can't sacrifice herself in her mothers name. 

"It's entirely up to choice, Potter." She turned to the very few professors still left and she pursed her lips, "I will do right by my mother. I'm making sure nobody died in vain."

"That's awfully brave, but quite stupid." I jumped in again and–shall I say professor McGonagall (?)–Sidney sighed deeply. She was annoyed with me, but I couldn't let anyone else be involved. Voldemort is playing a different game, with different strategies. It's new, and worse this time.

"Scram, Harry. This is happening with or without you." 

I raised an eyebrow but she turned her back, and Hagrid stepped in, "If I may..'arry, you've been at it with Voldemort yeh entire life, we decided to take it from 'ere, so yer don't get hurt. A bright one, yer are. Yeh have a future, don't let it go to waste."

He had a hand on my shoulder but I just furiously shoved it off and stormed off. 

Even Hagrid is all for suicide?! No! None of them have even touched dark magic, or even seen it face to face, and they're gonna try and fight back? With what? That's like bringing a stick to a gun fight. You've gotta be quite a fucking stick expert to win that battle. 

Something about that Sidney girl was off. Not that I didn't believe she wasn't a McGonagall, because I'm sure she is if she's taken her mothers spot, it's just that she was..different. Acting out of something. Her attitude was different. I wanted to know what. 

As I slammed shut the door to Snape's office and started to pace angrily, Draco had shot up and stared at me. I ran a frustrated hand through my slightly long hair and rubbed my chin. 

They're all gonna die. Recklessly, I might add! That's like, even worse than dying in general. Imagine being embarrassed beyond the grave and getting bullied by all the other ghosts because you were an idiot trying to fight Voldemort who's more powerful than you anticipated?!!!

Dumb! As! Fuck!

"Harry! Christ! Stop, Im getting dizzy." Draco groaned when he threw himself backwards but I didn't listen and continued pacing. I was trying to figure out a way to stop everyone. But I couldn't. They were following Sidney, because they thought she had a point. 

She didn't! News flash!

I bit my lip carefully and turned towards the desk. I immediately went over and started rummaging through the junk until I found the map, you know, of Hogwarts? I hid it in here in case I'd ever need it. 

My eyebrows furrowed when I didn't see her name in the great hall. I saw Monty, and stared for a minute. 

Draco sat up after realizing I wasn't giving him any of my attention and he coughed, then a few more times because I didn't bat an eyelash. 

"Potter!"

I looked up for split second and then back to the map, but he sighed and I immediately looked back at him, staring. 

"What is it?" He asked, and I jumped up. I wanted to explain it. I needed a second opinion. 

"Professor McGonagall has a daughter, did you know that?"

"No? Am I supposed to care?"

"Yes. Her name is Sidney and she is taking her mothers spot. She just announced to everybody that she's gonna be recklessly fighting a war against Voldemort, whether I like it or not."

"Well that's dumb."

"Yeah! I know! She was giving me attitude this whole time. None of them stand a chance against Voldemort as long as he has the memoir. So I want to go see what her deal is, find out what she's really up to because something seemed off, but on my map, it says Monty McGonagall. What?"

Draco gave the same judging confused look he always has when I talk nonsense and waltz over to see what I was dramatically trying to explain. 

His eyes glazed over the great hall and he rolled his eyes, "Maybe she's suicidal but doesn't want to die for nothing. Let her live-"

"Yeah, that's what I'm trying to do, Malfoy."

He rolled his eyes and slowly walked behind me, smoothly pressing his hips against me and grabbing my forehead and pulling me back, "Or..you're just paranoid."

"I'm not paranoid, I have a gut feeling. Are you trying to seduce me? Out of all times? Now is the best? Huh?" 

Draco didn't answer and shoved the map out of the way so it didn't get damaged and then bent me against the table harshly. 

I gasped, since I hadn't expected such dominance. I know I said he could, but I didn't think he'd actually do anything. He pulled my pants down, and I could just feel his grin. 

"I'm serious when I say there's something off. Draco-" I was cut off by him slamming his hips against me, and slowly tried to slither out of his grip. He let me though, and watched as I turned my body around and came face first with his hips, staring up, "I'll give you a blowjob if you help me investigate."

"Only if I can tie you up while you do it. And you have to swallow."

I cocked an eyebrow and he started undoing his belt as if I gave an answer, "Swallow?"

"If you're not gonna let me fuck you the least you can do is swallow my load."

I rolled my eyes as he leaned over me and tied my hands behind my back with his belt. 

He leaned down and pulled my pants down to reveal my cock, and then pressed a short kiss on my lips, which forced me to stare up at him as he tugged his pants down. 

Draco strokes himself a few times and I watched bored as ever. I couldn't help but think about Sidney. Wait- Not like, sexually- because obviously I'm not attracted to her- god, I always pick the wrong times. 

The whole situation with her has me worried and I can't focus on Draco. I want to, and trust me I usually would, but somethings off. 

He grabbed my jaw and made me look up, "Doze off one more time, Harry."

I stared for a moment and then looked at his hard on, "I like it when you call me Potter, not Harry."

Draco chuckled as I put him in my mouth and slowly took him deeper to see what my limit was. His jaw fell only a bit and he tugged on my hair to encourage me to go deeper. 

And I did, as far as I could, which was only halfway before I gagged. But Draco didn't pull out and held the back of my head so I couldn't either. I could breathe, but I had a gag reflex. 

He started to move his hips and thrusted until he hit the back of my throat. I kept my mouth open as wide as I could, holding eye contact with Draco. As he thrusted he was creating this sound from my spit building up in the back of my throat every time he thrusted forward. I think it turned him on, and it helped me stop gagging once it started to hurt slightly. I kind of dig the pain though. It's scratchy, and new. 

His thrusts got quicker and he grunted louder and started to push me backwards, causing me to hit the desk. 

I wanted to touch myself, because I knew it'd be a problem if I didn't, but my hands were tied, I couldn't. 

"Suck it, Potter." Draco said anxiously as he grabbed my hair and watched as I closed my lips around him and sucked as I bobbed my head fast. He seemed to like it faster rather than slow. 

"Fuck.."

There was a knock on the door and the two of us stopped, and I looked up at him with wide eyes. It was probably Hermione, I told her to meet us. 

As the knob turned Draco threw his hand in the direction of it and the lock clicked, "Piss off!" 

"Malfoy?!" She yelled from outside and jiggled the lock a few times, "Harry told me to stop by! Come on! Open it!"

"He's not here. Stalking that McGonagall girl. Go elsewhere, twit!" 

I kicked my knee forward into his shin and he hissed, "What?!!?"

When I heard Hermione groan and walk off, I nodded at Draco and he put himself back inside my mouth and moaned when I started bobbing my head. 

He grabbed the back of mine and pushed me further down, his hips meeting with my face and he moaned even louder, "Shit-"

I felt as his cum shot out into the back of my throat, causing me to cough as some of it went down, Draco pulling out. 

The two of us heaved for a moment and he lazily grabbed my head and got on his knees with me, "I wanna watch you swallow it, love."

I innocently stared back as I did swallow it. I'll admit it was saltier than I imagined, but I liked it. 

Draco went in and kissed my lips, slowly untying the belt from my wrists and shoving his tongue in my mouth. 

"Do I taste good?" He whispered against me. I nodded as his hand went down to my dick and he slowly groped me. 

I gasped and arched my back, but I couldn't move my head away because he was biting my bottom lip. I moaned loudly and he was quick to shut me up by kissing me more. 

Our tongues met in the middle, only I was a little distracted by the overwhelming feeling of him touching me. I felt so overwhelmed, like I tried everything in my power to cope with it, which ended up with small parts of my body squirming. Like arching my back, curling my toes, my legs shaking slightly. It made me feel weak, but powered with pleasure. I don't know how to explain it. 

"Please, Potter, I'm hardly touching you." He said smugly as he brought his own dick with my and rubbed us together with his hand and hips. 

I gasped loudly against his lips and opened my eyes, "Wai-"

With that, I came all over his leg and over the floor and panted, tired. 

I'd like to remind myself that this was all new to me, being sexually involved with a...experienced guy, well yeah, you can understand why I don't exactly know how to react to such pleasure, especially when I've never felt it. 

Draco kisses down my neck a few times and then brought his hand up to my face, holding intense eye contact for a moment. 

I felt so entranced by his stare. Like I wanted to feel like this all the time. It was so..beautiful. The feeling was. 

When I opened my mouth slightly, as I started to lean closer to connect our lips, his hand softly cupped my cheek, and he slowly kissed me. 

My heart jumped, and I was suddenly so awake and aware of what was going on. I melted against his lips and desperately hugged his neck, as his hands rested on my lower back. 

The kiss was slow and sweet, it was special. And different. He's never kissed me this way, and I don't think it was just to kiss. I think whatever the eye contact did brought us to this. 

I don't know what this meant but it was something. I don't know how to explain it at all. But it was..different, than our average kissing. It made me feel different. 

I eagerly tried to deepen the kiss, it felt so amazing and I thought if it was more intense, it'd feel even better. That wasn't the case. 

Draco grabbed my wrists so I couldn't make him deepen the kiss, and our hands rested low as he slowly kissed me. 

With that, I'm gonna take it this is as good as it gets. And trust me, that's not a complaint. I loved this feeling. 

My heart was jumping out of my chest, my stomach didn't have that gut feeling I usually gets when it comes to being gay and doing shit that's gay. I loved it. 

I knew in this moment I trusted Draco, because if I didn't I wouldn't feel so..good about this. 

It took me..longer than a moment to realize this is what love felt like. Romantically, I might add. I wasn't supposed to feel it, we agreed this wasn't gonna turn into anything more than just a booty call, but I think it's too late to call that. 

For me at least. 

I slowly brought my hand up to his cheek and held him close as I pulled away, not far. I rested my forehead against his as I licked my lips, trying to lock that feeling into my memories. 

Draco seemed to feel the same thing, because we both reacted similarly. He rested his hands on my cheeks as well and slowly opened his eyes. Mine were already open and we chuckled for a moment, but his beaming slowly faded and he pulled back, like he realized something. 

I watched him back up and stand on his feet, slowly walking over to the door and unlocking it, "You should go find McGonagall. See what her deal is. I trust your gut."

"Wait.." I stood as well and stared at him, he was uncomfortable, kind of, it was more of an unsure expression, though. "you..I- what just happened? What did I do?"

"Nothing, you did what I wanted. Gave me a blowjob. Thanks. We both got off. I'll catch up with you later."

"No- No! That kiss..was..different. I never felt anything like that. What's it mean?"

"It means it can't happen again. Go."

My eyebrows pinched together and I squinted angrily, "I'm not leaving without you-"

"That's the problem! You're attached. You're gonna get me killed."

"And you bloody aren't?!" I exclaimed with a dry chuckle, more sarcastic, really, "You kissed me back, just as passionate about it as I was!"

"You heard me, Harry. It can't happen. You can't just fall for me without putting me in danger. It's not selfish for me protecting myself." 

"I'm in just as much danger as you are. You can't pretend you don't feel the same. Because no matter what you tell yourself, you fell for Harry Potter, as he fell for you. Let it sink in that you were a pussy and let go of that." I walked closer and reached for the door knob, "People have crushes all the time, but it's rare they fall in love. This is romantic. Not a booty call, not a crush, not a friendship. Tell yourself whatever you need to, because I'm leaving and I'm not coming back. Consider yourself safe, Draco."

He gave an angered stare and when I moved my eyes away to open the door, he finally looked at his feet like he felt guilty. Good, I want him to live with that.

Funny how we can go from a sexual tension to an awkward tension within seconds.

When I pulled the door open to walk out, Draco grabbed my hand suddenly and pulled me into his body. 

I was hoping he'd do that. Refuse to let me walk out. 

He held my hands down and slowly pressed his lips against me, in case I didn't approve of it. But I did. I wanted to push him away and tell him we can't, but part of me wanted him to do this. To try everything in his power to get me to stay. I liked knowing I was wanted. 

I'm an attention seeking brat, okay? I admit it. 

I didn't kiss back at first, I was wondering why he'd feel like he had to do that. I understand that there's some kind of connection, but he didn't have to kiss me to stay. He simply just had to ask me to and I would've. 

When he let go of my hands to cup my face, I brought mine up as my eyes teared up slightly. I got really lucky to develop this relationship with Draco, seriously. Hardly anyone gets to experience such a fond admiration love feeling. Romantically. Not like family. 

I slowly kissed back and held his face close to mine. 

He heard me sniffle and opened his eyes, realizing I was crying. He panicked, "Why the tears?"

"Because you're right. This is gonna get one of us killed." 

"Unless we stop it before Voldemort finds out."

"I can't do that." I murmured, and averted my eyes but Draco forced me to look back at him with his hands, "Harry, I can't either. But I think we have to."

I nodded, as he leaned back in and kissed me again. 

One thing I know is he purposely argued with me, to repress what was really there. Draco wanted me to feel hopeless for feeling the mutual..love, I guess. It's not rocket science. You just have to pay attention. 

I spun us around and pressed him against the cracked door, which shut when Draco fell against it. I pressed our chests together. 

The moment felt really soft to me, which made it important. I never knew I could feel this sure about us, and yet so unsure. I don't know what was gonna happen next, but just being able to kiss Draco was enough for me. 

He let me control the kiss, this time. 

My tongue slowly met with his and they danced in harmony for split second, but I removed a hand from his face and stuck my hand down his pants, which weren't buttoned or zipped because only four minutes ago I gave him a blowjob. 

My pants were buttoned and zipped because I was preparing to leave. While I touched him, he fumbled with my button. 

"We should talk before this-" Draco tried to say but I breathed heavily against his lips, "Talk later."

"But-"

I cut him off by kissing him even softer, I knew that feeling left him all fuzzy inside because he melted against my lips and the two of us started stumbling towards the mattress. 

"I thought we just agreed to not do this.." he said as we fell down to the mattress. He was laid on his back while I was between his legs, trailing my fingers up his torso. 

"We did." I mumbled as I glanced at the door, then back to Draco. 

He looked at the door as well, and then said, "One last time." Before locking it with magic. 

I chuckled cheekily as I pulled his pants down, kissing near his already hard cock. As I did this, he leaned forward and threw his shirt beside us, then pulling mine off. He continued touching me down below and moaned when my lips softly skimmed over his tip while he tried his best to tug my pants off. 

When he succeeded, I kicked them off and climbed over him, without breaking our kiss. 

The two of us were breathing heavily, but it wasn't intense. It was slow and sweet. Something about it..was nice. 

The kiss got more passionate, and the two of us kissed each other desperately.

I think I've accepted the fact that, this was..I mean, it was something. It's not platonic, nor sexual. I don't know what to call it. But I've accepted it. Draco doesn't want to, but he knows it. 

His breath hitched and he moaned when I grind our hips together, and he grabbed the back of my neck harshly. 

Draco finally pushed me off him and we held eye contact as we caught out breaths, but he breathlessly turned himself over and licked his lips. 

This was happening?

In a way I'm losing my topping virginity, seeing as I've lost my bottom virginity. Is that a thing? It should be for gays. Unless you're just a pure top or bottom, then you do you. 

I fell on top of him and he turned his head to kiss me. While I did this, Draco reached over to the side of the bed and grabbed the lube, rubbing it on himself for me. It was hot, I could feel his hand moving under me. I might've even moaned at the mental picture I had going. 

Once he stopped kissing me I looked at the sight of his naked body underneath me. I couldn't help but admire the sight. 

"Less staring more fucking." Draco reached behind him and grabbed my wrists, causing me to fall forward and rest on top of him. I knew he did this because he wanted me to kiss him. But I didn't, I watched his face grow more desperate as I rubbed my finger over his hole. His jaw dropped lower and he whimpered, but in a cute way. 

I wanna say he's bottomed before, but he just has this top energy I can't explain. So I don't know. 

Once I figured I waited long enough, I slowly pushed myself inside, effortlessly. He was tight, but not first time tight. I could tell. 

Either way, I moaned at the feeling of him clenching around me the deeper I went, "Holy shit-"

He laughed at my reaction and leaned back into me, bringing a hand back and holding onto my arm as I started pumping into him. 

It felt so good, warm, made my stomach want to explode. It almost felt overwhelming, but it wasn't, not yet at least. 

I went slow, but not so slow it wasn't pleasurable. Compared to how our sex usually is, this was slow thrusts. 

Draco would moan every time I pushed inside him, each time going deeper and deeper until his arm fell and he began to let the pleasure consume him. 

I brought my hand to his forehead and ran it through his sweaty hair, until he tilted his head back and eyed my lips, not leaning in because he didn't have the strength to. 

He'd end up moaning and cutting himself off before he'd be able to lean in. 

So, I did. I pressed my lips against him and quickened my pace a little bit, causing him to moan louder against my mouth and whimper once more. 

I let him fall so he didn't have to hold himself up and brought my hands over him, intertwining them and pressed his into the mattress. 

Occasionally I'd kiss the back of his neck, he'd react with another whine, but a whine of pleasure. 

"Go deeper-" He said breathlessly, "I want to feel you as deep inside me as you can." 

I heard his request and let go of his hand, moving mine to his ass and spreading it, pulling out for a moment. Draco groaned, "Put it bac-Put it back in-"

I did immediately and pushed as deep as I could, until my hips hit his bum, and then I pulled back, repeating it. 

The pace was slow at first, until I got the hang out it and could focus on pleasing him faster. 

I started to thrust deeper and faster until he yelped, and curled his toes. 

I only bit my lip at the sight of him trying to contain the feelings inside him, but he couldn't. He liked that he couldn't, I liked that he couldn't. 

"Don't stop-" he said as I fell down against him and wrapped an arm around his neck, kissing his jaw as I lifted my hips up and down hard. With each contact we made, he moaned, causing his voice to go up and down. It was hot. I've always wanted to hear someone make that noise because of me. I'm glad it was Draco. 

"Turn, love." I let go of his neck as he scurried onto his knees–after I pulled out–and fell down to his back. I didn't waste a second, and immediately leaned down to kiss him. 

He used his tongue the second we touched lips and pulled my hips down until I pushed inside him, without any guidance necessary. 

Draco swallowed his gasp and laid his head back, bringing his arms beside his head. I took the opportunity and intertwined our hands again, pressing our chests together as I continued that deep fast pace from before. 

In this moment I'm going to admit–only once will I admit–that I felt love. This is what love felt like. Not the sex or anything, but the feeling that filled my whole body and made me want to smile at Draco who I knew felt the same in this moment. I don't know how to explain the amount of beautiful shit going through my mind. 

"I.." Draco started but stopped when I thrusted more, clearly expecting it but not, at the same time. 

I didn't want him to finish, everything felt more intense because I knew I was close. The only friction Draco was receiving was my waist rubbing against him as I went deep. 

With one last thrust, I moaned loudly and pulled out, stroking the two of us eagerly because Draco was just as close as I was and suddenly, we both cane all over Draco's torso. 

We heaved as I slowly fell next to him, the two of us staring up at the ceiling. 

"Wow.." we said in unison. We looked at each other and then giggled, as he turned and rested his head on my shoulder. 

"I-" I tried to whisper. 

"You can't finish that sentence." His eyes found mine and I frowned, looking up. I know I shouldn't. 

Voldemort could be listening in on my mind any moment and there's a good chance I won't sense it. 

"We should talk, be on the same page." He said as he sat up and started tugging on his clothes. 

I watched him as he did it and zoned him out for a minute, just admiring. 

Look, I do, truly. I love him, and I've known it since the first time we hooked up. I just can't think it or say it if I'm not willing to fight anyone butting in on my business. 

Draco knew just as well as I did we'd never make it past sloppy kisses and sex, nothing passionate. Maybe the sex is, but we can't read into it. I knew this, and he acted more than I did on these facts. 

He threw my boxers at me and sighed next to me, "We cant..mean anything. No attachments, nothing can be read into, can't say anything like..that. Sex? Sure. But meaningless. Your mindset has to be 'this is pointless sex that gives me pleasure' it can't be 'sex with Malfoy is passionate and I love it because I love him' you know? I can't mean a thing to you Potter. So stop before you hurt yourself."

I tugged my boxers on and ignored him for a split second. Problem is I'm already kind of hurt. But deep down I knew he was just protecting himself as well as me, because as long as Voldemort is in the picture we can't mean a thing. 

I'm quite surprised that Draco didn't react different to my..cut off confession. It's like he expected me to say it, meaning he knew it was mutual if he expected it. 

Maybe mutual, or that it's just one sided. 

"Fine, we're friends with benefits. You're still helping me stalk McGonagall." I mumbled. Draco just nodded and pursed his lips, watching me kind of doze off as I stood and grabbed my scattered clothes. He inhaled sharply, "You're..okay with all this..right?"

I paused before pulling my shirt over my head and frowned, "How am I ever gonna be okay with the fact that I'm not allowed to express anything with you, just through sex and kissing or affection. That's a bit toxic, innit?"

"Toxic beats dead." Draco mumbles. 

"It's whatever. I can't always fight Voldemort so I'll change my mindset and we can continue screwing like pathetic twits who hide from everyone."

"I like to think of it more as two gay kids are affectionate and are gay at a school full of homophobes so they run off to the only safe place in the school to make love. A bit poetic-"

"You aren't even close to it, Malfoy." I put my shoes back on and started towards the door, glancing back when he didn't follow, "You coming?"

"Gladly, Potter."

For starters, I guess calling each other by our first names was just too intimate, to be honest. It's not our thing. 

We walked down the hall and lucky I had grabbed the marauders map on our way out. Said McGonagall was in her office, or her mothers at least. 

"Say she's completely normal, and you're paranoid, then what?" Draco sped walk, barely keeping up with me, but he was managing. I shrugged, "Or she's a death eater and is Voldemort's inside man since I'm stronger now that I'm an adult and can fight him?"

"Was that honestly a question or a suggestion."

"Probably a gut fact."

Draco sighed from annoyance but nonetheless turned the corner with me. Once we were outside her door, I pulled out my cloak but he grabbed my hand and pushed it downward, "We don't need that."

"Like hell we don't-" I went to put it around me but he just pulled his wand out and raised an eyebrow at me, seeing if I trusted him. And I did, but he wasn't letting me know what he was doing. 

He made me put the cloak away and stared directly at my eyes until I returned the eye contact. He used his free hand to grab one of mine, "Trust me, Potter."

I just nodded hesitantly and there was a small flash of light, and then nothing. I could still see him. I furrowed my eyebrows as he backed away and put his wand in his inside pocket. 

"Uhh, Draco, love, if that was supposed to be a cloaking spell it didn't work very well."

He rolled his eyes and grabbed my hand, shoving me through the door first. In a panic I froze when McGonagall looked my way, but she was just eyeing the door, she looked away seconds later and my wide eyes found Draco's. 

"Cloaking spell only makes you visible to whoever else you used the spell on. Doesn't last long, but works better than your cloak. Only you can see me and only I can see you, she can't see us."

"Hear us?" 

"No."

I nodded as I walked closer. Her mum had quite a big office. I mean, it was like the size of a football stadium. 

Given, it was probably only big because she was the one who collected all the ancient books that brought back wizarding school. It was a thing before her, but the lessons became much more important, and actually gave the students excitement. 

Yeah, her family was a big reason modern Hogwarts exists, most wizards didn't know they existed until the McGonagall's swooped in and saved everyone. We live in secret but I've got to say I'm thankful for it. I'd be nothing without my wand. 

Meaning if I weren't a wizard I'd just be ordinary, and ordinary is boring. 

Sidney took her robe off, revealing casual attire and she set it on her chair, then pulling a wig off. 

I widened my eyes and glanced at Draco, who was grinning out of amusement. 

Sidney had very short hair, like a guys haircut. Quite a surprise. To me at least. I didn't expect it. 

"It's safe, my love." She said as she began walking back towards the bookshelves. 

A woman peeked around the corner and then sighed relief, running into her arms. The two spun for a few moments and I took a step back, so Sidney's a lesbian, cool. Everybody's gay nowadays, I guess. 

But I stepped back because this is what I pictured Draco and I like. Appreciating any moment we got to be affectionate and both knew it was our 'I love you' because we can't say it. 

I knew he didn't think that way, at all, and I shouldn't anymore, but I couldn't help it. 

"We need to get you out of here. Go home, Kelly. Everybody who evacuated has an option to return and we have more than seven hundred students returning. I need you to leave. You'll get caught, and I'm afraid Hogwarts is different now. I don't know what the punishment will be if you get caught, a muggle, in a school of magic."

"God," Kelley scoffed, but it wasn't at Sidney, "even a wizarding world has forbidden love because their society disapproves. I figured you guys would be different from 'muggles'. This is like a weaponized America that doesn't realize they have potential to be weaponized." 

I glanced at Draco who eyed the map, seeing Monty McGonagall and Kelly Tristal. 

"So..maybe Sidney is a trans woman, and the marauders map is just transphobic." He mumbled, handing it back as he walked closer. Sidney places a hand over Kelly's and kissed her cheek, "I love you, but I have a feeling Harry Potter won't if he finds out about you. Not sure he's a muggle fan. Plus the kid thinks he runs the school."

"That's the famous one, correct?"

"Yeah, thinks he's the shit. Almost ends the battle of Hogwarts and suddenly thinks he owns the school." 

Draco snorted, "I like her.."

I rolled my eyes, because not true! I don't.

"Thinks he's above the law?" Kelly nudged her and Sidney just crossed her arms, "Above the what?"

"Muggle saying. What I mean is he thinks the rules don't apply to him."

"Yeah, kid ran off for months with some boy because the enemies were looking for the kid and he waltz back in like he did nothing wrong. That's punishable by suspension. Nobody leaves this school, especially with Voldemort going on."

I simply walked closer and eye stuff on her desk, "She couldn't have picked a better time to complain about me?"

"It's not like what she's saying isn't true.." Draco eyed the papers and pictures as well as I did and I just nudged him with a grin, "You're supposed to be on my side."

"I am, but doesn't mean you're still not a self-centered prick."

"Subtle." I saw the framed picture of Sidney and McGonagall, but it wasn't Sidney. If she is trans, then that must've been before transition. The hair was the same. I'm gonna take it she has trouble growing it out. She used to have facial hair though. Not that it's relevant, i'm just trying to be observant. 

"Hey, just saying, this cloaking spell doesn't last forever." Draco mumbled as he stepped back so Sidney could sneak Kelly towards the door. She had wrapped her robe around Kelly and gave her a small paper, "Go to the Woods next to Hagrid's house. I'll find you and take you home, okay?"

Kelly just nodded, "That Harry Potter kid probably means well. I say don't judge him so soon. He's probably done a lot for this school."

"Yeah, well, so did my mom, and she died for Harry Potter."

"You know that's not true."

"Just go Kelly, I have a meeting with council members, then I'll meet you. Stay warm." She kissed her cheek as the two rushed out of the room together and then parted ways. 

"Sidney McGonagall is trans. Her mom accepted her, meanwhile her dad didn't. She grew closer to her mom, but got thrown out. Kelly was homeless, and that's where Sidney met her, a homeless shelter. You piece together the rest. She's no death eater though, I know that's what you're thinking. She came to avenge her mom, not offend her beyond the grave." 

I turned to where the voice came from and sighed, "Please Sirius, just join in on the private investigation why don't you."

"Sirius Black? He's here?" Draco glanced around and I just eyed him with a dumb grin. 

"Tell him I'll pull his toenails off if he screws up this thing with you."

"It's not a thing, Sirius. We just hookup, that's all."

"Mm, you said otherwise during our last visit.."

Draco looked at me, "What's he saying?!"

I snorted, "Yeah, uh, he's threatening you, basic family protective shit. You hurt me, he'll hurt you, don't fuck it up."

"If I choked you would he choke me back? I'd be down for that."

I eyed Draco with a sarcastic stare but Sirius grabbed a pen from Sidney's desk and threw it at Draco's head. 

Draco groaned, "What the hell?!!?"

"It was Sirius, not me." I mumbled and picked up a paper, it was a note, but wasn't signed. 

It said that Harry Potter is the key to this all, and to protect him. That's basically what it said. 

I handed it to Draco when he got needy and he snorted, "Why're you always the key to everything."

"Chosen one." Sirius mumbled while looking over Draco's shoulders. I just sighed and looked at the picture one last time, finally turning to Sirius, "How's Ron..?"

He glanced my way and then nodded reluctantly, "Alive."

"That's it? Just..alive?" 

Draco's head shot up and he eyed me with concern. "He's avoiding something if he just said Ron is alive. Probably being tortured."

Sirius let out a huff and held his hands up in defense when I stared harder, "Okay, Voldemort has his best men torturing him. He wants to know your strategies. Because he can't get in your head without risking a lot right now. He's trying to weaken you, and I'm afraid it'll start with Ron."

My jaw dropped and I gulped, a panic washing over me. Torture? Weaken me?! What the fuck is this a bloody thriller movie? Well..

"What'd he say?" Draco set the note down and noticed my paleness and then grabbed my hand, "Woah, Potter, sit down. Christ, you're pale. And burning up."

"I'm gonna be sick." I mumbled. Sirius basically just told me there's a good chance that Voldemort is gonna torture Ron to death and then deliver him to my doorstep to send a message and weaken me. 

A rescue mission is a must, now.


	13. Chapter 13

I explained what Sirius said and Draco was pacing back and forward while biting his lip, "We can't just leave, the school will be on major lockdown after that stunt you and I pulled at the start of all this.."

He groaned, "Tell Sirius lack that his timing is terrible. And he fucking sucks."

"Did that boy just call me Sirius lack?"

"Yeah," I snorted angrily, "because you lack good timing and common sense. Why did you just now tell me?! Instead of rolling around with Draco I could've been discussing a plan-"

"Hey the sex was fucking great don't blame us for having a healthy sex life. Ron will be fine."

Sirius threw another pen but Draco dodges it this time and point his finger while spinning, "Come here you egotistical dick! We'll see what match your pens are against my magic, huh?"

"Stop threatening my god father," I groaned and Draco just sighed as he sat on my lap, completely ignoring the fact Sirius was present. 

He grabbed the note once more and pointed, "This is Professor McGonagall's vocabulary. It's likely from her, hence why Sidney decided to finish the job. As much as I hate it, Harry Potter is the only one I know brave enough to stop him."

"You're the only one who's probably capable of it, so a team it is." I rubbed his arm and Sirius awkwardly turned around and stared up, "Visit me, Harry. I need to show you something."

I pat Draco's sides and closed my eyes, reopening them in the same room Sirius was in last time. I followed him into the hallway and outside some dungeon door, seeing Ron hanging by his wrists with blood streaming down his entire body into a puddle below him. 

My heart sank, "Holy shit Ron!"

I went to unlock the door, but Sirius stopped me, "He won't stand a chance fighting his way out. And you can't do anything just visiting. He's dying, Harry. If there's a good time to be the hero I think now is that time."

With one last look at Ron, I turned back to Sirius, "Please keep me updated if anything happens. If you have any idea's on how we can get in and out without a fight then I'm all ears. Meanwhile, something about Sidney doesn't add up. Keep Ron alive as long as possible."

Sirius nodded and I was back in the room with Draco. He pulled some file out from a locked drawer that he opened with his magic and pulled fully printed pictures out. 

It's of Ron, and the death eaters. She has an inside man. Instead of her being the inside guy, she has one on Voldemort. Holy shit. 

"Holy shit.." Draco mumbled..

"Holy fuck, we need to find out what more she knows-"

"And risk her finding out we snooped and then get ourselves locked up because we're reckless, or even expelled?!"

"If she found out about half the stuff we've done this past week or two we'd get expelled. I think we're past worrying about it at this point."

He glared for a moment but then sat down, "We need to find Hermione, Blaise, and Pansy-"

"Blaise?" I didn't glance his way and flipped through the pictures. There were plenty of Ron, and other kids from Hogwarts being tortured. My heart aches. I didn't realize it was this bad.

"More help." He mumbled and I just sighed, "We need to go, now. Draco, Ron is in serious danger. If he dies- I-" my head started spinning at the thought, "I-"

"Hey," Draco said harshly, causing me to look his way nervously. "Ron isn't gonna die. I'll do everything in my power to make sure of it."

I just nodded and looked away, I wanted to trust him and believe his words. Not saying I doubt he'd do everything in his power, just that I don't know the chances of Ron surviving. It's scary having to think about it. 

Soon Draco and I rushed out and started towards Hermione's room. We received stares from kids returning from the evacuation but all were ignored. 

Enemies walking side by side during a war? Yeah, I'd stare too. 

We rushed into Hermione's room to see Pansy pressing her against a dresser while looking smug. 

Hermione had her head raised slightly with the same smug grin, fucking lesbians man. 

"Ahem!" I raised my hands and stared at the two out of annoyance, but Draco finished my next sentence, "Ron! Is! Gonna! Die! Get your gay asses ready rescue mission is a go!"

"He means that in a not-insulting way." I nodded and they immediately broke apart and Hermione rubbed her nose, "How's he gonna die? How do you know?"

"There's a lot to explain, and I just don't have time right now. Just- please-"

"Harry!" She exclaimed, "How?!"

Draco rolled his eyes, "He just said he doesn't have time to explain. Do you want your boyfriend to die or what??"

The two girls glanced at each other out of guiltiness and Hermione raised her chin, "Going in blind?"

"Basically?" I just shrugged, but as I turned around to leave with everyone, Sidney McGonagall stood right there in the doorway, "Leaving so soon? Do you just think because kids are returning it'll go unnoticed?"

The two of us stared until Draco just ran a frustrated hand through his hair, "For Christ sake you insensitive twit! Kids are dying and your inside guy is taking pictures of them! Like a bloody photographer. Do you honestly think a photographer is going to save us all, or the boy who lived and defeated Voldemort once before, and I assure you he can sure as fucking hell do it again. Get out of our way."

She swallowed, as if she was biting her tongue. Her anger was hidden, but I could see through the faked expression, "Potter, Malfoy, my office, now. I've had enough of you two."

"And so has Voldemort," Pansy stepped in, Hermione stepping beside us as well, "but that's what makes us alive. Their stubbornness. They're too stubborn to die. Your priorities aren't straight, Professor." 

"I-"

Draco grabbed my hand and I glanced down out of confusion, but he was holding his wand and keeping McGonagall's eyes met with his so she didn't notice. I slowly grabbed Pansy's hand and she grabbed Hermione's. 

"Talk once everybody's safe, yeah?" I gave her a fake smile and dropped it the second Draco's wand lit up. 

Everything froze, and McGonagall stood with an angered expression as she was about to grab me, but I guess Draco stopped time...just in time. 

"I need to know where I'm going." He turned to me. Hermione and Pansy were froze and well and I slowly let go of their hands, eyeing Draco. 

He awaited me to contact Sirius and get an address or summat, but I stared at his eyes sadly. 

"Will I remember this?" I asked. 

There was only one other time that I've been part of these ancient spells before, and I only remember it because I performed it. So I knew Draco would remember. 

"You probably won't. It's rare someone does." He took a step back and leaned against the dresser as I walked closer. 

"This could either go really good or terribly, so let me say this now, I love you. I don't know how the fuck you got me to but you did. It's your fault. And I'm going to be worried sick about you this entire rescue mission so don't fucking leave my side. It's war, splitting up makes it a strategy game. We don't have time for strategy."

He stopped being so tense and slowly unfolded his arms, staring back just as intensely. I wasn't going to remember it, but he would. That was enough for me. 

"I..won't. I promise." He nodded as I did and I backed up, getting ready to connect with Sirius but before I could close my eyes, Draco grabbed my face and attacked my lips, but in a shocking and nice way. 

I raised both my eyebrows as I sunk into the feeling and held his arms as the kiss lasted awhile, or what felt like forever. Reality was probably seconds. But it made me so relaxed, that time had somehow slowed down again and this time I could feel it. 

As Draco slowly pulled back, he rested his forehead against mine, "I love you too. We're gonna make it out of this, okay?"

I gave a half-hearted smile and sighed, "You remember this for me, yeah? Lord knows you'll never say it to me again." 

"I will," he placed his finger on my cheek and eyed my lips and eyes, "just not while Voldemort can use it against me. I don't know how you did it to me either. We were never supposed to fall for each other."

"No, we weren't." I chuckled weakly and frowned, "But since I won't remember this and you will, I'm glad we did. Gives me something worth fighting for."

"Likewise." 

I pursed my lips and finally closed my eyes when Draco took a step back, and before I knew it I was in a room with Sirius, and some others. 

When he spotted me he raised his eyebrows and excused himself, rushing to the dark kitchen.

"What, Harry?"

"I need an address. Something. I can't let my peers suffer because of me."

"I..can't do that." Sirius glanced around the corner to make sure nobody was eavesdropping. 

I straightened my back, "If you're my family, you'll give me something to work with."

"That's manipulative."

"Says the one who appears to have betrayed me."

Sirius sighed and hesitantly looked at the wall, where my eyes followed and landed on a whiteboard, with coordinates. 

"Thank you." I whispered and he slowly nodded, "I can't do anything for you if someone gets caught, got it kid? I can't blow my cover."

"Yeah," I just nodded, turning my back until I was back in the room with Draco. 

I didn't want to say why I left. He won't risk blowing his cover if someone I care about gets caught? Says a lot. Look at Ron.

"Got it?" He asked, and I just nodded, rushing to the notebook on Hermione's nightstand and scribbling the numbers from Sirius. 

Draco just nodded, "This is London. Voldemort's dumb. That's easy, you'd think if we were gonna show that he'd make it hard for me so I cant fight when I get there."

"Or he's plain smart. Did you expect him to be in London?"

"No.."

"My point." I walked over to Pansy and readjusted our hands, glancing at Draco, "Let's get this over with, sexy."

"Your flirting makes it too tempting."

He walked back beside me and held his wand in his other hand, then intertwining ours. 

Time remained slow, and I still remembered it, and opened my eyes and glanced at Draco who was just watching me. 

"Thanks for..stuff." 

"I'm not gonna remember this, love." I remind him as I squeeze his hand, "You can get a little more poetic or cliche."

Draco chuckled and just nodded. "Thanks for..deciding I was worth loving. All I've ever done is push you away, until now. You're a keeper."

"And a good one at that." I nodded confidently. Draco only smiled in my general direction and took a deep breath, "God, I could use a beer right now."

"Refraining from confessing your emotions doesn't get you the passionate fucks, Draco. When we can breathe for once, remember, passionate fucks."

His eyes lit up just as I knew they would and he smugly grinned at me, nodding, "I don't think I'll ever be able to admit such a thing if you can remember it."

"I know, but I'd just appreciate the effort." We both looked straight at McGonagall and I squeezed his hand, and everything was back, the flash of light lit the whole room until we weren't there anymore. 

Suddenly we were surrounded by tree's and I glanced around, still holding Draco's hand as Pansy let go of mine and Hermione's. 

It was..actually beautiful. Voldemort must be far because Christ, these trees have not been touched. 

Once I processed our surroundings, I turned to Draco, "How the hell did you figure out where to go?!"

He just smiled softly at me and nodded at me, "I've got my secrets."

"What are you a bloody magician? A magician mustn't tell his secrets?!"

"Hell no," Draco wrapped an arm around me when I grinned slightly and we all began walking, "I don't need misdirection to perceive the art of magic. Last I checked Hogwarts was a school for wizards, not muggles who aspire to be wizards."

"No but seriously, how'd you do it?" I asked softly, as my eyes wandered over Hermione and Pansy. They were lost in their own conversation, but nonetheless followed. I'm just..glad Draco is comfortable around Hermione. I'm only comfortable around Pansy because she's gay. 

Otherwise, I wouldn't let Draco publicly display his affection towards me. 

"Used a spell."

"Forbidden spell?"

Draco didn't answer because as we walked over a small hill, the ugly abandoned house appeared. 

"What's with this guy and abandoned buildings?" Pansy asked, sarcastically, "Dude has some daddy issues."

"What if he is a daddy and we're all about to kill some tiny noseless baby's dad..?" Draco and Pansy stared at each other like potheads would and Hermione and I rolled our eyes. 

That just about explains it. 

"I feel bad for anyone who has to call this moronic goldfish daddy." Draco mumbled as we approached the ugly house. 

I asked if we could be seen and Draco said he did the cloaking spell, and we only had ten minutes before it wore off. 

How we got in was up to us. 

"So splitting up?" Hermione asked the three of us, but Draco stood back a little with his arms crossed, "I think..I'll stick with Harry."

"What? No- we'll cover more ground separated-"

"Hey," I pushed her back because she kept walking closer and I scoffed, "Voldemort literally killed his dad in front of him and took his mom, and practically ruined the dudes life. If staying with me makes him feel safer then so be it. Think of what stress coming here puts him under, Pansy."

Her eyes flickered between us like we had all the time in the world and she just laughed hysterically, "Man, oh did I like you better when you weren't fucking my best friend."

They walked off after Hermione dragged Pansy towards the basement and Draco eyed the outside with me. 

"Plan is, get Ron, grab as many others as we can, then we fucking bolt and get to a safe place in the woods." 

Draco nodded in agreement, walking to the back and seeing the gutters, climbing up it with his feet resting on the thick bolts holding it against the house. It only creaked a little bit, but not so bad someone could hear it from the inside. 

They'd think it's just a rat. 

Once he got to the balcony that probably leads to the master bedroom, he reached his hand over and helped me up the rest of the bolts. 

The two of us glanced at the window and I pointed my wand at it, unlocking it. 

Draco just chuckled, when I whined, "I feel left out. You doing all the work, give me a break."

"That's all I've been giving you." He snorted as we climbed through it. 

As we entered, I looked around. It was more modern than I expected. Truly, I thought there'd be a coffin and limbs in the mini fridge, but when I opened the one next to the be there was just..a soda can. 

We slowly made our way out through the cracked doors and avoided running into any straggling death eaters. 

Hermione and Pansy cover the basement, we cover upstairs. That was the unspoken plan. 

I grabbed Draco's wrist and stopped, closing my eyes until I appeared in front of Sirius, who was in his room reading something. 

"Where's Ron?"

Sirius glanced up and points, "Currently in the shower."

"Shower- What?"

"Yeah! Shower. You know, getting piping hot water sprayed all over him, in attempt to get him to talk about you."

"What-"

"Can't hear him because they used a spell to block out any noise from that room. He's on your floor, the rest of the kids are in the basement, get out as soon as possible." 

I just nodded and backed up until I saw Draco, and I turned my head immediately and looked for a closed door. All the doors were open except one. That must be it. 

"Closed door. Ron's in there, I know it." I dragged Draco and slowly twisted the knob, slipping inside without being noticed. Ron's screams of pain blocked out the door of the door clicking. Shit. 

There were two death eaters standing in front of a wide fancy shower, with a stick. 

One held a ball of fire, which I probably should've questioned but in the moment, Ron was more important. 

They had a fireplace rod and each time he didn't answer a question or sobbed, they'd reheat it, and shove it in his shoulder, or anywhere that wouldn't kill him, but would leave him in agonizing pain. And when that method didn't get him to talk, they'd take piping hot water and spray his whole body, and he couldn't move because he was chained to the curtain rod. 

My heart dropped and my knee's went weak, but Draco caught me so I didn't knock stuff off the wall. 

There were tears streaming down his face, his hair was soaked, but I could see the grease, he only wore boxers and even those were soaked in blood. He had open wounds all over his body. 

What bothered me the most was how everybody just stood in the halls and didn't care that a seventeen year old boy was being tortured till his last breath. 

"I know this is hard for you but listen to me Harry," Draco grabbed my shoulder and forced my head his way, "This is gonna wear off in seven minutes. We need to get this done."

I slowly nodded and pulled my wand out, but a death eater started talking. 

"Harry Potter would come running here without a second thought if his precious friend was in danger. So why do I not see him? Huh?! What's he up to, Red!" He shoved the stick back into Ron's wrist which was hung from the ceiling and he wailed from pain, watching this hurt so much. 

I reacted all too quickly and grabbed a stool, ignoring the tears that fell down from my face and whacked the man in the head, the one with the stick. Draco knocked the other one unconscious. 

Ron slowly looked up, despite being so weak that he barely managed an inch and he grunted, "Jesus?"

Draco put Ron under the spell and he saw the two of us, widening his eyes, "Harry?!?"

I smiled through the pain and started undoing the chains that held his wrists and lowered him to the ground slowly. 

"Where's Hermione?" He quivered as my hand brushed over his wound by accident and I winced, "Getting others. This is going to hurt more than you'll ever know."

Draco grabbed his feet while I held his upper half and we slowly maneuvered down towards the front door. It's the only place we'd be able to get him out. 

He yelled out in pain, "Stop- please oh my god! Please guys I- I- I.."

I looked away from behind me and walked blind for a moment when I realized he was unconscious, and Draco too panicked. "Shit, he's lost too much blood, we have to get him back to Hogwarts. I can't help him here."

Although he's never mentioned anything about handling such a situation or person before regarding medical attention, I didn't question him, I was more worried about getting Ron. 

We watched a man whisper something to another, then the next, and the next, it was like some game of telephone and we were the last ones. 

Once they all started panicking, I saw Voldemort enter the hall, "Harry Potter is here!" 

A man behind him followed him out. I recognized this kid, barely. He was a Hogwarts student. 

"That must be McGonagall's inside guy.." Draco whispered. 

"Forget that! He knows- he's gonna kill Ron we have to go-"

Voldemort smiles slightly, creepily, even. "So rude to hide when you weren't invited." He threw a strike of magic at us and suddenly, all eyes were on us, and they could see this time. 

My heart literally shattered and the two of us froze. 

"Ron's here to stay, where are you heading off to?" Voldemort fumbles with his wand, as Sirius appeared next to him, but he was wearing that suit that makes him unrecognizable. 

"At least stay for the final act." Voldemort said, when there was no response. "Jeez, tough crowd."

I looked over to Sirius desperately, but he didn't even hold eye contact before looking straight ahead of him like some bloody soldier. Of course. Why would I expect more. 

"Drop..him." Voldemort slowly pointed his wand at the two of us and we did as we were told. 

Hermione was poking her head through the door, but her cloaking spell still worked, so nobody saw her or Pansy. 

I quickly tried to go for the door, purposely, knowing that Voldemort would shoot his magic and destroy the door. If fell off its hinges and I glanced at Hermione, nodding so subtle that only she would notice. 

Her and Pansy had three bodies stacked and they dragged them through the doors. They were all unconscious, and looked as if they were getting the same treatment as Ron, only he might've got it slightly worse because he's associated with me. 

"Against the wall, both of you.." Voldemort walked closer and two death eaters grabbed us by the shoulder and arms as Voldemort kneeled down beside Ron, "Kids a fighter. I'll give him that. But that's a good reason he shouldn't go on, right boys?"

The death eaters cheered in unison and agreement, Voldemort stood back up and turned to us, staring coldly as he formed a gross smile, "Hang him by the wood above us. Give Potter and Malfoy a taste of what this war is gonna look like."

I looked at Sirius one more time and finally gave up on him, "Please, take me instead! Okay?! Be the merciful lord you are and-"

"I'll settle for Draco." Voldemort eyes Draco and then back to me, "The council requires Potter, to pay for the rules he broke, and for being associated with dark magic. Malfoy however.."

It never occurred...for the rules I've broke, I could go to Azkaban. And the second I finish this, they're going to call me to a sentencing. 

I squinted my face together angrily as Ron's unconscious body was being hung up and then spit on Voldemort's face. 

He just laughed as he wiped it, "Give Potter the night of his life. I'll be back. Have a deal to make with the wizarding council. Front row, Harry, front row. Enjoy it!"

I thought they'd just torture him in front of me, but when I saw the fireplace rod fully glowing orange from being over a lit fire, I realized that wasn't Ron's fate. My heart sank even lower if that were possible and I tried to lunge forward, "No! Wait! Please! Voldemort!"

He continued walking, until Draco yelled, "Dickless! Come back!"

Slowly, Voldemort turned, but didn't come back. He just watched. 

"I'll..trade with Weasley."

My eyes widened, "No! Wait you can't! Draco! No- don't you dare! Don't you fucking dare you said you wouldn't leave! You promised-" I struggled in the death eaters arms. 

Voldemort walked closer and the death eater next to him punched my gut, causing me to groan in pain as the death eater holding Draco slowly let him go. 

As he walked forward to trade with Ron, everything froze. Only Draco and I remained present. 

I glanced around, somehow this felt familiar, and I tried to move forward but the death eater still had a tight grip, froze or not. 

Draco stepped forward and held my face, "Ron doesn't need to die. You can win this without me. This was gonna happen sooner or later. Ron has more meaning than I do."

"That's not true, Malfoy!" I shook my head furiously, like I had to prove it with my desperate-ness, but he didn't react. 

"The second I get hung up, you grab Ron and run as far as you can."

"Draco!" I yelled, but he pressed a kiss to my cheek and nodded confidently, "Thanks, Potter."

"What ever happened-" I tried but time sped up again and everyone else was moving again. I huffed, "What about our agreement. You can't be a self-sacrificial idiot! You made me promise not to-"

The death eater punched my gut again and this time I wheezed, coughing while trying to keep my eyes on Draco. Ron was lowered to the ground and Draco turned around so he could be hooked up, but before he could get ascended up, Voldemort grabbed a knife from the counter and broke the chains, "I show no mercy for those who can't respect those above!"

He quickly grabbed Ron by his long wet locks and held the knife against his throat, quickly slicing it. Ron woke for split second, gasped, then passed out again as I scream from horror. 

"Ron-" I choked on my tears and the death eater let me go when Voldemort gestured. I sobbed and stared at the ground as my insides ripped each other apart out of grief. 

Draco slowly backed up and stared at Ron's lifeless body. 

Voldemort slowly kneeled in front of me, grabbed my hair, and narrowed his eyes, "You continue to get in my way before I've decided I want you dead, you're gonna end up like Ron, or worse, Draco is, or that Granger fellow. It's not the same war as last time. I know you better Potter. It's a long term strategy game. It's chess."

He then stood and sat on his knees beside Ron, "check..and mate.”

Little does he know I've been playing chess my whole life. Literally. 

A piece of me just died witnessing that. Deep down I felt that piece leave with Ron. 

"Come back, and you don't want to know what'll happen next." The boy from Hogwarts whispered as him and Voldemort walked off. 

One last time I looked over to Sirius, who watched me ruin myself, sob like a pussy, and then finally turned and followed Voldemort into the other room. 

Draco pulled his wand out and must've told Pansy and Hermione we have to go because seconds later he was back and then kneeled beside me, "We need to go."

I tensed and shoved him away, "Don't touch me! Don't fucking touch me! You were gonna leave me too."

He frowned slightly and watched Hermione come running through the doors with Pansy and saw Ron, stopping dead in her tracks and moments later collapsing in front of his lifeless body. 

That makes two of us. 

Pansy and Draco grabbed the opposites–Pansy grabs me and Draco grabs Hermione–along with Ron, and we all went back to Hogwarts. 

Easy to say that I hid in a corner and ignored everyone. I zoned everything out. I stared emptily. I felt empty. My chest was in so much pain, it was physical but felt mental. It was terrible. 

I was suffering. There. I fucking said it. And I don't deserve it. I admit. I will feel bad for myself just this fucking once. 

-

Hogwarts was packed this time. There were kids everywhere. A lot decided to come back and it gives me anxiety. I liked it better when the halls were empty. 

When we got there, we were down by Hagrid's house. Pansy was trying her best to comfort me, but I wouldn't even make eye contact. It wasn't because I needed her to be concerned, or wanted anyone to be. I just felt dead inside. I felt so empty, like I couldn't even feel the pain of losing Ron. My chest was tight and my head was spinning, my eyes were practically bloodshot. 

We walked through the halls and got many stares, but I hardly noticed them. Pansy and Draco were walking us up to Snape's office. 

I shrugged off Pansy's arm and started walking ahead of them. I didn't want to be near any of them except Hermione. 

No, I wasn't mad at Draco or Pansy, but I needed to feel something that my body would allow, and that was anger. I needed someone to blame, and I just got mad at Draco for volunteering to hop on the train out of my life. 

And I know I shouldn't care whether he leaves or not. We agreed it wasn't serious or meant anything. I'm very aware of this. But I didn't want him to leave. 

We all entered the room and I fell down to the air mattress and ignored Pansy and Draco furiously whispering back and forward while Hermione laid beside me. 

"I can't feel anything." She whispered, glancing at me as I continued staring up. "I hate feeling this."

The feeling was familiar, I get too attached to people that are bound to get killed because of me. That's why I'm scared about being with Draco. It can't happen- hell, we've agreed it won't have any romantic attachment, just sexual. 

Suddenly, Pansy zipped Malfoy up and slowly walked to Hermione, "Let's head down to the room, I'll make you some tea, okay? We'll figure this out." 

Hermione stared into her eyes weakly as she helped her up and they slowly made their way out of the room. 

Draco was just pacing back and forward, trying to think of what to say. 

As he did that my patience slowly faded and I snapped up, "Stop pacing for Christ sake! I can't think."

He stopped with a hand on his mouth and just sighed and plopped beside me. "You shouldn't be thinking."

"I can't mourn him-"

"Not until the war is over, Harry."

I just looked away, "You were ready to fucking leave me too, like a pathetic twit. I don't know why I let myself get attached."

"I was willing to make a sacrifice so Ron could stay, so you had your best friend. Take it how you will but I'll fucking assure you I won't ever do something like that for anyone else."

My eyes slowly landed on him and when we made eye contact, I slowly started losing control and my lips formed into an ugly frown as the tears threatened to spill harshly. I couldn't breathe, I was just so upset about Ron. 

Draco frowned at the sight and pulled my head into his chest, "I'm so sorry this happened."

I tried to pull myself together but I ended up laying my head on his lap and sobbing into his stomach. He slowly pulled my glasses off my face and ran his fingers through my hair. 

He continued and then forced a smile, "We're gonna fix this."

There's nothing to fix. But I didn't correct him, I just sniffled and quickly wiped my tears, "I just..need to be alone."

"I think that's the last thing you need-"

I lifted my head all of a sudden and stared, "I need to be alone."

He shook his head, "So you can do something reckless or suicidal? No, I told you I'm not going-"

"You aren't my keeper, Draco! We mean nothing. So just fucking go. I can't look at you." 

"How the hell are you breaking up with me when we aren't together." He only scoffed when I looked away and stormed out the door. 

Left again? Yeah, I told him to, but it still hurts. 

I just sighed and immediately stood up to grab my coat. The second his name was far on my marauders map, I took my wand and left to London. 

Awhile back, on a spring break, I met this one guy. He was in the mob, and I don't necessarily mess with that stuff, but I took his contact. 

He gave me an address. It was a little bit before the battle of Hogwarts, I considered getting some shit from him, like explosives, but I never went through with it. I didn't want to stoop that low. 

But Voldemort, Sirius, they've given me no choice. I was being reckless and suicidal, what's new?

Once I reached the garage to a motorcycle repair shop, I slowly walked forward, trying to spot the man I remember as Costin, but I only received stares from the employees. 

"Costin Walts?" 

They pointed to the back desk and I confidently made my way back, seeing him sitting comfortably with some part for a motorcycle. 

He looked up when he saw my leather jacket, I guess out of curiosity and then smiled creepily, "Harry Potter, that guy that is supposedly at war with a noseless Barney. I thought you'd stop by."

I didn't even know what a Barney is. 

"Yeah, been awhile. Need some explosives."

"Got cash?"

I reached into my inside pocket and pulled out an envelope, "As soon as I can get it, please."

Costin counted the money and then nodded, "Follow me, kid."

Costin walked towards the back exit, which lead to an alleyway. There was a big white truck in the back and he opened it after unlocking it, revealing plenty of explosives. 

"Which ones are gonna blow up an entire property filled with at least a couple hundred guys?"

He raised an eyebrow and slowly pointed to some tiny looking ball, "This lil guy. Everyone underestimates him, but he's perfect for what you're describing." 

I just nodded, "Theres an open field a few blocks down, let me test one?" 

Costin nodded and I started walking off. Once I reached the corner I quickly used my wand and went to the open field, pressing the button labeled 'Boom, bitch'. Costin has a weird personality, whether what he's selling is considered professional or not, he always cracks a joke, even if it's dark like blowing up hundreds. Yeah. I try not to think about it. 

I threw the bomb and once it was far, it took thirty seconds to explode. The flames grew high, and it created a wide circle that reached me, and I was seventy feet away from it. The grass was burnt into a perfect circle and it left a big indent in the ground. 

Mm, say it again I'm close. I felt a little insane buying this and going through with it, but war is war. 

I quickly went back to Costin who was gathering as many as my money could get me and handed it to me, "Beautiful, huh?"

I just nodded, dumbfounded. It was. I shoved them into my backpack and held my hand out, "Thanks, mate."

He extended his hand, "Come back around if that prick survives. He's killing my business everyone's scared to leave their homes. Free of charge." 

We both smirked slightly and I agreed to his terms, walking off with the explosives. I had the coordinates memorized and quickly hid behind a trash can so a couple walking by wouldn't see me just disappear. 

When I opened my eyes, I was stood in front of the house Ron just died in. It's been a few hours since the incident. But I'm not hesitating.

I always had my cloak on me, it was in my coat pocket and I wrapped it around me as I went closer to the house, setting a few of the devices on the edge of the house. I climbed to the roof using the gutter from earlier and set some up there, climbing through the same window and roaming around and placing some in the rooms. I got to the room where I witnessed Ron die. His blood was still on the floor. 

It left me dumbfounded, I still wanted to curl up because it made me sick, extremely sick. My stomach ties into a knot every time I think about it. 

So, I pushed myself to set another down. Nobody was really around, it confused me, but I want to assume they're all in some big room celebrating. That sounds like something they'd do after murdering the enemies best friend. 

I walked down the stairs, to see a whole ass room, that was just as big as the great hall, with them all drinking and eating. Sirius was still wearing his hood, and he was focusing. 

My eyes averted and I slowly walked down the hall, continuing past the room they were in until I reached the dungeons. 

At least ten kids were all in there. Only one was conscious. 

My eyes widened, did Hermione and Pansy not get them all??!

I quickly rushed to the cell from the one girl who was conscious, I didn't recognize her, which means she must be one of the kids in Hogwarts that just tries to get by without drama. Those are the ones I never pay attention to. 

She weakly looked up and her eyes widened, "Harry Potter..?"

I nodded as I fumbled with the lock, but it didn't budge. 

She coughed, "I thought you died...? I heard Draco Malfoy sacrifice himself for you but voldemort changed his mind-"

"That wasn't me. It was my best friend-"

"Ron Weasley..?"

I paused with the lock for a moment, then just gave a stern nod as I backed up with my wand, pointing it at the lock. 

"I'm blowing this place up. I need you to help get all these kids out. Can you do that?"

She nodded and slowly stood onto her feet, she had a limp even. This girl was way younger, couldn't have been at Hogwarts for that long. She was about maybe thirteen, fourteen, giving it my best guess? She was a light-skinned black girl, quite a beautiful girl too, her hair was frizzy with dirt spread across both her skin and clothes. 

Soon, the lock overheated and popped off the cell and to the floor, and I quickly pulled the door open. 

"My names Casper." She limped my way and pointed to the right, "All our things are under that table."

I turned around to see the plastic table, there was a bin filled with wands and extra things like phones and shoes. 

"Do you know how to..use a portkey?" I pulled the bin from the table and took all the wands out, grabbing an empty bag and shoving them all in, Casper grabbing hers before I could, and then she shrugged, "Yeah.."

"Can you do what a portkey does with just your wand?"

"Like teleport!?" 

"Yeah, I guess." I stared up at her and she just nodded, "I did it when my dad was trying to hurt my mom. He was drunk, I panicked. I don't know how I did it though."

I slowly nodded. She was young if she'd just admit that. Something tragic usually never gets talked about the older you get, you just become overly insecure about the tragedy. 

"You'll get it down, I'll help you get the first five outside, I'll do the spell, but you'll need to continue the rest by yourself. I have family in here that I've gotta save." 

"You have a family..?" She awkwardly took the bag of wands and stared at me, when I just bit my lip and avoided her eyes, "He's not blood. But part of me hopes he's who he claims to be. I can't blow him up. So come on, we only have fifteen minutes."

She nodded and we burnt off all the other locks, me taking two at a time, and Casper only managing one. I touched our feet together and closed my eyes, struggling. 

Once we were outside, Casper looked around. It was beautiful out here, and we're lucky we caught London on one of its nice weather days, otherwise I don't know what'd I do, none of them have coats, just their Hogwarts robes. 

"This is where you need to get them, this exact spot. I'll help you with one more, and you'll do the rest, okay? Do not come back for me. You stay here and I'll find you." 

Casper nodded and grabbed my hand, taking us back to the cell. She beamed when we arrived and I smiled slightly, nodding her way. 

I let go of her and ran into the next cell where two were being held and grabbed ones arm, but Casper shook her head, "I can do both, get the other cell."

Instead of arguing because she was slightly struggling, I just rushed to get the other two and we quickly set them down on the grass. I turned to Casper as she set the two girls down and kneeled in front of her, "There's two more. I need you to get them, and immediately leave. I'll be back in ten minutes. Go, now."

She nervously nodded and left within seconds. I glanced at the people on the ground and made sure all were breathing before going back into the cells, where Casper was dragging them out to readjust them when she left. 

"Good luck, Harry." She nodded and I nodded back, watching as I rushed off to the hall. 

I put my cloak back on and rushed all the way to the front, where Sirius, Voldemort, and McGonagall's inside guy are. 

The back wall had a little stage like feature, where you could go behind it and like prepare, you know? I went back there, and glanced at the surroundings. 

There was a big metal garage shelving system that looked promising. It had a few rooms scattered on it and three boxes. So, I quickly went behind it and shoved it forward until it fell and caused a loud sound of clashing metal colliding with the floor. 

The three of them glanced back and Voldemort eyes Sirius, "Check it, both of you."

The two obeyed and quickly got up, the one Hogwarts kid coming in first. They turned the corner and walked further back, investigating the metals. 

I waited until any sounds of struggle would be muffled to Voldemort, and threw my cloak off, pulling a knife out and stabbing the kid from Hogwarts in his chest, where his heart is. 

I stared him in the eyes as well, using my free hand to cover his mouth. 

Sirius only watched with shocked eyes, but he said nothing. 

The boy stared at me, like he wanted to beg me to stop, but when I pulled the knife out, his eyes shut immediately and his body went limp, from bleeding out immediately. 

I looked at Sirius, "Sidney McGonagall's inside guy was this kid. She warned him we were coming, he told Voldemort. That's why Ron died. Because this kid."

"How would you know?"

"I pieced it together when McGonagall tries everything in her power to stop us."

Sirius pulled his hood and mask off and stared, coldly, "You didn't have to kill him."

"You didn't have to stand there and do nothing while Ron died."

"I- I told you, Harry! If you get caught, I would not save you. I told you what to expect, don't you dare turn the blame on me."

He did say that, I remember. 

My only reaction I was capable of was a cold stare, "You need to go, now, I can't let you stay."

"No, Voldemort will get sus-"

"Fuck Voldemort!" I raised my voice and he jumped, the two of us hoping Voldemort didn't hear. I exhale slowly, "I'm not the kid everyone wants me to be. I've spent my entire life saving you pricks that can't return the favor. And here I am, doing it again. Despite how mentally damaged I am, I always come through. I should let you burn for not returning it."

"Why would you say such a thing..?" Sirius asked, genuinely guilty. But he managed to hold his blankness. 

I didn't respond until my cold stare hit him and he got a little uncomfortable, "You..let Ron die. Don't expect anything more from me after this."

"After what-"

Suddenly I heard an explosion from upstairs and my eyes widened. I quickly grabbed his arm and left, just as the flames were about to consume us. 

We both fell to the ground, where Casper sat weakly among the others, some were awake now, but most unconscious still. 

Sirius stared with wide eyes as the entire property blew up into flames. I watched a war either end or begin. Perspective. 

"What the hell did you just-"

"Voldemort made his move killing Ron to get to me. This is my move. Long term strategy isn't always gonna work out for some. One mistake..and boom." No pun intended. I smiled slightly at the sight, but Sirius jumped to his feet, "Who the hell are you anymore?! How far are you willing to stoop to get back at Voldemort?! His level?? Gosh, Harry, oh my gosh. I can't believe-"

"War changes you." Casper whispered as she watched the flames. 

Exactly. It does. 

"Losing Ron..was what brought me to this. He was my rock. I mustn't worry about my goddamn humanity in a war, Sirius. Almost got myself killed for trying to save you when I could've just fled. Don't question my plays when I'm leading this war. I saved your life, and I shouldn't have. You let Ron die."

"And you knew I would!"

"Do whatever you want, I've got to go get these kids to medical at Hogwarts, because you stood by while they got tortured." I gestured behind me and told Casper to let the conscious kids get their wands out of the bag. 

I told them to grab either one or two kids, whatever they could handle, and then grab either mine or Casper's hand. They were all weak, Casper was the strongest, seeing as she was the only conscious one for awhile. 

We all joined hands and I took everyone back to Hogwarts medical wing. 

The nurse gasped at us all, but I set my guy down on a bed, "Voldemort was holding them captive." I mumbled while walking out. 

"Wait! Harry!" Casper yelled. I stopped, turning. I didn't want to, but I would feel bad if I didn't. 

"Thanks." She said, giving me a nod. 

I didn't respond, only giving her a smile, and stormed back off. 

Game on, Voldemort. Game on. 

~


	14. Chapter 14

I was hiding out in my room, ignoring the stares I received from all my roommates returning. It's been a day since the explosion, not once have I slept, ate, or even interacted with someone. 

It's not that what I did bothers me, it's more Ron. My eyes were bloodshot, because the lack of sleep. I didn't care. I stared straight ahead of me to doze off, because if I didn't I'd think about Ron and would have a terrible breakdown. 

When Neville got up, he set a bottle of water on my table, forcing a smile when I watched him. He knew I wasn't moving from my bed, he could tell something was wrong. 

I ignored his smile as he walked off and glanced at the bottle of water, seeing Ron's bed. My chest tightened and I stared until I let a sob out, pulling my knees to my chest and rocking, "I can't fucking believe this-"

My breathing got more intense and I almost started hyperventilating, "This is my fault. He's dead because of me."

God, I couldn't even remember what my last words were with him. Or the last time I told him I loved him. Oh my god. 

My thoughts were spinning and I sobbed even harder into my knees. 

I didn't care that my roommates were staring, I didn't care that they could hear me. 

Or the fact that one had a mini tv under his bed and would pull it out to watch the news every morning. I could hear the story about an explosion, and what appears to be a wild fire in the forest. 

Wild fire..in London. Sure. 

"Police are still investigating but there has been speculation it was caused by an explosion. We'll know more about it-" 

I stopped sobbing and looked up for a minute, standing and walking over and sitting beside him, ignoring his stare. 

It showed flames on a bunch of trees. It filled the entire sky with a black cloud of smoke, it's been nonstop on fire for over twenty-four hours. 

Then, I realized what this meant. I was gonna get questioned any minute if it's on the news. 

"Awh, shit.." I mumbled, and started back towards my bed but then, I heard someone storming through the door with a phone, pointing it at me, it being the same news channel my roommate was on. 

"What the fuck did you do, Harry?"

I watched the phone lower to reveal Draco, who I realized was there because I recognized his voice. I straightened my posture, "Check..and mate." I mocked Voldemort's words and collapsed onto my bed, laughing. 

Draco scoffed, "Don't you tell me this was you. Was this you?!!! Harry-"

"Don't fucking try and give me a lecture like you have the authority to. We aren't together." I snorted, realizing I said that in front of my roommates. "Oh! I'm sorry," I sat up and stared at one of my roommates, whose name was Colton, and laughed, "Did I forget to mention I was fucking this prick?!! Yeah, give me that stare all you want. Judging prick-"

(Half of my old roommates decided finishing school elsewhere was more appropriate than at Hogwarts. All things considered, I don't blame them.) 

"Harry-" Draco slouched and furrowed his eyebrows, grabbing my chin but I shoved him off me, "Don't touch me asshole-"

He grabbed my chin again and looked me in the eyes, "Are you drunk?"

I laughed again, "What are you gonna do if I say yes?"

He rolled his eyes and grabbed my arm, dragging me towards the door as I protested, slurring on my words. 

So what I'm drunk? I think enough has happened for me to have an excuse as to why I decided to start drinking. 

"So you fucking blow up an entire house full of death eaters, hundreds! And even our own people inside and you just come back and drink? You don't come back from something so cold, Harry! You can't be that heartless-"

"Who are you to tell me what I need to be?!" I shoved him off me and lazily put my finger on his chest, "You're the heartless one. Trying to sacrifice yourself, killing your own father, bullying me my whole life-"

He angrily grabbed my wrist and I yelled in pain–faked pain–but he covered my mouth so people in the hallway would ignore us, but him dragging me away was kind of the reason everyone stared. 

"You'd be dead if I didn't kill my father. Ron would be alive if I got to sacrifice myself and you wouldn't have"–he opened Snape's offices' door and shoved me inside and slammed it–"blown up a fucking house and killed hundreds of people. That's insanely low, you know that?"

"You aren't my boyfriend!" I yelled, my eyes tearing, "Stop pretending you're my bloody keeper!"

"No!" He yelled back, smashing the coffee machine buttons angrily, "Whether I'm your keeper or not I'm here to keep you in check. Things have been falling apart and you think I'm gonna let you fall apart with them?! I made a promise. And if I was the one who died to send you a message, you wouldn't have blown up a fucking house and reached a new low."

I took the coffee mug he offered me and sipped it angrily, "I would've done the same thing for you."

"Please tell me you didn't kill our people in that explosion.." he sat beside me as I continued sipping the coffee to get sober and I just shrugged, "They're in medical."

He sighed what I hope was relief and stared up for a moment, "Why'd you do it..? Blow up the house. You set an entire forest on fire and it's still going. If it reaches houses you just killed more than just death eaters-"

"It won't. And I sent Voldemort my message. It was my turn. Either-"

"Either you ended this war, or made it worse than it was gonna be. You can't be heartless-"

"I have to be! Otherwise you're gonna end up like Ron. I won't let that happen."

Draco leaned back at my harsh tone and pinched his face together out of annoyance. He then softened his expression and made eye contact, intense eye contact, "I'm afraid you aren't gonna come out of this war the same. I don't want you to lose what makes you you. You are the most..self-righteous guy I've met, you're stubborn but you'll do anything to save anyone, I admire that side of you. I don't want to see that side of you gone because you've lost more than you can handle. So please just confide in me, I will help you through th-"

"You aren't my boyfriend. You made it very clear we aren't a thing. So quit trying to fix me. I'm not broken! I don't need to be fixed. I did it because he'd be least expecting it. They were celebrating you know, Ron's death. I ended it. I-"

"You killed Sirius."

My expression went blank, as I stared at him. "You really think I'm that far gone? That I'd let my only family die in something I caused?"

"He isn't your only family."

"Oh, so you're my family now?" 

Draco didn't answer and watched as I stood up and set the coffee down, "Leave me alone, don't look at me, don't talk to me, don't think about me. Same with Pansy. I said it was over and I meant it."

He didn't let me walk off and grabbed me, pulling me backwards, "You're drunk, and being reckless. Lay your stupid suicidal ass down and sleep it off. Now."

He literally sat on top of me so I couldn't stand and after a few tries, I finally crossed my arms and pouted. 

It wasn't long before I gave up on my stubbornness and fell asleep.

-

When I woke up, my head was pounding. I couldn't even open my eyes, I just curled up and groaned. There was no light shining in this room, yet it was so bright. I felt hyper-sensitive. 

Draco rolled his eyes and cast some spell that caused the light from the window ceiling to shine the opposite way, then he threw a bottle of pills at me, "Did you mean anything you said?"

I opened my eyes ever so slightly and saw him at the edge of the bed, he had pulled up a chair to watch me. Kind of creepy, but I can appreciate the concern, if I was allowed to that is. 

"What did I say?" I tried to read the pills but it was blurry. I realized my glasses weren't on and were on the desk behind Draco. He had took them off, and then stripped me to my boxers. 

You know, usually I'd tease him for acting like a goddamn husband, but I'm fuming right now. Which means no, I'm not gonna joke around about it. 

Instead of questioning him, I just took two pills and swallowed them, squishing my face together when my head didn't react well to me swallowing. I groaned again and fell down. 

Draco took a minute to respond, but he finally crossed his arms, "That you don't want me around. That we aren't together."

"We aren't." I mumbled, "And face it, do you honestly think you and I are a good idea- you know what? No, we aren't having this conversation when my head is fucking pounding."

"I've sacrificed so much for you. Why do you think I stick around you anymore?! Do I look like the type of guy to fucking wait around for you to get your shit together? Have you met me?" He didn't raise his voice because he was being cautious of my headache, but his words caused me to open my eyes. "I don't care what you've sacrificed for me, Draco. I've sacrificed everything for you too. And I might've just solved a war with barely any casualties-"

"Blowing up hundreds isn't a casualty. It's cruel, and vile. Harry Potter stoops to Voldemort's level, that's a headline we're gonna see this year. Or better yet? 'Harry Potter goes to Azkaban' because that's another article we're gonna see." He snorted as I finally gave him something other than a blank expression and glared. 

"Draco, listen to me, I'm going to spell it out for you." We made harsh eye contact, but only he seemed angry, "We cannot be boyfriends. We aren't gonna marry, he'll it's not like we could in the first place. You wanted this first, I've accepted it, your turn. We can't hookup, because you're just getting attached. Can't get attached. Knowing how stubborn Voldemort is this war isn't over, I just leveled the playing field. Okay?"

I stood up to try and leave, gathering my clothes and practically stumbling towards the door because I couldn't keep my balance, but he stopped me. 

"Before we went on that rescue mission,"

My head turned back and I let my curiosity get the best of me. 

"I used my magic to stop time, so you and I could talk. Figure out where that address was from Sirius so we could save Ron." He averted his eyes, "You asked me not to leave your side. Made me promise. You told me you loved me, because you knew you weren't gonna remember it. You knew someone was going to die walking into that. You're blaming me for Ron. But I'm not gonna let you lose what potential family you have left." 

"You're talking about you, huh?" I just dropped my clothes to my feet and awkwardly held my own hands in front of me, "It doesn't sound like something I'd do."

"We do shit when we're afraid we'll lose one another. Like confess that. I said it back, you know."

"Draco Malfoy told me he loved me?"

He just snorted, "Mm, and then a day later, I'm told 'go fuck yourself' basically. It's my fault. That I don't have a chance with you." Draco stood up and walked closer, "I risked everything getting involved with you, deciding I loved you- hell it wasn't even a choice! When I realized I did, I knew it was suicidal as hell but I decided it was worth it! Because loving you made me a better person, made me realize having something as special as this in my life is worth the risk, and now it's suddenly gone? So if you're just trying to protect me, cut the shit, I can handle it."

I noticed his eyes welling up slightly, because he was fighting back the tears hard. 

Although I felt guilty, I knew we can't date. 

"It's not our time, Draco. War gets people killed. It has casualties. You will not be one of those casualties. It's not worth risking your life over."

That was a lie, I knew in my book, it was indeed worth risking our lives over. But I couldn't. 

With that I walked out, to go find more booze. 

Ron died, and all I hear is how booze are the escape from reality. So, yeah, get a little drunk, handle it just fine. 

"It's not really handling it." Sirius mumbled. 

He was speed-walking beside me, clearly in my head and accessing my thoughts because I allow him to. I have faith he's still my Sirius. And not Voldemort's. 

"I'm fine, thanks for the concern."

"Voldemort isn't dead."

I immediately stopped and turned to him, "How the fuck did he survive th-"

"Dark magic. Tons of charms. Though he's extremely weak. Wondering why I'm not. You might've blown my cover, Harry."

I only scoffed in response, "Seems like you're enjoying the land of the living, appreciate that instead of complaining dickwad-"

"I just came to let you know, that was a smart move. You knocked out the majority of his army. He's officially outnumbered. It was heartless, but there's worse ways to get the job done."

My body forced me to walk off, otherwise I'd think about what I did and I'd break down before I'm even drunk. Not happening. 

"And what you're doing with Draco, that's dumb. Pushing him away is gonna push him into someone else's arms. It's rare to fall in love you idiot. Don't push him away." 

"I'm handling everything just find, Sirius. Go kiss Voldemort's ass instead of mine. Unlike you, I'm someone to rely on no matter what. Let that sink in, hard."

With that, I shut him out on my own as I continued walking towards the teachers lounge. It was mainly just hidden booze but I've found out that someone's been sneaking here at three in the morning to drink, with my map. When they're in the kitchen that late I'm just assuming it's for a drink. My theory was right because that's where I found the booze. 

I was old enough to buy it, just didn't have the energy to. Only energy I had was lifting the bottle to my lips. That's about it. 

Instead of just pouring the alcohol into a non-transparent cup, I took the whole bottle. Professors shouldn't even be drinking at Hogwarts so consider this a personal favor.

I think maybe I'm just being a little too harsh with Draco. He said it himself! We can't be together. At first I knew I wanted to, but watching him just willing to sacrifice himself for me made me realize, that's always gonna be a thing. He's always gonna put me before himself. 

Like okay, so look at it this way, I'm being heartless and reckless, I'm drinking to pretend I'm not losing everything good about me. 

It's always been a fear of mine that I'd come out at the other end of this tunnel as the bad guy. I'm starting to think I'm just allowing myself to be a step closer. 

As I stumbled down the halls after I finished off the bottle, I started towards Hermione's room, to see what she was doing. I wanted to check on her. I haven't seen her or how she's holding up after all this. 

But the second I started in the direction, I completely tripped over my shoe laces and fell, giggling as I rolled and stared up. 

There was some kid, he was blurry. I never grabbed my glasses, I couldn't see him. 

"The hell are you doing drunk at ten in the morning?" 

I recognized that voice. It was Blaise. I raised my eyebrows and curled, "Mm, Blaise-y boy! How're ya?"

"Draco-"

"Enough about Draco." I rolled and stood up and started walking back towards the direction I came in. I needed my glasses. 

"He told me to check on you because you're being an idiot."

I snorted at his words and nonetheless continued walking. I didn't want to hear it. It is what it is and it's done! That's that!

"Look at me, prick!" He raised his voice and I jumped, getting forced to turn his way. "Draco has never loved someone as much as he does you! I've known him since I was a kid, Potter! You have something good with him, and if you continue blowing it off and being a dick, I swear to god-"

"You'll what? Hm?" I raised an eyebrow and he didn't answer, "When he dies because he was protecting me, who're you gonna blame? Me? Right? Exactly, so piss off, Blaise. I'm protecting him."

"You're being a pussy. You're scared. Don't pretend you're protecting him when you just can't stand the thought of being gay, with him, during probably Hogwarts darkest moments. Get over it. You're a gay man, stop pretending you aren't. You love him."

"I don't." I spat as I continued walking but this time, he shoved me against the wall and pointed, "Go talk to him, get sober, and quit hurting him. You'll regret it the second he decides its over, he won't hesitate to move on. I've seen how he handles stuff. And it's really simple, he doesn't. Don't test me Potter, he's a better person than you think. He doesn't deserve this."

Blaise pushes off me and walks back with a few others I couldn't quite make out. 

Instead of taking his words to heart, I brushed it off and continued up the stairs. 

He was just looking out for Draco. Same as me. I get it. 

And I lied, I know I love him. So you can imagine why it hurts for me to have to push him away. 

After I saw him almost sacrifice himself–what I felt when I saw him volunteer to protect me because he knew I'd be ruined over Ron–I knew that I had to push him away. So he'd keep his life. 

That feeling has stuck with me these past days, all I can think when it's not foggy in my head is how my heart sank when Draco almost got himself killed for me. 

Not like Ron didn't hurt, because fucking hell it does and I can't cope nor process any of it, losing Draco would've hurt more. I've developed strong emotions for him, a unbreakable bond, I love him and I never thought that'd be possible, so please just understand why I push him away now. It's safer. He won't sacrifice himself. 

I stood outside Snape's door and pinched my face together, "Let this go well please."

When I twisted the knob slowly but stopped when I heard a thump and then a crash. My heart kind of started beating out of my chest and I pushed the door open. 

My eyes widened and I felt my chest twist. 

It was Draco, over some guy. The two were completely naked. 

I had only been gone for like twenty-five minutes!

When Draco noticed me, he didn't stop, he just made eye contact. It was so blank, he looked away when the guy moaned loudly, "Yes! Fucking harder. Do it!"

Draco clearly wasn't enjoying it. I almost cringed at his words. 

But I was more panicked and hurt. 

Quickly without a second thought, I stumbled outside the door and panicked as I left, the only thing I managed was grabbing my glasses from the side table and leaving. 

Everything became a little blurry, I was so rushed but my brain was foggy and I couldn't see where I was going. 

When I reached the stairs, my foot missed the step and I started tumbling down, until I hit the wall, then things went dark and I couldn't see. I couldn't think. 

It was black. 

-

I could hear voices. They were distant, and a little muffled. 

But I tried my hardest to open my eyes, but all I saw was a bright light and black figures above me, arguing. 

When I finally let my eyes focus on the figures, I saw the outline of Draco and Hermione, and their voices slowly came into focus as well. Things weren't as foggy when I started sitting up. 

"You couldn't even have waited an hour?! I know he's been pushing you away but he saw you try to sacrifice yourself for him! How's that gonna make him want to stay with you when he knows it's just a matter of time until we're in a similar situation! You're such a bloody idiot, Draco."

"He said we were done! I needed to blow off steam! I don't fucking get it!"

"Just because you were done didn't mean the feelings went away. Men are so stupid!"

"Because you would know."

I stared at Draco for a moment. It reminded me of that first time we hooked up where there was a golden outline around him, from the window ceiling, making him look like an angel. 

But it wasn't long before I looked over to Hermione because she realized I was conscious. 

"Harry! Oh my gosh-"

"Voice- loud." I grunted as I tried to sit up. The two backed up slightly to give me space and I glanced at Draco as he avoided eye contact. 

"What happened?" I looked back to Hermione and she grabbed my hand, "Draco said he's gonna call Pansy down to check on you, said she can't do anything until you were conscious. Her mum was a nurse. You were unconscious in the hall. This kid found you and brought you up here-"

"Granger-" Draco spat but when I eyed him he stopped and bit his tongue. 

She chuckled, harshly, "Yeah, because we're gonna refrain from talking about your heartless ass hooking up with someone because you got pushed away-"

Draco just stood from his chair and started towards the door, "He's awake, Pansy will be down soon. I'm out."

When the door shut I frowned deeply and Hermione grabbed my hand, "I wouldn't take it too personally. I don't think he knows how to handle being protected. How to handle heartbreak."

I just laughed, "Yeah, because we were ever a thing to begin with. I shouldn't have to protect him. It shouldn't have hurt to see him fucking some twink. But it hurts, so much. Why did I push him away? I'm an idiot."

She squeezed my hand, "Woah! Wait listen, Harry, you can't blame yourself. You thought you were doing what was right. He just thought he needed to move on right away. It's how he needed to cope, or thought of the only thing that could help him cope. He went back to meaningless sex, because he couldn't have your love. Where he comes from, I'm sure he didn't mean it to hurt you. He must've just thought it's meaningless, whereas you took it more to heart."

"You're just putting it nicely," I sniffled and bit my lip, "What happened was I decided we can't be together. Yeah, I saw him try and put my feelings first, which almost got him killed, he hates Ron but he would've let himself trade places so I didn't hurt, which means he thought I didn't care. I'm sure me pushing him away added to that insecurity. And so when I walk in, he just thinks 'we're done, it doesn't matter, he didn't care about me so this isn't a big deal if he finds out' but he said I fucking told him I loved him. Wanna know the best part? I can't even remember it."

"Then let him be there to remind you. It's not too late."

"This isn't something I'm gonna just get through. Say, we get back together, make it official, and we're fucking one day, and huh, I just think, 'has he been tested lately' that's not something I want to worry about, Hermione."

She just smiled weakly and placed a hand on my cheek, "Love will choose where you guys go. Don't put any thought into it. It'll just happen. And if not, you get to experience a normal people problem; heartbreak.

I just snorted and shook my head as she laughed with me, but the door opened and we stopped thinking it was Draco again, but it was Pansy with a box filled with supplies. 

Hermione cleared her throat and stood, grabbing my glasses off the desk, "Figured you couldn't see. He's all yours, P."

"P? What you two have nicknames now?" I furrowed my eyebrows, as if I were jealous. I just wouldn't be able to look at Pansy if I were Hermione, Ron just died. I'd feel guilty. 

Pansy grinned as she pulled a flashlight out, "Would you like one? I was thinking..'lord v...valium' since I guess that's the direction you might be going in."

Hermione made a warning sound and Pansy backs off, nodding. 

When she finished, she diagnosed me with a minor concussion. I didn't bother wasting my energy on her. 

Not sure I had any to begin with. I've never felt this foggy and..bleh..in my whole life. So I don't know honestly. 

Once Hermione stayed with me for an hour to see how I was holding up, she left with Pansy and I laid back down. At this point I was wide awake. I just stared at a wall, until I heard the door open. I didn't have to glance behind me to know it was Draco. I could tell by his footsteps, they were hesitant. 

"You really fucked someone else?" I mumbled, without turning back. 

He simply sighed, "I don't see why you're all freaking out. We were done, you pushed me away every time, you didn't give in once. Did you expect me to wait around for this to end before i decide to get down on one knee? I'm not waiting just because you're afraid to be who you are."

How did everyone just guess that this was all partly because I'm scared to be gay?!! Is it really transparent? I've never brought it up. 

Finally I looked at him, "Did I actually say I love you or is that some story you told to get me to stay?"

"You told me before..we left for the rescue mission. I'm fucking sorry I was willing to sacrifice myself, okay? Is that all I have to say?"

"No, because that's a pathetic apology. We can't be together, but I expect you not to fuck other people-"

"How can you even ask that of m-"

I raised an eyebrow and he stopped, giving a silent 'ohhh' and nodding. 

I knew Sirius was watching. He was trying to hide. But I felt him present. He was back with Voldemort if he knows he's alive. 

Voldemort might be listening too. 

"It's over. Okay you dick? Go fuck whoever. We were never in love. It was an act. Something to keep me distracted. But I have to have my priorities straight and if that means cutting you off so nobody else in this school dies? Then so be it."

"Yeah, so be it huh? You're pathetic, Potter." He walked over to a candle and lit it with his wand and a simple fire spell. 

As it lit and the smoke rose up into the room, I felt Sirius' presence fade and I glanced to the corner I thought he was in, but he was gone. 

"Visiting still?"

I shook my head in response. 

I watch him as he walks closer, "So we can't be a thing, not boyfriends, no attachments, just sex? And no fucking anyone else?"

As he tried to lean over me, I scoffed and pushed him away, "No. Think I'd let you fuck me after you fucked the std invested arse? Nah. I'm still mad at you."

"I'm horny." He mumbled and slouched. 

I ignored him and pointed at the candle, "You had an anti-visiting candle sitting there all this time and didn't tell me? It feels like someone's tearing layers of my brain at a time when I'm fighting Voldemort in my head."

He clicked his tongue and started towards the door, "I'm sorry I tried to sacrifice myself. But if this is truly nothing anymore, ima go fuck someone else."

"Hey-" 

Draco laughed slightly and shut the door, "Thought we were over? Hm?"

"I didn't say you couldn't use a condom."

"Mm," he just nodded, "Lovely offer, but I'm still mad about you pushing me away as harsh as you could. Might take a hard-on or two to get to help me get over it."

"Draco-"

"Bye, love."

He walked off and I went to chase after him, he was gone. I quickly went down the stairs and saw him turn a corner. I walked quickly but the moment I turned the corner, my eyes grew wide and I realized it was McGonagall. 

"How many people did you kill?!!" 

"Wait- Draco?"

"He's in my office. Answer the question!"

She had to pull me aside I'm assuming because she isn't necessarily in the right here, hence why I'm not in a room full of council members deciding whether I need to serve time, suspension, or expulsion. She wasn't allowed to send a kid into Voldemort's diseased children collection. 

So I never even saw Draco?! It's been McGonagall this whole time? Bloody hell. Of course it's not him, he wouldn't, with how much I pushed him away. He must feel like I deserved to feel his hurt. 

"I got the job done. War never ends without casualties-"

"Those are innocent lives you're talking about, Potter!" Her voice became scratchy from being so angry, "Their lives are not counted as casualties. Whether they followed Voldemort or not, they were innocent!"

"Considering I've spent my entire life trying to stay alive because they all try to kill me, I'll say they aren't innocent."

She clenched her teeth, her jaw too, and then glared harshly, "You aren't in charge of this war-"

"I'm the reason Hogwarts isn't back where it started, destroyed. There would be even more lives lost."

"I should have you expelled-"

"I should have you fired! You got Ron killed by letting your inside man tell Voldemort-"

"You killed my son. That was my son, bastard!"

I just rolled my eyes, turning away, "Tell the council about what I did to help us survive and I'll tell them about your girlfriend staying on school grounds. She's a muggle, and she doesn't belong here."

Sidney scoffed but I held my hands up like I didn't care. She grabbed my shoulder, "She belongs here-"

I just shrugged and walked off ignoring her. I didn't care that I killed her son. That's harsh, trust me I know. But nothing inside me felt bad about it. He tipped Voldemort off because Sidney tipped her son off and that's why Voldemort caught us with Ron.

I started towards Draco's room. It was obvious Sidney lies about Draco being in her office. She knew he's been avoiding me, so I assume she used some old spell to clone him, and trick me. Or the famous polyjuice potion. Meaning she knows more than we think. 

If she was a straight woman I wouldn't trust her one bit with the information she has about Draco and I, but she was trans, and gay. So it worked for me. 

His room was empty, the last of his roommates left as I neared the door, so I slid inside, seeing him laying on his bed, juggling balls with magic. 

Once he noticed me, he gave a bored expression and continued juggling them. They floated in the air, just spinning in a juggling motion. It was cool, but I didn't have the energy to acknowledge something like that. 

"Done being a prick?"

I chuckled, "Yeah, tried to push you away, you 'fucked a guy' and then we got in an argument again."

"Huh?" He sat up, "I didn't fuck anyone else. How low do you think I'm willing to go to be petty? It's not very low. I don't have the energy to deal with your bipolar ass."

"Sidney McGonagall cloned you and got information out of me. I killed her son in the explosions. Her inside guy was her son."

"First off, I doubted her, I never thought she'd be able to make polyjuice potion, but then again she's headmistress. And second, that's off topic." Draco snorted as I walked over and sat at his feet, ignoring the fact that the balls were behind me and he could throw them at me to be a dick if he wanted to. 

"When I thought you fucked someone else, I felt betrayed. And I shouldn't. We aren't boyfriend or girlfriend, ya know? But it hurt like it was more than just a relationship. Pushing you away to protect you is wrong-"

"And trying to protect me is a choice you shouldn't be making. Plus, boyfriend and girlfriend sounds more stable than what we actually are. Not to mention there's no girl in this relationship." He didn't even looked at me, just watching the balls still, "I can handle myself."

I just nodded, awkwardly. He wouldn't look at me, meaning I haven't touched the subject I need to. I was trying to think, but I couldn't. 

"I can't help what I want, okay?" He spit out his words so I'd stop thinking so hard and frowned slightly, "Fucking sucks falling for someone who seems to not give a shit. This is why I've always been so closed off, fucking hate the idea of getting rejected after it's too late."

"You think I don't give a shit?" I almost laughed, but he threw a ball at the back of my head and I groaned, "What the fuck?!!"

"For being a reckless, heartless, definitely not self-righteous dick that you were with explosives yesterday."

"I'm sorry!" I rubbed the back of my neck, and glanced at the two remaining balls and mumbled my words, watching them fall to the ground and watch Draco's expression go from bored to playful, cocky even. 

He just opened his arms and gestured, "Jeez, don't give me that look. Come here."

So, I did. I happily plopped down in his arms with teary eyes. I thought I screwed this up. I thought I screwed up the easy part of us. 

He wrapped an arm around me and held me, resting his chin on my neck, "But I also know that it needed to be done. What was reckless was doing it in name of Ron."

"I did it right after he died. They least expected it. And I know they'll have to make a full recovery before Voldemort even dares striking. Meaning we have about three to four weeks. He might be afraid to continue this." I whispered. I was holding onto his arm with both my hands, just happy to be here with him without an argument or having to keep pushing him away. I liked how easy it was for me to talk to him about something in a romantic area. He's admit he loves me, whether it was direct or to just make a point, which makes this easier for me. 

"We can play husband and wife while we wait for him to make his recovery.." Draco teases and squeezed my boob, grinning. 

Or so he calls them boobs. I prefer pecks, but boobs are more feminine. And it's a little funny to refer to my pecks as boobs. So I'm all for it. 

"Or we just take advantage of him needing to recover and take out the rest and end this so you and I can leave this pathetic excuse of a school."

Draco grinned against my neck so much, and it made me curious as to why, but I didn't say anything. 

"No ones ever picked up words from my vocabulary and used them."

"And that makes you happy?" I chuckled, realizing pathetic excuse for a school was something he's always referred to Hogwarts as. 

He pressed his body closer and licked my earlobe, "Makes me want to marry you. If you love me enough to subconsciously take in my vocabulary, then you're wife material."

I just rolled my eyes playfully but he still continued, "Promise me none of that pushing away crap happens again."

"Promise you won't get yourself killed to spare me heartbreak. I've experienced it my whole life, losing you would just be my breaking point."

"Deal."

"Then deal."

It got silent, and I could just feel Draco's hips and I bit my lip, because I wasn't horny, but my mind just wanted a distraction. 

"So what now?" I mumbled. 

"First, nap, then I'm gonna do something about McGonagall. Tired of her getting involved. Her mum was much sweeter."

"Mm, you gonna threaten her?"

"Maybe."

I smirked, "Make sure go do it in front of me. You threatening people is hot."

"I used to threaten you-"

"Fuck!" I faked a moan, "Don't say it again I'll-"

Once more, I tensed my body up and pretended to orgasm against Draco. He was just giggling behind me and I did a fake sigh, "Yea...you were saying."

"Feeling you fake orgasm is kind of turning me on."

"Quickie?"

"Yeah."

We scurried to our knees and started stripping each other. 

Not once did it occur that his roommates could walk in any second. If they were going to, I think Draco was just gonna let them watch. He seemed so confident in pinning me to the bed butt ass naked that I have to assume he's done such a thing more than once. 

Not reminding myself he sounded like a manwhore before me, but still, heh, at least he's experienced. 

If I'm gonna be real I just want me to be the only person he fucks and risks getting caught with. We're hot together, so I didn't mind that risk right now. 

~


	15. Chapter 15

As I woke up that morning, I realized Draco was still holding me. We ended up taking a longer nap than planned. 

His room was filled with his roommates, and lucky I took my glasses off so I wasn't all that recognizable. 

Turns out, when people know you for your glasses, they don't pay attention to you when they're off. 

The thought of being judged by others kind of still makes me sick, especially for being gay. I wasn't sure how to get over that gut feeling. It's almost like I was ashamed of being me, that I was scared to be gay. I was, and the only time this gut feeling goes away is when I'm with Draco. And that counts for something in my book. 

Classes started up again today, I honestly wasn't sure I wanted to go. This was..different, I can't multitask anymore. How will I balance both leading a war and school. One can get me killed if I slip up, the other can simply result in a minor punishment. 

I slowly got up and slipped out of Draco's arms, trying to be as silent as possible because I was afraid his roommates would comment. It's different when you're the arch nemesis of your lover. You get stares. 

Draco clicked his tongue and held onto my wrist as I stood up, whispering, "No..stay."

"If your roommates weren't gonna blab to this school that we sleep together then maybe I would. Meanwhile, I'm heading to Snape's office, where I can sleep without fearing someone taking a picture of us cuddling and posting it to twitter."

He waved me off and turned the other direction, "Wait!" He turned back, "Take me with. We should skip today."

I reluctantly walked back over to him and grabbed my glasses, then my pants and jacket, and then his hand, using magic to get to Snape's office. I purposely held him up so when we got there, he'd be about two feet above the ground and would fall to the bed. 

I giggled as he widened his eyes when he fell. May be early but I'm still gonna have my fun. Shut up and leave me be. 

"Dick.."

I set my glasses down and wrapped the comforter around me before plopping down on top of Draco, straddling him. He could barely keep his eyes open, but he tried to watch me with as much delight as he could. It wasn't working too well. He was exhausted. 

It was probably only four in the morning. We're only up early because we napped early. Which turned into a fuckin long ass coma or some shit because I'm not sure whether that was twenty four hours or just twelve. 

He placed his hands on my hips and gave a straight smile, "Mind laying the fuck down?"

I did as he said without a word that could spark an argument. I was just as tired. At least here nobody would walk in and think 'wow the school would go nuts for this drama'. 

Anyone who knew we were here wouldn't do such a thing, at least. 

I laid between Draco's legs and we fell back asleep like that. 

Maybe a few more hours pass before I finally got up to stay up. I'm gonna be honest, I wanted to skip. This was my last year and it's not like Hogwarts is gonna get me a good chance to get into college. I don't need to graduate for a future. 

We just use magic to cover up the fact none of us went to a public high school. 

That's how one would get a job. 

I simply sat up slowly and stretched, eyeing Draco from the side before standing upward. 

If I were to go to classes today, all classes for an hour would be about how we need to stay strong during this hard time. Wrong! I need to be figuring out how to keep that confidence accurately safe. 

You can only stay strong if there isn't a constant threat. I'm gonna take down that constant threat. 

I grabbed my glasses off the desk and eyed the room. It was a mess, honestly. 

So much was just scattered. My eyes wandered to that chest from before, and I pursed my lips, staring and feeling drawn until I saw Draco shift, and then I quickly looked away so he wouldn't acknowledge it. 

Then, I grabbed all the books on Snape's desk first, going to the bookshelves and organizing them in alphabetical order. After the desk was clean, I grabbed the papers and books scattered across the floor in tall piles. Once I finished with the books, I pulled my wand out and aimed it at the rugs, using a simple cleaning spell to get all the dirt and shit off the rugs and wood floors, then turning my wand into a duster so I could get the all the wood in the room. 

Once I finally did that, I got near the chest. I stared for a second, but built enough energy to turn away and put my wand away. 

I set my wand down, seeing the room I had just cleaned and smiled slightly to myself, but my wand slowly rolled off the desk. I watched, not even trying to stop it. 

The moment it hit the ground, I just felt like balling my eyes out. My chest started to ache and I just broke down, lazily letting myself sit down on the floor and hide my face. 

I guess maybe..my mind needed to be distracted. And I didn't realize cleaning the room was to distract me from the pain of losing Ron. My wand dropping was what tipped the boat. 

A fucking wand falling is what makes me break down. My life is officially a mess. 

After a few minutes, I widened my eyes to stretch my muscles because my head started to throb and I wiped the tears, sniffling one last time before nodding to myself, with confidence. 

A five minute breakdown is all I have time for. 

I quickly stood, grabbed my wand, grabbed a pair of clothes from my pile I had Hermione drop off awhile ago and started towards the door, but I heard shuffling and glanced behind me. 

Draco was laying with one eye open because the light was in the other. He was curled up with a small smile on his face, watching me, "You running out on me?"

"Was gonna check on Hermione." I murmured, about to twist the door open but Draco shut up, "No if we're..whatever we are, you aren't gonna leave me with dry responses. What's wrong? Talk to me. This shit doesn't work without communication, eh?"

I just frowned, slowly walking towards him, "I lost Ron. I'm just..I don't know. I feel sick, constantly, like the only way I can put myself at ease is keeping busy. Hence why I don't want to talk about it. Just..don't make me talk about it, okay? Your guess is just as good as mine. I don't know."

He reached his hand out and I didn't take it, just pursing my lips. 

Draco scoffed, reaching out further and grabbing my hand himself, which caused me to fall to my knees in front of him because he was low to the ground. 

He squeezed, "Whatever you're going through, it doesn't have to be alone. I know I'm not the easiest to talk to but I've been trying my hardest to be open enough for you to feel comfortable venting to me. I understand your hurt, I'm here, Harry."

I frowned even worse and nodded, "I appreciate you saying that. But it's nothing I can express with words. It's just emotions I can't explain. I-"

"Grief. It's making you feel insane."

"I- yeah.."

He let go of my hand, leaning upward and kissing the side of my cheek, "Go do whatever you wanted to do. Be back here around five."

"Why-"

"Just..be here, Alright? Before I change my mind." Draco's eyes rolled off me as he turned the other way. I grinned slightly and stood with red cheeks. 

Okay, I see. Nice. I started towards Hermione's room after that, but I got there and noticed she wasn't there. 

So, I sent her a text to meet me in the woods (with the new phone Draco and I totally bought and didn't steal with magic) and she responded with 'ten minutes, H xx'.

If I'm honest, I just felt more comfortable seeing her where nobody else is. I've seen her once since all this shit, who knows if she's holding up okay. 

After I do this I really want to get back at McGonagall. What she did was cold, and for what? Information? To get back at me for killing her son? I don't think so. 

We always marked the trees with a piece of chalk, so we could find our meeting spot for a discreet conversation, you know? If it rains we just redo the chalk, really. 

I was walking through the woods with my hands shoved in my pockets. 

We had this specific odd looking tree with four broken stumps, we always meet there because it's just so oddly beautiful and easy. 

It was always surrounded by flowers and the tree was tall, but the leaves draped perfectly, and the sun always shines through them, giving it a perfect look. 

All it needed was a pond and some butterflies, then it'd be considered perfect. 

Once I got there, I just sat down, and watched the leaves rustle with the wind which created a howling noise. 

I've always found this place calming.

It wasn't long before Hermione rushed over and breathlessly greeted me, "Hey."

I immediately stood and wrapped my arms around her before she could even think about sitting down. 

Shocked, she slowly hugged back, "H, you okay?"

"Sirius Black and Voldemort's minds have been connected to mine since Voldemort's return and I've been secretly in contact with Sirius and he could've saved Ron back there he watched as Voldemort killed him and McGonagall convinced everyone Draco fucked someone else when really all that happened between Draco and I was me pushing him away until I realized how bad it hurt to lose him like that so now we're..not arguing anymore and I can't even grieve Ron and it's driving me insane-"

"Harry!" She pushed back and placed a hand on my cheek, "Calm yourself, okay? Grief does that.."

She let go and stepped back as the two of us sat next to each other. 

"I spent three hours stress organizing Snape's office until it was spotless and my wand fell and then I had a minor breakdown and texted you. I feel like I'm not stable or summat. It's.."

"Scary? I've been so happy with Pansy lately I just haven't had time to feel terrible about Ron, and that makes me feel terrible. My boyfriend died, I should be sad, and I am, I feel empty, but Pansy has just been there and I just smile when I see her."

I get that. I really do. But I'm just more torn about it I guess because if I were in her shoes, Pansy would be the distraction for me. When she wouldn't be around, then I'd be drowning in my thoughts. 

I just sighed and crossed my legs, "I was the one who..bombed London."

The news hasn't announced it was an act of war, from Voldemort exposing us, subtly. 

She furrowed her eyebrows, "You did what!?"

My eyes stayed low and I shrugged because what was I supposed to say? I'm not proud of it. But it was necessary. Ron can't die in vain. Not on my watch. "I bombed Voldemort. They were celebrating, Hermione! They sat down with drinks and all raised a glass to Voldemort weakening the enemy. So I blew them up. Ron didn't deserve what happened. He died because of me. I had to do something."

"As your best and probably only friend, I want to say that was reckless, and completely utterly foolish, but as a fellow soldier in this war I think something excessively reckless had to be done. It shows confidence, we needed that win." Her hand brushed over mine and she frowned, "Just don't do something like that again. I don't want to see you turn into someone nobody–even yourself–recognizes. Okay?"

I nodded and pulled my hand back, smiling at her. She was always so good at understanding why I did it. She doesn't try to lecture me and I like that. Hermione keeps an open mind, it's probably the sweetest thing I've ever had with a friend. 

"So..Pansy, huh?" I raised an eyebrow and she rolled her eyes with a cute giggle, "No, we're starting with you. Draco? How's that?"

"The usual, can't be with him without putting him in danger, but I was to kiss him till my lips are numb or just be around him when it's practically impossible. I'm just scared. It feels like he should be a distraction but he's far from it. It's tricky."

She just nodded, "What's to stop you two? What's really stopping you? Voldemort? When did he say you can't be together? And since when does Voldemort get what he wants?" 

I furrowed my eyebrows, "Hermione...you know why Draco and I can't-"

"No! Don't even finish that. You deserve to have an epic love, just because you're at war with this prick doesn't mean you can't."

"H, listen, he'll kill Draco if I date him."

"He'll kill you either way. Both of you. So seize the moment and go tell him you're gonna get married or summat, I don't know. You act as if you won't be putting him in danger if you leave him but leaving him would result in recklessness, not to mention he'd still be in danger, with or without you."

I know this is all very true and is my motivational speech that Hermione gives me when I'm doubting I deserve happiness. 

I...can’t even marry a guy, so. 

She stared at me, like she was so righteous in this moment. But I didn't want to respond. I was afraid to say the reason, kind of give her an argument. 

Hermione raised her eyebrows because she expected a response. 

So, I coughed and looked at my feet, quietly saying, "I'm afraid of what I'm gonna feel when he dies. It's gonna hurt, bad. Worse than Ron. It's different than it was with Ron. I can't handle losing Draco. And if I'm losing him, I'm gonna make it so I have nothing to lose. Meaning-"

"Seize the moment?"

"Meaning..I need to leave him. He just-"

Hermione scoffed, "He lost his parents, watched you lose Ron, is absolutely terrified of Voldemort and what's gonna happen at the end of this, and your solution is leaving the kid? He's scared. Last I checked you put him at ease. And leaving him to spare you heartbreak is selfish, not to mention that's like going to drink and get drunk but you decide not to drink to avoid the hangover. It doesn't work that way. So go get him, this isn't up for discussion you two need each other."

"Sometimes needing someone is dangerous-"

"Get that sappy bullshit out of here you twit, go!" She pointed behind her and my eyes widened, then she spat another 'go, now!' and I scurried on to my feet away from her.

I was hesitant walking back to Hogwarts. Hermione would kill me if I wasn't selfish just once. She knows I won't let myself have something good and that's why she's pushing so hard. 

The moment I came face to face with the hallway to the door of Snape's office, I glanced down at my phone and it was around three. 

One option was I could just avoid putting any label on us, and ignore what Hermione told me to do. 

My palms were all clammed up from my nerves. It's weird because Draco and I have an established..thing going yet really establishing us and giving it a label scares me. I'm curious how that works. 

I quickly shook off my anxiety and jogged in place for two seconds, breathing deep, "It's simple, 'I like you, let's make it official'. No- ew, that's too straight forward." 

With one more deep breath I quickly opened the door and stumbled in, only to see the room was empty.

There were a few candles lit, but that was it. I figured Draco must've forgot to blow them out so I did it myself and walked towards the big rope to the curtains and pulled down so it let some light in. 

Only one window was actually easily in reach, you know, near the floor. It leads to the roof, a flat part of the roof. 

Nobody knew about the window until I stress cleaned it all. It was buried behind stacks and stacks of books.

I walked over to open the curtains, but I heard the knob turn and turned back around in front of the door. 

Draco came in, only a towel around his waist, a bag of crisps in his mouth. He dropped the crisps and caught it with his hands, walking in, "We have another window?"

"Found it this morning." I watched him set the bag down and drop the towel, grabbed a pair of clothes and smugly ignoring my avoided eyes. 

Hey, look, I've seen it all before but I'm afraid if I keep looking this'll end in a different way. 

He pulled his jeans over his boxers and zipped them after buttoning, "I thought you were meeting Hermione."

"I did..then she..pressured me to leave and find you." 

"Oh?" He pulled his shirt over his head and walked over to the window, grinning. I watched him unlock the hatch and pull it up, then kicking the screen out of place and it landed outside. 

"I think we need to talk." I nervously fumbled with my own fingers, but then he kicked a foot outside and stood on the roof. "That might not be sturdy what-"

"Relax, control freak, come on." He extended his hand and I paused. Then, I took it and he dragged me onto the flat roof with him. 

I reluctantly took a few steps toward the edge with Draco, watching my feet and listening carefully for any creaking noises that would indicate danger, but there were none. 

Draco sat down with his feet over the edge and I couldn't help but just stare at him. 

You can't blame me for thinking this is something the old Draco would take advantage of. This is how he'd murder me. What if it was all just some evil plot?!!??

But, I knew it wasn't a plot when he smiled. I just trusted him enough to know the differences in his body language. 

I carefully sat next to him and felt the adrenaline rush through my body when I sat with my feet over the edge. 

We were just so high up, a good three hundred feet off the ground. Below us was the black lake, or at least it almost was. 

My eyes found all the mountains surrounding us, from all angles. It was so beautiful, it's like my heart reacted by stopping so I could breathe in the fresh air and see this. 

It reminded me of how I once felt, the day Hagrid showed us a Hippogriff. When I got to ride one over the lake. It was the day I finally felt freedom, like there wasn't some heavy weight over my shoulders, or the raincloud over my head dispersed. It made me feel something life in general just can't. 

I smiled wide, looking over to Draco. 

He made me feel that. That sense of being alive, free, being next to him makes me feel that. 

It was an even more intense feeling, because I was with him and this view gave me that same sense the hippogriff ride did. 

He smiled back at me, I could tell he felt it too, seeing his eyes. 

Draco never smiled like that, not with us, not without us. He's never smiled that wide, to the point his eyes crinkle. I don't want to say it's fondness, it's that sense of freedom, he gets to feel it too, it's rare I've learned, don't take it for granted when you feel it. 

I looked at his lips and his eyes, smiling slightly more and then looking back at the view. 

It almost felt as if it was never sunny here, I've come to learn that it's our usual weather, and I kind of love it. 

America is just always sunshine and rainbows, hollywood, racist presidents, blah blah blah, it's just almost so perfect yet nobody pays attention to its ugliness. Then you look at London and you think 'it's ugly over there, no wonder British people are so pale' but I could say the same for America. Land of the free? Imagine living in a society where you'd shun the human race because they aren't the same as you..

The wizarding world would never do that, except for the occasional mudblood haters. But the ministry allows them. 

I feel an unnecessary beef with muggles and Americans, to be honest. 

"What do you want to talk about?" Draco's eyes found mine after a cloud covered what there was left of sunlight shining through and waited until my eyes met his before giving a half smile. 

I shrugged, "Hermione just..made me realize something. About us. She thinks I should have one epic love. At least, you know, before Voldemort kills me? And that made me realize, with or without you I'm gonna die."

"You aren't-"

"Draco, I am. My past is going to catch up with me one day and when that day comes I'm ready, but it doesn't mean I have to avoid any human contact, or attachments?"

He frowned, and looked away. 

"This was honestly pretty unexpected.." I gestured between the two of us and returned the frown Draco gave me, "But, I want to make the most of it. Have an epic love that I don't regret. All I know is you're here, I'm here, and there's feelings, somewhere in this mess, and I don't want to take that for granted."

Draco was stern, staring out in front of us, not necessarily avoiding a response but he was putting it off. 

"I don't want to live my life afraid of losing you, and you just leave me without closure, only for yourself." 

"I know, it's selfish if I did. I can't help it if I do though," I looked out at the same mountains his eyes were glued on. 

Then, he looked at me, "If we did this, you need to stay alive, not because you're 'the boy who lived' more than once, or because this school would be devastated, or because you have a war to win, I need you to stay alive for me."–my head snapped towards him–"And I know I've been putting behind that selfishness since you and I..you know, but one last time I'm gonna be selfish. I need you to stay alive for me." 

"What if I can't fight whatever tries to kill me?"

"You're Harry Potter, you owe it to me to try." 

I'm afraid if this conversation continued I'd cry. He was right, if we did this I can't accept the fact I will die before my time, I need to fight it. Because yeah, I owe him that. 

A soft smile tugged at my lips and I grabbed Draco's hand as I pressed our lips together, giving him a short sweet kiss, that barely involved any movement. 

It was short for us, because we usually full on make out. 

He moves his lips against mine and readjusted his hand onto my cheek, pulling away a moment later. I watched him lick his lips, savoring the flavor of my lips and this moment. 

My smile has yet to fade and we both looked back out at the view. 

A sense of an ardent longing, as for something lost. That's what I used to feel. And I hope to never feel it again. 

Now? It's a sense of..awareness, being there in the moment, feeling every bone in your body just dance and give your body a break. Freedom. A sense of freedom and happiness. That's what he's done in my life, it's how he's impacted my life. 

I just forgot about all that I've lost and enjoyed what's in front of me, what's on the table. Lord, I hope this feeling never fades. 

-

After awhile, I was dragged back inside because Draco told me to come back in an hour. 

I guess that whole 'meet me at five' thing was a legit plan. 

So, I left and took a shower, and when I got out, there was a neatly folded shirt on the bench outside the shower I was in. 

When I looked up there was a tux, and pants hung on the curtain rod, with a note on top of the white shirt, reading 'put me on :)'. It was in his handwriting, and when I set the paper down and picked up the white shirt, the paper crumbled and folded into a butterfly, made of paper, the same paper obviously. 

I get that reference. Can't say that gesture didn't make me smile at the thought. 

I quickly put everything on and let my hair dry on its own, which only resulted in it naturally curling. Usually I used a spell to straight my hair, but I looked in the mirror and I don't know, the whole curly hair thing really looked well in a tux. 

I nodded to myself and glanced over at the doorway, seeing the paper butterfly waiting for me. 

It went down the hall, and up the stairs, all the way to Snape's office. I stood outside the door, completely dumbfounded. What even was the point of dressing me up if we were doing something here?

Honestly the gesture left me dumbfounded, not by curiosity. 

I turned the knob. 

This isn't Snape's office. 

The second I opened it, I heard jazz music, glasses clinking, and dishes crashing together from the back kitchen. There were distant voices, all mumbled together. 

Once I've processed this my eyes land on the man in the middle of all this, at a table with a white cover. There was wine, and two plates set up with a candle in the middle. 

I melted when I saw his fluffy hair, he was adorable. 

You could tell he really tried to look presentable, but gave up and hoped for the best after awhile. 

This was an entire restaurant, way bigger than Snape's room. 

I walk forward and the door immediately closes behind me, and I go to sit down, but a man behind me scoots my chair in for me and I blush slightly. 

Draco took a sharp breath and grinned, "I-"

"It's classy." I grinned, glancing at the wine. 

He sighed relief, "Well..I hope so, considering that's what I was aiming for. Since we're giving us a shot, I figured a date is a necessity."

A man came back with a dish and put steak on my plate, with a mix of veggies and a salad on the side. 

"I ordered, I hope you don't mind."

No, I don't mind. What I'm wondering is how the hell did he know exactly what I would've ordered if I got the choice to.

"It's perfect," I only smiled softly as he watched me, "I've never seen your hair like this, it suits you."

"It's naturally curly, I just never let it curl." 

He nodded, sipping his wine. 

"It's odd," I grabbed my silverware, "seeing you try to impress me, without a hint of attitude, or banter. It almost feels fake."

"Would you prefer snarky over sweet?"

"If that's who you are by heart then yes, I would."

He exhaled, "Good, because I bloody feel like I'm gonna start saying things like 'pardon' or 'excuse me, sir'. Horrid." 

I giggled at his genuine relieved expression and continued cutting the steak, "You really went all out. Some fancy restaurant? The whole tux, the note, that was a plus. I give you extra points for that."

"This is a restaurant in America, actually. And the note I hoped would remind you of awhile ago, like that one time I gave you that note where I teased you?"

"Yeah, I quite remember being flirted with but it being masked behind a joking manner that was meant to make me wonder 'do my glasses really suit me or should I be worried'. I was insecure that entire bloody day you prick."

"Well, I was flirting. And your glasses do suit you." He chuckled, "Plus, you look good in a suit, the note was supposed to reflect the time I said your glasses looked good on you. Remind you that I've been channeling my attraction in an unhealthy way and I've finally won??" 

I just nodded with a smug grin, "That's a lie, you hated me."

"I hated you." Draco agreed and we both chuckled quietly as he held his wine, raising it to me and chugging it down. 

My fondness faded after a moment and I did the same, and we flagged down the waiter so he could refill our drinks. 

Once he was done, I looked at Draco, "So American restaurant, let me take a guess, either A; you aren't paying, or B; you somehow convinced them to let you pay in pounds. And this is America, full of assholes, so A?"

"A." He nodded and we laughed again, but this time I stopped to admire his dimples. He was cute, I've never really thought about that. Hot, sure. Sexy? Hell yes. Cute? I've never thought that before but he definitely is. 

"So either we're running out of here or using magic, which is it?" 

"Magic all the way, baby." 

I cocked an eyebrow and sipped my wine again. Draco did the same and we started eating our food, not really having to get to know each other like your average couple on a first date would. 

We have nothing to learn. Though, a silence isn't a good sign on a first date, this was comfortable and fine. 

But I felt like our first date needed to be more eventful than silence. 

"So, McGonagall," I set my fork down and raised an eyebrow at Draco who finished chewing, "We need to do something about her."

"What'd she do again?"

"She tipped off her son and that's what got Ron killed. Then pretended to be you and broke my heart when I was pushing you away." 

He laughed slightly, "We'll do something about her tipping off Voldemort. Pretending to be me fucking someone was something you deserved because it put you in line. And you killed her son. She had to do something."

"Okay, fair enough." I fumbled with my steak, "For the record...we aren't supposed to fuck other people right? I mean like now that we're together we just fuck each other?"

"Christ, yes, do you not know how relationships work??"

I shrugged, "Never been in a serious one, or had parents to represent what a relationship looks like. Just some crackheads."

"Speaking of, I should really get you to try crack, it's great you'll love it-"

He stopped when I glared playfully, then held his hands up in defeat, "What about pot?"

"What's that do?"

Draco nodded, "You..get high, but you're just more in your thoughts when you are. It feels good. You feel aware yet high off your ass and things are slower which is-"

"Isn't that what Americans are fighting to get legalized?"

"Yeah."

"Mm, so it's pretty normal?"

"Mhm,"

"And if I say yes you'll never ask me to do crack again."

"Sure."

I just nodded, and that was that. He smiled at me, and it was a little weird. Draco just hasn't openly expressed how he feels and this whole date just shows how he cares and it's just really affecting me, in a good way though. 

My emotions are all over the place if I'm honest. 

"So, do you genuinely not know the rules?"

I furrowed my eyebrows and then it clicked, he was referring to a relationship. "Not really, other than commitment."

"Well, you don't cheat, no porn without me I consider it cheating if I'm not jerking off with you, stay away from that Ginny chick you ghosted her and there never really was closure-"

"Oh my god," I interrupted, my jaw dropping as did my fork. I almost teared up, "Ginny. Nobody told her about Ron."

We hadn't buried him yet, we cloaked his body at a hospital morgue, because we needed to have a funeral which couldn't happen in the middle of a war. It'd be dumb, considering Voldemort would just end up bombing everyone who shows up or summat. Too risky. 

Draco frowned slightly, "We'll tell her this weekend, take her to the morgue and let her get some closure. Okay?"

"She's gonna hate me." I whispered, "She'll blame me for not protecting him. I ghosted her, she has every reason to hate me and it'll just add to the blame! Oh my god." 

Suddenly Draco reached over and held my hand, "She'll understand. Ron trusted you, he died believing in your legacy."

"I don't want to have a legacy."

"Babe, you've got one whether you want it or not." He sipped more of his wine and gestured at mine, I just nodded nervously and let go of him to gulp it all down, wobbling slightly while I tried to focus my eyes. 

The wine wasn't strong, I've just had a lot. 

He waved down the waiter again and he seemed slightly annoyed when seeing a tipsy Draco call him over, but nonetheless brought the bottle back, but this time Draco stopped him, "Just leave it."

The waiter nodded, "Of course, sir."

He faked a smile and when he turned around he dropped it, causing Draco and I to giggle like little kids. 

A little time passes and we've had a lot more wine than either of us truly intended. 

"He hates us!" I laughed until I couldn't see because my eyes were so shut. Draco giggles too, "Wait until he finds out we aren't paying our bill."

I laughed even more to the point my stomach clenched and nothing came out of my mouth, despite laughing hard. It was the same for Draco, we both gasped for air in sync. 

Funny thing is..it wasn't even that funny but somehow being tipsy made this funny to me.

The laughing died down and we were silent for a moment, as I admired the classical aesthetic this restaurant had. The Jazz was so pretty, and there was a cute black woman singing beautifully. 

This reminded me of a time in the 1900s. I kind of loved it. Before the 1990s. 

"Desert?" The waiter came back and noticed our plates were practically empty but the two of us made eye contact, but I bit my lip as Draco gave a smug smile, "Uh..you know what? I think we kind of had something else in mind for desert. Just bring the bill, sir. Thank you."

I cocked an eyebrow and the waiter eyes us, and almost scoffs, but forced a smile, "Sure."

Draco waited until he disappeared in the back room before standing up. He intertwined our hands and I giggled as we tried to rush past a crowd of people, they looked as if they were meeting for business, but we had to wait until they sat down, and as we reached the door, another big crowd stands there. 

Eager, I just push Draco against the wall softly while we wait and kiss him, I might add I was tipsy and would never have this confidence sober. 

He chuckled, "Keep it in your pants for two seconds then-"

"Two seconds is so long." I whispered, breathing heavily against him and he just smiled as he reconnected our lips. 

But suddenly, I hear someone mutter 'that's absolutely disgusting' and I break apart from Draco, looking for a pair of eyes until I meet with a middle aged white man with an absolutely terrible hairline and a stomach practically hanging over the table. I looked over to..his wife, I think, and then back at him. 

"Pardon?" I smile, but it was more of an amused smile. 

"I said that's disgusting."

"What?" I furrowed my brows and then grab Draco's tie, stumbling slightly as I pressed our hips together, "The gay grinding? Kissing?"

"Yes, it's terrible." He wiped his lips with his napkin and finally looked back towards me. 

"Harry quit it-" Draco tried to warn but I let go of him, barely managing to walk to his table without wobbling, and leaned forward, "Is it because you believe in your lord and savor Jesus Christ?"

He didn't respond and looked away, trying to be civil but I snorted, "Because if he were here, don't you think you following his rules would've had you age well? Or be given an acceptable hairline? Not a receding one?"

"Piss off fag."

"Piss off?" I chuckled, straightening my back. I quickly grabbed a glass of red wine from a waiter that was walking past behind me and used magic to make the liquid hover above him, then dropping it all over his white suit, causing everyone around to giggle as Draco stood back with a smirk plastered all over his face. 

I leaned down close to his ear, "You want to tell me to go to hell, right? Satan sends his love, and wants me to tell you to wear some shorts down there, it's hot."

My smirk thickened as his eyes went wide, and I turned back to Draco and tried to refrain from laughing as I wrapped an arm around him. 

"Hey!" A man yelled from behind us and we were quick to realize it was security, and the two of us laughed and said a quick 'oh god' as we ran out the door, immediately slamming it and returning to Snape's office. 

We took this moment to breathe, smiling at each other like idiots and Draco just laughed breathlessly, "Christ, 'Satan sends his love'. The look on his face! He must've thought it was some dark magic witchcraft-"

"Wasn't it?" I laughed with Draco and I straightened myself as I fell onto him, the two of us hitting a wall as we kissed with eagerness. 

Clothes went flying within seconds and I honestly knew in this moment we were gonna be great together. 

That was the first time I didn't feel uncomfortable being gay, in public. It's a major step in my book. 

I'm genuinely enjoying life for once. I'm not afraid or paranoid somethings gonna happen. I'm ready for something to happen. And it's never been that way for me before. 

~


	16. Chapter 16

I woke up to the sound of banging on the door. So loud it was frightening. 

The two of us shot up, and I felt like I collided my forehead into a wall of brick because it was throbbing. That's an understatement. 

How the hell did it get this bad just from wine?

"For Christ sake.." Draco rolled his eyes and stood up to answer it, but I sensed something about what stood behind that door. 

I..don't know how, but it felt odd.

I grabbed Draco's arm, "No wait..it's..not good. I don't know I just feel weird about it."

He furrowed a brow and shook his head, "It's fine, love. I'll get you some aspirin in a second."

My frown grew stronger with every step he took towards the door and I reached over to the side and grabbed a shirt. 

"You're naked." I mumbled as he reached for the knob. Draco stopped dead in his tracks and then turned, searching for his pile of sweatpants.

I grabbed one and threw it at him, as the knocking slowly got more aggressive. I swear, they were gonna bloody break the door. 

While he opened the door, I quickly slid on my boxers and watched to see who was at the door, but it was a kid I didn't recognize. 

"Ryan.." Draco stared, slowly grabbing a shirt and sliding it on, "I uh..thought you went to a private school in Doncaster.."

I was sensing some tension. 

"Can I come in..please." He had a hint of nervousness in his voice so Draco stepped aside and let him in. 

He walked in and his eyes immediately found me when I stood and Draco shut the door, "Ryan..Ha-"

"Harry bloody Potter," he stared in disbelief, "I..thought you were dead.."

"He was. Twice. First time he lived from the curse and then faked his death so he could have the element of surprise. You didn't stick around to find that one out though." Draco knew this kid well, he seemed a little defensive, like some jealousy was going on. 

I blinked, "Uhm, yeah no," I glanced at Draco, "gonna explain who this is?"

Ryan jumped and shook my hand furiously, "I'm Rode, Drake's brother."

"Drake?" I raised my eyebrows with a stupid smile and looked at Draco, who rolled his eyes. Then I quickly realized what else he said, "Brother?!!? Wait you have a brother and I didn't know this?!!"

"He's my foster brother. It didn't feel worth mentioning." Draco had sat on top of Snape's desk and I crossed my arms, looking at Ryan. 

The two of us waited for him to explain, but he was still dumbfounded from me. 

"Oh.." he nodded, "Right, so my biological parents, they're gone. Draco is the only person I know of who would even know where to start. I'm desperate. Please."

"Wait..I'm gonna need more of a story. Who are you, Rode?"

"Rode Colt. Lucius and Narcissa took me in..my parents went to the drugstore..and never came back. I got put in the foster care system, which sucked, and then..I was a temporary Malfoy, but not literally. Then my biological parents showed and they had all their rights still, so I was forced to go. I used to go to Hogwarts, but they immediately took me out and we moved to America. Now they're gone, I need help looking for them, there was some riot in Doncaster, about the whole Voldemort thing. I think something happened and it's not hard to connect the dots. Draco's the only man I know who can help."

Draco only crossed his arms too, "So when did you start going by Rode and not Ryan?"

"When I came out as non-binary."

"Non-what-inary?"

Rode just stared with annoyance and I jumped in, "They slash them?"

His eyes found mine and he shrugged, "I don't prefer those pronouns, more he slash him, but maybe next week it's she and her. I decide."

"Let me know if you're feeling more of a woman next week then." I winked which made him smile, and then walked to Draco, "So we helping or not."

Draco rubbed my arm, not responding. 

Rode walked to the other side of the room and stared out the window, giving us space. 

"I think we should."

"Getting my foster brother involved when Voldemort is gonna play his turn any moment? Not exactly my definition of fun. I find it selfish."

He noticed my frown and then stared up so he didn't have to see it and I sighed, "He's scared, and alone. His only family is missing. Do you know how terrifying it is having to grow up alone like that??" 

Draco looked down and stared, "Yeah, I get it, Potter. Your life is fucking tragic. But that doesn't change the fact that helping him is gonna get him killed."

My expression thickened and I felt more angry with that response. 

It was clear Rode was only about fourteen..and he seemed worried. He had brown hair, and a structured face. He was quite scrawny, mid puberty I'd say, but a small part of him was very confident. 

We were angry whispering back and forward, but I was lost for words. 

"My life is tragic. Yeah, my parents are dead, I've lived in a closet all my life, literally and figuratively, and there's absolutely nothing I can do about what I've been through or who I am and what the world thinks about it. But what I can do is make sure people don't go through what I did when given the opportunity to prevent it. He probably doesn't even have a bloody wand, and you think he's gonna die with us? What about without us? It was smart coming here." I pushed back slightly after receiving a straight guilt looking expression, and then leaned closer again, "And don't insult me because I understand pain and tragedy. We've all bloody been there, but some haven't yet. If I can prevent that, watch me."

Rode awkwardly stood off to the side and I walked into the opposite corner to cool off, because if I didn't I'd upset Rode with a simple response as to what's going on. Draco suddenly stood up, and he exhaled sharply, "A protest, huh?"

I turned my head in Draco's direction and he just smiled slightly, "Your parents are idiots for even considering going to one involving a crackhead without a nose."

Rode frowned, "My parents put me in the foster care systems, their information would be there-"

"You don't know enough about your parents to give us a lead?" Draco was dumbfounded but I stepped forward and Rode just shrugged, "They were assholes compared to Narcissa and Lucius. I never had any interest in being involved with them."

Draco scoffed, "Yeah because you kissed my fathers bloody arse-"

I stomped his foot and he hissed, looking at me in a questioning manner but Rode ignored it, "I don't know what to do! That's why I came to you. I don't know enough to give you a lead, and it's not my fault they were gone for over half my life."

Instead of protesting, like I expected Draco to in this case, his eyes wandered as he lazily turned his body, pacing slowly with his hands pressed to his lips. 

Rode and I watched for a moment, but I slowly walked over to the boy and placed an arm around him, "You look like you could use a meal and shower. Do you remember Hermione Granger? My best friend?"

"And Ron Weasley." He grinned, proud to be such a good fan for remembering. My smile faded slightly and I started to think about Ron, and his dead body, and Draco wanting to trade places, but I snapped out of it when a floorboard creaked under Draco's pacing foot. 

"You know where to find her?" 

Rode thought for a moment, but nodded, "I think so."

"Explain what's going on and that I said she'd fetch you a meal and show you to the showers. She'll help you. We'll find you once we've figured something out."

Rode nodded and I guided him to the door until it shut, and Draco stopped pacing, "I have to use dark magic. Absolutely no leads, we can't go to the police, if the law enforcements get involved that's just unnecessary deaths piling up. I'm gonna have to fucking invade either Rode's mind and search for clues that aren't bloody there or have to tell him we can't find them."

"No, you don't. We can research the protest and what happened. If people disappeared the news will cover it. They wouldn't miss such a money making opportunity. You don't need to tap deeper into it. You'll lose yourself and I'm here to make sure you don't. We'll find another way, a simpler way." 

"You don't get it, Harry, we aren't Sherlock Holmes, we don't have access to any of that-"

He just angrily sighed and pinched his forehead, "Okay, you know what? We go through Rode's memories, see if there's anything that gives us a lead. He was careless, I'm sure he missed a thing or two."

"I know just how. Dumbledore's pensieve."

"His what?"

"Pensieve."

Draco stared even longer and mumbled 'I'm still lost' but I waved him off and gestured so he'd followed me. 

"It's in his office. C'mon. We gotta hope it's still there."

"Surely it cant be that easy..."

We walked up to his office as quickly as possible, and the second I opened the door, Draco stared, "Okay, it's that easy. What is it?"

"Memories. You can look at them, extract them from ones mind. It's quite brilliant. Dumbledore showed me awhile back, when I was younger, revealed things about Tom Riddle, and all that jazz. We can use it with Rode. No dark magic necessary."

"Do you..even know how to use it?" Draco blinked as he circled it. 

"Yeah, I'll show you."

-

It had been a little over twenty four hours, Draco and I told Rode we were going to contain his memories in empty bottles, so we can look them over if there's any missing pieces he hasn't put together. 

It was mostly to get information we needed, and pray we get a lead. 

Rode took his wand–which we had to buy for him, because his parents took his away without knowing what it was–and extracted all his memories of his parents, from the day they met, to their last day, before the protest.

Draco sat above the bowl, just watching it. We figured out a way to observe them in different ways, so we both could. I'd extract some magic from the pensieve, and then combine it with Rode's memories from three years ago. Draco and I switched off and did every other. 

We were at least fourteen hours in, still nothing but horrid toxicity. 

Rode's parents had forced him to get a girlfriend, on the off chance of him taking interest in boys. I was the one who witnessed that memory. Then there was the memory of them introducing him to a cute perky blonde girl, from their church. 

Rode was asexual, it was kind of clear. There were memories he had with his doctors–with his parents in the room–expressing he's never taken interest in being sexually active, which is either because he's asexual, or just doesn't want anything to do with sex. He was a thirteen year old boy at the time, just hitting puberty, and you're telling me he hasn't thought or even engaged in a sexual conversation or interaction? That's odd, which leads me to consider the asexual possibility. 

Obviously, that doesn't mean he is, it's just a thought I had. I'm trying to be open minded after I found out Draco was gay. I always thought he was straight as can be. 

I glanced over at Draco who was slouched in his chair, almost dozing off from watching all these memories. 

So far, there's only been toxicity and verbal abuse. 

"Anything?" I stared as he turned his head slightly, "No, you?"

"Nope." I looked back at the memories, "Though, there's still no explanation as to why he was in foster care until thirteen. How old is he now?"

"He's sixteen now, I think. Maybe younger, older. It's been awhile. Never really thought about him after he left." 

I waltzed over and sat on the armrest of his chair, "I don't understand why your parents took him in, to be foster parents, why's that?"

He turned sideways and looked up with sad eyes, tired even, and said, "They wanted the check that came with taking in a foster child. My dad wanted the son he never had. He treated me different because everybody always commented on how I was definitely gay, and he took it into consideration, so he got Ryan, a walking jock stereotype. A son he could play catch with without feeling disappointment."

My hand cupped his cheek, "Walking stereotype, huh? Because I think this kid turned out non-binary, asexual, and-"

"Aromantic?"

I furrowed my eyebrows, "Where'd you get that from?"

"He's never even considered dating someone. I know he's young but look at him, all these chicks flirt with him, and he just gets uncomfortable and brushes them off, and even in the conversations with his parents about girls he says he isn't interested in any, and they just say 'you haven't found the right one' but it's just because there is no right one. Even when he was my foster brother he never dated a girl. I teased him for it and he always told me he wasn't interested in people."

My response was a simple shrug and Draco just grabbed my hand, "What am I supposed to tell him when we find his parents dead because Voldemort kidnapped them and they died in the explosion you caused?"

"We don't know that-"

"It's a high possibility."

I let go of his hand and glanced at the memory he was watching play on repeat. Rode's had been in the hospital for trying to attempt suicide after a fight with his parents, saying they didn't care. They did, just in their own twisted way. 

"He's got a sad life, I'll tell you that." Draco mumbled as he turned back to the pensieve. 

Only, I felt a nice break was necessary, so I slowly slid onto his lap, but he sighed as he sat back, "No."

"A break is necessary, how many hours straight and nothing in return?" I leaned forward and kissed his neck, but he leaned his head back, "Harry, making sure this kid doesn't end up homeless is important to me. We can fuck when his parents are back home safe."

"I was just suggesting a b-j, jeez." I chuckled as I stood onto my feet and walked back over to my spot. 

"Wait I'm down for that-"

"No, opportunity missed." I sent him the middle finger and he just smiled slightly as he turned back around. 

As I extracted another memory–one from recently, because past memories weren't cutting it–I heard the door open and looked over to see Rode walking in with two cups of coffee and seeing his memory of the hospital. 

He frowned, "So I guess you're really reading me like a book.."

Draco snorted, "More like a picture book."

"Gif book." I added as I watched the memory appear. This was from not too long ago, the three of them were sat on the couch watching the news about Voldemort invading London when he tried exposing us to arrange the queen to start a war. 

His parents exchanged a shocked glance and Rode watched them nervously, because he knows who Voldemort is. 

My eyes squinted, watching it replay because they looked shocked, like they hadn't expected this, but knew something of it. 

"Hey, Rode, what did your parents say about Voldemort coming to London.." I turned to him as he put his hand in his pocket, handing me a cup of coffee. 

He only shrugged though, leaning against a small side table. 

"They..didn't say much. I didn't either, because they hated the whole 'wizard theory', thinking my foster parents filled my head with crackhead mojo, that they took advantage of a young impressionable mind. Why?"

"You once walked in on them having sex, didn't you?" 

His eyes widened, "Uh- y-yeah..."

I looked through the bottles and found the one I labeled. We were labeling so if we connected a dot, we'd know which to look for, just to confirm our theory. 

"Is this even necessary? I don't want to relive this-"

I watched the door open, and then both turn naked, holding two black robes, wide eyes. Rode covered his eyes with his arm and frantically apologized. 

"They weren't having sex, they were changing."

Draco chuckled from afar, "And...?"

I looked closer and used my wand to pause the memory, pointing at the coat rack slightly behind them and next to the window, "There's black hoods, exactly like the death eaters attire. Look-"

Rode handed Draco his cup and then looked at it, just as close, "You're saying my muggle parents were death eaters?"

"Unless they weren't muggles." I said with confidence. Finally, something. 

Draco's head snapped my way and he coughed, "Why can't we find any memories of you and your parents before the foster system? You should have them, despite not being able to remember."

Rode just laughed, "Yeah, right. Like that has anything to do with-"

"Voldemort hates the wizarding world. Do you honestly think your parents don't? They took your wand, destroyed it, hated that my parents convinced you you're a wizard, they took you out of Hogwarts without argument or questioning what it was. I think we have a lead." Draco stood up and stretched, rushing over to me and kissing my cheek, "Nice, babes."

"Babes?" I raised an eyebrow, "Please do, sir."

Rode rolled his eyes, "Until you have solid evidence-"

"This is a lead, not evidence." Draco looked away from me and went stone cold when his eyes landed on Rode, "Meanwhile, take us to your house, we need to search their rooms. Did you ever go snooping and find something you weren't supposed to?"

"Besides an excessive amount of bloody dildo's- wait not actual bloody dildo's- I didn't mean it that way I just-"

"Rode, focus, think, ever find a cloak? Like a death eater wears during the wars? Their hoods?" I asked.

"No..not that I can think of. They were always so skeptical though, like they hadn't trusted me at all."

Draco chuckled, "Yeah, because they heard your foster family was the Malfoy's. My father was pathetic in Voldemort's eyes. He talked down to him and humiliated him in front of death eaters every chance he got. Voldemort had hope for me, and that was it. Of course they were skeptical, seeing if you developed any characteristics that were familiar with the Malfoy's.."

Rode only sighed, "Fine, just..take me to Doncaster, I'll show you guys where I live, and you can start there. Yeah?"

I pursed my lips when sighing deeply, I mean sleep is irrelevant at this point. 

"Give us a few minutes, I have a feeling we aren't gonna be coming back for awhile. Meet us in the courtyard in twenty." Draco nodded in Rode's direction because he seemed hesitant, and as Rode went to leave, Draco turned to me. 

"We are so not gonna be able to sleep until Voldemort's dead."

"As if that wasn't a known fact." I snorted. 

We exchanged a look and I stood, feel his arm wrap around me as we walked towards the door. 

"We don't have to do this, y'know, it's only beneficial for Rode, and I think we can call it a day by saying they died in the explosion."

I rolled my eyes and stayed quiet for a few moments, "You don't mean that. You care about Rode, even if you want to convince yourself you don't because of jealousy. I know you better than to believe that."

"It's not jealousy. It's envy. He had everything." 

I reached up and intertwined our hands because his was around my shoulder and leaned my head to the side, "Like your dad's respect?"

Draco pauses and immediately lets go of my hand and stops walking. 

"I guess subtly is about all that settles with you." I mumbled as I turned. I was getting a little tired of him feeling insecure telling me such things. Something he's embarrassed about? I want to know. It's not something he has to hide, because it makes him look 'weak' for having insecurities. 

"Wanna talk about how both of us are orphans next?" He shook his head as he started walking and I ran to catch up, "You're seriously gonna be upset about that? As your bloody boyfriend you have to be open to those conversations. Your secrets are my secrets. Your flaws are my flaws. Do you honestly think I judge the fact that your father neglected you? Or that you were a bloody death eater? When have I ever judged you for that?? And have you met me? My life is just as tragic. In what world does shitty parenting result in judgment. That's not your fault."

Draco was still walking until I grabbed his wrist, "You're being a dick."

Finally that had caught his attention and I caused the man to look at me, seeing my annoyance through eye contact, "I'm not..used to having to confide in someone. It's always been hookup, avoid seconds, and no eye contact until they piss off. And it's different now because you had come along, the banter as usual, seeking redemption, and something about your motivation just..made me..have these thoughts like 'what if I just gave in, where would it take me' so that's what I did, I gave in. I'm still figuring this all out."

"Same," a smile tugged at my lips, a very subtle smile, "I honestly don't really even know how relationships work. I was following your lead. But I do know that you can't close yourself off and expect me to be fine with that. Your dad was a dick and he neglected you your entire life and loved a fake son more than he did you, but just because you're insecure does not mean I recognize that as a weakness. What I can say is you don't deserve it, and I'm not here to judge your past shit."

"Okay, I'm sorry. I'll work on it. Can we just pack and get this witty show on the..Rode."

I sent him a playful glare at his pun. 

-

We met up with Rode and immediately left, because avoiding teachers was a smart move. When you look at it, this is a bit odd. Staying on school grounds and avoiding any adult willing to give you an expulsion for breaking plenty of school rules. 

He took us to Doncaster, to his duplex. It was unit two, Draco and I exchanged looks before entering the duplex. It was very rundown, easily could say his parents weren't very wealthy if this is where they had to live. 

No judgement, just if they were gonna take their kid back into this life they obviously didn't care what he did and didn't have. 

Like I'm not judging, but from what I know about them, they constantly neglected him. Why take him back if his life was gonna be shit with them?

And why give him up in the first place? It wasn't because they couldn't provide for him, they would've constantly explained that, and that's something caring parents would do. 

Rode gestured and we walked inside, glancing around, "This is..a shit-hole." Draco looked at all the dust and the crack that was left out on the table, "Christ, you just have drugs laying around?"

Rode ignored him, because Draco pretty much knows this is a casual thing, Rode always argued with his parents about leaving it out when he had friends over. One of his friends was battling a drug addiction, they set him off the deep end one day.

"Their room?" I asked Rode and he nodded, "Yeah, sorry."

He showed us down the hall and to an old door, with a dent from being punched. 

It reeked of cigarettes in here, I might add. 

"How long have they been gone again?"

"Two weeks." 

"Two weeks and it still reeks of cigarettes?" Draco chuckled, "This is horrid."

"I get it, dick. My life was at its peak when I lived under your roof. Piss off and just help me, please?"

I nudged Draco with slight annoyance and he bit his lip, bobbing his head. 

As we entered the room, Draco stopped dead in his tracks and glanced around, but it was like he sensed something. 

Rode and I eyed him suspiciously, as he slowly walked over to their mirror, it was attached to their wall, hovering above the dresser. 

"What is it?" My heart began to race slightly. This whole sketchy 'I sense something' is really weird, seeing Draco be able to sense that. I knew he had this dark side to him, but seeing it versus knowing it's there are two different things. 

It's not necessarily bad, but one should not be able to walk into a room and immediately know what they're looking for. That kind of power in the wrong hands? It's..terrible just thinking about that possibility. 

Draco didn't respond. He walked to the mirror, pulling it off the wall to reveal a big safe behind it, in the wall. 

My eyes widened slightly, and Draco looked to Rode, "Any idea what the password is?"

He ran his fingers through his hair and exhaled, "Uh, maybe 0-5-2-2. Maybe?"

Draco tried it and it buzzed an error noise, turning back to Rode. 

He only shrugged in response. So, Draco pulled his wand out, pointing it to the safe and closing his eyes. He unintentionally pinched his eyebrows together, and his mouth was moving but no words were coming out. 

Rode stared at me, like he expected me to explain, but I only gave him a slight pained frown and shook my head, as in 'don't ask'. 

As it turns out, he realized he didn't want to know and looked away. 

There were two clicks and then a louder one, the safe doing the error noise again. 

He sighed annoyance and pressed his lips into a angered line and grunted, aggressively throwing his arm towards the safe and there was a loud pop, then there was steam and it popped open. 

I jumped at his aggression, staring as his anger faded and he went to the safe, going through everything in it. 

Draco pulled out a paper, turning. 

I straightened my posture and he read it, "Dear Lonnie and Kirsten Misat, miss me? I've got a nice surprise for your loyalty. This is the beginning. Meet me at the following address. Your lord, your savior, Voldemort."

Rode rushed over and grabbed the note, reading it over in disbelief. 

"The address is at a bar near London. Let's get moving." Draco pushes past Rode but he sat on the end, reading it more and more until it finally occurred that this wasn't a joke.

I stopped Draco from continuing and waltzed back over to the safe, pulling out the robes they wore, even the hoods were here. 

"Wherever they are, they aren't working with Voldemort right now." I looked behind things one last time to double check and see if there was anything else that gave us a clue but the rest was just money in a small orange envelope labeled 'gambling'. 

"They sure weren't role models," Draco chuckled but then noticed Rode and he rolled his eyes, "Listen kid, you gotta get over this. It's a minor thing, what did you expect you were gonna find when they disappear for two weeks before the army was all gathered? We all hit a rough patch in life, you just need to get over it. "

He scoffed, "I get it, your life is perfect, and you can rest easy knowing that won't change. But finding out your parents were death eaters? That's different."

I pursed my lips and was looking forward to Draco's response. I expected it to be aggressive, defensive like it was with Pansy when he had to tell her what happened. But it wasn't. 

"Listen..Rode," He got down on his knee's so their heads were the same level and he placed a hand on the kids knee, "Narcissa and Lucius are dead. They were death eaters, in case you missed that when your foster parents took you away. During the battle of Hogwarts, my parents involved me in it. I didn't want to be. Your parents took you out before my parents could involve you. Voldemort is killing anyone who proves to be disloyal. So under your neglectful and horrid parents, they care, somewhat. We'll find them, but you can cope when we're done."

His eyes found Draco's. You could tell he was close to crying, glossy eyes, a deep frown, lines on his forehead. But he nodded, "I didn't know that. I'm sorry."

Draco just nodded in response and stood, "We gotta catch the bus. C'mon."

"You can't just do the teleport-y thing?" Rode dropped the paper and grabbed his bag from between his legs. 

I followed him down the stairs and turn my head toward Rode, "It's called apparition, and he has to recharge every once in awhile. It's takes a lot of energy."

"Wait..that's what it is? I thought it was impossible to do it inside of Hogwarts.."

"It..is, for your average wizard. We had to go to some measures..be advanced so we can save Hogwarts from Voldemort. It's..hard to explain."

"Not really." Draco mumbled, "But it's easier if we don't explain."

I sighed and Rode just shook his head. He didn't get a chance to question us, because when we opened the door, Draco stopped at the sight of a little black girl, with curls upon curls, just sitting on the edge of the step. 

Her head snapped at us and she saw Rode, "Ryan.." 

She pushed past us and hugged Rode so tightly, it caught him off guard. 

He hesitantly hugged back.

Draco pursed his lip, "So..you have a sister too? That you didn't want to tell us about? Or is this your girlfriend? In which case makes you a child predator and I'm gonna melt your bloody face off if that's the case."

Rode glared, "She's my friend. Met her in the foster system, before your parents took me in, she was what I'd consider my sister. Not by blood, but by heart."

"Foster care system, eh?" Draco and I exchanged a look and the girl turns, "Harry Potter! I-" her eyes widen, and she eyes me up and down, in disbelief. 

"Huh!??? Oh wow! Draco Malfoy!" Draco mocked her and I chuckled, nudging him, "Thats how I feel about you, so don't get your panties in a twist.."

He raised an eyebrow and leaned closer, "Is that what you're into?"

"Uh! No! There are children present.." Rode gestured to the two of them and I rolled my eyes playfully. 

She looked at Rode, like she was scared. Meeting me showed a side to her I don't think she's felt in awhile. Excitement. And then it went right back to scared, "My foster parents are just gone, I didn't know where to go."

She was easily eleven, my guess at least. 

Hasn't hit puberty, but probably will soon. 

That's gonna probably be a talk Rode is gonna have to have with her. I snickered, but Rode ignored it, "What about your older brother? He's gone too?"

She nods. 

"Okay, I'm recognizing a pattern." Draco walks up to the girl and kneels, "Have you got a name, love."

"Safia." She smiled at him slightly, "But my friends call me Saf. You can call me Saf."

"Saf..eh? That's a beautiful name. Can you tell me when your parents disappeared?"

"Uh..maybe a week ago."

Rode walks over to me as Draco is getting information and making Safia feel comfortable. I guess she just immediately felt safe by his presence. I know that's how it feels when he's not a dick. You look at him and see his instinct to protect those he's concerned for. 

"She's only ten. What if her parents are death eaters too?"

I smile slightly at the sight of Draco with this little girl. He seemed so happy, like this is what our future could be. If we ever have a kid–adoption obviously–this is what I'd get to see every day. It distracted me so much that there was a long delay in responding to Rode. 

"I'm thinking it's a pattern. I can't say for sure, but I have a theory. Maybe death eaters all foster kids, for Voldemort to convert later on, so his army is never ending."

"You got all that from Saf just showing up?"

"Why? Is it good?"

"Yeah, I think I almost believe it."

We smiled at each other and Draco finally stands, seeing my smile grow wider as I tried hiding my pure fondness. 

He licks his lip and rolls his eyes playfully, "Stop that."

"Stop what?!!"

"Thinking about me with kids. It's pervy."

"Oh come on! You ruined it." I smiled slightly and he stands between the two of us as Saf hugs this worn down kitten plushie she had sitting on top of her duffel bag before. 

"She's gonna have to come with us. I'm not leaving her alone." Rode spat, because he must've thought lowly of Draco. Even I was confused when he said that, just as much as Draco. 

"You'd think I'd leave a minor on the curb in this world? What the hell, Rode."

I rolled my eyes, "She and Rode are minors. They'll have to wait outside while we go to this bar."

Okay, me too?" Draco added, but I reached over and grabbed his hand, "You're passable for an adult. Seventeen? Eighteen? Is there a difference."

He let go of my hand when Saf looked at us, but Rode pushed him aside to argue about something. 

I looked away, and to Safia, who sat on the doorstep still and stared up, "Are we gonna find my parents?"

"Without a doubt, lovely." I walk over and lean down, "You're very brave, wandering these streets. Did you make it here safely?"

She slowly nodded, not getting what I was asking. And I didn't plan on asking more. 

There's predators out there. And anyone who's willing to do something to a ten year old is on my hit-list. 

"Are you and Rode's brother together?" She looked at Draco, as did I while debating how I wanted to answer. 

As it turns out, it's not as complicated as I thought it to be. 

"Malfoy..is my boyfriend."

"Like a girlfriend?" 

"Yeah..just, we're both boys. So we're boyfriends."

She chuckled, "Doesn't that make you gay?"

I raised an eyebrow at her strict question and nodded, "Yes."

"Cool." She smiles slightly and looks over to Rode who's walking back over, "C'mon, sweetie. We've got to go."

Draco steps back in, "We'll get a lead on this bar, it's in London so I expect security camera's somewhere. The busier the city, the more security. Likely resets every month."

Safia stands with the three of us and we're all beginning to walk, until she grabs my hand and walks forward. 

I smile slightly, eyeing the child. 

It definitely settles well with me, a child feeling so safe with someone she's just met. I'm doing something right if she trusts me right away. 

~


	17. Chapter 17

I've never really admit that I'm gay to someone I don't know before. It felt really nice to be able to say it to someone other than Draco or Hermione. 

Safia was young, and if a ten year old child can accept someone, then a fifty year old white dude can too. It's not that difficult. 

As if whoever someone decides to fuck or be naturally attracted to is another person's business. Honestly. 

Especially religious hypocritical pricks. 

Safia held my hand the entire way on the bus, and she even made Draco sit next to Rode just to be by me. I'll admit, it really did warm my heart. 

After awhile, we had got to London, and decided to walk to the bar the rest of the way. It wasn't a long walk anyways. 

I gave Saf my jacket after realizing hers was thin and cotton, so it absorbed the rain. 

It had started drizzling on us, and Safia had forced Rode to carry her the rest of the way. Her feet hurt from walking. 

This gave Draco and I to trail close behind and talk. 

He leans over, "What happens when we find out these people are death eaters and they're back in the foster care system?"

"As if we can do anything about that, D. You have a good heart, but we can't always fix the situation at hand."

Before he can argue, my phone starts to ring and I see it's Hermione's name flashing on my screen. 

"Hello?"

"Hey, Harry, where are ya?"

I glanced ahead of us and snorted, "Here and there, currently in London. I've apparently become a private detective for that Rode kid you met earlier. Why?"

She sighs and I sense her hesitation, repeating myself, "What's wrong?"

"McGonagall hired guards to patrol the school. I think she's paranoid you're gonna try and get back at her for that stunt she pulled."

"I should. But I have a hot blonde watching my every move and a furious courageous brunette on my other side watching me. I know better I guess."

After a short chuckle she then says, "She knows you were staying in Snape's office. I got your guy's stuff and threw them in the corner of my room. They're checking every dorm and anyone who's ever been associated with you. You guys need to hurry!"

Draco stared confused but I look away from him, "Know that one window that's in arms reach in Snape's office? Throw our stuff out on the roof through the window. We'll get it when we're done."

"Okay," she answers, and I can tell she's distracted. I hear another voice and furrow my eyebrows. But Hermione immediately mumbled 'gotta go bye' and ends it on me. 

"Wh- Wait H-" 

The line goes dead and I shove my phone in my pocket as we near the bar. 

"McGonagall hired guards and have them looking for us. They know we were sleeping in Snape's office. When we're done with this we have another situation to deal with." 

"We'll manage." 

I give him a knowing look, because I always manage, but it's never been a 'we'll manage'. I remember like yesterday I was constantly reminding him it's 'we' not 'I'. That's character development, yes sir. 

He opens the bar door and turns at Rode and Safia, "Stand guard. Who knows what this place is to death eaters."

I follow him inside and he walks up to the counter, bartender wiping down a glass, "Hey handsome, what can I help you with?"

It was a woman, somewhere in her twenties, blonde curly short hair, and green eyes. It was clear she was naturally a brunette, her hair was bleach that color. 

"Depends. You ever meet a Lonnie and Kirsten Misat before?" He leans on the counter, and I couldn't help but feel jealous. Flirting with someone for information still annoys me. 

She pursed her lips, trying to think, and sets the glass down, "Doesn't ring much of a bell, kiddo. But I can help you to a drink? Even a handsome detective like yourself deserves a quick break."

I had noticed another man, just sitting there with a large glass of beer in his hand, ignoring us and watching the Telly. 

I walk over and sit on the stool, slightly annoyed but completely rolling with it. Her eyes land on me and then back to Draco, "I'm gonna need to see some ID first though."

"We're not drinking." He stares her down, as if he was giving her a warning look not to judge me. How in the world does Draco look older than me? I-

The lady kind of smiles with a shocked expression, "You know what? I might know a Kirsten Misat, but it's been months since she's visited. Day drinker, alcoholic, wrinkles for days-"

"Sounds like her." I rest my hand on Draco's knee and lean closer, "Tell us anything, please."

"I remember best when I'm tipped.." she eyes both of us and I roll my eyes, landing on Draco with the same annoyance he felt. 

"Any cash on you?" I ask, but he shakes his head. 

"Safia has my jacket," I murmured, starting to get up, but Draco grabs my wrist and pulls me back, giving a short kiss, "I admire you, especially knowing you'd be a great father."

I just raise my eyebrows after he pulls away, "That was sudden."

"I have my priorities straight now. I know what I want."

"At least this is a discussion now rather than later."

"Yeah, what better time and place than here? In front of a nice blonde bartender, on a detective mission. Huh?"

He watched my smug self walk out until the door closes. 

Rode gives a questioning stare as I reach into Saf's pocket to grab my wallet, and then once he clears his throat, I realize he wants to know what happened. 

"Hot bartender wants to be tipped for information about your parents. We're getting there."

With that I rush back in and give the chick my money, Draco and I staring. 

"Kirsten..Misat, bloody lightweight for the amount of alcohol she consumed. You'd think she'd build up a tolerance." The woman says after shoving the cash in her jean pocket. 

"Wrong details."

She pauses, then sighs, "She and her boyfriend were sketchy. Always met here with a guy who always wore a hoodie, every single time, the same light maroon colored hoodie. It's been awhile though. This bar has been practically empty since she stopped showing up."

"Around the time that purple guy showed up?" I asked, and the girl just nods, curiously, "Yeah..hows that connected?"

"Just a hunch." I start to get up, but Draco stops me, "Wait," he turned back to the girl, "is there anything else you can tell us?"

"Just..that..they all had a similar problem. Kids. I always hear them yapping about their kids. If it is connected, you have another clue."

The man I noticed early had quickly got up and rushed to the bathroom, and I couldn't help but feel skeptical. Or at least, my gut was telling me to leave. 

"Thanks bartender chick." I drag Draco out by the hand and he stares me down, "We have no new information, Potter! Why are you making us leave?"

Without a single look, I pointed across the street, "ATM. There's camera's everywhere, D. It's more of a clue than what she told us. We already know this was a potential hide out for death eaters, she just confirmed it. Those camera's will tell us more than what she could've."

He sighs, "One problem. Doesn't footage delete after awhile to save space?"

"Not on ATM camera's. Or at least, ninety days. If someone does something illegal law enforcements and courts will need that footage. Also meaning, they might be on there."

The two of us sigh and look up and across the street, because there were two cameras. "We have magic, but I'm not some advanced professional criminal. How do we look at the footage?" Draco stares at me as if he were awaiting me to explain my master plan, but I walk over to the atm, turning to Rode, "Give me a card to anything."

He hands me a library card and I click a bunch of buttons on the screen, trying to glance around looking suspicious. 

"See that cop at the abandoned building? Get his attention." I murmur. 

Draco looks around and spots him, walking over and saying "Excuse me sir? Sorry to bother. I've just noticed this man at the ATM machine take a young boys card and it seemed suspicious. I figured I should leave it to the authorities.."

The cop thanks Draco and gets in his car quickly, on the phone with someone. 

The boy slowly walks over, "Your plan better be more complex than getting arrested.."

"He's probably asking whoever it is on the phone to review the footage. He can't arrest me without solid evidence without resulting in an unwanted lawsuit."

Draco noticed he set his phone down and started to walk off slowly. 

"Hey! Kid!" The police called out, rushing over and pinning my hands behind my back, "Is he forcing you to take money out of his account?"

Rode's eyes widen, "I uh- Uhh- yea-"

The officer shoved me and I groan, "Hand over the card scum!"

I look at Draco and nod, him pulling his wand out and disabling the surveillance camera, as I slowly hand him the card. 

The officer reads it, "The hell is this, punk."

Quickly, I stomp on the guys foot and Draco kicks the back of his knees in, catching him softly as I swiftly pull my wand out and used the stunning spell–stupefy–to knock him unconscious. 

Rode covered Safia's eyes so she didn't witness the whole image of us jumping a police officer. 

"What the hell are you doing?!" Rode exclaimed. 

"His most recent call has whoever reviewed the ATM footage. Once we find out who and where, we can see your parents and get another clue." Draco holds his thumb up to the thumb print and scrolls through his recent calls, pointing at it. 

"Is that necessary?" Rode asks as Safia watches with entertainment. 

I just nod, pressing call on the number and holding it to my ear. Once the man answers, I deepen my voice to sound all scruffy, like his did. "What's going on with the footage?"

"Matt, it just went out. What happened?"

"This kid and his..friend jumped me. They were professional. I need to build a case for the detective. Can you send me all footage from this month? Bartender here says it's been reoccurring."

"Yeah, I'll leave a hard drive on your desk. You alright?"

I cough, "Fucking kids."

"Tell me about it."

I just..hang up. Not to be rude but my throat hurt, terribly. 

"Maybe if you talk dirty to me in that cop voice I'd let you give more-" Draco started teasingly but Rode yelled, "Safia is right here!!!"

"What-" Safia tried but Rode covered her mouth and glared. 

Only, I smile at Draco, "Search up the nearest police station. That'll be where we go."

He types away at the phone and I lean down next to his unconscious body, pulling out his wallet and eyeing his ID.

"It's five blocks away." Draco murmurs, proceeding to toss the officers phone in the street and grab the wallet from me, taking the cash and then tossing it in the street. 

I stare at him, but he doesn't give a single second of his attention to me. 

"Vamonos, my friends- and Potter, we've got a case to crack." He starts off towards the opposite way, as I slowly stand from the crouching position, "You just robbed the guy,"

He stops and looks at me, "Yeah, and?"

"He's a police officer, Malfoy. If we get caught, the fact that we didn't hurt him will get us off easy, but robbing him won't."

"We won't get caught. Worst case scenario I have to unleash the dark magic and I become a Voldemort 2.0!" He chuckled, but when I didn't his amusement faded, "It was a joke!"

"Yeah yeah, I know." I walk beside him, "Come on Safia, Rode, we're gonna find your parents."

-

After a semi-long walk, we arrive at the police station, plotting outside. 

"There's gotta be some spell to get in. Can't you do that spell that stops time or whatever?" I ask. I'm relying on Draco to make this plan. Because there's absolutely nothing I can do to pull this off. 

He pauses, "I..mean, yes, in theory I can, but what's to guarantee we get in? And then the drive?"

If I show my face, they'll probably recognize it from the footage. When an officer comes out for questioning, you sneak through the door and get the drive then get me. Easy."

"Okay.."

Rode jumps in, "Do you two always plan this type of stuff in your free time?"

"Uh, yeah," Draco rubs the back of his head while rolling his sleeve up, "pretty much. For his reputation he's got quite a Slytherin personality."

I playfully glare and then eye his dark mark. 

He always dressed to hide it, never letting me mention it, acknowledge it I guess I should say. 

Speaking of, he never really did let me figure out a way to get rid of it. 

Sometimes, it makes me wonder, what if I was put into Slytherin house? Would Draco and I have ended up together sooner?

The things that have went down feel like they were meant to, but with Draco, would it have been different? I like to think about it. 

Maybe if I was a Slytherin, I would've paid more attention to Draco, and maybe he wouldn't have been forced into becoming a death eater. I could've done something about it but I didn't. 

Yeah, anyway, we all agreed to the plan and I waltz into the police station, standing in front of the glass and the officer finally looks up, seeing my face, wide eyes. 

"Will! I think this is the guy you were looking for."

I try to look sheepish as they rush out, grabbing my arms and checking me for weapons. I watch the door they came out of stay open for a moment, then a second later Draco walking out, holding the drive up and waving it. 

"He's clear." The woman said, shoving me to the back room. 

Time was basically stopped for Draco, so him going back to present time was just to be cheeky and make me smile. Knowing this made me smile more. 

Suddenly, before the lady could sit down, she freezes, with a terrible facial expression I might add. 

I glance to the only moving person, seeing Draco, "This was a lot easier than I expected."

He sits on the edge of the table and laughs at the lady, "This spell definitely did not do her any justice."

"We broke into a police station, you could be just a little more serious right now." I stand and brush out the wrinkles in my shirt. But Draco just slowly grabs the lady's taser gun from her belt, "What do we have here?"

I glare.

In return he raises an eyebrow, seeing I'm not impressed. 

"Fine," he sets the gun on the table, slowly reaching down and grabbing a pair of keys, slowly lifting handcuffs. 

Draco dangles them in front of me, "A little kinky time for later."

"I am absolutely not wearing those rubbish stolen cuffs while you fuck me. You honestly think I'd resort to that to get off?" Although I was being harsh, Draco tried his best to look hurt, a hand over his heart, "Nobody said they were for you. These are for me. I'm into that."

With a cheeky wink, he blows a kiss my way and I cringe, only slightly, but he stands, "Don't think too much about my hands cuffed behind my back as you're inside me though, won't be able to get rid of that boner for hours."

My eyes follow him out the door, and suddenly, when he is out of sight, I release my breath I didn't even know I was holding and could feel myself slowly getting hard, the longer I stood there. "Fucking Malfoy, Christ."

As I shake my head in disapproval, Draco pops his head around the corner, "I said don't think about it. Not announce it to these inbred step-sibling fuckers."

"You're actually so obnoxious." I cross my arms as we walk out, but he nudged me as we come face to face with Rode. Safia sat a few feet away on a bench, so it was safe to talk. 

"What's with..the taser..and handcuffs..? Did you even get the drive?!" His voice had a big hint of annoyance. 

I shrug, "Yeah, because if stealing classified information from a police station and robbing the officer at the ATM wasn't enough, he also stole a taser gun and handcuffs for selfish reasons."

"Sexy time is not selfish time." He points right at me with such a straight face, I almost laugh.

"And then the excuse for the taser?"

"My personal curiosity."

"Which is?"

"See how many times it takes to overwhelm someone's body with the pain of a taser to the point of unconsciousness."

I take the taser from him, "You're a bloody psychopath."

"Uh, no, I prefer the term sociopath. Give me my taser back."

He tried to reach for it but I throw it across the street and shove him down as police sirens started going off. 

Once the car passes, we stand and sigh in unison, "It's late. Let's get a hotel, and we'll start again at first light."

Rode just nods, calling Safia over. 

-

Draco insisted on separate hotel rooms. You can guess why. 

We tell Rode and Safia to sleep well, or I guess I do while Draco gives Safia a small smile and then goes blank when his eyes met with Rode's. 

He pulls me in the room and leads me to the bed, but I roll my eyes, "No, I'm tired and there's a lot on my mind."

"So let me get it off your mind." He pushes me back into the bed slowly. 

I push him back before he can kiss my neck and sit up on the edge of the bed. "His parents could've been in that building when I blew it up. I killed hundreds, and it's catching up with me. What's he gonna do when he finds out they died in an explosion I caused? Words gonna get out the second those kids I saved put two and two together, Draco."

"You don't know that, Harry."

I roll my eyes, "Don't I? So what we've found a pattern and lead? We both know where they ended up and what happened." 

"This entire thing will just end with losing one more person, a dramatic split, and leaving your life behind. That's how all these movies end. I say we drop this and leave it to the adults. Get hitched for shits and giggles, adopt a cat, no dog, I'm not a dog person."

"Who would make sure nobody dies if we leave it to the adults? They can't even say his name without pissing themselves."

We sigh in unison and he repositions himself on the edge of the bed next to me, "Something about us feels just like it fits. Voldemort doesn't like puzzles. He likes to create them. Where his story makes sense, not ours. And that has me worried this isn't a puzzle piece as two, but separate, and on the other side of the puzzle."

"It almost sounded wise, until the self-doubt." 

He just shrugs, "This shouldn't feel right, should it? I can't enjoy you knowing something can happen when I turn my back."

"You are Draco Malfoy. Do you think just because I want to see your vulnerable side means you can show it to me when you feel doubt? Especially about us as a couple? We've made it this far, you better not be preparing yourself to ask me if we can take a break." I was stern, but his expression was blank. 

"No..I wasn't. Something about it just feels wrong." He wipes the bored look off of his face and walks over to the fridge, seeing some beer bottles. 

"We've earned a drunk night." He hands me a bottle and I stare as he opens both of ours, offering his glass for me to tap. 

I clink his and was about to sip it, but Sirius shows up, standing by the Telly. 

"What do you want?" I put my angered face on to avoid any soft emotions, like being happy to see him. Because I'm still mad with him. 

"Voldemort seeks balance for what you did."

"That was balance, he destroyed Hogwarts. So I destroyed his home."

Sirius expresses his disappointment by staring me down until I finally looked at him, "What else?"

Draco sips his beer again, "You're a dick, Sirius. Piss off."

He ignored Draco and with one single look, he said, "Voldemort knows what you're looking into. I'm assuming you've figured it out?"

"What is there to figure out? You mean..foster parents in the U.K. temporarily watch the death eaters offspring so when they're old enough their biological parents take them back and start training them? Gee, no, I did not figure it out." I scold harshly and look to Draco out of annoyance, "That's kind of fucked up." He murmurs. 

Sirius sits at the small table, while Draco stares at the chair moving, wide eyes. 

"He's gonna go after Hogwarts next. He wants to kill the ministry, and then kill the queen because she's personally arranged defense patrols all over the city. He wants peace with both, but it's not in the way it sounds. He wants to control both. He's willing to kill anyone in the way. You and your blonde boyfriend are the ones in the way." His voice sounded serious, but it was nothing I didn't know. 

There was a short pause, "He is planning on using magic in front of a planned protest against 'terrorists lacking noses'. Magic that kills. He's trying to show these people that they have a reason to be scared. You need to stop it."

"I can't just drop what I'm doing. These kids can't afford rent, Sirius!"

"How about I find their parents and report back? You focus on stopping Voldemort. Maybe for good."

"He's like the most powerful wizard out there and you just expect me to what? Stab him?"

"He can bleed, Harry."

"Against a wand, a knife is nothing."

"So use your wand.."

I just roll my eyes, "I'm not worried about him, bloody hell Sirius. He killed Ron, what can I do?! Everything except risk Draco or Hermione's life by engaging in his petty feud."

"He's gonna kill you, boy! He's planning it now. What you did was personal to him."

With that threat, I stand up and walk closer, slowly leaning down right in front of Sirius's face, "If he wants to play the personal card, look at Ron. He didn't even get a funeral. If anyone should be afraid, it's Voldemort. Because the second he made it personal, my humanity got put on hold. I died with Ron. So if you've come to warn me, I'm the wrong man you should be warning.."

He could see the coldness in my eyes, and Sirius looked like a hurt puppy. "So go warn your boss, Sirius. Because it'd be unfair if he didn't get a chance to prepare for me."

Within seconds, Sirius's figure faded in dust and I turn around with fury, but Draco is just kind of sitting there, staring with shock, "The fact that I could not tell if you were bluffing or not on that threat is oddly turning me on. Cuff me."

He offers his hands, but I push them aside and sit back down, "This needs to work out. For once in my cliche of a life, I need something to work out."

"Bet on me." He says, moving his hand over my bulge, but I lazily push his hand away, "I can't. I want to, but we're the men in front of this war, and only one lives on to tell the story."

Instead of being hurt, Draco slowly wraps his body up behind me and either starts to spoon me or wrap around me to get off, and holds me, "And when have you read a story where the two front characters had nothing to complain about, and were betting their life for the success of the objective? They were happy to fight for what they knew, some even lovers. I'd happily die for you."

"Doesn't mean you deserve to." I turn to face him while laying so close, but he frowns, "This can get worse. You mustn't complain, Potter. Or I'll prove you wrong."

I hum, "How so, Malfoy?"

"Time travel."

"That's not a thing."

"Even if I study black magic?"

"Ugh, you win." I turn on my back with a small frown, "I deserve to have a win."

But then, I pause and finally look to Draco, "You said time travel?! We could get Ron back-"

He covers my mouth, shushing me, pointing to his ear because the walls were paper thin. 

When he lets go, I give a pouty stare, and he says, "We wouldn't be here if it weren't for Ron's death, which caused you to blow shit up, which is what brought on all the biological parents being death eaters and leaving their young death eater offsprings to fend for themselves."

"He's gone." Draco adds softly, trying to be considerate how I felt about it. I frown even deeper, "He is gone. And as much as I want to accept it and move on, it keeps nagging at the back of my head. It shouldn't have ended this way."

My words motivated myself. Blood must have blood. 

"I know that look." Draco studies my expression, "And I say no. You don't actually get to murder him."

"Then how do we get to move into a little flat with our one cat and a ring on our fingers?" 

I gave him, awaiting a juicy response. 

"First, we need a well thought out plan. And second, I get to kill him. Not you. He took my life away, changed me into someone I never intended to grow up as. I didn't get to choose my path. Therefore I should get the satisfaction."

I've known for awhile Draco would be the one to end all this. Besides he deserves it. Voldemort took my family away, but he never got the chance to take my life away. 

I nod, "I know. We have to end this soon."

He wraps an arm around me and pulls me closer, both of us laying so close that the tips of our noses touched one another. 

"I don't know what I'm gonna do if this doesn't work." I sigh a bunch of sadness and in response, Draco smiles, "It will work. It can't not work." 

"Reassuring," I laugh sarcastically, but he knew he wasn't helping. 

Out of nowhere, Draco softly caresses my cheek and says, "I love you," 

It's as if it's the first time I've heard this. My head turns to him with such shock. 

For some people, the 'I love you' isn't serious. But we both know if we admit it, there's a chance it'll have to become real. When it's real it's not as easy to just back up and take a breather. 

It's a goddamn roller coaster. 

Voldemort can easily use this against us. I didn't want to have to go through the pain of losing Draco just because I gave in and let myself love him. 

I look away, nodding at the ceiling, "That's..a scary thing to hear."

"Fear is only fear when your mind has twisted up a concept. You're scared because your mind told you it's dangerous. But if you listened to yourself, we wouldn't be here. In this bed. Close. Trying to talk through the sexual tension.." he slowly drags a finger down my shirt but I push it away, "Love..isn't something I'm open to. I never went into this wanting to come out head over heels, but it's what happened. I've never felt love..compared to this. I don't want this to catch up with us.."

"This isn't a Fairytale, nobody is telling us we can't be together. If you want to be consumed by how good it feels then stop rejecting everything your body is pushing you towards."

"We're gay. So many closed minded people forbid us from being together." My head falls towards him. I only receive a cheeky smirk, "Fuck em'. Who cares.."

I watched his lips get closer and closer, but he was about to kiss me, and I knew it'd lead to sex. I'm not in the mood. 

He sighs angrily and watches me sit up. I open the curtains to let the moonlight in and shut off the light. I listen as the tv flashes on, and turn back to Draco. He's accepted the fact that I'm not gonna put out right now. 

"Why'd you do all that?"

"Moonlight shines through, that being the only source of light, sets the mood."

Draco beams when I crawl on the bed, on top of him moment later. 

I slowly dry hump, both our hands exploring as we danced around. 

I slowly press our lips together to savor his taste, and how the slowness of this all made me feel like I was floating. 

My finger traces over his jawline a few times until he let a small grunt out as we broke apart for split second to reposition ourselves. 

His hand fell down to my lower back, pulling me closer to deepen the kiss. 

This whole moment just..felt..real. I felt like if I didn't take it slow to savor the moment, every last detail, then it's pointless, and I want to be able to look back and think I was happy to experience it. 

He breaks away and pulls his shirt off, soon after mine, slowly kissing down my body while a smile tugs at my cheeks. 

I exhale through my smile and watch his hair fall right above his eyes. When he looks up at me, he has this whole innocent puppy look, the sight alone made my heart jump. 

Draco could feel the same vibrations I felt. It made me feel sensitive, but I liked it. 

He reconnects our lips softly. Within a few seconds he dropped his hand and started tugging at my pants, but I heard some panicked talking, and stopped kissing him back so my eyebrows could furrow. 

Once the boy realized I've stopped, he pulls back to look at me, but I turn towards the sound and my eyes land on the tv. 

'Birmingham Palace has reportedly been burnt down. We have a source claiming that this was intentional. At least twenty dead and twenty-seven injured and in treatment. This could have been a terrorist attack. We have nothing further at this point but will continue with updates. Queen Elizabeth has been found in severe condition and was rushed to the hospital. Pray with us, London, this is a sad night.'

I stare at the man with blonde hair on the screen, he seemed heartbroken, like he had been crying. 

The thing about attending Hogwarts is...you don't exactly learn about the worlds history that was likely made up and not what really happened. 

One day I'm gonna encounter someone and we're gonna get on a topic about space and then it's gonna turn into 'how the hell do you not know a thing about space'. I'm not entirely sure I even really know what space is. 

Like I know it's purpose, and it's there, but what goes on up there is not something I know. 

So this? I should be heartbroken, but I'm not. Because I know exactly who did this. 

"Break time is over."

I start to put my shoes on after my shirt, but halfway through Draco grabs my wrist. He slowly pulled it up to his lip and kissed my knuckles softly, staring when saying, "It's dark out. You can't do anything. We'll deal with it tomorrow."

Although he did have a point, I was still stressed. 

I kick my shoes back off and sit back down on the edge of the bed, "He's trying to show the world he's not messing around, or on drugs. That its real, and bodies are gonna start dropping if they disobey."

Draco wraps an arm around me and dragged me between his open legs, spooning me. "Does it ever occur that Voldemort is the strongest wizard in the world and yet..I still feel like he's done nothing this whole time. It's worrying me."

I nod, because even that occurred in my mind. 

It really sucks not knowing what he is capable of. He never shows it. So even when you think you start to understand, he's a step ahead. That's what's so stressful. 

"I hate that I can't do anything. And that I'm not surprised." 

"I know,"

I grit my teeth at the Telly. The Queen didn't take his side so his solution is set fire to a building?

For all she knew, it was a crackhead with false threats! And he just tried to kill her?!

My eyes slowly start to close after awhile. Draco was watching the news just in case he did some more damage to this city. He was gonna wake me if something did happen. 

Just as I finally drift off in Draco's arms, I hear a voice and jump. 

"I found one, Kirsten. That Safia girl..next door...?"

It was Sirius. 

Draco squeezes my hand, "You alright?"

I nod, "What about her, Sirius?"

"Her parents are..dead."

"How..?"

Sirius fumbled, until my stare became too much, "In the explosion. But a lot survived. They used magic. Kirsten is alive. I can't say much about the other. Many were unidentified in the explosion, some who wanted an out from Voldemort left. Give me some time."

I go limp. I needed a minute to recollect. It's something that was always a possibility. It's my fault, but I'll deal with it. I always do. 

"What was that stunt he pulled? Just now?" I point at the window. There was a big ominous red glow in the distance. Sirius looks over and sighs, "He's going to succeed. Rule both worlds. It's such a pathetic wish, but he makes it look like a destiny. Harry, you haven't seen a single thing of what he's gonna do. He has it all planned. I will always look out for you, but I have to lay low for now. Look after that girl. She's a big role in this."

"Wait- Sirius- Sirius!" I scurry over, "You didn't answer my question!"

He stops fading and looks at me, as if he was pained to admit it, "This wasn't Voldemort. It was his competition. There's a deeper story to it, boy."

My face twists into a confused one and I almost laugh, "Someone dares interfere with this assholes plan? They're gonna get themselves killed."

"She..is...impressively imaginative. For the first time, my lord fears someone. What's about to happen next isn't something I can be present for. Please be careful, Harry."

I watch him fade, completely this time. 

"What?!!" He blurts out after a minute. 

My heart sank, as I lazily slouched back down on the bed, looking at Draco from his lap, "I killed Safia's parents. Voldemort didn't try to kill people tonight, it's his competition, a woman, and Kirsten Misat is alive, but Lonnie is unknown. I need a fucking nap."

He didn't question me, ask me to explain more, why I was so short. Draco knew I didn't want to talk. He understood so easily, that I just sobbed into his lap. 

"I killed her fucking parents." 

Draco runs his fingers through my hair as he's whispering small reassuring things in my ear after pulling me up so he could hold me. 

"I've become exactly what I feared," I whispered, "That maybe after all this I was the bad guy. What if-"

"Pull yourself together, Potter!" He angrily whispered, "You did it because he needed a message. That this war wasn't just one sided sacrifices. You can make some too. It had to be done. Don't beat yourself up over it. We just make sure they didn't die for nothing." 

"Aren't you just...tired of hoping the men and women that die because of us died for our cause?"

"You want to do something about it? I'll tell you. It's all you can do about it." 

I just sigh as I hear our door open, slowly sitting up and wiping my tears, peering around the corner. 

Safia sheepishly walks in, pointing at the window, "What's going on?"

I melt at the sight of her fearful expression, "Don't worry about it, Safia. Wheres Rode?"

She shrugs, "Asleep. I heard it. The explosion."

"Explosion?"

Draco scoots forward to see her face and we both stared. She had rest swollen eyes from crying, her lips were so chapped too. 

"From that glow. I heard people screaming."

They're hundreds of miles away. How would she be able to hear it? We told Rode to not use the tv so she wasn't distracted, so she wouldn't have heard a vile video. 

My eyes just..see the sight of this frightened little girl, nothing good going for her, and I just want to cry. Life is so cruel to those who haven't even been given a chance to grow up yet. 

I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, "How about you sleep in here? It must feel scary being the only one awake in a dark room, hm?"

Draco stands to close the curtains and turns the small microwave light on for at least a little light so Safia didn't get scared. 

She nods and walks over to me, "I saw a lady. She was powerful. She hurt all those people." 

"What lady?" I wipe away her tears and can't help but feel a sense of protection. 

Rode didn't need that responsibility. He's too young. 

"She was wearing a red leather jacket and her eyes glowed. I watched her hurt someone." 

I frown and go to pick her up off her feet. I fall into the pillow with Draco beside me, making sure Safia could lay the middle and feel protected. 

She immediately closed her eyes, as I held her close to my chest, "Don't worry about what you saw. That girl won't touch you. You're safe."

I received a stare from Draco. It was like..he said 'she's gullible. don't lie.'

Even he questioned my promise. 

And I knew I couldn't protect her from everything, but this is a fucking child caught up in this drama. I'm not just gonna let her go.

Any decent human being would take a lost child in until they found their parents. It doesn't mean anything, I don't want children. 

Draco finally looks away and lays flat on his back, deep in his thoughts. 

I focused on petting Safia's hair, humming softly to help her drift off. 

I couldn't help but connect what Sirius said about Saf and how she has a big role. She saw the lady who did this? That's got to mean something. 

If her parents are death eaters, she's a wizard. Nobody told her though, so she must feel the power running through her body is just a necessary effect of bloody hunger. 

It's so sad to have to admit that, or point it out. 

~


	18. Chapter 18

I wish I could say that she slept fine. 

She didn't. 

She woke up constantly throughout the night with these night terrors..they're self explanatory because I was fucking terrified at one in the morning the first time it happened. 

Safia would wake up screaming, she's got quite the set of lungs. She constantly teared up in her sleep, it was at the point I started to notice a pattern. 

Finally, we made it through after hours of me comforting her, and it was nine in the morning when I woke up. 

Draco was standing at the window, staring off, smoking...?

"Smoking?" I ask, staring at his body glisten from the sunlight that barely shined through. The sky was just..drenched in fire smoke. The sky was darker than your average cloudy day. You could tell it was from the fire. "You should do it outside."

He had the window open at least. 

Draco turns his head slightly, "Second hand smoking is the least of this kids worries, Harry."

I sensed his annoyance, so proceeded cautiously, "I was gonna say their smoking policy required you go outside, but I know what you mean."

He slowly just puts the cigarette out, in fear I'd argue with him about it. I didn't mind it, he just never told me he smoked. 

Or..he just started. And frankly I don't blame him for a second. Something has to take the edge off. 

"That wasn't just nightmares." He spats out, "She's..messed up. Somethings wrong."

"It has something to do with what Sirius said to me last night.." 

I scan over her sleepy face and then slowly walk over to Draco, "He said she has a big role in this. Then we find out she..sees things. Tragedies maybe? Danger? I mean look, she saw the explosion from last night and knows it was a chick who did it. She wouldn't know that unless she saw it. Draco there's so much more to her story. If I could just figure it out-"

"She's ten, Harry." I feel him caress my arms, rubbing them repeatedly, "Involving her would risk her."

"She's already at risk."

He sighs hard, "What if it's just her magic trying to drop hints?"

"How-"

"I don't know! It's never happened, that I know of. A wizard that doesn't know they're a wizard? Usually it's a family dinner topic once or twice!"

I roll my eyes but quickly avert them to the shifting sheets to see Safia squirming. I prayed she wouldn't start to scream, prayed and prayed until she lets a small exhale out, relaxing again. 

"She's..not your daughter, Harry." Draco says softly.

"I met this child yesterday. I know I'm not her dad. I'm just looking out for her while she's here."

"We both know that's a lie." He squeezes my shoulder before walking away and towards the exit, "You and your redemption."

"Look where it got us!" I whisper-yell as he leaves. 

"Doesn't mean it'll get you anywhere with an orphan!"

I feel my heart sink as my fake enthusiasm disperses. I was just so worried this kid had no chance. 

After a little bit, Rode gets up and informs everyone he was gonna get breakfast because it's free until eleven. 

As I sit on the chair, I see Sirius appear in front of me, sulking slightly. 

I sensed it, but I didn't care. I kind of ignored him. 

"Lonnie is dead. He died at the hands of Voldemort. It's because Ryan came to you. It brought you closer to Voldemort."

I shrug, "He was an abusive prick anyway. And his name is Rode,"

Sirius nods and sends me an apologetic smile before gesturing to the sleeping Safia, "I admire this part of you. It's really brave taking in a troubled kid."

"I'm not taking her in. I'm making sure she's protected until I figure this out."

"She plays a big part-"

"How?! Because if I have to deal with those night terrors one more time I think I'm gonna lose it!"

He pauses, "She's strong. Almost one of a kind. Watch out for her, and don't go near the girl who's against Voldemort. She's just as dangerous."

I stare until he leaves. I mean, I figured he was just spitting lies. I knew Lonnie was dead the second Sirius said it was unknown. 

And yeah in a way it's my fault, but I can't handle that weight. There's more important things than blaming myself. 

"Are we finding my parents today?"

A faint tired voice speaks up, inches away. My eyes find hers, and I almost frown, but I was quick to force a smile, "We're gonna get closer."

She didn't say anything, except frown. 

I stopped my smile, when her eyebrows tensed, "You lied."

The tv flickered on and off as the wind from the half open window started blowing like crazy. I think I even heard a tornado siren, and that's when I panicked and rushed over to her, "Safia! I didn't lie-"

Sirius was behind me as I tried to frantically calm her down, but I was too panicked to pay attention to his satisfied smile. 

"These are minor breakdowns. She could kill you if it gets to that point one day. I admire who you're trying to be, but for once Harry, protect yourself."

I heave as the wind stops, seeing Sirius go away. 

"Safia!" I exclaim, "What the hell kid?!!"

She suddenly freezes and processes what she did, "I- Mister Potter I'm sorry- I- do we- I did that?"

I didn't answer as I glance at the skies slowly clear up. 

What kind of ten year old senses lies and controls the bloody weather?

-

After I filled Draco in on what happened, we decided to figure it out when we got time. 

Right now we had to go to the library, the only safe place we could to watch that drive. 

Rode took Safia around the building as Draco and I analyzed every bit of information we could gather, but all we got from it was the whole 'death eater' thing. She wore a necklace Draco said represented disloyalty and loyalty. When one is disloyal, it curses them. 

"This helps..nothing." He slouches in his seat, only for me to suggest Sirius. "Sirius can help us find Kirsten. But after that, Safia comes with us to Hogwarts and we figure out the game plan. No more sitting around."

Draco grins, "I kind of love see you talk game plan."

"Good."

I peck his lips, "Because this fucker is going down."

-

We take the two of them back to Hogwarts. 

To say that this was gonna be easy like before is hard..it's..a lie. And Safia does not bode well with lies. 

The weight was on my shoulders to tell Rode only his mum lives. Something tells me he'll be thrilled, because he only had a soft spot for his mum, who was damaged, from the father. 

But doesn't mean it'll hurt any less. 

We find Hermione and introduce her as rushed as possible. 

She gave us our stuff, and we go to shove it in the dungeons, but we come eye to eye with McGonagall and in a panic, Draco grabs my hand and drags us in a closet. 

"I uh..you realize it doesn't work that way? The metaphor you're thinking of-" I try, but I grab everyone and wave my wand, and we quickly rush to Snape's office. 

"The roof, okay?"

Rode jumps in, "Why are we running? Exactly?"

"Potter and I have been skipping class since they started teaching again, and have been running around behind the staffs back. Facing possible expulsion, no biggie. If we avoid legally she can't expel."

I scoff, "What makes you think the law applies here?"

He laughs breathlessly until we reach the roof, seeing the rest of our things and rounding the corner, all very careful not to slip. 

The guards and McGonagall stopped chasing us, so I finally looked to Safia, to check in, but she had a small grin on her face. 

"What's wrong kiddo? You find joy in getting hunted down by guards..?"

She giggled, "My body feels all tingles."

Draco and I exchange a look and Rode steps in, "She's just light headed. Don't mind her."

I close my eyes and try and contact Sirius, because getting it to work was a pain sometimes, he doesn't always allow me to get in. 

But finally, I connected and stumbled into the room he was in, watching him rush and shut the door. 

Once he knew he was fully alone, he looks to me, questioning. 

"Can you find Kirsten Misat? Get her an out opportunity..?"

He blinks because he thinks he's imagining it, but I stay stern. It's possible. 

"Are we actually discussing this?"

I nod, hard, "You scared to discuss it?"

He grits his teeth, shutting his eyes until the air suddenly got much colder, and then I opened my eyes to see Sirius, arms crossed and on the roof as well. 

"I don't have that authority. And even if I got Voldemort to let one out, he needs to show that it isn't unfair. That balance is necessary, he'll take one Misat, and let the other go. Rode is the only one left alive, that boy would be dead. If he joins the death eaters, he'll survive."

"Fuck off." I stand my ground, because Rode going down that..road is the last thing we should be thinking about. It's horrid. 

"Or..you kill Voldemort, free everyone. Not just..one boy. I'll help, but not getting there. He'll start getting suspicious."

Suddenly he looks up and blinks, "I have to go. Contact Kirsten, but she has Voldemort's trust. That means more than you'll know." 

He left moments later and I snort, "So Rode..not sure this is the best time but-"

Draco cuts in, "Your Father's dead and your mum is basically a big loyal death eater that we won't access any time soon."

It had been a big debate who'd tell Rode. Draco must've felt it'd be easier if he did, coming from someone Rode knows? Doesn't make it easier but it's a step closer to something. 

His breath hitched, "What-"

I grab the stuff just as Sydney's head was poked through the window and out eyes met, seconds later Draco apparated away and immediately we're in the streets. 

Safia whined, "My head hurts, Mister Potter."

I set the suit cases down that Hermione packed for Draco and I, with all our stuff obviously, and then kneeled in front of her, "It'll pass soon. Remember, it's just you brain working away at a crazy dream."

Dream..yeah. 

Look, so a wizard who thinks she's a muggle goes to Hogwarts and runs around with these two guys with wands. She needs to believe it's not real before I have to explain it to someone who isn't gonna attend Hogwarts if she remains in foster care! 

"I know it's not a dream. I'll tell you what, Mister Potter, if you don't tell your boyfriend I have magic, I won't tell him you have magic.."

She did this adorable little grin, pointing her hand behind me and causing a flower to catch on fire, burning out when the flame reached the grass. 

I turn back to her, an eyebrow raised. She's definitely different than your average wizard. 

"Okay, love. But my...boyfriend? He's a wizard too. We have nothing to hide. So is Rhodey, here."

Safia eyes the two of them and beams, "That's so cool! Can you give me a bunch of chocolates!?"

"That's..the wrong form of magic. I'm not a magician pulling a chocolate bar out of a hat, I'm a wizard. But I can still certainly buy you some chocolate." I hand her a few pounds and she gets excited, "Thank you!!"

Draco watches Rode chase her down the sidewalk because there was a candy store across the street that she was eyeing. 

I slowly stand up as they enter the shop and Draco puts a hand on my shoulder, "She's going back to a foster home after this, Harry. Just..don't get attached. I know she's cute, but you're eighteen, you aren't ready for a kid. We aren't."

"She's a defenseless little girl, get over yourself, D. I'm not trying to be a father figure. I'm giving her all I can before she goes back into the foster home." 

He chuckled, "Right, I forgot, you were in the system before family claimed you."

I just nod, remembering how chocolate was gold, when I was in a foster group home. It really wasn't fun, kind of terrifying, those bloody kids were horrid considering they didn't have parents. Christ. 

I don't think I've been bullied so bad, and I attended Hogwarts with Draco. 

"Do you notice how..she's different? No ten year old wizard can catch a flower on fire with their hand. She has night terrors? If I don't help her she's gonna kill herself with her powers. I can't get anything else out of Sirius regarding her." I pout while the two of them start to walk out and towards us. 

"What'd you get out of him?"

"She's..similar to the woman who set fire yesterday. The woman she saw in the night terror."

There was a short pause, and then Draco laughed, "You always assume the next step is so hard. She's similar to this terrorist chick, so why don't we find her? She's against Voldemort, we're against Voldemort. We aren't a threat. She can tell us what's up with Safia."

"Sirius said she's too dangerous and don't go near her.."

"Maybe we shouldn't rely on a man who is dedicated to pleasing the man tearing the world apart, Potter."

I sigh because he's right, and Safia was rushing back over, "Whats happening now?"

"We're..gonna find that lady you saw in your dream.." Draco said slowly and cautiously. Safia's head flickered between us, "Isn't she the bad guy?"

"She might be the good guy, Saf." I run a finger through her hair and she backs up, "Wait but she killed all those people-"

Rode grabs her arm so she'd stop backing up and kneels, "Sometimes, the good guys have to make sacrifices to protect someone. She might've been protecting someone."

"She wasn't," she said, but all three of us sighed, me being the only one willing to speak up, "If we felt it was too dangerous, we wouldn't do it. But this is for you, kiddo. We're gonna help you rest."

-

Draco needed time. He insisted he could find her, but it was gonna take awhile. So I told Rode to take Safia to the park. He argued, but then I suggested the mall, and that I'd give him money if he just left, so he did. 

We were back at the hotel, and Draco was sitting across from me on the other bed. 

We had to get a new hotel, to avoid police tracking us easily. Lord knows they probably are after what we pulled. 

Sometimes I wonder if Draco influenced me to be this careless guy. Not that I think it's bad, because it's getting the job done, but I'd never mess with the law for my own benefit. 

But now, I do. I'm just different and I know he influenced some of it, but I feel..stronger, rather than pathetic like it suggests. 

He's making me stronger and I'm not mad about it. 

I'm sitting on the second bed, and Draco has his eyes shut as he's focusing on some spell. 

Every now and then his fingers twitch and there's some sparks coming from his finger tips. 

Magic..doesn't necessarily work that way. It doesn't flow through your finger tips. You need a wand to perform a spell. 

But for muggles, a wand doesn't work. 

When you practice the dark magic Draco does, it consumes your entire soul, it rearranges the way you think, act, breathe. It flies through your body and one single slip, and you no longer have access to your own body. It's just the magic talking. 

That's why I'm worried one day it'll get too much for Draco. 

But to fight the most powerful wizard alive, you have to become the most powerful wizard alive. Or just..hopefully get on their level. 

Sacrifice play, I get it. 

"How are you finding her?" I ask from afar. 

Draco lifts his head to breathe, not to respond. I kind of frown at getting ignored and stand up, sitting in front of him on his bed, "How are you finding her?"

He exhaled, "When you ask me questions every second I'm not finding her." Draco sighs, "I'm..tracking her with wizards she's possibly been associated with. Anyone she's had a connection with. I can find people easily, after learning the spell, but she's blocking that type of reach. She doesn't pull back, she attacked the extended magic. Everyone pulls back, voluntary or not."

"So..she's powerful. We knew that."

Draco studied the spell today. He's determined to prove himself capable of such. 

As long as he's being supervised by me, he's allowed to study the magic. 

That's something we agreed on, because it puts me at ease. If he starts to lose himself, I can swoop in and stop it. 

The only issue is, how is he gonna extract this magic from his body when the war is over? If he can't, he's fighting his entire life, no break. 

Deep down I know he struggles. He just hides it well. 

"Do you at least know a name?" I ask him with slight hope, but he shakes his head and we both sulk. 

My head was spinning. Right now, I just want this all to end. I'm tired of taking it step by step for a goal I anticipate. 

I'm afraid not everyone is gonna make it through this, and it gave me major anxiety when I think for too long. 

Worst of all, Hermione and Draco. The chances of one dying-

"Stop thinking." Draco said with his eyes closed. 

I did immediately, watching his face closely. 

"And stop staring."

I jump and nod, trying to get up but he opens one eye and watches me, "Actually..just..come here. I'm testing a theory. A dumb theory."

While flattered, I come over and sit back down, only for him to take my hand and cause me to gasp as a cold vibration traveled through my entire body and forced my eyes to shut, a bright light image showing up in my mind. 

It..was the girl. Red leather jacket, brunette, structured face, black leggings, heel boots. She looked like a villain. 

Behind her was a big building. It was a library. New Public London Library. 

She sat on a bench, watching people walk by. 

I noticed she had brown leather gloves on because she was holding an ice cream cone, watching everyone walk by with absolutely no expression, or even emotion. 

It was...creepy. I don't know. 

Suddenly, I was there, I could feel my body, walking, blinking. I spotted the woman from my point of view, and she watched a little kid run by, then, her eyes landed on me, tilting her head without a single look of confusion. 

I continue walking, trying to have that same..effortless careless look. Emotionless. 

I don't think I succeeded. I felt nervous, and I know it showed. 

"Who are you?" I ask.

"Mummy ever tell you not to talk to strangers, kid?" She carelessly drops her ice cream cone on the bench and stands, walking over to me slowly, "I could be anyone. Human trafficker, psychopath, crackhead. And you walk up asking for an introduction? What made you feel..invited. I'm far from a inviting appearance."

"You tried to kill the queen. For what?" I watch her circle me and she stood still the second I confronted her. Within moments I was pressed against the wall with nothing but air, being choked, I think. 

The odd thing is, I wasn't near a wall. I was nowhere near one. 

The girl walks at her own slow pace before finally getting close enough to be in arms length. But she doesn't use her hands to hold me up, just..her magic, I think. 

"I-" I tried, but my neck started closing in on itself. I could..feel my bones crushing together slowly. 

"Tell me, what is it you came here for?"

"I can't breathe-" I could actually feel it, but I know I wasn't here. Everyone would be staring if I was. 

Nobody could see her right now. Nobody could see me. 

She stopped choking me with her mind, but remained holding me against the wall. 

"Let me move my hand." I beg, but she's unimpressed. 

"You're pathetic. Answer the question or I'm killing you. You're lucky I'm even giving you a chance to tell me who you are."

"My forehead." I try to gesture upward, so she'll see for herself. 

The woman hesitantly reaches for my forehead, it was the first time I saw the smallest glimpse of emotion; curiosity. But somehow she still remained so stern. 

She pushed a strand of hair out of the way to reveal my scar, scoffing, "Is this supposed to have some significant meaning to me, kid?"

"I'm Harry Potter."

"Goodbye, Harry Potter-" 

She goes to squeeze my throat more, but I blurt out in a panic, "There's a little girl just like you! She's ten and needs you!"

The girl hesitated, she seems to at least, then laughs, "Don't search for any redeeming qualities in me. I don't care about some child, who possesses my power. I figured it out myself, she will too."

"Please, she won't stop having night terrors. She says they've been going on since she was four. Four years of waking up terrified! Every night, at least six times a night. Please! This has nothing to do with your war with Voldemort! What do I have to do to just get your help??!"

The lady pauses, soon after, tilts her head and crosses her arms, "Why should I know who you are?"

"Hogwarts?" I ask.

"No."

"Voldemort tried to kill me and my family with the killing curse. But I survived."

"Nobody survives that-"

"I did. That's why people know me. That's why I have this scar. My parents were killed, and he's been out for my life my entire life. I want him dead just like you. But right now there's a scared little girl and she's my only priority."

She just smiled, so amused, "You're so full of it."

She pulls a dagger out, holding it against my arm and slowly going down until she hit my wrist, causing a burning sensation all through my left arm. 

"Tell Voldemort to go fuck himself. Him and his kid. I see through your lies."

"It's not a lie for Christ sake you egotistical psychopath! There's nobody in this world like you, that magic doesn't exist except for in your body, and that little girls. I don't know what you've been through, or who you are, but I give you my word that this isn't a set up."

She goes to put the dagger away, but immediately pulls back and goes to cut my throat, but somehow, I stop her, right before the edge touched my skin. 

My body was still pinned, but I could hold her off. 

She stops, and drops the dagger, raising an eyebrow, "Reckless. An idiot, but you're being genuine. I'll help you, under one circumstance, you give me inside detail about Voldemort and his pathetic little sired followers. Deal?"

The moment I said deal, she drops me from the wall, "You're not really here, are you?" She starts to walk as I trail behind, catching my breath. 

"You aren't here either, are you?"

She shakes her head, "No, Harry Potter, I'm not here. Your..magic was different, strong, but I see through it. I saw it before you even started. Don't walk around thinking you have even remotely a chance at anything associated with me. Finding me, killing me, befriending me, because you absolutely don't. I only let you find me because I could feel you coming."

"If you knew that, then you know I'm not out to get you. Which means you did all that for nothing. I'm dripping blood, you arse." I'm covering my arm as we walk, but suddenly I go flying backwards and to the ground, hitting my head harshly. 

The woman stands above me, "Let's get this straight, you monumental coward, there will be no disrespectful insults or banter. I am and always will be capable of decapitating you with the blink of an eye. I'm not here to impress you, I'm here because I know what that kid is going through. She's competition, so I'm gonna get it out of her. And if I can't, she dies."

I stop breathing, staring at her, "I won't let it come to that."

"I know, but what makes you think you can do something about it. Need I remind you who's on the ground and who's standing?"

I was tempted to kick in her leg, make her fall and then grab the dagger on the ground beside me and hold it to her throat to show I was just as dangerous, but I knew I wasn't. I wasn't remotely capable of what she was. 

Truthfully, I'm not sure how I even held her off without my wand, but I did. And it showed her something because she didn't kill me despite knowing with slightly more effort she could've. 

"What do I call you?"

"Genevieve."

"We prefer to call newbies by their last name. Do you..have one?"

She watches me stand and stares, "I'm not your friend."

"I know."

"I don't have a last name. You can call me Gen, but if you so as even think of an insult, I will know and I will end your whole family for wasting my time. Got it, kid?"

"My whole family's dead, so good luck, Gen." I push past her to sit on the bench, and for once, she didn't respond with a threat, "How tragic, as if that's supposed to be a pity. No family equals no casualties."

"You must not have family," I say, "because if you're as emotionless as you seem, nobody has ever loved you."

"And yet, you say it as if it's a bad thing. Kid, if words could describe how pointless love is, I don't think you'd be here worried about some kid who probably will die from being unvaccinated because she's an orphan."

I give her a sheepish frown, "I'm not gonna ask how you know."

"I'll meet you at your hotel. The minute I'm done with that child we discuss the plan to get inside information on Voldemort."

"Once again, not gonna ask how you know." 

Soon, I fade out, along with her bored expression. 

I'm back with Draco, who's absolutely petrified at the sight of me. 

My neck was red, bruised even. My arm was gushing blood, and my hair was a mess, but he didn't seem to react in any physical way. Just mental. 

"She's..probably listening. On her way. Will cut your throat if you even look at her funny, she has no emotions, and her name is Genevieve. Cut my arm after she thought I was lying about Safia, and..she's coming to help. If she can't fix Safia, she'll kill her. Do not let her, okay?"

Draco stares wide eyed as the doors lock pad buzzed like someone used the keycard, and then Gen is standing in the kitchen, judging how worn down this place was. 

"You're some famous pathetic moron and you can't get a five star hotel?" She looks to Draco, who's genuinely confused, and then chuckled dryly, "The boyfriend. You're the kid I felt. Your technique is terrible. Strong, but horrid."

"The hell did you do to his arm?" Draco roars, going to pounce but I hold him back, "Do you want a matching one?!!! Shut the hell up and go with it. She will kill you."

He breathes harshly as Gen stares with annoyance, "Where's the kid?"

"At the mall. She'll be here any minute." 

Draco finally sits on the edge of the bed, running his finger over the arm he was latched on to, using some spell to stop the bleeding and stitch it back up. 

Within moments, there was..a long straight scar on my arm. He coughs, "It's all I can do.."

I eye it, just nodding, "Adding to my collection. Thanks Gen."

"No sarcasm." She tilts her head awaiting my apology, and I do as she expected. I've learned. Do not disrespect this twit. 

I- mean, this beautiful badass lady. 

"Who's the inside man?" She crosses her arms. 

"A..man..my parents knew. He looked after me when they were killed. He told me about you."

"Voldemort knows about me? How much?" She furiously goes to threaten me, but I hold my hands up and she stops, remembering our truce and slowly puts away the dagger she naturally pulled out with magic, "Force of habit."

"Not much. Just your reputation. Dangerous."

She nods, "And..your guardian. How do I trust you knowing you could just report back to him?"

"He's on our side."

"Sirius Black. He was killed by Bellatrix Lestrange, but Voldemort brought him back, only Sirius had to declare his undying loyalty to this wrinkled ballsack. In a way, he's actually sired." Draco gestured and the two of us watched him, only, Gen immediately turned to me, "He's on Voldemort's side. I don't trust you. I'm gonna kill him, then we can talk-"

"You can't!" I exclaim, "He's..leverage."

"I sense your lies. Amuse me, Harry Potter."

I get flustered trying to come up with something, when finally, "He's one of Voldemort's seconds, he has two, I killed one, Sirius is his second. To draw Voldemort out, we kidnap him. Then you can kill him, free all his followers-"

"Free his followers?" She scoffs, "They declared their loyalty. It was voluntary, until they got the mark."

Her eyes wander, all of us at a moment of hesitation, until her eyes land on Draco's arm, and then her eyes widen, "Liar!"

The room begins to shake violently and all the furniture starts flying, trying to hit us but I stand in front of Draco with my wand, "Let me explain Genevieve! It's a long story!"

"I gave you a chance to explain! You lied. You wasted my time." She lifts a hand and starts to reopen my scar, both of them. The one of my forehead let a light out, hitting her eyes and as soon as she was distracted, my mental yelling stopped and she was stunned. 

The light stopped, and the scar on my arm stitched itself back up, like it reversed her magic. 

"He was forced to be a death eater! Voldemort killed his parents! Draco has been trying to kill Voldemort and get his revenge just as hard as I have. And you. He's not a death eater. The mark means nothing!" I exclaim loudly. 

Gen stops catching her breath and slowly straightens her posture, "Why should I believe you?"

"Because, any minute, a kid is gonna walk through those doors and she's gonna be afraid of you. She saw you kill those people, so I need you to show redeeming qualities, and make her trust you. This entire association is for the sake of a child at risk. Not because Draco's background, not because my past, not because Voldemort, but because I don't want her to get herself killed."

Gen's head snaps downward, then up again, "This child you speak of is in the lobby. If you're lying, I will not give you a chance to explain. Do not lie to me, or fail to leave any detail out."

I just nod, and turn to the door when I hear it open, seeing Safia hesitantly walk in with four stuffed animals. 

She drops them all and takes s single look at Gen, then gasps, "Thats- She's the scary lady from my dream. Mister Potter get her out please-"

I stop Saf, "She's only here to help. She knows about your night terror's. She knows about that control you can't always keep in check. Her name is Gen, and she will not hurt you."

My eyes land on Gen and I send a warning look, but she wouldn't dare do a thing about it when she needs to gain Safia's trust. 

She just nods, raising her head like she's royalty and can't be bothered to even touch a kid without feeling the need to wash her hands for an hour straight. 

I stand beside Rode, who's just as cautious, and Gen walks closer to Safia, who's still just so hesitant. 

This worried me, putting her at risk, but it was necessary. 

I walk over to Gen and lean close, "Redeeming qualities."

She nods, kneeling down beside Safia, "Little girl. I know what you go through. I'm gonna help you control it."

"Less cringe." Draco murmurs and only Gen heard it. I assume she..had heightened everything with those powers. 

"What's your name, lovely?"

"Safia." Saf stands still and tries to cooperate, but you could see the terror in her eyes. Something tells me Gen liked that terror. 

Gen nods, "I'm Genevieve. I have the same powers you do. Lets start with learning to control your dreams. Then we'll move on to allowing your power to flow through your veins."

"I want it gone."

"Just your luck, I think I can help you there." Gen forces a cute smile at her, which Safia returns with less resistance and Gen stands, "I need to be alone with her. No distractions."

"One problem, nobody trusts you. You threatened a lot. I can't leave you alone."

Gen's smile is still forced, but the enthusiasm in her eyes fades, "Don't think you can take advantage of this child being present. I will not hesitate to do what I've threatened already. Safia here can see it. I saw much worse at her age."

Saf pays no attention to her words and follows her to the second bed. 

Draco nods, "I'll stay."

Gen raises her head, "Fine. But you wear Potter's cloak. Otherwise this is an argument you cannot win."

I rush to my suit case and grab the cloak, tossing it and leaning down by his ear, "If anything happens, you know how to contact me. Grab Safia and leave, do not worry about Rode and I if she tries something. I can manage."

Just because I was quiet, didn't mean Genevieve didn't hear me, but I knew she didn't because she was talking sweetly to Safia. 

I eye them as I walk out behind Rode. 

Oh lord. 

~


	19. Chapter 19

Jump a few days, andddd...nobody is dead!

It's a good thing, c'mon! I mean, nobody should've be at risk in the first place but Genevieve is..quite an arse. I'm gonna be honest. 

It's not an insult, just feedback. 

Solid 3/10 experience.

Only three because Safia is getting help. 

She had been keeping an eye on Voldemort, making sure he wasn't gonna make a move on us. She had such easy access. So easy, she could probably kill Voldemort easily, but I know she's dragging it out because she's bored. 

"I..don't trust her." Rode murmured from the corner of the bed. 

Draco, Rode, and I all sat on the same bed, watching Genevieve and Safia practice their magic by the window. 

The building was big! Like, not your average tiny space. 

Genevieve said it was more someone owed her a favor so we get to stay in a semi huge house. 

It was very modern, she definitely had some contacts. 

"We don't have a choice." I mumble lazily. 

Draco was letting me lay in his lap, but he was just watching protectively. 

If I'm gonna be honest, I like how he feels a need to protect me. I just wish it'd end at some point. Because there's always a hard to make choice and before you know it, he gets himself killed trying to protect me. 

He almost did! With Ron. He knew I wouldn't be able to handle it. 

And..the man is right, only, I'm not handling it at all. 

If you just put it aside and ignore casualties, then you don't suffer from crippling depression!

Yikes. 

It's true, though. 

"Yeah, but we should. How did you even know she had..powers?" He asked me hesitantly. I lift my head, "I..just..noticed she had something different to her."

Genevieve smiles brightly at Safia who successfully moved a tissue box across the room with just her magic. 

The two cheered. 

You could tell Safia was happy to work with Gen. she was overall excited for everything, but as for Gen, I don't think she was thrilled. She's just putting on a good show so Safia can..manage. 

"Maybe we should take advantage of the psycho sticking around for Safia. Voldemort won't attack when it'll antagonize her. And if we're all together, he won't attack us. He's stuck until we split." Draco rubbed his finger against the palm of my hand and slowly kissed my cheek, "It's a break. We should take it."

I look up with boredom. Break? We don't get breaks. 

But instead of saying anything, he just takes the opportunity to kiss my dumbfounded face and slowly pulls away from my lips, "You could use a break."

"I'll think about Ron if I take a break." With that being said, I brush it all off and look back to Gen, who's now making eye contact with me. 

"Safia..why don't we take a break?" Genevieve dismisses her and then gestures at the door. 

Draco watched me get up and pouted, "You leaving me for an emotionless chick?"

"Bold of you to assume I'd leave you for a chick." I quirk my brow and quickly leave to the other room with Genevieve as she opens all the curtains.

This was the master bedroom, she said she would stay in here because the guy she probably blackmailed but claims he owed her doesn't want strangers in his bed while he's in Spain. 

"Who's Ron?" She asks, staring at the view of the water in front of us. 

It was quite a big pond, some might label it as a lake. I'm not too sure what it was. But it was pretty. 

It was late, and there were all these colored lights beaming above and in the water. 

I cross my arms, "Ron was my best friend, but Voldemort killed him in front of me when I tried to rescue him."

She snorted, "You tried to go on a rescue mission when the whole point of kidnapping your friend was to draw you out? He had value to him. He wouldn't have died if you waited it out."

"Gee, Genevieve, how sensitive of you." I turn to leave but she stood in front of my path, "Just saying. Contact your guy. The inside guy."

"He's been avoiding me. Waiting for stuff to blow over with you. I don't think I can-"

"Of course you can, you're just bluffing."

I squint my face together and sigh as I turn my back, trying to reach Sirius. 

He was..blocking my attempt at visiting. He told me he was gonna lay low. I didn't think he was strong enough to stop me though. 

"He's blocking my attempts, villain lady. Looks like you'll have to be patient, and wait for him to reach out to me first." I go to walk out, but she uses her magic to hold a dagger she pulled out of her boot and put it against my neck, "Don't mistake me for someone who cares. I'm playing nice for that little girls sake. But I will not hesitate to tear you apart in front of her."

My eyes flickered between hers, searching for anything that would mean she's being genuine about her threat. It's so hard to tell the difference between false and genuine threats when it comes to her. 

So, I just nodded, backing up, "Okay, I'm sorry. He won't talk to me though, not until it's quiet."

"He'll talk if you're in danger." 

My eyes widen and I shake my head with a nervous laugh, "He knows what's going through my mind. I'm not strong enough to block him. That takes mental practice, of which I do not have time for."

She snickered, but you could tell it was fake. 

"Voldemort..is like..what I'd call..a narcissist. He believes in himself too much. He knows his reputation, and his goal, and he's working towards it because nobody is capable of stopping him." Gen forces a grin and turns back to face me, "Then I come along, and now, the undefeated..faces a threat even he can't begin to understand or comprehend. So, Harry Potter, as long as Safia is struggling, I'll be here. Voldemort doesn't know about our alliance, but the second he does he'll start plotting something big. You have..maybe a week. So, let's draw your friend out, work on your mental strength, and then we'll talk about the plan once you're strong enough."

I watch her pace, enjoying seeing she finally showed emotion. Personally I think she was picking up our body language and reactions subconsciously. Before she was so careless, didn't really care about giving you a laugh so you weren't uncomfortable. 

Don't get me wrong, she still makes me extremely uncomfortable, but at least I'm not getting stared down to the point of an anxiety attack. 

"Would you mind me asking a personal question?" I tilt my head with a small grin, to show it was just my curiosity and I wasn't gonna be sarcastic. 

She eyes me, then snorts, "We're not friends. I don't have friends."

"We don't need to be."

Gen continues to stare and I quickly take advantage of her silence, "What has you so determined to take down Voldemort? Everyone has a motive, except for you. He took Draco's life from him, he took my family and my life has never been safe because of him, but you just..seem to do this for shits and giggles."

There was a moment of hard thoughts being taken into consideration before speaking. When finally, she said,

"Voldemort took things from everyone, not just you."

She tries to walk out the door but I stop her, "I thought you had nothing."

"I did, until I didn't, and then I did again. I'm not here to bond with you, or learn your life story. Don't get this twisted. I'm not your boyfriend out there, I will not give in to tolerating you, because I personally Voldemort's not the only narcissist I've encountered this month."

Narcissist? Since when am I gonna be that kind of guy? That's selfish, and I'm not obsessed with myself. I don't hate myself, but I don't love myself. 

"This alliance requires we know stuff about one another! How am I supposed to trust you if I don't even know your motive??!"

"I'm not here for your trust, kid. And you don't need mine. Let's leave it at that. I'm here for that kid."

"Which shows you're not entirely heartless!"

"My condition is rare, she's lucky she's lasted this long. Think of it as cancer, some last, some don't, with treatment. I'm treatment. Doctors don't have to have a heart to know that saving a cancer kid is just a force of habit and is part of their job. I feel as the only one who's survived such powers, it's part of my job to see if she'll make it. If not, I take her powers. Easy. Don't bother me, or I'll consider shoving rabbit feces in your socks."

With that, I finally let her walk away, sighing to myself. 

"So this chick can ask me a personal question regarding Ron but I can't ask her why she wants Voldemort murdered?" I murmur to myself as I start to walk back out. 

-

A little later, Draco had gotten up and went to our room, just to stand on the balcony. I assumed he had been smoking, but when I went to check on him, he just stood gracefully, in front of the sun while ignoring all his problems. 

He looked so pretty from this angle. And no, not only because his arse was facing me.

I slowly approach him, but it didn't matter, he already knew I was here, just watching him. I'm just glad he didn't mind it. 

"Are you feeling sorry for yourself?" 

He turns his head to see me approach beside him and just smiles fondly, "No, Potter, why would I feel sorry for myself? Not like..my life has been going to shit since this year."

"It was shit before this year," I say, "But, the difference with this year is.."

"You." 

I get slightly flustered, "I was going to say you have family, blood or not-"

"You are family." He mumbles carefully and looks back to the view, so he didn't have to feel embarrassed by my blushing or beaming. He was shy, but I'm glad he admits this stuff. It makes me happy to hear him admit I've impacted his life. 

I don't want to acknowledge his words because trying to get more cheesy stuff out of him hasn't ended well for me, and I can only imagine how quickly the conversation will end. 

So, I smile, "People to rely on, knowing you can trust them no matter what because everything they've been through shows how much they truly care for another and how they're stronger together than they are alone.."

"Genevieve is right, you are a narcissist. So obsessed with talking about yourself.." Draco looks to me and smiles cheekily while I smile with fondness, "You were eavesdropping??!"

"It's hard not to." 

I sigh, leaning backwards slightly, "So then you know why I'm bothering your alone time?"

He chuckled. "This is far from my alone time. My alone time consists of nudity and some lubrication, but close enough."

"This view would be better with nudity-" I started but immediately stop, "She's not someone to mess around with. I just need someone to help me with mental exercises. You do that type of stuff so often with the magic you practice so I was thinking there could be some bonding time?"

"Bonding? More?" He gives me a fake groan and tries not to smile at my face, looking away moments later, "Obviously I'm gonna help you, but I expect some things in return."

With a wink, he turns back to the sun and I sigh, going to leave, not because I was angry, I wasn't at all, I just wanted to check on Safia, who I've left alone for maybe five minutes, but then I realized, Draco always hides behind his cute banter. 

He uses it to manipulate you into thinking he's fine. He's always done that. He stopped being so defensive when he's vulnerable and started flirting, because I'm the only one who seems to be around enough to notice. 

I stopped dead in my tracks and faced him again, and he noticed, facing me as well. 

"You're feeling self pity."

"Indeed I am. I should be able to have a small cabin in..America..with the man I love, with a bloody animal and one of those sixty inch tv's! But instead I'm here, worrying 'who's gonna be the sacrifice play in all this'."

I walk back over and rest my chin on his shoulder as–this time–we both look out. 

"You should take twenty-four hours to just let yourself feel sorry, to come to terms with what your life is, and then drop it. Dwelling on what life could be versus what you have makes a big difference." 

Draco's eyes finds mine and he just frowns slightly, "I know. I'm glad what I have. It's just anticipating how this ends, it's..getting to me. I'm fine. I just..need to be alone."

"I think it's the last thing you need."

"And yet, you don't have a say." He steps back so I can't rest against him and gestured to the door, but I stand my ground and cross my arms, "I'm stubborn, what can I say?"

He doesn't really react and shakes his head. He drops his arms and starts to go to the bed, immediately just plopping down and rolling himself in the blanket, practically building himself a fortress on the bed.

"What kind of boyfriend would I be if I let you drown in self-pity?" I sit next to him and his den of blankets and pillows, only he looks up with a blank face, "A respectable one."

"No, pretty sure it makes me careless." I lay down to meet with his eyes, not saying a word. 

"What're you doing?" He asks.

"I'm joining you on the self-pity." I say, "If I can't stop you, might as well join you so you aren't alone."

"What? No,"

"No why?"

"I don't want you to feel-"

He paused, and groans, "Touché."

I take the win and sit up, "I'm getting in the shower. Either you can join me, or you can lay here, thinking about my naked body with water running down it, and feel sorry for yourself as you can't bring yourself to jerk off to the thought because you're such a failure."

Draco watches me seductively get up and start towards the bathroom connected to the room, sighing as he threw the blanket off him and immediately started to strip. 

What can I say? Im irresistible. Also, the fact that he's been trying to get laid this whole week. Now that there's an offer he doesn't hesitate to take it.

-

I grabbed an extra towel out of the cabinet, tossing it at Draco's face and smugly wiping his cum off my chin, "I win."

He scoffed, "Win?"

Instead of answering, I just start walking over towards the giant window and stare, sighing with satisfaction. 

"Win?" He repeats.

"You're not feeling sorry for yourself anymore, more relieved, right?"

"I...yeah..."

I face him, "I. Win." 

As he stares at me with slight annoyance, I just cheekily step up slightly and peck his lips and start to walk over towards my suit case, "Now that there's free time, you have to help me with mental exercises, because I have no idea what this Gen chick is gonna do to Safia if I don't do what she commands."

"That's a bit dramatic, innit?" He waltz over as well.

"No, to say I don't feel extremely threatened would be a lie. You should too. Even your power is nothing compared to hers, and I feel like under the circumstances, that's saying something." 

As quickly as I can, I tug my shirt and pants on while fixing my wet hair and putting my glasses back on. 

Sometimes, sex just required your eyes closed the whole time, not because you're drowning in pleasure, but because either way you're fucking blind without glasses. 

He smiles at my curly hair, I know he admires it a lot, thinks it's cute. I, however, do not, "Stop,"

"Have you ever considered contact lenses?" He looks back down to my face. I shrug, "I like my glasses."

Draco proceeds to fix his towel around his waist. It got silent and I try not to pay attention to his body, that would initiate round two, something I do not believe my body can handle today. 

So, my eyes remain high and in his eyes. 

"Please?" I tap my foot impatiently as I await him to just plop down on the bed with me and teach me, but he waits. I'm not sure you could consider this teasing, but it felt like I was being teased, sexually. Waiting for something you want so bad sucks. 

I stare harder, giving an annoyed look and he swishes air in his mouth, back and forward, nodding, "Yeah, okay, I can do that, but I'm gonna need something in return."

"That's how this works? Our relationship?!"

"Well I don't do charity."

"Of course, I completely read this wrong. Oh boy how I wish my boyfriend would just consider his love enough to fucking help me learn something that depends on a little girls life!" I make sure to dramatically fall back on to the bed and stare up at the mirror I hadn't noticed before. 

It's..a canopy bed, with a mirror? I-

"Relax, I was just gonna ask you to try kinky shit in bed."

I sit up, "Oh..well like what?"

There was another pause, then he smiles, "I was thinking handcuffs..choking...gags-"

"I'll stop you at gags." 

I feel some weight on the edge of the bed, and look up to see him crawling over top of me, his towel naturally falling down his legs and to the ground. 

He was still wet from the waist up, and I couldn't help but worry about the sheets in this moment. Odd right, seductive setting and I'm worried about sheets? I mean, I guess it's fitting, without context. 

"Is our sex just not good enough for you, Malfoy?" I ask as he hovered over my face. 

"No, it is, but..think of it this way. You buy a gaming console, and it comes with one game, you always buy more games, because you want more options. Sex has options. Therefore, the same orgasm face over and over again stops getting satisfying. It's hot, but I need more satisfaction, so?"

"You know what nothing excessive, just bloody teach me mental exercises." I push him off me to sit up and snuggle up in his pillow fort from earlier, resulting in him pulling his wand out, "I need to connect our minds."

"Like..what I have with Sirius and Voldemort?"

He nods, grabbing my hand, "Sometimes, it's involuntary. One who has a connection with someone naturally has something in common, I want to believe it's that darkness, and Sirius has it too."

"I don't trust someone without a dark side."

The two of our heads snap towards the entrance door, Genevieve standing there with her arms crossed. Draco quickly grabs a pillow and covers his junk, but Gen paid no attention to him. She walks forward, "Your minds connected with Voldemort? And you failed to mention it?"

"It's not important, because you know who he is, there's not enough mental exercises in this world to even remotely break through his block."

Draco tried to smile, "There was one time Voldemort was trying to get through Harry, to expose our plan to his crew of followers, this kid barely managed to hold him off."

"If it were me, you wouldn't even know I'm in your head." She sniffs the air and scoffs, "That smell is horrid."

Draco and I exchange a look, and I speak first, "Hows it coming along with Safia?"

"I think she'd be better off as a side kick than a pointless human. I'm gonna train her. Don't worry about it. Your priority is to reach out to your friend who keeps ghosting you, or I'll put your life at risk and we'll draw him out that way. Easy. Do not withhold information from me, I don't need to make more threats given you know I'm capable of carrying out each individual one."

With that, Genevieve left and the two of us both had the same sour expression. I hold my hand back out, squinting, "You don't have the darkness, or our minds would be connected."

"I have it, just not your version. Mine was developed, yours was different. I don't know how you're connected, the darkness is just a theory."

He places the tip of his wand in my hand and runs it down from my wrist to my middle fingertip. The wand was glowing a white light and I could feel everything I felt for Draco but heightened, more overwhelming, intense. 

I gasp, swallowing hard. 

Draco pulls back and panics slightly as I try to process it all. 

"I..haven't even gotten halfway through it, how-"

"Do it- just-" I hold my hand back out and he quickly nods, "Before I continue I need you to understand a few things."

I nod, exhaling slowly. There was just this tingly sensation in the pit of my stomach and it was hugging my skin, causing me to shake slightly and made it almost impossible to focus, but when my eyes met with Draco's it's all I could focus on. 

"This..spell, it's going to bind our minds together. But we first bind our blood, after that happens, our minds are going to be linked. This link..isn't reversible. I.."

"Since when do you ramble?"

He takes another deep breath, "This is serious. Every second of every day you're going to feel me. When you're in pain, I feel it, when I'm in pain, you feel it. We can access each other's memories any time we please unless your block is too strong, which is really unlikely."

"But when Snape showed me how to block Voldemort we didn't have to link that way."

"Yeah.." he murmurs, "But I don't know the spell. It would take me years to learn, decades. If it were an option I wouldn't explain this to you."

I slowly nod, "Well..I trust you."

"But is that ever gonna change? What makes you so sure this is gonna work out?"

I only give a short smile, staring with so much fondness it made it intense, "Because five seconds into the spell and all I feel is you and my body took it and consumed all of you. That feeling makes me sure that this isn't going to end. You shouldn't doubt it either."

"Things can change."

I stop breathing for a minute and immediately push out the thought of doubting our future, and turn it into positivity, grabbing both his hands, "Do you trust me, Malfoy?"

"Of course I do, I know the risk of performing this spell, and I'm fine with it. It's you I'm worried about," He squeezes my hand, "I don't want you to regret doing this one day and have to shut me out because it's the only option. If we do this, you will feel me constantly, and that's a scary thing, it's a commitment that I don't think you're ready to make."

"Christ," I rub my head out of the pure annoyance I felt, "would you stop doubting your worthiness? If I wasn't sure I wouldn't have let us get this far. I've given you power by holding you very high on my list of trusted people, if you take advantage of that, I'm screwed, but I trust you enough to know you wouldn't. I'm okay with this, Draco. Shutting you out would be a mistake."

"Likewise."

Draco grabs the wand and mumbles some spell I couldn't quite make out and slowly cut a straight open wound on the palms of our hands. 

He then connects our hands and holds eye contact, "You accept me, I accept you, right..?"

"Yes," I cringe, "but this feels like a ritual-"

"You're sacrificing your freedom, you're about to share every last thought with me, I think in a way this is considered a ritual."

"I never imagined myself in a bed with Draco Malfoy shirtless bonding our minds after confessing our undying love for each other."

"Really?" He chuckles, "Because this is exactly what I imagined my future to look like."

Though I knew it wasn't possible before all this, I just smile to stop the conversation and let him focus on what was happening. 

At least, I'll have constant reassurance this isn't one sided love. 

He waved his wand carefully. 

The two of us watched a beam of light erupt from his wand, causing all the lights to flicker carefully and then, I could feel him. 

If I focused, I could feel my own hand in his, but from his point of view. I'm not sure it was supposed to work that way, but it's nice. 

I pulled my hand away to see the wound was completely gone, then looked to Draco, "Why can I feel you but I don't feel Sirius or Voldemort?"

"Spell is different than a natural connection." My eyes admire him for a quick moment and then I scan over the sheets. They were damp. I blame Draco. 

The two of us were really just processing the fact that we were bonded on a mental and emotional level, I guess every level, now. 

After a minute or so, Draco stands up and just grabs a pair of my gray sweatpants out of my suitcase. 

My favorite. Generic gray pants without boxers underneath, that's how you turn me on. 

Draco gave a smug look because my stare, and probably because he knows I liked the sight, sitting back down, "Lesson begins."

I just nod in response and stop staring to show him I was paying attention. 

"You visit someone, if they aren't in the same room. They could be across the country and you can just pop up in their world, but only they can see you. If you focus, you can access their thoughts if they aren't being cautious, you can go through things physically while you're visiting, because they would be able to search stuff. Now, reverse this. If you don't want someone to visit, you need to be completely focused on blocking their push. Instead of returning the pull like you casually would without knowing, you need to be in a mindset where you feel their pull before they're there. So get familiar with my pull, and block me the second you start to recognize."

I just nod and watch him get up and walk over to the hallway, shutting the door. 

I await any feeling, any sign someone was pushing through, but there was nothing. All I could feel was the time slowly going by and then Draco stood in front of me, then I felt him. 

He stood beside me and sighed, "It feels like someone's pulling your energy."

"I don't feel anything until after you're here." My frown felt as if it were a habit, like I had to do it because I failed the first try. 

Sometimes I wonder if I could be considered a control freak or perfectionist. 

"You feel me split second before I'm visiting. In that split second, you need to block me out, because you won't be able to break a block if you can't do it yourself. It won't be planned like this is. You need to make it a habit of expecting a visit any second and blocking every moment of every day until you just subconsciously do it, unless you want to visit with someone,"

I groan, and Draco gestures, "Again,"

He disappeared and I waited for that whole beaming jump in my chest to hit. 

The second I felt my chest react, I try to block, but he shows up, "Harder."

He disappears. 

And again, I feel him push quick. To my surprise, I hold him off a few seconds, and then suddenly he's here again. It gives me a headache to block. 

"If you give in Voldemort wins. I'm Voldemort, trying to find out what you're up to. Don't let me in."

"Draco, it's different when all I feel is you." 

"I don't care, block me out, Potter."

"I don't want to, that's the issue."

He rolls his eyes and suddenly the door opens, and he's storming in, "Your feelings get in the way of everything."

"Also has stopped me from becoming someone like Genevieve. I'll take it for what it's worth." My eyes find his and I just look away, "I thought this would be fun."

"This isn't 'fun' Harry, this is serious. Not only is this a step in training but you need this to block people you're connected with. Voldemort is one of them. His pull will be much stronger than mine." He stepped in front of me, "Don't consider this bonding time, okay? Genevieve will kill one of us if we don't take this seriously."

"Fine, just..stop being obnoxious." 

-

We tried and tried until after so long Draco had given up on standing in the hallway and came back in the room, laying on the bed. 

I remember it being so much easier to detect him, but as it turns out it's hard. 

We just stared up at each other through the mirror, tired. I almost felt empty, but it was because I was drained from this. 

"I just wish this shit to be over. Gen has the ability to end it, and she would rather toy around? It's selfish." 

Draco turns his head now so we could look at each other, preferably not through the mirror, "Maybe to her it's not selfish. It's not a threat she's that worried about."

"Doesn't make it any less selfish. He's killing hundreds, brutally. It's only gonna get worse if we don't end it. If we don't end it Ron died for nothing. Everyone who's lost their life to this would die for nothing, and that's not fair."

"I've never actually cared if someone just dies with or without meaning. So to see you talk from your heart without editing your thoughts..it turns me on, Potter."

I roll my eyes playfully, "You're always so horny."

"It's just so impossible to have the pure mind you do." He slowly rolls over and lays on top of me, grinning, "You care about everyone so much."

"It's not something to get off on though. It's my personality-" 

He gives me a fake orgasm face, "Say it again I'm close!"

"Draco shut up these walls are paper thin." I giggle and hide my face from embarrassment, it's just a habit.

He effortlessly kicks my legs open and rests between them, "C'mon Potter, your personality wants to please people. I'm in need."

"Not in need, have needs. Different, and my personality knows the difference."

"What if it was the other way around?"

"Accepting pleasure would be selfish."

He snorts, "I just can't win huh?"

I shake my head and quietly say, "Apparently not," while proceeding to just slowly get more and more horny at the feeling of Draco between my legs, trying to flirt but failing miserably. 

I've got a thing for badass dorks. Shows their true colors, and their true colors are always sweet. 

See, if you get close with the loner kid, the romance ends up being passionate. I wish they would've told me that back when I was interested in Ginny. It's not like I wasn't attracted to her, it was just...weird for me. For Ron too. 

"Give in..." Draco adjusts his voice to sound like a ghost, whispering by my ear.

"Who's speaking?"

"Your conscious-"

I desperately wipe the smile off my face and look up at the mirror, realizing how hot this was. 

Him between my legs, the way my hips lifted at his waist, I simply bit my lip without any thought about the eyes glued onto me. 

"I so win," he mocks me from earlier and slowly leans down to kiss me, in which ends up blocking my view of us in the mirror on top of the bed. 

Our lips meet and the kiss wasn't slow, it went from a peck to a little heavier. Our wavering exhales would travel down each other's faces as we quickly pulled our shirts off. 

Well, I pulled mine off, then tugged at his which he reacted by throwing it across the room, proceeding to untie his sweatpants. 

In one swift movement he kicks them off with his briefs too. 

Then he tugs mine down until we're both completely nude, leaning back in and connecting our lips once again. 

Draco's lips jump to my neck and he starts kissing down it, nibbling on my collar bones. 

I hold back my moans, "This has to be quick though because if she finds out we stopped to have sex she's gonna kill us, and I mean that literally, not just for dramatic effect."

"I can do dramatic effect." He mumbles as his eyes slowly find mine. 

I scoff playfully and his fingers reach down to my dick, holding it in his hand and licking the pre-cum off. 

My face squished together at the sensitive feeling I got, gasping while his lips slowly ran down my tip, simply sucking, to the point his cheeks were hollow. 

Unintentionally, my hands find his hair and I grip it tight, staring down with my jaw dropped, almost croaking. 

His mouth slides further down until he hits his hand, because he can't go further, and slowly comes back up, stroking me, but more so at the tip than lower. 

"We have to be quick." I exclaim as my body tensed up and I can't help but kick my legs up. My body struggled to keep them open, because my first instinct was to squeeze my legs together for a reminder I was okay, and I shouldn't be overwhelmed, but the fact that he was right there prevented me from stopping the overwhelming sensation, so the intensity just continued to rise and rise with every second and every bob of his head. 

I moan slightly louder than it was intended and his eyes find mine, both of us knowing someone was gonna hear that. 

Instead of discussing it though, he suddenly sticks his pointer finger in my rectum, only curling his finger ever so slightly while continuing the blowjob. 

I gasp again, but just as expected it came out so loud, and I cover my own mouth to heavily breathe into my hand instead. 

"I-" I breathe out, "please..just- be quick-"

Despite having to ask so many times I just felt like he wasn't listening. 

He was, but wasn't. I don't know how else to explain. 

His tongue licks up the side of my hard-on while his mouth goes up and off, just his tongue remaining on the tip. Draco then goes back to his hollow-cheek look and sucks away. 

Then, all of a sudden, he gives his finger a quick wiggle after pushing slightly deeper and my entire body reacts by tensing up so bad I could feel my calf's and arse cramping. 

Before I could cry out, I bit my finger and let out a muffled whine, my hips shaking in protest. 

My one hand that remained on his hair pushed his head away and I backed up quickly, squeezing my legs in attempt to stop my body from feeling it. 

It's not that I wasn't enjoying it, it's more of the fact that I'm tensing up so bad it makes my body shake. 

I rest against the pillows and breathe heavily, "Fuck.."

When I look down to see how smug he was, he was just licking his finger, wiping spit off his swollen lips. 

I almost laugh, but it turns into more of a moan from that sight and I lazily nod, "It was never that intense before."

He grabs my hips and pulls me down to his own hips, but I kind of wiggle away because I was still coming down. 

But Draco grabs my hips and pins me in place, massaging circles into my sides, which determined he was gonna let me have a minute. 

"You've never got intimate with me while our minds were connected. You feel twice the amount of pleasure because I feel your own pleasure too."

"So technically you're orgasming as well?"

"Mentally, I feel the intensity, and it flows through my body, but my body doesn't react unless I'm receiving."

I nod, trying to sit up, "You need to feel that-"

"I did, you just didn't see the reaction because I didn't have one."

Suddenly he stops rubbing my hips and leans over to the side table, grabbing lube from it and flipping the cap open. 

"Why do you just have that laying around? We haven't been here that long."

"Always keep it with me. I have you for a partner. Temptation is an always."

He was hard from before and slowly presses his tip against my hole, staring down my facial expression cheekily. 

"Please don't make me have that orgasm again Genevieve will hear it-"

He pushes inside me and once again, my body tensed and I grab on to his hips in attempt to stop them. 

The feeling of him fill me up was already overwhelming enough by itself, it doesn't help that it was heightened because of him. 

It didn't make my body shake intensely, nothing crazy, but it did fill the pit of my stomach with a warm tingly feeling. 

My mouth drops to an 'O' shape, while Draco softly grabs my weak hands and with one of his own hands, pulls them upward and above my head, wrists together.

You could just tell his brain was thinking about me cuffed while he's inside me. I knew it's what he was thinking. 

Because it distracted him so much that he wasn't even moving his hips, and I've learned that adjustment time during sex was never a thing when it's with Draco.

But I didn't give any indication I wanted that, and just dropped my head backwards, exposing my neck. 

Draco used my movement to snap out of it, and slowly moved his hips back and forward. 

I shut my eyes, the pain wasn't really there anymore. It used to be, I just have a high pain tolerance, and after awhile it's practically nonexistent. 

That's how this felt. It was just smooth, and finally, I could just enjoy it. 

Draco takes advantage of my position and brings his hand to my neck, not squeezing to the point it was impossible to breathe, but enough that I'd feel it. 

I open my eyes slightly and look to the mirror, seeing his lazy thrusts progressively get quicker. 

My hands fall to Draco's and I grip the hand choking me, a small smile forming on my lips. 

As hard as it was, I had to be quiet. I know if Gen heard she'd storm in without remorse. 

I kick my legs up and around his hips. 

Draco carefully pumps into me, removing his hand from my throat to move my own hips to meet with his. 

He bounces me, and it causes the clapping to get louder, but also causes them to get harder and more pleasurable. 

So, I do as he wants, bouncing my body back and forward to meet with his thrusts. It was the best decision. 

I almost moan, but he covers my mouth and looks down at me, awaiting me to nod. I do, and bite my lip once he puts his hands back on my hips. 

"Fuck," I whimper. 

It was so good that it almost hurt. 

I close my eyes and try to feel what he feels, being inside me, the tightness, how my body moving in sync with his feels. 

When I reopen my eyes I'm in Draco's body, not controlling it but I could feel him thrusting into me. 

And then I wonder how the hell he's keeping his moans in control. It felt so good, but he was just so focused on pleasing me that he wasn't paying attention to himself. 

So, again, I switch back to my own body, uncurling my toes, stopping my body, "..Stop..stop, let me turn over." 

Without even moving my body, he throws me over to doggy in which I yelp, followed by lazy giggles. 

He didn't hesitate to push back inside me and does as I expected, picking up exactly off where we left it. 

His thrusts felt more aggressive this time. 

It was so quick and hard that now it did hurt, but I let him because I knew it was to please him. 

Part of him likes the aggressive sex, it's not like I couldn't handle it, it didn't overwhelm me. My body needs more personal touches to be overwhelmed. 

It was for his pleasure, so I let him. 

"Fuck me! Oh my g-" he covered my mouth since my words were louder than intended. 

I let a muffled moan out against his hand and start to bounce my hips with his, moving just as quickly. 

His mouth dropped slightly and he groans while I control the feeling. 

Suddenly he stops thrusting and lets me control it. His hand falls down behind him and grips the bed board because he needed something to stop him from falling. 

"Fu- you- get on top of me-" he stutters but managed. I didn't do it right away, just moving him inside of me until he let a moan out. 

"Stop- you'll make me cum Harry, s-"

I finally do, slowly feeling as he pulled out and feel empty, both physically and mentally. I hated that feeling. 

He takes a moment to pause, slowly just crawling in front of me and laying in front of me, sideways because I was in the same spot, processing the emptiness. 

"Ride me, now Potter. Or I will fuck you to hurt, not to please."

"It's pleasurable either way, Malfoy." I straddle his hips and move my hand down to push him inside me, but he uses his hips and thrusts up, immediately falling deep inside me and hitting my walls. 

I tense and gasp, my body shaking slightly from the unannounced pleasure and pain.

He watches me reluctantly bounce my hips, from still adjusting. 

It's not that I didn't find it fun, it's just I've learned my body needs a minute. 

Draco pulls my head down by the back of my neck and attacked my lips sweetly. I could feel his body vibrating from me, it was satisfying to know I caused it this time. 

His hand pushes me away from his lips and falls down to my dick, stroking me slowly, watching me intensely. 

I liked being watched though, it didn't make me feel like I had to please him more, or intimidating, just made me..like it more. 

I open my mouth and let out quiet breathy moans as it gets more and more intense, when finally, we cum at the same time, covering each other's mouths the second something loud started to leave. 

As we both come down, our bodies just kind of..go limp? 

There was a short moment of eye contact, then I slowly roll off his body and next to him, not staring up because I didn't want to see us. 

We probably look like hot sweaty messes. 

"I love you, Harry Potter." He says, while turning his head to face me with the stupidest grin ever. 

I snort, "Mmhm, I love you, Draco Malfoy."

~


	20. Chapter 20

If you fast forward two weeks, I actually got down the mental blocking. 

Draco has slowly been working with me on breaking the blocking. 

As it turns out, I didn't respect Voldemort or Sirius enough, because this was absolutely the hardest thing I've ever had to practice. 

Genevieve would just say something snarky, but I knew she was impressed with me, which was satisfying, because she doesn't seem like the type to just be impressed with something that comes so easily to her. 

I stood in her room with Draco and her in front of me. 

Safia and Rode weren't by us at all, they had left to grab takeout. 

"What am I asking again?" I sit down in front of her miniature library and Draco holds my hand, in case I needed him to pull me out. 

She crossed her arms, "He's the inside guy. Get any information you can. And if he's suspicious at any point, you leave and block him."

"Easy enough."

"You say that now, but anyone associated with Voldemort is undyingly, annoyingly, and pathetically loyal. Good luck. I assume this'll take awhile. I'm gonna take a nice long walk and come up with a plan to slit that twit's neck."

Draco watches her walk off, "Include us in that plan! This isn't a solo gig anymore, Genevieve!"

She waved him off as she exited the door, leaving just us. 

I take a deep breath and shortly after nod, "I got this."

"Think of it as taking candy from a baby. He's vulnerable when it comes to you, he'll give you information if it means you can't get killed."

I stare, "I don't want to think of it that way."

"Looking at it now it's about the only way you can look at it."

Instead of arguing or continuing the conversation–in which just made my anxiety worse–I started the process. 

It wasn't long before I had gotten through and could see what he saw. 

He was in the room with Voldemort, they were talking a plan. 

There was no way Sirius didn't sense me. I know how it felt to feel someone visiting, without permission. 

So he definitely should know I was here. 

"We should consider the idea that Potter might team up with her. We need to make sure this doesn't happen." A random man said. I didn't recognize him. 

Sirius would. 

"I wonder if I visit while you two are together you'll both see me." I circle the table and eye the paper, they were brainstorming plans. 

I chuckle at 'Kill Malfoy, drives Potter to suicide.'

"Do you honestly think I need someone alive to keep myself alive?" 

Sirius tried to ignore me, but only because Voldemort was here. He didn't want Voldemort to know he was still personally attached to me, that'd put me at risk. 

How'd I know that? I have to ask myself because I really don't know. 

"Okay," Sirius says, "What if I make him think I'm on his side, and warn him she'll kill him?"

Voldemort stares coldly, "We need something. If those two come together, this is a war that would be impossible to win. Not to mention that Malfoy boy-"

"I heard he's been studying the magic that got you where you are, my lord." The boy I didn't recognize says. 

I read the rest of the ideas, which were terrible. He's struggling. That's good. 

We're ahead. 

"That boy will be your downfall, my lord." Sirius lowers his head to show respect and I raise an eyebrow. 

"I have..errands to run. Do not stop brainstorming." Voldemort starts to leave but only Sirius questions him, "My lord?"

"Either one has to die."

"They'll be expecting you." Sirius eyes me, but Voldemort ignores him and continues walking. 

The one boy follows after to beg Voldemort not to go, you could tell he genuinely feared us. 

"Who do you think you are coming here?!!" Sirius grabs me by my shirt but I fail to even flinch. 

I push him off me, "You left me hanging! What the hell?!"

"He was suspicious I was sympathizing. He threatened you, so I had to cut you off. If you die because of me, I can't live with that."

"You have more to worry about than just me. What should I be expecting?" I gesture in front of me. This was where they make their big plans. 

I'll have to admit, I respect the fact that it's a team play. He doesn't want to be reckless. In his mind. 

Though, his plan is reckless and cruel, it's not in his mind. It's equality, the right to know all sides of the world. 

To rule both sides. 

"Well, for starters, either he's coming for you or the girl. You should expect a sacrifice play soon. He won't confide in me, but that boy you saw? His new second. He confides in him. Whatever he's planning Jacques knows. All I know is he has something big planned." Sirius eyes me, "You look different."

"The hair, I've put product in it. Draco likes it curly." I run a finger through it and then sigh, "Who is this girl? The one that's reckless, who he wants dead?"

"She's..dangerous. I'm not allowed to say much. She's no threat to you. Just know, I am serious when I say she will kill you if you wrong her or get involved. She works better alone."

"Can you figure out his big plan?" I ask, but he shrugs lazily, "Not likely. If I fish around it'll sound suspicious. The followers talk though, Jacques brags about his role in the war, so someone might know. I can't be the one to fish though." 

Instead of talking more, I just nod, and leave. 

Draco had been sat down in front of me with our hands still intertwined, and I look behind him to see Genevieve was back. 

"Was I gone long?" I ask quietly. 

"A half hour, feels shorter, huh?" Genevieve says, walking up and sitting on the coffee table in front of us that Draco had rested our arms on. 

She was being nice. I stared suspiciously, "No random threat if I withhold information?"

Gen inhales sharply, forcefully, "You haven't given me long enough yet. What'd he say?"

"There's a sacrifice play soon. A big one. He doesn't confide in him, just his second, it's a kid, named Jacques, he's not much older than seventeen. Maybe younger." I let go of Draco's hand cautiously and look at Genevieve, "My guy isn't the inside guy. Voldemort doesn't trust him. What if we somehow got Jacques to be our inside guy?"

"It's unlikely we pull that off, can't rely on it." Malfoy murmurs.

Gen pinches her chin and then rubs her temples, "Anything else?"

"Just..Voldemort is afraid of his biggest enemies working together. Us. The three of us, but only either Gen or I have to die. He's running errands. Searching for one of us right now."

"I'll handle it." She stands and starts to walk off, but I quickly feel a panic and realize Sirius is trying to get through. While holding him off, I give multiple panicked gestures, "Sirius is visiting, trying to. Genevieve go!"

"Sirius Black?!!" She exclaims, rushing over, with a dagger against my neck. 

Draco tried to grab his wand, but she pulls another one out and holds it against our necks. 

We lift our heads to avoid skin folding over, and I accidentally lose track of my focus, and there's Sirius, panicked, staring wide eyes at her. 

"Harry what is this?!! You aren't supposed to be associated with this heartless girl!" He stands nervously, eyeing her down. 

Genevieve smiles slightly, "I know you're here, Black, if you want him alive, you will meet with me in person, in public, and if you so as even think about telling Voldemort who you ran into, I'll kill Potter, and his boyfriend, but I doubt the boyfriend means a thing to you."

I look to Sirius, curiously as I just kind of forget a knife is against my throat, and he chirps nervously, "Okay, okay,"

"He said okay." I look up at her, receiving a short nod to know it was intentional to scare him. 

"Potter, was it? I'll find you if you leave." Gen eyes the area I kept looking at, "I know you can hear me, so meet me at the spot. You know where."

He nods and disappears, and she pulls away, walking off. 

"He's gone, how the hell do you know Sirius?!" I stand and walk over, furious. 

"Godfather. Did me wrong, betrayed me, that's where my association comes in with Voldemort. You?" 

"Godfather..." I furrow my eyebrows and we both look at Draco, this was the first time I've seen her confused. She's always just so emotionless, but looking at it now, she had emotion, you just have to have a slight reason to get her to show it. 

"Wait can I go with you to meet him?!" I ask, "We need to talk more."

She's reluctant, but gives in, "He can't know you're with me."

I nod and grab my coat, "I'll be back Draco," as I grab it I rush over and kiss his cheek, then rush out behind Genevieve, who's just so calm. 

"What's your story? You can't withhold it from me, if we have a connection I need to know." 

She laughs, "Connection? Kid, listen, we aren't bonded if there's any connection."

"Sirius is a connection. Godfather? He's the only family I had!"

"Me too." She stops walking once we're outside, to face me. "Who was your mom? Or dad?"

"Lily and James Potter. You?"

"Foster care my entire life. I wouldn't know."

"Is there a chance you're my sister?!"

"I'd know if we were related. I can't be related to someone so cocky." 

I roll my eyes as we start towards the bus stop.

We waited to continue the conversation until we got off the bus, and got to the..woods? 

It had rained the other day, but the mud was dry, not moist. It was..weird. 

"If Sirius is your godfather, why were you in foster care?"

"Azkaban. Our minds were connected before he died. I felt him die." 

"I watched him die." I murmured, and she glances at me, "That must've been painful. I assume you were young."

I don't say anything as we near a big pond, Sirius standing up from the bench when he saw us together. 

She grips my arm harshly and pulls me towards him, shoving me at his feet, "Why are you this kids godfather?!!"

"I..Genevieve I can explain-" he tries but she throws her knife at him, stopping it right at his eyes, "Answer me. You knew my parents. You never told me a thing about them. Is it because this boy?!"

"I didn't want you to know the truth-"

"I deserve it!"

He moved the knife to the side and she lets it fall to the hard ground, as the water begins to glow an ominous white color. In a way it was attractive. I didn't want to look away. 

"Am I related to this boy? Or-"

"You share a mum." He answers, "Lily Potter."

She stops, "My dad?"

"Severus Snape."

My head snaps up and I look to Sirius, "Are you kidding? My mum put out for him?!"

"They were in love before James. She took that secret to her grave. I had to respect that. Lily was an amazing woman, I didn't want you to know Genevieve, it's easier to hate someone who didn't want you than to have to realize you can't blame her. She was too young to have a kid, she couldn't support it, so she gave you up." 

I stand, and Gen lets me. We're both so dumbfounded. 

She exhales, "Why'd she keep Harry?"

"He was planned." Sirius looks down, "I'm sorry, I love you both so much. But it wasn't my secret to tell."

"Why'd you tell me now?"

"A knife, up to my neck." 

She sighs, looking to me, "Shit."

Gen turns around, running her fingers through her hair. With the flick over her wrist, she throws Sirius into the water, screaming and cause all the leaves to fall. 

As I panic and pull my wand out to pull Sirius out, I glance behind me to see she was already gone. 

He sits on the ground, shivering, "I'm sorry Harry."

"Don't apologize to me." I say, making it sound sympathetic. Sirius smiles, but then I go dead, "No words can make up for the biggest mistake you just made. I had family, and you didn't tell me? She's dangerous, but she's never known love. I don't care who's side you're on, Genevieve is not a bad guy. She needs someone she can look at and rely on. You denied her that her entire life. She turned out the way she did because of you."

I storm off. 

-

When I get back, I realize Genevieve isn't there. She never came back, according to Draco. 

I fill Draco in on it, what went down, because I was so unstable but I just couldn't cry. I don't think I had any left. 

He would just comfort me and change the topic so I didn't have to think of it. 

We laid on bed with the lights off, but the curtains fully open so the big windows and balcony windows shined through, well, the moonlight did anyway. 

He held me in his arms and I just curled up and stared off, "I have a sister, one who's terribly broken, and I've been worried about ending a war?"

"You didn't know, you can't change that. You can only go further, do something about it next. It's only fair."

I sigh deeply and nod, he was right, I just was in denial, "She didn't handle it well. She thought her parents didn't want her, and they didn't, but she didn't know they tried to start a different life. Well, her mum. Our mum. I just can't believe Lily was with Severus and nobody knew."

"Severus was madly in love with her, but the story was always he never got her. He wasn't the special one, James was." 

"How did Gen become so powerful though?"

"Severus, I assume. Might be-"

"Dumbledore would know."

"Yeah..he would."

~

It's so hard to process. I can't imagine how Gen feels. 

For Sirius to keep the secret past my parents death? At this point it's selfish because Lily isn't alive to take the blame. 

My mum isn't alive to take the blame. 

Draco has been trying his hardest to comfort, make me feel better, but the reason I don't really feel better is because I feel like I've been living a lie. I just think Gen has it worse. 

"We should try and find her." I murmur. 

"Why?" Rode snorts, biting his pancake, "She's psycho."

"She's my sister." I look at him with a harsh glare, and he backs off. 

"Half sister." Draco sets down the stack of pancakes in the middle, "Ands what's it matter? She'll come back when she's cooled down. If there's any chance she has family, she'll come back."

"She threw Sirius in the water, had a temper tantrum and knocked all the leaves off the trees, Draco. It's almost May."

So..maybe she's been gone awhile, so what? I talk about it daily. 

"Right now Voldemort is chasing after her or trying to find me. She isn't safe. I know she can handle herself, but she's not stable enough to, that's where I'm concerned." 

I shrug off the annoyance Rode sent, while Safia just happily digs into her breakfast. 

I sigh once nobody said a word, "I'll look for her then. Since you guys are clearly afraid."

"Alone? You'd be at risk just as much as she is." Draco tried to talk me out of it, but it ended with me rolling my eyes and rushing to grab supplies I'd need for a week, including food. 

She could be anywhere, and I want to be the person she learns to trust. Nobody deserves to go through this alone. 

Draco drops his fork after sighing and chasing after me to our room, "Harry! Listen! You aren't gonna find her. Let her cool off, it's okay. Your heart is too big. Swallow your pride and let the girl cool off. I think seeing the kid her mum decided to keep is gonna set her off. She's not stable, you'd be at risk."

"She's my sister, you arse." I shake my head in denial as I aggressively shove shit in my duffle bag. 

Draco grabs my wrist and stops me, "You aren't going. I will. I'll find her for you."

"No, absolutely not-"

"Why?" He tilts his head, curiously. 

I huff, "It's dangerous! You'll get yourself k-"

Then, I pause, realizing his subtle manipulation and laugh sarcastically and hysterically, "As if. You aren't going. I am. She doesn't like you, but as her only family alive, I'm about all she has. She needs me."

"What makes you so sure, Harry?"

"I..don't know. I just feel like she needs me right now." I murmur. 

He chuckled, forcefully, "You think you're bonded then? Is that what you're saying?"

"No, I just know she needs me."

He groaned as I ignore him and continue. 

When I'm about to leave, I stop at the sight of a figure in the doorway. 

While squinting my eyes, I realize it's a man, holding a wand out. He walks forward into the light, the sun shining on his mischievous expression, "You're the kid who's made life living hell? You don't look threatening."

Draco turns as well. 

I step in front of him, "Likewise. You look familiar-"

I stop walking forward until I realize it's Jacques. 

"Draco, get the other two and leave. Right fucking now." I go to pull my own wand out but he doesn't hesitate to use his wand, breaking my wrist so easily, I scream in pain. 

"Harry-"

"Go! Now! Malfoy."

He panics, eyes flickering. 

"Draco!" I yell, "You'd be selfish to stay. They're kids!"

"But you-"

"What about me?! They want me, not you."

Draco looks me in the eye and even turns his back to Jacques, kneeling down, "I can't just go-"

"Yes you can you idiot. Safia is in danger." I grit my teeth and look back to Jacques, "Me, right?"

He nods, "If your friend leaves, just know if you have meaning to me, you won't be safe, even in Africa. Nowhere you go makes you safe. No distance makes you safe."

Draco bites his lip and goes to pull his wand out, but I do it quicker, flashing it as he disappears, and I know I sent Safia and Rode with him because I heard plates break in the kitchen. They were probably putting them in the dishwasher, and didn't get enough time to. 

Draco's wand drops to the floor in front of me and I lazily look to Jacques, "What did Voldemort promise you?"

"A throne beside him when both worlds are equal." He walks forward, looking down on me, "But to question me? How pathetic. Look at you. For some kid who is supposed to rid the world of its threats from his world, you are terribly pathetic. You stood no chance I mean how-"

Voldemort walks in behind him, and I don't even react. I figured he was here. I should've been expecting it, it was happening soon. 

"Enough, boy." Voldemort dismisses him and he steps beside the doorframe. 

"I suppose it's time I rid the world of you. I enjoy a equal battle to the death, but with that disgrace being another enemy of mine, I can't possibly risk you being there." He holds his wand, as if he didn't know what to do with his hands. "It's this or I make you kill Draco. But I suppose, you'd act on vengeance. I won't risk that."

I don't say a word, looking away and to the window. I prepared myself for the worst. To die? I'd expect it. I have, actually. One day it was gonna happen. I just didn't think I'd make it this far. So I'm at peace with the idea. 

"Look at me," he yells, and I do, "I want to see your soul leave your body the exact moment I succeed."

Slowly, Voldemort lowers his wand to my forehead, about to say those special words he's so fond of. 

However, he doesn't get the chance. He's about to, when his eyes become unfocused, and he looks behind him, to his second, on his knees, while his wand is in the air. 

His wand snaps while Voldemort's eyes were on it, and in walks Gen. 

She wore tore up clothes, sticks in her hair, cuts all over her body, "I could snap your neck without flinching, and you dare multitask? It's my turn, not yours. My move."

Gen gestures at me and then giggles when Voldemort growls. 

He points his wand and blocks her knife she threw, and yells 'avada kedavra', but she easily moves it to the side and holds it in front of Jacques face, grinning at Voldemort when he panicked slightly and grabbed Draco's wand, "Expulso!"

All the books from the bookshelf blow up behind Genevieve and almost fall on her, but she jumps and tumbles behind Voldemort, only he had expected it. The dark lord grins upon her below him, taking her own knife from the floor and holding it to her neck while holding her down with his magic. 

At first, she's struggling to stay up, even Voldemort grins and expects an easy victory, just as I thought she lost. Gen slowly returns the cocky smile, using her own magic and sitting up, until she was on her feet. 

The knife fell across the room and she kicks his chest, and her magic slammed the noseless d-bag against the wall beside Jacques, who was now unconscious. 

"I can kill you." She gets close, because Voldemort stopped fighting. He always gave one the chance to speak. Only, it was the other way around. "So easily, Tom. I could do it while meditating. Yoga. Playing soccer. You wouldn't even know. The strongest wizard ever to be known, and yet, I look at you, and all I see is a pathetic wannabe villain. This is reality, not a series. You're a terrible villain."

"I don't like a cocky 'hero' talking down to me." He says, smiling, "Legilimens!"

Genevieve gasps, falling to the ground as her body starts violently shaking. 

My eyes widen and I back up to the bed weakly, mentally screaming 'shit shit shit'. Can you blame me?

Voldemort waves his wand once more, in front of me actually, as Draco appears. 

"Before I kill you, I hope you suffer a merciless death."

Draco's eyes meet with mine, he's so confused, searching for a sense of comfort, because he knows what's about to happen. 

I try to stand, but the second I look down, I hear a gashing sound, and when I look up, Voldemort holds something bloody in his hand; a heart. 

Draco's eyes look at me one last time, before he falls to the ground.

I let a high pitched squeak out, my entire body falling limp and my mouth frowning so deeply I didn't think I'd survive the pain. 

My heart was pounding to such an extent, the tears rolled down my face and I cried so hard, "I'll kill you! You bastard! I'll kill you..." instead of crawling to Draco, I sit on my knees where I am, sobbing. 

"He was just a means to an end." Voldemort drops the heart in front of me, looking back at Genevieve for split second, then to Jacques, "You killed hundreds of my men. When I take two, you riot, you don't follow the rules of recklessness, you take it to such an extent. It's only balance, boy."

"Balance?" I laugh through tears, "Balance is our world is different than the muggles. Balance is keeping our secret from them, those who are close- minded are undeserving. You don't know shit about-balance. You call yourself merciful, but turn and destroy what's left of balance, you show no mercy. You're a fraud."

"You, are the fraud. The hero of the story doesn't make those plays, Harry Potter made reckless plays. You kill hundreds and call it balance. Ronald was also a means to an end."

I look down, he was right, but my eyes find Draco's lifeless body, and while Voldemort walks closer, I feel myself drift off slowly. It didn't feel like death. 

Not what I expected it to be. 

Moments later, I wake, in a place so calm, peaceful. 

"The wars over, you can rest now."

An unfamiliar voice spoke. 

But it didn't matter. I saw a beautiful valley, with a small wooden cabin on the water stream, my heart felt so full looking. 

When I turn around, I see them. It's my parents. 

"Your war isn't over, baby." My mum cups my face, "You're this worlds only hope. You need to go back."

"I don't want to go back." I sniffle, looking up to see the sun, but it didn't hurt to look at it. I could feel the heat. It was so reassuring and calming, "I can't. You know what happened."

"You and Genevieve are so much stronger than you think. You're one whole together. Don't underestimate yourselves." My dad pulls me into a hug. 

"No- wait don't make me go back. Mom, dad!" I yell, but I felt like they couldn't hear me, "I need you guys I can't do this without you-"

"Yes, you can. Your story isn't over yet." 

Within seconds, I feel the tears streaming down my face. But when I touch my face, there's nothing. 

~


End file.
